Lucas was silent.
Elle forced herself further into the nightmare. ‘I had no choice then but to tell my parents Ricky had left. Our relationship deteriorated further when they didn’t have a word of support for me. Just all the “We told you so!” guff I’d been afraid of. So I didn’t tell them about the police being after Ricky. It was just too ...’ She paused. Swallowed. ‘Bettsbrough’s a small town. If word had got out that the police were looking for Ricky it would have made the nightmare worse. When my company moved to larger premises in Northampton, I went too.’
She tried to smile at Lucas, but her bottom lip shook. ‘I settled there and I’d got a promotion along with the relocation. Ricky seemed to have disappeared from my life and I chalked the whole thing up as a horrible experience. I met you. Everything was going wonderfully.
‘Too wonderfully.’ She stopped to turn her gaze deliberately to the lawyer and the magistrate. ‘This scruffy guy in a baseball cap and a hoodie approached me one day outside my office, begging for change. It was like my worst nightmare when I realised it was Ricky.’ She looked around at each of her audience in turn. Fiona and Geoffrey wore matching sceptical expressions. Lucas was beginning to look as if he was watching a road crash.
She sighed. ‘I’d done something incredibly stupid. I’d updated my Facebook profile. Northampton was listed as where I was living and as I was still working for the same company it didn’t take him long to find me. He just hung around outside the building. He wanted money, of course. He looked at my suits and my car and he saw where he could get it.’
Meeting Lucas’s gaze was getting harder and harder, not because she knew herself to be guilty of anything worse than gullibility and panic, but because his eyes weren’t telling her that he understood that she was innocent. ‘That’s why I began behaving oddly,’ she whispered. ‘He threatened to tell you exactly what he’s told your mother. That I was the one who had practised deception and fraud and everything, and he’d been blamed. He’d been living in Spain, like some big-shot criminal, because he knew someone there with a bar. Till he fell out with the friend; then he came back to the UK.’
Fiona made a noise that might have been a tut of disbelief.
At that tiny, scornful noise, hope began to shrivel inside of Elle. ‘If we’d had a big wedding, he would’ve turned up. He knows how to sniff out information. That’s why I wanted to go to Vegas and get married,’ she explained, dully. ‘I thought it would halt his plans. I must admit I didn’t credit him with enough tenacity to walk into a lawyer’s office and try and blackmail her.’
Bitterly, Elle laughed. ‘In a way, you were right to be suspicious of the man you saw me talking to outside work. That was Ricky. He’d cleaned himself up but came by regularly to threaten me with exposure, with implicating me in his crimes. I couldn’t see a way out. When you went off in your jealous rage, I didn’t argue when you said we were over. At least that way, I thought, Ricky would leave you and your family alone. Turns out I was wrong.’
A long silence followed her last words. Elle stared at the tabletop where the beer she hadn’t touched was leaving a condensation ring.
Finally, Lucas stirred. He sounded dazed. ‘I can’t get my head around this. I thought it was something to do with me not proposing properly.’
Elle turned to stare at him, thrown by this change of direction. ‘Not what?’
‘When I suggested we get married. I thought I hadn’t made it sound important enough. Just blurted out that it would be better if we got married if we were going to America.’
‘Oh.’ Elle tried to force her mind back. ‘I suppose it was pretty ordinary. But I was probably distracted by the knowledge that the wedding would be a target, a reason for me to be threatened and coerced.’
He winced. ‘Why didn’t you tell me when it was happening?’
Elle smiled, though she saw his firm jaw and satin hair only through a haze of tears. ‘Because I didn’t think you’d believe me.’
‘You didn’t trust me to.’ His voice was hoarse.
She had no energy left for diplomacy. She shook her head. ‘Your parents hated me. They didn’t try to hide that they’d expected better for their son than a silly girl who’d been married and divorced young, and no high-status contacts to counterbalance her naivety. You’re very much their son. Judgemental. Sure of what’s right and what’s wrong. Intolerant of mistakes. So, no, I didn’t trust you to believe in me. Not then.’ A lone tear tracked down her cheek. ‘I started to tell you once we’d—’ She glanced at Fiona and Geoffrey. Fiona looked pale. ‘But you told me you didn’t need to know, so long as I’d never cheated on you. And I thought that I was safe, that Ricky didn’t know where I was and couldn’t hurt me any more.’
