by James Maxey
“How did your skin get to be so tough?”
“You aren’t supposed to ask stuff like that in Commonground,” said Infidel.
“I’m not sure there is a Commonground anymore,” said Aurora, glancing back out over the bay.
“Fair enough.” Infidel dug into the bag and found the coconut. She cracked it in her bare hands, holding the nut to her lips as the milk began to run out. She gulped down the pale white fluid then wiped her mouth, sitting the coconut aside as she dug back into the bag, pulling out a slender plank of purple meat as long as her forearm.
“Whale jerky, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Even in a city by the bay, there aren’t that many people who keep harpoons in their room.”
Aurora nodded. “Whales are central to life on Qikiqtabruk. We eat their flesh, drink their blood, make cheese from their milk-”
“What?”
“What what?”
“Milk? Whales are fish. They don’t have teats. How can they have milk?”
“Whales aren’t fish. They breathe air like you or me. And, they suckle their young on milk. If you kill a mother whale while she’s still nursing, you can harvest barrels of cream. The cheese we make from it is a great delicacy. As high priestess, I would always be given the first batch after a hunt.”
“High priestess sounds like nice work if you can get it,” said Infidel. “I take it the Jagged Heart was used on the whale hunts?”
“Indirectly. Before each hunt, I would summon the ghosts of whales we’d slain on the previous hunt, and vanquish the spirits so that they couldn’t do evil against the ogres going out to hunt. The spirit meat was also essential provision for the dead of our people on their journey into the Great Sea Above. The Jagged Heart also had the power to open a pathway into the afterlife where I could commune with our ancestors. Its pale light would guide us as we sailed from the dragon’s jaws into the Great Sea Above.”
Infidel rolled her eyes.
“What?” asked Aurora.
“Nothing,” she said, as she chomped down on the sheet of meat and tore off a mouthful. She chewed with her mouth open as she said, “Hmm. Not bad. Not fishy at all. I hope you got the spirit of this one; I’d hate for an angry whale ghost to give me indigestion.”
Aurora frowned. “You aren’t terribly respectful of other people’s beliefs.”
Infidel shrugged. “I’m not even terribly respectful of my own beliefs. Anyway, why should you care what people think of your religion? It certainly didn’t do you much good. Banished by your own people for losing a harpoon.”
Aurora’s eyes narrowed. I thought she was about to scold Infidel, but then her expression softened. “I wasn’t banished. I was executed. I was wrapped in chains and taken to an iceberg. My people chiseled a hole in the ice, then buried me in it. My own brother, Tarpok, filled the hole with water so that it would refreeze. Cold cannot harm me, and my people can survive for days without breathing if we do not struggle. Still, I was left to drift in my frozen tomb, completely trapped, doomed to eventually suffocate or starve.”
“But you obviously escaped.”
“The Black Swan rescued me. I don’t know if it was by pure chance, or due to her ability to travel back in time, but she found me after I’d been adrift for little more than a week. I was near death when she freed me. I had no will to live, but she nursed me back to health anyway. She told me that, since I was dead to my people, I could make a new life with her in Commonground. I hope she’s survived.
“I searched the ruins of the barge and found no sign of her. I don’t know what to do if she’s gone forever.”
“She’ll be okay. She strikes me as a survivor,” said Infidel, who by now had found the sea beans. Sea beans aren’t actual beans; they’re a puffy weed that grows in marshes. They taste like asparagus soaked in saltwater. They make my mouth pucker, but Infidel likes their crisp snap. “You were going to quit working for the Black Swan anyway. What do you care?”
“As priestess, my whole life was devoted to serving others. Without service, I have no purpose. I didn’t always approve of the Black Swan’s actions. If she had any greater goal for her life other than accumulating wealth, I never learned of it. Yet, serving her gave structure to my days. I know I was only another employee to her, but she was my world.”
Infidel rooted around in the sack once again and pulled out a jug with a cork in it, looking at it skeptically. “What’s this?”
“Fresh water,” said Aurora. “I don’t drink spirits.”
