by Malone, Nana
“Are you sure?”
She already regretted this call. “I get it, Dad. I should be working harder. I understand.” Next time you’re wishing for a slice of home, Abbie, just don’t. She shouldn’t have called.
He sighed. “No. You misunderstand. Abena, you’ve always been the one who worried most about what your mother and I thought. You were always the most cautious. But when you see something you want, you go after it. I have always admired your tenacity. I don’t hear it in your voice now.”
He admired something about her? “I’ve never had a professor tell me they’re disappointed before. I’m used to being confident at least about this. I might be a mess everywhere else, but this…I’m supposed to know how to do this. And now I feel like I’m on loose footing. It scares me.”
“It should scare you.” He dropped his voice for emphasis. “But it should also invigorate you. You’re a Nartey. You fight. Do what challenges you. Don’t settle on doing what will get you the easy remarks from your professor. Do the things that are difficult for you.”
Tears pricked her eyes, and she rapidly blinked them away. He was right. Xander was right. She’d played it safe with the pictures from the party. She’d taken the easy way out. Her focus had been somewhere else. On Alexi. Maybe she’d been too focused on him. She’d sworn she wasn’t going to lose herself in another guy and already that was happening, like it had with Evan. The party had been a prime place to work on portraits like Xander said, and she’d blown it.
“I—I really don’t want to disappoint anyone. Least of all myself.”
His voice gentled. “The only way you can do that is to not push yourself. In all areas of your life.”
All areas. Was he talking about Evan? “Dad, I’m sorry to put you in the middle, but could you tell mom not to tell Evan what I’m up to anymore? It doesn’t help.”
“I can do that.” His voice went deeper, gruffer. “I’m glad you’re out there on your own. It’s a chance to get a different perspective and maybe meet some new people. People who will nourish you.” He was silent for a moment before he added, “I will make sure Evan and your mother do a better job of respecting your space.”
Her heart caught in her throat. Did he know about Evan? No. He couldn’t. But maybe he’d known she was unhappy all that time. “I—thanks, Daddy. I needed to hear that.”
“Good. Now send me a picture. One of your good ones. I have some empty wall space in my office.”
She laughed. “Could you be more specific? I have lots of good ones.”
“See, Abena? You sound better already.”
After hanging up with her father, she picked up the book Xander had given her and thumbed through it. The portraits were exquisite. Haunting, even. They were unlike anything she’d ever done before. But maybe it was time to try. She’d taken several of Alexi last weekend. Some of them might even work.
Warmth spread through her, just thinking about him. But she had to watch herself. Already her split focus had put her on shaky ground. If she wanted that position, it would mean spending more time with her camera and less in Alexi’s arms. Only problem was, she didn’t think she could stay away from him.
* * *
Dance music thrummed through Lex’s ears as he surveyed the crowd of Lace Nightclub. Judging by the waitresses’ outfits, leather and chains and not much else were an integral part of the uniform. So was lace, like the name suggested.
Leaning into Gemma and Nick, Lex shouted, “One of you want to remind me what I’m doing here again?”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Man, you can’t be a recluse all your life. You have to go out. Besides, we have reason to celebrate. Or haven’t you heard? We’re rich.”
Lex shook his head. “We were rich before. Just now, it’s with our own money.” And lots of it. Between the sale of their company and the additional boost from his trust fund, he would be richer than his father.
“Richer. Whatever. Still a reason to celebrate.”
“I’ll celebrate when I find a new CEO. Until then, I generally prefer to keep a low profile.”
“Whatever, mate. You can sit here with your girl and mope all you want. I’m going to go and find someone nice and dangerous to see if I can coax her into spanking me.”
Lex assessed the raven-haired beauty Nick stared at. “Something tells me it won’t take much to convince her.”
Nick grinned as he followed the wanna-be-dominatrix, and Lex could only laugh. “Remind me again why I’m friends with him?” he asked Gemma.
“Because, despite his many failings, he’s a good friend. I’m glad he can coax you out of the house when I can’t. I mean, what in the world have you been up to? I haven’t seen you in weeks. I’m starting to worry you’re depressed or something. You can’t just hide away from the world.”