Lucas opened his mouth.
But Elle’s phone began to ring. She slipped it from the front pocket of her dress to press ‘Decline’. Then she saw The Briars on the screen. Her finger hovered. She pressed ‘Answer’ instead.
Lucas could hardly believe what he’d been hearing. Fury that Elle hadn’t simply come to him with the truth four years ago warred with shame that she hadn’t felt able to trust him with her fears and fragility. Threatened by that shit of an ex-husband she had borne it all alone, searching for ways out of trouble. She was that scared of disapproval.
His heart contracted that she’d been so unhappy that she’d barely noticed his proposal had been “pretty ordinary”. She had deserved so much better.
He glanced at his parents. His dad’s expression wasn’t betraying much, as usual, but his mum looked disbelieving. He’d seen that look a million times. Fearsome Fiona had made up her mind. He wondered if that was the expression Elle sometimes saw on his face. Cold guilt curled in his stomach as he remembered Fiona referring to Elle as ‘that sort of girl’, and that he’d never asked her not to. He’d simply expected that his parents’ misgivings would fade if he went ahead with his relationship, letting his actions speak louder than words.
He hadn’t wanted to hurt them with a row.
Instead, he’d hurt Elle by not having one.
Elle’s eyes were pink around the edges, now, as she listened to whoever was on the phone. He’d been so engrossed in his churning thoughts that he hadn’t been paying attention to the few words she’d uttered as her part of the conversation. But he snapped back to the present as she prepared to ring off.
‘Thank you for letting me know. I understand. Leave it with me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’ She ended the call and posted the phone back into her pocket. Her face was white under her freckles but she seemed composed. ‘That was Nerys at The Briars. They can’t have Mum back under the level of care we’ve been paying for. I need to establish whether they can care for her with her new needs or if I have to find somewhere else.’
Lucas immediately thrust his anger and confusion aside. Or maybe he was glad of a reason to reach for her.
But she shrank from his arms. ‘No, don’t. Not just out of pity because you think something’s going wrong for me. Mum’s care’s too hard to try and organise from here. I’m going back to England.’
Lucas could hardly believe his ears. ‘England?’ he repeated, idiotically.
Elle was already moving to extricate herself from the sofa. She went on in the same colourless voice. ‘It’s best. It’ll give you plenty of time to think. And I need space, too. A lot of it.’
Hardly knowing what he was doing, Lucas stood up to allow her out from behind the table.
Her smile twisted and her eyes were full of tears as she gripped his hand hard between both of hers. ‘Do you remember me saying I learned from my parents never to own up? I’m glad you didn’t let me when I tried to. At least, this way, we’ve had this time.’
She turned to Fiona. ‘Sorry Ricky tried it on with you. I can imagine that you must have felt vindicated, that you’d been right to be suspi
cious of me.’ She let a pause draw out. ‘I did think that you lawyers usually go on evidence and that pesky “innocent until proven guilty” thing. But don’t worry, I’m not going to fight you. I wouldn’t try and get Lucas to throw away parents that show their love this much.’
Neither parent seemed to have an answer. It was Lucas who found his voice, to say, ‘That’s pretty magnanimous of you, in the circumstances.’
Elle groaned in frustration, her blue eyes suddenly on fire. ‘I’m not being magnanimous! I’m being bitter. Like most things, it’s not as black and white as you make it. Your family, you live by different rules. There are a few concepts you guys need to learn about, like compromise, valuing people for what they are, there being more than one way to look at things. People being normal, imperfect human beings.’
She turned and left the saloon, slipping out through the sliding doors like a dream vanishing at dawn.
Shock giving sudden power to his legs, Lucas started after her. ‘Elle—!’
He gained the cockpit in time to see her picking up pace along the quayside. Her voice floated back to him. ‘Give me space, Lucas. I really need it.’ Defeat was in the droop of her shoulders and the angle of her head.