Infidel popped the cork and chugged down several cupfuls. “Mmm. I needed that. After a big fight, I’m always thirsty for days.”
“It must take a lot of energy, to do the things you do,” said Aurora. “There aren’t many people who can say they’ve killed a dragon.”
Infidel shrugged. “Yeah. It takes a lot out of me. But, not as much as you might think. My strength is more magic than muscles.”
“What is the source of your magic?” asked Aurora.
Infidel stared at her, obviously annoyed by the question. Then, to my surprise, she flashed her what-the-hell grin. “Okay,” she said. “You know that there used to be a primal dragon of the forest named Verdant. He was killed, like, a thousand years ago by the first Knight of the Book, the original King Brightmoon.”
Aurora nodded. “I’m familiar with the legend.”
“It’s not legend, it’s history,” said Infidel. “Brightmoon killed Verdant, who had been weakened by the decimation of the forests near his lair. The blood of the beast was drained and dried, forming a dark green powder. A gilded casket of this blood was kept at the Brightmoon Cathedral. When Knights of the Book are initiated, they’re given a spoonful of the stuff, dissolved in wine. It grants them a small measure of the dragon’s strength and toughness.”
“Blood magic,” said Aurora. “I thought the church disapproved of such things.”
“The Church is just a wealth of contradictions,” said Infidel. “They preach peace, then raise armies of violent tempered men to impose it. They sing the virtues of forgiveness and mercy, but build torture chambers to focus the faith of those who’ve gone astray. Dabbling in blood magic is a sin for you and me, but priests don’t have to play by the same rules. Since they decree what is and isn’t a sin, a priest could eat babies and pick his teeth with the bones and still be praised for his rectitude.”
“I’m starting to see how you earned the name ‘Infidel.’”
Infidel shook her head. “The church doesn’t give a damn about my opinions. It’s my actions that put me on the naughty list. When I was fifteen, I stole their casket of dragon blood. Knights had been gobbling down this stuff for centuries, so it was almost gone, but there was still about a pound of it caked up in the corners. I went at it with my fingernails and polished off everything that was left. At first, I didn’t think anything had happened to me. When the priest came to get me from the inner sanctum, he found me crouched down over the empty casket, blood caked around my lips and under my finger nails. The sleeves of my wedding gown were green with — ”
“Wait,” said Aurora, holding up her hand. “Wedding gown? Is this part of the story about you once being engaged to Lord Tower?”
Infidel pressed her lips tightly together, as if contemplating whether to say more. After several long seconds, she said, “Engaged isn’t the right word. It implies that he asked me to marry him and I said yes. The truth isn’t so pretty. I was sold to him.”
Aurora raised her eyebrows.
“My birth name was Innocent Brightmoon. I was the king’s third daughter, but the first to survive to breeding age.”
“A princess,” said Aurora.
“It’s not as good a job as it sounds,” said Infidel. “‘Princess’ is just a fancy label for a high-priced slave-whore. My wedding to the firstborn male heir of the Tower family had been arranged before I was born. The Towers were immensely wealthy; there were all sorts of political and economic reasons that the Tower and Brightmoon lin
es were fated to mingle. My father had decided that his first eligible daughter would marry the first eligible son of the Tower family, and that was that. No one ever asked my opinion on the matter.”
“Still…” said Aurora. “You were born into luxury. Life couldn’t have been all bad.”
“Couldn’t it?” Infidel asked. She sighed. “I guess, from the outside, it looked like I was living a life of wealth. But, it wasn’t my wealth, or my life. I was little more than a doll, a pretty thing to be dressed in gowns and decorate my father’s court. I was never allowed to make a single decision. I lived in a palace where court dinners were held, with meals literally fit for a king, and all I’d be given to eat would be a meager salad. I wasn’t allowed to taste dessert because my wedding gown had been designed before I was even conceived, and it was important that my waist be slender enough that I might get mistaken for a wasp. I never wore shackles, but I was a prisoner all the same.”
Aurora nodded. “So you decided to run away.”