He hadn’t exactly been hiding away. He’d just been spending every spare minute he could with Abbie, playing undercover couple. So far, no one had taken any notice of them. Riding public transport with her and doing normal people things like schlepping groceries, and hanging out in the public gardens, and seeing museums were a great way to go unnoticed. He’d never given it much thought before, but there was a way to avoid the limelight, and that was to not court it. Whether he liked it or not, club hopping with his friends made him a sitting target.
He’d been out with Abbie on her shooting expeditions, and so far, not one person had recognized him. Even the gossip-hungry teenagers they’d encountered at the Basingstoke Mall, where she’d wanted to hit up a boutique to get Tamsin a present for her upcoming birthday, hadn’t seemed to recognize him. And not like his disguise had been that good—a baseball cap pretty much sucked.
“I’m not depressed, Gem. I’ve just been busy.”
She studied him closely, her pale blue eyes assessing him. “Okay, what gives? There’s something different about you. You’re relaxed. For as long as I’ve known you, there’s always been this edginess to you. It’s still there, but you’re not as hard, I guess. Does that even make sense?”
Yeah, it made sense, but he wasn’t going to tell her the reason. “Not sure. I feel good though. Maybe I’ve finally started to get some sleep.”
“Or maybe you’re actually getting shagged regularly. Either way, I’m glad to hear it. You had me worried. Even Jacinda has been noticing that I’ve been distracted, worrying about you.”
“What exactly is going on there, anyway?” The way things were going with Abbie, he needed to do something about his and Gemma’s relationship. He didn’t want to keep hiding things from Abbie. If she ever found out, it wouldn’t turn out well. She’d said it herself, he barely opened up to her. She’d practically bared her soul to him, and he was still keeping secrets. The need to come clean made him twitchy.
Gemma shrugged, and her brightness suddenly turned somber. “Not sure. She’s fully out of the closet. Her parents, her friends, her colleagues. I’m so fully in the closet that I’ve got a Blahnik shoved up my ass. It’s taking a toll, and I’m not sure how long I can keep it casual.” She smoothed a hand over her hair. “What about your Yank? What’s happening with you two?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer. He wanted to keep Abbie to himself for just a little bit longer. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Be careful there. She makes you happy, so I’m happy for you, but it’s already complicated, and it pays to be careful.”
He knew what Gemma was trying to tell him. He just didn’t particularly feel like listening. He hadn’t been this happy in ages and he didn’t want anything dampening the euphoria. Even if it was temporary. “I am being careful. You do what you need to do and we’ll figure it out.” He didn’t want to push her too much.
Impatiently, he scanned the crowd. Apparently kink didn’t scare off the young, elite, and rich. The usual crowd he’d see at China White were all here trying too hard not to look desperately bored. Through the crowd, he spotted a flashbulb go off, and he stiffened.
Calm down, mate. Of course the clu
b had hired photographers for the event. But he eyed the shutterbug again. Slight build. Dirty blond hair gelled up into spikes. Lex could have sworn he’d seen him before. The hairs on the back of his next stood at attention, but he couldn’t place the guy. He needed to calm down. The hiring staff would only hire reputable photographers. They knew that Nick and his friends required the utmost privacy. They wouldn’t hire anyone who had ever worked with the tabloids. But still, Lex couldn’t shake the feeling he’d seen the guy before. Maybe he was one of Xander’s students?
“Speaking of complications…” he muttered. He couldn’t have missed Abbie’s entrance with her friends, if he’d been trying.
Sophie squealed, and immediately a flock of women swarmed the models. One of the guys put his arm around Abbie, and Lex had the irrational urge to throw something. She’d texted to let him know she was coming. He’d been nearly humming and vibrating from the anticipation.
As always, she looked stunning. She’d worn her braids piled on top of her head in some kind of bun, with long dangling earrings showing off her slender neck.
Gemma glanced toward the entrance. “Given the electric sparks between you two across a room, I see where you’ve been spending all of your time lately.”