Shock and lack of sleep took the power from his legs and he dropped down on the cockpit seat to watch her go until other boats obscured his line of sight. Now he knew what truths had been balanced on her lips that night he’d resolved to put the past behind them, and why she’d stayed silent. He was both ashamed and grateful.
A hand landed softly on his shoulder and his mother said, ‘It might be for the best.’
He shook her off. ‘Not for me.’ Then, strength returning to his limbs, he jumped up and off the boat, hitting the ground running, focused only on catching up with Elle.
At the foot of Seadancer’s gangplank, though, he hesitated. It wasn’t that he was shy about disregarding etiquette and barging his way onto someone else’s boat but that he was suddenly convinced that it was the wrong thing. Racing along the quayside, dodging mooring lines and fishermen and a motor scooter delivering pizzas, he’d formulated flash plans of helping her pack, booking her flight, calling her a taxi, seeing her to the airport. Even packing a bag and going with her back to England, though he knew Vern would take a very dim view.
Give me space. Her voice rang in his head, filled with frustration and disillusion.
He snatched out his phone and sent her a text. Can I help? What do you want me to do?
The reply came in seconds. No, thanks. I don’t want you to do anything.
He glared at his phone screen. That wasn’t the answer he’d wanted.
He hit ‘Reply’ and his thumb hovered over the keys. So, what was he going to do – insist? Disregard her wishes? Demand assurances of her return? Eventually, he texted a kiss, waited, and then turned away and trailed back to the Shady Lady. He jumped back on board.
In the saloon, his parents had freshened their gin and tonics. ‘Kayleigh’s asked us if we’d like to meet her for dinner,’ said Fiona, tentatively. ‘I think she’s feeling the shock now the drama’s over and would appreciate our support.’
Lucas drifted to a stop. ‘I expect she would.’
Under his steady regard, Fiona flushed. ‘That wasn’t very tactful, was it? I suppose you’re wondering why we never showed any support for Elle?’
‘No,’ he said, heavily, ‘I know why you didn’t. She’s made mistakes. Mistakes don’t sit well with you.’ Then his conscience made him add, ‘Or with me. She couldn’t trust me to trust in her.’
He began to walk by, intending to swipe a couple of beers out of the galley and shut himself in the guest cabin to wrestle with the giant sensation of “what just happened?” But he turned back. ‘Just for the record, Charlie made a pretty big mistake last night. His injuries are down only to his own reckless stupidity. But everybody always forgives Charlie just because he’s Charlie. Charlie was an idiot, Kayleigh went to pieces but Elle raced around, getting help, helping me get Charlie out of a sticky situation alive and without lasting damage. And the reason that Elle’s going to England tonight is that her mother needs help. Joanna’s been sanctimonious and unsupportive but still Elle supports her financially and practically.’
Geoffrey cleared his throat.
Fiona said, ‘I see.’
‘Did either of you thank Elle for helping save Charlie’s stupid fucking neck?’
His parents exchanged glances. ‘No,’ acknowledged Geoffrey, stiffly.
Lucas sat down, dropping his head into his hands. ‘I’m not sure whether I did, either.’ He rubbed at a headache that he hadn’t realised he’d been nursing, thinking dully what a fantastic idea it would have been to cast off Simon’s boat a few days ago and carry Elle away in it, somewhere Charlie’s stupid antics couldn’t bring his parents down on them, bearing their righteous judgement of Elle’s past like a flaming cross. Somewhere there would be no phone calls to remind Elle of her responsibilities and burdens.
Somewhere mistakes could be forgotten.
He wished Elle had let him help.
The thought jolted him out of his pity party and got him back to his feet. ‘Right, let’s go and have dinner with Kayleigh.’
Instantly, his parents looked relieved, probably misreading his sudden positivity as a good thing.
He checked his phone. Elle still hadn’t sent him a kiss back.
He prepared to leave the boat, flicking off the isolation switches and locking the sliding doors behind his parents. Darkness was falling and the cicadas whirred and zuzzed in the gardens as the family filed over the plank to the shore and turned right, ready to walk along the promenade towards the Sea Creek Hotel.
Then he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a small shadow hovering. ‘Carmelo?’
