by Kay Correll
And then, all he wanted to do was to see Ruby. He headed down the beach toward her house. He knew she was baking cookies at the inn with her Yarn Society and didn’t want to bother her there. But he could go to her house and wait for her to come home. He didn’t care how long he had to sit there.
He quickened his pace now that he had a mission and a purpose.
Robin came into Charlotte’s studio. “Hey, this was on the front step. It’s addressed to you.” Robin handed her a flat package.
She gently pried open the end. A book slid out. A book of Mary Oliver’s poems. “Oh, she’s my favorite.”
“Did you order it?”
“No.” She frowned. A note fell out of the book when she opened it. She unfolded the paper.
Charlotte,
Enjoy the poems. I read some of her work after you mentioned you enjoyed her poems so much. This is my favorite book of her poetry.
Ben
“It’s from Ben.” She looked at Robin. “Sometimes I think he isn’t really listening to me. But I guess he is. He remembered I said I loved her work.”
“He’s trying, Char. Maybe you should give him another chance.”
“Buying me presents won’t solve all our problems.” She shook her head.
“You also won’t solve them if you don’t talk to him and sort things out.” Robin started to leave and turned and said over her shoulder, “But it’s up to you. You do what you think is right for you. You know I’ll always support your decisions.”
She sat there leafing through the book of the beloved poems. She closed the book and ran her fingers over the smooth cover.
He had at least been listening to her. Maybe they could get back in sync. Maybe they could get back to being two of a kind.
Maybe.
Chapter 18
After everyone left Jay to his kitchen and dinner prep, Lillian invited Ruby to sit and have a cup of tea with her. A few minutes off her feet before her walk back home sounded like a perfect idea. She followed Lillian to The Nest.
“Oh, this is lovely,” Ruby said as she entered the charming area that Lillian and Sara lived in.
“We think so. I love having my own space in this private wing. A place to get away, if only just a few short steps from the main part of the inn. Sara named this The Nest when she was a young girl and the name just stuck.”
Lillian put water on to boil in an old-fashioned tea kettle. “Creature of habit. It’s not real tea until you boil the water, and I’ve had that same tea kettle for most of my adult life.” She reached into the cabinet and took out a wooden box. “I’m kind of a connoisseur of tea. Pick what you’d like.”
She glanced through the assortment and picked out a mint tea. They settled at Lillian’s kitchen table with their tea. The wood of the table was worn smooth from years of use. The whole kitchen was lovely, and homey, and begged a person to come in and sit down.
She swirled her bag around in the steaming water, watching it darken, enjoying the moment with her new friend. She’d known Lillian before, but they’d never been close. These last few weeks, they’d struck up a friendship and she enjoyed having another woman to chat with. She enjoyed everyone at The Yarn Society.
“So, do you have plans with David again?” Lillian lifted her teacup, blew on it, and took a sip.
“Nothing planned, no. I told him I had the baking to do today.”
“Do you like him?”
“Well, I’m not ready for anything serious, but I do enjoy his company.”
“When you are ready to get serious, what do you look for in a man?”
Ruby frowned, thinking for a moment. “Just three little things, really. He needs to… appreciate me, you know, not take me for granted. He needs to get along with my son, and—” She grinned. “He needs to love my dog.”
“Well, with David, two out of three isn’t bad.” Lillian laughed. “But maybe Ben will come around.”
“Maybe…” She still hadn’t had a talk with her son, and she needed too. Because she was going to continue to see David as long as he was here on the island.
After they finished their tea, she headed back to her house. Mischief was probably tired of being alone. When she got near the house, she saw someone sitting on the porch steps, and as soon as she recognized him a smile crept onto her face and her heart did that little flip that she was starting to become accustomed too.
David.
David looked up and saw Ruby headed across the beach toward him, a welcoming smile on her face. He jumped up and met her halfway, wondering if it would be okay if he kissed her, but a bit unsure of himself.
“Hi. This is a nice surprise.” Her eyes shone with pleasure.
That was all the encouragement he needed. He leaned down and kissed those lips of hers. The ones he’d dreamed about all night long.
She rested the palm of her hand against his chest, and he covered it with his own. He finally pulled back and traced a finger along her jawline, taking in every single detail of her face.
“I just wanted to see you,” he said simply.
“I’m glad you did. Come, let’s go let Mischief out.”
They crossed the sand, hand in hand, and Ruby let Mischief out. They stood and watched the dog nose around the area off of the porch. As they leaned against the deck railing, he covered her hand with his. He needed the connection to her, to life.
She turned her face to him and the look he saw in her eyes caught him off guard. He would swear there was caring there. Maybe even more. Which was impossible after just these few days, right? It had only been a little over a week.
Only… if he’d let himself admit it, he knew he had feelings for Ruby, too. Which was crazy, but true.
Chapter 19
Ruby woke up the next morning with a strange feeling of sadness hanging heavily over her. The room seemed darker than usual. Even Mischief seemed to pick up on her mood and curled up beside her on the bed without demanding they get up and face the day.