“I wish I could say my actions were that deliberate. My education, such as it was, didn’t teach me much about making good choices. When my wedding day finally came, I could barely think. I felt like a caged rat; my mind was darting all over the place, looking for any escape, but I found nothing.”
“You must have really hated the young Lord Tower.”
Infidel made a gagging noise. “Hated doesn’t begin to cover it. He’s such a sanctimonious idiot; he can’t fart without running to the nearest priest to offer repentance. He believes every lie the church has ever crafted. You wouldn’t believe his awkward, ritualistic attempts to court me. I could tell he really had no choice in this matter either. If he’d been a little rebellious about it, who knows? Maybe I might have liked him. I mean, he was good-looking, and he was always winning jousting tournaments, so he wasn’t without a certain physical charm. But, his attempts to write love poems were cringe inducing. They sounded like sermons! ‘Praise the creator who this day has blessed me with the bounty of your chaste lips, blah blah bluhhh.’” She stuck out her tongue. “We never even held hands.”
Somehow, my ghost heart felt lighter to learn this. Since hearing she’d been engaged to Lord Tower, I’d assumed that she must have loved him once. I was jealous, though, obviously, there was no rational basis for this. I found myself annoyed that she was spilling her guts so freely to Aurora. I’d been her closest companion for ages. Why had she never shared this with me? Worse, why had I never had the courage to ask?
Infidel continued her story, “Anyway, it was my wedding day. There’s this ten minute ritual before the ceremony where the bride goes to the inner sanctum to pray in private; there’s not even a priest present. The inner sanctum was where they kept the casket of dragon blood. The second the priest closed the door, my eyes fixed on it. It was locked, but it was also a thousand freakin’ years old. I had it cracked open in about thirty seconds. And, like I said, when the high priest came back into the sanctuary, I was coated in the stuff. I’d gobbled it down like it was all the ice cream and cake that I’d been denied since I was a toddler.”
Aurora chuckled softly. “You must have been a sight in your bloodied gown.”
“To this day, I still don’t like wearing green,” said Infidel, with a small shudder. “I get bad flashbacks of looking down at the green coating my arms. The priest stared at me for about half a minute, just dumbfounded, then clenched his fists and came at me, shouting, ‘What have you done? What have you done?’ Even though I’d never hit anyone in my life, I gave him a backhanded slap to shut him up. And… um… and… and his face sort of caved in. After that, I kind of… I kind of snapped. I launched out of the inner sanctum and tore through anyone in my way. I jumped out a stained glass window and kept running. I killed… I killed a lot of people on my way out of town. There might have been a puppy that got squished as well. I… my memory’s fuzzy, and I don’t like to think about it anyway. I was completely drunk on the blood. It’s one reason I seldom drink now. I don’t like feeling out-of-control. Anyway, long story short, I wandered around the islands for a couple of years getting my head straight before winding up in Commonground. It’s been a while since any of the church’s assassins came after me, but I’m guessing I’m still public enemy number one.”
“Which makes it strange that you want to sign on to the king’s dragon hunt,” said Aurora. “Won’t Tower recognize you?”
Infidel shrugged. “Who knows? I was just a girl back then. I have boobs now.” She ran her hands along her ruined hair. “And, you know, a different haircut.”
“Father Ver is with him,” said Aurora.
Infidel pressed her lips together tightly. If I’d still had arms, I would have hugged her to console her. I knew what she was thinking. A few extra curves and a dragon-induced haircut weren’t going to fool the church’s best Truthspeaker. I had personal experience with Father Ver’s powers. Infidel was screwed.
“Why do you want to go on this quest anyway?” asked Aurora. “It can’t be the treasure. You’ve never been obsessed with money.”
Infidel drew her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her arms as she stared out over the dark bay. Boat lanterns twinkled like stars across the water.
“Maybe I’m tired,” she whispered.
“Maybe?”
“Screw it,” she said, raising her chin. “I am tired. I mean, I’ve had fun. Stagger led me on some wild adventures. I’ve had experiences I couldn’t even imagine when I was fifteen. My life hasn’t been boring. But…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head.
