“There will be no fornicating without marriage in this house,” Gran yells out.
“Then I’ll tell Will Brewster not to come over, Mom,” my own mother says.
We make it to my room, and once we’re there, I don’t know what to do. I close the door and stand there looking at him.
He looks around and, again, I’m struck by his appearance. He looks tired. No, beyond tired. He looks as if he hasn’t slept in days. But, God, he’s beautiful. So beautiful it almost hurts to look at him.
“Did your mother just threaten to cut off your grandmother’s booty call?” he asks, humor lacing his voice.
“Yeah.”
“Your family is fantastic,” he says, and something loosens in my chest. It’s almost as if the ice around my heart is cracking open like one of those massive glaciers.
“They’re fucking nuts.” Then nothing. We just stand there staring at each other. “Should we talk about what happened between us?”
He shakes his head and that makes me sad. Is he here just as a friend?
“Oh,” I say, unable to hide my disappointment.
“No,” he says striding over to me. “I don’t think this is the time or the place, EJ. You’re vulnerable right now.”
I frown.
“Oh, give it up, EJ. You’re tired and stressed and, even if you don’t like your father, this is a sad moment for everyone involved.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
I know this is an important step. I told him a little bit about my family, but I’ve held back a lot of the most horrible stuff.
“I do, but why don’t you get comfortable because this isn’t going to be an easy story.”
He nods and cups my face, leaning down to brush his mouth over mine. The kiss is sweet…just a tender touch, but in that, I almost lose it. Tears threaten to fall again, but I push them away—barely. I pull back and stare into his eyes.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask.
“For letting me come in. I didn’t know if you would. And…well, I really didn’t want to find a hotel for the night.”
“But you would have?”
He nods. “You need me here so I would do it.”
“You’re welcome.”
He smiles. Then he grabs his suitcase, rifling through it until he finds something to wear. “Do you mind if I jump in the shower? I feel like I have plane scum on me.”
I nod, then, he shuts the bathroom door and I almost collapse. God, I needed him. I was afraid to even text him after our big fight…or whatever that was. But here he is, being the solid man that is his nature.
“Harry,” I call out. “I’m going to get some tea. Would you like some?”
“Thank you, that would be great.”
I hurry out of the room and down the stairs. As I’m setting the kettle on the burner, my mother comes into the kitchen. “So, Harry and you, huh?”
I look at her and try not to fidget. My mother knows I’m not a virgin. She taught me safe sex and told me that as a woman, I was in control of my orgasms. Seriously. I was seventeen and embarrassed as fuck, but she had wanted me to know that men should never be in control of my life. She learned the hard way.
“Well, sort of.”
She cocks her head and studies me. Lillibeth James is a mind reader. I was convinced of it when I was sixteen and she caught me sneaking back into the house after going out with my friends, and I still think it today.
“What’s that mean?”
“We had a big fight on Wednesday. We hadn’t talked by the time I left.”
“Ah,” she says as she retrieves a box of chamomile tea. She knows it’s my favorite at bedtime. “What was this fight about?”
I don’t want to make Harry the bad guy. He freaking flew across the country just to support me.
“Elliana James Morris—”
“That is not my name anymore.”
She sighs. “Tell me, sweetie.”
“I…he started talking about marriage and I freaked out. I mean, we had only been dating for a few weeks, and he acted like he wanted a commitment. Then, he freaked out and stormed out.”
“Why would you freak out?”
I narrow my eyes. “You know James women don’t have happy marriages.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“You…grandma. Even Great-grandma.”
“Are you saying you’ve been walking around for thirty years thinking that you aren’t getting married?”
“Not thirty. Just…”
I see that she understands. Since my dad walked out.
“Oh, Elliana, don’t let that bastard color your view of marriage.”
“It’s not marriage. It’s our taste in men.”
“Yeah, that’s true, but you’re different than grandma and me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never had your confidence. From the moment you were born, you demanded attention. Not in an annoying way. Just…you do draw the eye. I was so happy when you grew into this confident woman, and I was looking forward to maybe you getting married one day. Although, both of us know that to be happy in life, marriage is not always the answer.”
“Exactly.”
“I said it’s not always the answer. But sometimes it is.”
“What are you saying?”
“That man loves you, baby. He flew across country in the middle of the night just to be here for you. Don’t tell me that he doesn’t. And I think, from the look on your face, you love him too.”
“Love doesn’t last.”
“Bullshit.”
I can’t fight the giggle that bubbles up. Lillibeth James doesn’t cuss on a regular basis.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re letting fear rule your life. And I know where that comes from. Your father was a crappy husband and a crappier father. Don’t let that bastard rule your life now.”
Before I can answer, the kettle goes off making both of us jump, then we both giggle. I might have lost my father all those years ago, but I knew I would always have my mama. She’s my rock, the center of my universe. I know that no matter what, she always has my back. That’s why I dropped everything. Not for my father. For her.