She finally forced herself to get up and dressed and headed to the kitchen to make her coffee, the heavy feeling still pressing down on her. She walked past the calendar hanging on the wall and gasped.
How could she have forgotten? She’d lost track of the days recently. She’d been so busy with The Yarn Society… and David.
But today was the anniversary of Barry’s death. She’d known it. Felt it. She just hadn’t let it reach her consciousness… until now. She closed her eyes as if not looking at the calendar would make it go away.
It didn’t help. Not one bit. She struggled to breathe, to hide from the stabbing pain that attacked every cell of her being.
She made the coffee with rote motions. Unaware really of what she was doing. She stood at the kitchen sink staring out the window the whole time the coffee was brewing. The loud final gurgles of the coffee maker finally broke through to her and she went over and poured herself a cup.
She turned around and looked at the kitchen table… but she couldn’t face sitting there alone with her coffee and her thoughts. “Come on, Mischief, let’s go outside.”
She stood on the deck while Mischief wandered around the area below the steps, coming back time and time again to look at her before going back to his explorations. She’d hoped the cool sea breeze would calm her or chase away the heaviness, but instead, the weight smothered her with a blanket of pain.
“Come on, Mischief, let’s go for a walk.” Maybe that would help.
Maybe.
But every step she took hammered home the date. She wondered if this date would ever be surrounded in good memories instead of the suffocating feeling of loss. She headed to Lighthouse Point and stood there beside the water’s edge. She finally sank down onto the cool sand and Mischief crawled into her lap.
Then the tears came. Slowly at first, but then in big, gulping sobs as she sat there and clung to her dog.
David decided to take an early morning walk. He was too restless to even shave and get cleaned up. He just wa
nted to get out in the fresh air. A brisk walk would do him good. Then he’d come back and get cleaned up and start his day.
He headed toward Lighthouse Point, which had become his favorite spot on the beach. As he neared the lighthouse, he saw a lone woman sitting on the beach. As he got closer he realized it was Ruby and a wide grin spread across his face. Perfect timing. Fate. Destiny. He quickened his pace.
As he approached he saw her head was bent, cuddling Mischief, and for all the world, it looked like she was crying. Sobbing. He paused, uncertain. Mischief looked up and saw him but made no move to come and greet him. Something was definitely wrong.
He couldn’t just leave her there. He had to know what was wrong. “Ruby?” He said the words gently.
She looked up at him, her face red and blotchy, her eyes swollen.
He dropped to his knees beside her. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head.
“You can tell me.”
She closed her eyes. “It… It’s the anniversary of Barry’s death. And I almost forgot. How could I forget?” She opened her eyes. “Though, maybe I forgot on purpose. Trying to protect my heart. I still miss him so much. Every day.”
“I’m sure you do. I understand.” He felt helpless. He wanted to take her into his arms and comfort her but didn’t think it would be the right thing to do.
“It just hurts so much sometimes. And just when I think I’m dealing with it… it catches me unaware at random moments. The stabbing pain from those unexpected memories almost brings me to my knees.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. For how hard it is for you.”
“You’re probably not the person I should be talking to about this.” Tears trailed down her cheeks.
“Why not?”
“Isn’t it strange… because of… whatever it is between us. Strange to sit here and listen to me cry about my husband?”
He caught himself right before he reached out to touch her and pulled his hand back to rest beside him. “I don’t mind. I’m just sorry to see you in such pain.”
“I’m sorry to dump my troubles on you.”
“I’ve got strong shoulders to lean on.”
She gave him a weak smile.
“Would you like me to stay here with you? Or maybe walk you back to your house?”
“If you don’t mind, I think I just need some time alone.” The sadness settled on her face, and that look was breaking his heart.
“Whatever you want. Whatever you need.” He pushed off the sand and rose to his feet. “I’m here if you need me. If you want to talk. Otherwise, I’ll give you your space. You call me when you’re ready, okay?”
“Thanks, David.”
He turned and slowly walked away from her, one of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life.
Chapter 20
David walked slowly back to the inn and trudged up the stairs to the top floor, exhausted. Usually his walks didn’t tire him like this. Must just be the emotional upset of seeing Ruby like that.
He went into his room and busied himself getting showered and shaved. He paused in his shaving routine and frowned. He swore his lymph node was a bit swollen. A few days ago he’d thought the same thing, but ignored it. Today it was slightly sore and hard to ignore.
The words of his oncologist echoed in his mind. He should watch for symptoms such as swollen glands, tiredness, and weight loss. He had been losing weight. At least he thought he had. His clothes felt a bit looser.
He closed his eyes to his reflection in the mirror. Should he head back to Kansas City and see his doctor? But what if Ruby needed him now? She’d been so heartbroken. Maybe after she had a bit of time to herself, she’d want his company. How could he just leave her now?
Maybe he’d find a doctor here on the island and just have some preliminary tests run. This was one of the worst things about his cancer diagnosis. Even though he’d been ruled officially “cancer-free” there was always the worry about a recurrence. His doctor had warned him to stay on top of any warning symptoms.