Carmelo emerged. Apart from his shy smile, he didn’t look at his best. His T-shirt was grubby and his hair unbrushed. He scampered up to Lucas with his palm upraised for their customary high five. ‘Elle is here? I want to tell her about following Formula 1 drivers on Twitter.’
If Lucas hadn’t been so tired and preoccupied he would have guarded his tongue. Instead, aware of his parents’ gazes on Carmelo, he said, ‘She’s on her way back to England.’
In slow motion, Carmelo’s face began to crumple. ‘No! She didn’t say that to me!’ Two huge tears welled from his big brown eyes.
Hastily, Lucas hunkered down beside him. ‘Sorry, I was a bit blunt. She’s only going for a few days. She’s not going forever.’ He hoped. ‘It’s just that she has to see her mother. She got a phone call to say that her mum needs her help because she’s ill.’ He glanced along the quayside in the direction of Seadancer, wishing he could see what was happening on board, whether Elle was still packing or whether she was already in a taxi en route to Malta International Airport.
The tears made tracks down Carmelo’s cheeks. Apparently unconsoled, his mouth squared off as he began to heave with sobs. ‘She didn’t tell me!’ he wailed.
Lucas had to spend several minutes reassuring him, begging tissues from Fiona, who could be relied upon to have a supply. ‘Sorry, but she didn’t have time to tell you,’ he said, guiltily, wishing he had Joseph’s number. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’ It was a good fifteen minutes before Carmelo seemed reassured enough to leave, with a few last looks behind Lucas as if willing Elle to appear from somewhere on the Shady Lady. He nodded glumly when Lucas asked him if he’d be OK walking home.
Finally, Lucas was free to escort his parents, crossing the gardens and the road and turning in the direction of the hotel. ‘That little boy’s crazy about Elle,’ he observed, in case they hadn’t got that. ‘He’s one of the kids from the youth centre where she volunteers. Nice kid. Needs a few friends.’
Fiona sounded sombre. ‘He looks as if he needs someone to take care of him.’
‘True. It’s not always easy to know how to help, though.’ And he told them about how Elle had had to call Joseph when Carmelo turned up late at night, and the Bubblemaker session that Dive Meddi had put on, which led him nicely into finding Kayleigh waiting at a table outside the Sea Creek Hotel and suggesting that she told his parents all about what had happened when Charlie fell off the boat.
By the time Kayleigh had said, ‘Elle was fantastic,’ for about the tenth time, leaving little option but for his parents to acknowledge Elle’s part in the rescue of their irresponsible youngest son, he was sufficiently satisfied to let the conversation move on to other things while he tucked into seafood pasta and a welcome pint of golden Cisk.
He let the others decide who would visit Charlie tomorrow afternoon, so tired that the lights reflecting in the blackness of the creek were dancing in front of his eyes. He had just one thing left to do before he could crash out for the night.
Lucas waited until goodbyes had been said to Kayleigh and he and his parents were strolling back to the marina through the soft evening. ‘Do you know Simon’s friends, Loz and Davie?’ he began, casually. ‘Davie’s a music producer. They have a motor yacht at the big-boat end of the marina.’
Fiona looked interested. ‘Simon’s mentioned them, but I don’t think we’ve met.’
‘Let’s see if they’re on board. I’ll introduce you.’ Resolutely, Lucas passed the Shady Lady and his yearned-for bed, leading his parents around the curve of the quayside until he could see, with a thump of gladness, the lights on Seadancer’s foredeck.
‘Hello, Seadancer!’ Lucas called. He couldn’t quite bring himself to use the supposedly approved ‘Ahoy’.
Loz appeared on the side deck in moments. ‘Lucas! Did you know—’
‘My parents are here,’ he interrupted quickly. ‘They’d like to meet you.’
‘Come aboard!’ Loz needed no further prompting into full hostess mode, insisting Fiona and Geoffrey join them in a nightcap on the foredeck, where the doors were open to the saloon and moths battered gently at the deck lights. As soon as her guests had been introduced to Davie and were settled on directors’ chairs clutching brandy balloons and Charlie’s progress enquired after, Loz fixed Lucas with a beady stare.
The Wedding Proposal Page 26