“But?”
“But maybe I’d like boring.” She took a deep, weary breath. “Maybe I’d enjoy sleeping in a real bed at night, and wearing clean clothes every day. Maybe I’d like to walk down a street where I’m not looking over my shoulder wondering who’s about to jump me with a shadow blade. Maybe I’d like to meet a stranger and not instantly start thinking about how I’m going to kill him if things turn ugly. Maybe thirty-year-old Infidel doesn’t want to live her life trapped by choices made by fifteen-year-old Innocent.”
Her eyes were narrowed as she spoke. She sounded so angry. I’d never suspected. What kind of friend had I been that I’d missed this?
She finally relaxed, and said, softly, “The closest I ever came to feeling normal was when I hung out with Stagger. This is… this is crazy. But I used to imagine me and him getting out of here, finding some little village where no one knew who the hell we were, and settling down. Maybe find a little peace and quiet and normal.”
I’d dreamed that too. Why hadn’t I told her?
“Why didn’t you tell him?” asked Aurora.
“We… we…” She cradled her head in her hands. Her voice cracked as she said, “There are things that are wrong with me.”
“Stagger was wild about you. You have a crazy streak, sure, but anyone could see that he loved you.”
Infidel closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She looked as sad as when she’d sat at my grave. She was silent for a long time. Finally, she relaxed her hands, and sniffed. She whispered, “Normal couples can… they can do stuff. Intimate stuff. And I wanted that. I wanted that so badly.”
I wanted that! I wanted that so much it hurt. Why didn’t I have the courage to tell her? If I’d still had lungs, I would have cursed the sky for my cowardice.
“I’m guessing Stagger would have been okay with, um, intimacy,” said Aurora, with what might have been a grin, though her tusks made it hard to tell.
Infidel shuddered. “My strength makes touching things tricky. I try to slap a man, and I smash his face in. It took me years to learn to pick up a glass without breaking it. I’m more dangerous than people know.”
“You seem to have it under control.”
“I could have held his hand without crushing it, sure. Maybe even kissed him without breaking his teeth. But… but all my muscles are supernaturally powerful. Even ones… even ones I don’t always have full control over.”
> “Oh,” said Aurora. Then, she said, “Ooooh,” in a way that made it clear she understood what Infidel was getting at.
Suddenly, I understood as well. Ordinary coupling could have left me maimed and mangled, if not outright dead.
“So…” said Aurora. “You’re a thirty-year-old virgin.”
Infidel shrugged. “I’ll die one, I guess. I’m never going to know anything like love. But, at least when I hung out with Stagger, I felt… I felt happy.”
I’d been happy too. And, even with my fantasies of shared sexual bliss crushed by Infidel’s physical realities, I still would gladly have gone with her to that quiet little village and lived out my days beside her. I’d loved her without even so much as a kiss for years. I could have accepted anything to make her happy.
“And now you’re unhappy,” said Aurora. “So what? The plan is to go get yourself killed by Greatshadow?”
“No,” said Infidel, sounding deadly serious. “The plan is to go get myself rich. Not pirate booty rich, not ancient artifact rich, but filthy, filthy, filthy rich. Because if there’s one thing I learned growing up in my father’s court, it’s that if you’re filthy rich everyone will bend over backwards to tell you you’re clean. If I show up in my father’s court with sole possession of Greatshadow’s treasure, I’m confident I’ll have a full pardon in my hands inside of ten minutes. The church might not be happy about this, but I’m betting after I donate funds to build a few new cathedrals, they’ll come around. I’ll be rich with my own money, not my father’s. I’ll be free to live where and how I wish. I’ll have my own palace with silk sheets on a bed so fluffy you’d think it’s stuffed with clouds. Every day I’ll take a hot bath while musicians serenade me and I’ll get out of the water and put on clean freakin’ underwear. And when I walk into my own damn dining room, people are going to run up to me with trays full of goddamn cake!”
Aurora nodded slowly, contemplating the dream. “And this is going to make you happy?”