I pour tea into the cups as Gran walks into the kitchen.
“Where’s the big stud?”
I roll my eyes. I know her reaction to him earlier was all for show. My Gran—even though she had a shitty marriage—loves men. Maybe a little too much.
“Taking a shower.”
“Ah. Why are you down here? You should be up there with him.”
I should be used to my Gran, but I’m not. My face flames.
“Stop trying to embarrass her, Mom,” my mother says.
“Just stating a fact. I want some great-grandchildren before I die. I expect you to give me them. We know Jon isn’t going to be able to do that.”
My one first cousin is gay and happily married.
“They’re talking about adopting,” I say.
“Stop changing the subject. Go get that man.”
“Mom, she doesn’t seem to need to get him. He flew across country. She has him.”
“Oh,” she says, looking me over. “Your mother’s right. You love him. He loves you. He will always have your back.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“Didn’t your mother say he flew across the country even though you had a big fight? And you didn’t ask him. He just came. So now, go up there. Your mother and I have a reunion episode to watch.”
I watch her turn and march back into the living room. “I have been summoned. Remember, sweetie, don’t let your father and his infidelities cause you problems in your life. You have so much love to offer. You sell it on a daily basis at Magnolia, and I know that you love romances. He’s who you’ve been waiting for.”
“How do you know that? How do any of us know that?”
>
She gives me a smile. “I saw the way you lit up when he showed up. There’s an energy between you, humming, and seriously, that man is a goner. I saw the way he was looking at you. I’m not saying to go marry him but to take a chance on happiness.”
Then she follows my grandmother into the living room. There was a tiny part of me that was telling me to run the opposite direction. But that was the old EJ. That was the woman I was before I let Harry into my bed…and into my heart. The woman I am now, she wants everything.
My heart trembles.
I do. I want it all, and with Harry of all people. I have tried to avoid control freaks. They get clingy. But Harry never did. Oh, we would be clingy with each other, but he respected my space.
With a sigh, I grab our mugs and decide it’s time to deal with Harry and see what happens.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I planned on rushing through my shower, but I find myself lingering. Truthfully, it’s hard to step out from beneath the hot water. My muscles ache from the trip and from the lack of sleep these past few days. But I feel energized. Seeing EJ has left me feeling as if I can take on the world. Of course, it’s because of the woman herself. I’ve felt as if a piece of me was missing.
Before the last few days, I knew I loved EJ, but I hadn’t realized the extent of my need for her. Sexual need is easy for me to deal with. I knew that my feelings went beyond that, but I just didn’t realize the depth. I need her like I need air. Trite but true. The moment I saw her standing on the other side of the door, it was as if my whole world had righted itself, and I was able to breathe freely again. The anxiety that had been dogging me every second of every day, dissolved in her presence.
I give myself a few more minutes under the scalding water, letting my muscles relax. Coach for a guy my size is never fun, but it had been a nightmare on the way to Charleston. When I feel the water start to cool, I turn it off and grab a big fluffy towel and start to dry myself off. As I’m hanging up the towel, I hear her footsteps approach the door.
“Are you almost done?” EJ asks.
“Yeah,” I say, slipping on some sleep shorts and forgoing my shirt. I’m still hot from my shower. I step out and find her sitting on a little couch that’s against the opposite wall. Her bedroom is huge and while it doesn’t look as crazy as my sister’s room in my parent’s house, it is evident this was EJ’s room in high school. There are pictures from her activities and other little mementoes; like the jewelry box that sits on the dresser and the hat and tassel from her high school graduation. There are a large number of people in the south who live in mansions like this one, but a fair amount of them aren’t in good condition. I know a house like this takes a good deal of maintenance, and some people just don’t have the money. Apparently, EJ’s family has the money. I know that she had used a trust to start her business, but that doesn’t mean her family was loaded. Now, I know they are from the looks of the house. It doesn’t matter to me or especially to EJ. Not from the way she acts anyway. It’s another reason I love her. She’s real. A former debutant who doesn’t put on airs.
“Come on,” she says, patting the sofa. I settle down and she offers me some tea. “It’s chamomile.”
“Thank you,” I say sipping it. I never really liked hot tea before, but lately I’ve been drinking it. Thanks to the woman beside me. We sit there for a few moments, sipping our tea. When she says nothing, I realize I’m going to have to move the conversation along. She might still be stunned that I showed up.
“So, tell me, love. What’s going on?” I ask.
She draws in a deep breath and releases it slowly. It’s as if she is gearing up for something horrible. I can feel the tension in the air between us, but I know it isn’t about our fight. It’s about the situation here, and all I want to do is fix all of it for her.
“You know my father had a stroke.”
I nod even though it isn’t a question. “Allison said it happened Thursday.”
“Yes. He didn’t exactly regain consciousness.”