There was no use in avoiding it. He had been tired. And now this stupid lymph node. He finished shaving, got dressed, and went down to the lobby.
He saw Lillian there and decided to ask her to recommend a doctor. He crossed over to where she was working behind the reception desk. When the other guests left, he walked up to the desk. “Say, don’t suppose you could recommend a doctor to me?”
“I can. Are you okay?”
“Just think I, uh, picked up a bug of some sort.”
“Ashley Harden would be my suggestion. She’s very competent and caring. She has an office down the street. She takes walk-ins.”
“Thanks for the recommendation.”
Lillian gave him a worried look but didn’t pry for which he was grateful. He headed outside and down the street in the direction Lillian had sent him.
He only waited about thirty minutes before the doctor could fit him in. She came into the exam room and welcomed him. “Hi, I’m Dr. Harden.”
“David Quinn.”
“I see from your health form you filled out you’ve recently had cancer but you’re in remission.”
“Well, that’s the problem…”
She looked at him. “Oh?”
He told her his symptoms and she did a quick exam. “I really don’t think you should get worried yet. Let me run some tests. When I get the results, I’ll consult with your doctor back in Kansas City. Then we’ll proceed from there. How does that sound?”
He nodded. It didn’t sound great, but at least he’d still be here if Ruby needed him.
He left the doctor’s office and ran into Charlotte as he walked out of the door.
“Hey, David.” Charlotte smiled at him. Easy for her. She wasn’t waiting on test results. Results that could say his cancer was back.
He shook his head at his crazy thoughts. “Hello, Charlotte.” He pasted on what he hoped was a friendly smile.
“You okay?” She nodded at Dr. Harden’s office.
“Yes, just a little bug.” Liar, liar pants on fire. He wanted to stomp his ridiculous thoughts into the ground. Along with the cancer. Along with his anger of the unknown.
“Oh, well, I hope you feel better soon.”
“Thanks.” He turned and walked away, unwilling to carry on any more small talk and hoping he hadn’t offended her. He wandered the streets of Belle Island and entered a few shops, not really looking at anything in particular, but not wanting to go back to his room and be alone with his thoughts.
Not that his thoughts left him alone while he shopped, either.
He finally gave up and headed back to the inn. He ordered a drink and went to sit out on the deck and watch the waves, the birds, and happy couples walking on the beach. Happy couples with no cares and no fear of cancer returning.
He finished the drink and went to walk on the beach, hoping that would clear away his glum mood. He walked in the opposite direction of Ruby’s house this time. She had said she wanted to be alone, and he respected that.
He got tired and stopped and sat on the sand, watching the waves. His mind careened around from thought to thought, whirling in a tumultuous twirl of chaos.
And finally, the guilt and the thought he’d been trying to avoid caught up with him.
What was he doing getting close to Ruby?
He’d had cancer, for Pete’s sake. It could reoccur at any time. Maybe it already had.
She’d already had great loss in her life. He’d seen the raw pain on her face today while she was still dealing with the death of her husband. He had no business bringing his shaky life into hers. She’d lost a husband. She didn’t need to date a man with cancer. And he didn’t want to tell her he’d had it. He couldn’t stand the sympathy looks. Nor did she need to know his wife left him when he was diagnosed. His wife couldn’t deal with it. Or him.
What if he did tell Ruby and she couldn’t deal with it either and decided to call it quits? It was better for him to end i
t now.
Especially now that he had these symptoms…
He should do the right thing and leave. Go back to Kansas City. If he was sick again, Ruby didn’t need to watch him go through it. Or worse… watch him die.
Death.
That thought was always in the back of his mind.
Even when he tried to hide from it. Even when he tried to ignore it. It was there. Always.
He’d thought he needed to stay here for Ruby. But he didn’t. She had lots of support. She had her son, Ben. She had her Yarn Society friends, especially Lillian.
It was a hard fact to face. He should leave for Ruby’s sake. Because even if this time the symptoms weren’t a return of his cancer, the next time they could be.
She didn’t deserve having a man who didn’t know if he had a future.
He slowly climbed to his feet and took a last look at the sea, saying goodbye. He’d go back to the inn right now and search for a flight back home. It was for the best. It really was.
But it was breaking his heart to do so.
Chapter 21
Charlotte walked up to her bungalow after a morning of errands. She was anxious to get back to painting. She frowned when she thought of David Quinn leaving Dr. Harden’s office. He’d looked pretty upset for a man who just had a bug. He’d had deep worry lines etched into his face and the saddest look in his eyes.
She paused at the door and looked down at the box there. It had her name on it, and she recognized Ben’s handwriting.
Another present.
She carried it inside and carefully sliced the box open. She reached inside and gasped. It was a lovely carved blue heron from Paul’s art gallery. The one the local artist had displayed in the local artist show awhile back.
Ben must have remembered her remarking on how much she loved it. She loved the lines of it and the smooth, hand-rubbed wood.