There’s no real emotion in her voice, and from what Allison told me of that bastard, I don’t fault her. And this is EJ. She’s affectionate and, as Allison says, the best hugger. She never withholds her feelings, so I lay this at the feet of her father. He had to have been a bastard.
“So, what are the problems?”
She sighs. “He left my mother for his…I guess you could call her wife. They have two children but there’s a glitch in that.”
“A glitch?”
She sets her tea down on the table and rubs her temple. “My father never filed the paperwork for their divorce. Part of this is on my Mom and thank God my father isn’t in debt or my mother would be on the line for his debt. Still, she should have checked, or she could have been so screwed.”
The implications start to filter though me and I realize just what a clusterfuck this is. “Wait, your mother didn’t know they were still married?”
She shakes her head. “My mother was devastated when they got divorced and part of it was because of me. I can’t imagine having a teenager who was starting to rebel thanks to her shitty father. So, she just assumed he would take care of it. When my, I guess you could call her my stepmother, went to prepare for the funeral, she found out that everything was still in my mother’s name.”
Holy shit. “Jesus.”
“Yeah,” she says, picking up her tea and sipping it. “That’s not the worst part. He never changed his will to include my half-brother and half-sister. So, they have nothing. Their mother got together with my father when she was only nineteen. She has a high school diploma and no way to support those kids.”
“Okay, if your father was still alive, I would like to punch him. Hell, if there’s an open casket, I might still punch him.”
A bark of laughter bubbles up out of her, and her face softens. “Oh, Harry, that sounds like a good plan. He definitely deserves it.”
“So, you’ve been dealing with that on your own.”
“No, Mama and Gran have been helping.”
“Yeah,” I say, slipping my hand into hers. “I bet they’re relying on you though.”
She shrugs. “I guess. Do you want to talk about what happened before?”
I know what she means, and I know we need to. We can’t leave our fight out there without resolving the issues behind it. Actually, I would rather do that than anything else in the world, but the stressful situation here isn’t conducive to working out our issues.
“Later. The funeral’s Monday?”
“Tuesday.”
I think through the schedule I had this week and mentally start rearranging things. Everything I have will wait.
“Okay. Let me text the guys and let them know I won’t be back until later next week.”
“Harry, I can’t let you do that. You have work.”
I set my mug down on the side table and cup her face into my hands. I can see the tension there in her gaze, the bone deep exhaustion that comes with grief. She might have no reason to miss her father, but there is a connection there. And for her mother and the strain her dumbass father has put on both families. It weighs on her…on her soul. I know this woman can feel more deeply than others and while she might never get to a place where she forgives her father, he was still her father.
“I’m here for as long as you need me. I meant it when I said it the other day. I love you, Elliana. You are my world, and I would do anything to protect you from the pain this is causing you, but I know I can’t. All I can do is offer you comfort and love. I hope you let me.”
Tears fill her eyes once more and they spill over. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen her cry this much. It tells me that this situation is beyond stressful for her, and it was definitely the right thing to do to come here.
“Thank you, Harry.” She closes her eyes, causing more tears to escape. She’s beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. When she opens her eyes again, she says, “I love you too.”
Joy fill
s my heart; my chest becomes uncomfortably warm. Jesus, just that small admission from her makes my day…my year. Scratch that. It makes my motherfucking life. I lean closer and brush my mouth over hers. Simple, sweet…life affirming.
“Are you ready for bed?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
“Let’s go.”
After we both brush our teeth, we slip beneath the covers. She settles her head against my chest, and I wrap my arm around her. Within moments, her breathing is steady, and I know she’s asleep. Normally, I would definitely overthink what just happened and come up with a plan to control the situation. Instead, I push all of that away. EJ can handle it and I am just here to help. With that thought, I let sleep overtake me.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I wake the next morning, the sun slanting across my room. It’s pretty bright out, so I know that it’s probably at least past eight in the morning. I’m alone in bed, but more than likely, Harry was up and at ‘em this morning. He’s really a morning person, although I hate that he’s not here. I would love to snuggle up with him and enjoy some morning sex.
I slip out of bed and grab up my phone.
Ten? I slept until ten in the morning? Jeez.
And, there are a lot of texts. Some from Jeanine telling me that the party was a huge success. Lots of pictures, and she says she’s going to post them on Instagram today along with tagging Camos and Cupcakes and the authors we had come, and Russo Winery. I don’t know what I would do without her right now. Then, of course, there are my friends.
Allison: Tell me everything is okay, and you didn’t throw Harry out.
Savannah: If she does, I say we disown her as a friend. Is that a thing?
Allison: You’re cranky. You had to deal with the public last night at the party.
Oh, God, Savannah was at my party? I love the woman but as I said, Gordon Ramsey School of Etiquette.
ME: Please tell me I don’t have to go to court over someone you hit.
Savannah: I was nice to everyone. EVERY FUCKING ONE. Including that one asshole who wanted to know why I didn’t sound Mexican. He also said I wasn’t brown enough. Fucker.
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