“Leave it, Gem.”
“Just saying be careful, is all.” She gathered up her purse. “I think I’ll go see what Nick’s up to.”
Lex didn’t even see which way she went, his attention was so focused on Abbie. And as if she felt his eyes on her, she immediately looked up.
When their gazes locked, need chased the elation through his veins. He’d only seen her yesterday, but any time he spent away from her felt like eons. But not like he could really complain. She’d had work to do for his brother. He tried not to think about what Xander had said about her. It didn’t matter what Xander thought. He couldn’t stop seeing her.
She climbed the stairs, her soft skirt swishing against her legs as she did. When she reached the landing, she fixed him with a smile. “Fancy meeting you here.” She looked around surreptitiously. “In a sex club.”
“Oh, is it a sex club? I hadn’t noticed.” He grinned. “Nick’s idea.”
“Ahh, he didn’t really strike me as the whips and chains kind of guy.” She shrugged.
For several moments, they stood facing each other, neither moving, forcing anyone who wanted access to the stairs to go around them. Finally, he angled his body a little closer to her to ask, “It’s one of his dad’s clubs. Do you want to go somewhere a little more private…to talk?”
Her eyes flashed. “Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “Talking seems like a really good idea, actually.”
He took her hand and led her through the throngs of the VIP section, past the dominatrix with her victim for the night, and past the sex viewing rooms. She held on tight to him as they passed.
“Are they having…”
“Yeah.” As much as he wanted to be with her, he hated having her here in the midst of all the kink that was going on. “Maybe we should leave the club?”
“I—No. It’s okay. We came as a group for Jasper’s gig tonight. Apparently there’s some big promoter here. Jasper’s hoping to get some representation tonight. We’re sort of supporting him. Everyone would notice if I left.”
“Right.” Jasper. Jasper might be his friend, but jealousy ate at him. He wanted her there to support him. Of course, he’d have to tell her something real about himself first. He found the private rooms, then after looking around to make sure no one paid them any attention, he dragged her inside. Dim red light illuminated the comfortable-looking couch and bed. Her eyes widened as she glanced around. “This is…cozy.”
He kissed her softly, and for a moment, all the tension ebbed out of his body. “I just wanted to be alone with you for two minutes before things get crazy out there and we don’t have a minute to talk all night.”
“No. It’s fine.” She placed a hand on his chest, and his heart hammered. “I’d rather get a minute with you, even if in a sex room. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
They’d spent a lot of time together over the last week, but they hadn’t been alone. Always out in public. Even the photo lab had been occupied when he’d gone to help her. The one night they’d made a date for her to go to his place, she’d had to do some school work for Xander and rescheduled. The prick of guilt stung as he thought of how badly her critique had gone. No matter what he said, he felt partly responsible for dragging her to that party.
“Okay, talk.” He kissed the crook of her neck and inhaled. Her perfume mixed with her unique scent drove him a little crazy. Making his head swim.
“Alexi, I can’t—” She moaned when he licked her. “Think when you’re doing that.”
“Okay, sorry.” He drew back. “What’s up?”
She blinked up at him and inhaled deeply. “I’m starting to worry we’re moving a little fast here.”
He stilled. What? “I don’t understand.”
“Have you noticed we’ve been spending every minute we can together?”
Something ominous and slimy squirmed in his gut. “I thought that was a good thing.”
“It is. And with you, I feel, well, it’s obvious how I can’t even breathe when I’m around you. But I feel like my focus is suffering.”
He swallowed hard. She was trying to leave him. “Are you calling this off?”
She frowned. “What? No. God, no! I’m so shit with this kind of thing. I just need to pay a little more attention to school and the apprentice position. Curtail seeing you to maybe once or twice a week. Let’s face it, I’m running out of reasons to why I’ve been out all day. And our friends are going to start to notice.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“Maybe just pull back a little. I don’t want to give up how you make me feel. I love this feeling, but I came to London for a reason. And if I don’t focus on it, I’m going to miss the opportunity.”
Relief washed over him like a wave. As did panic. He was totally fucked. He was completely in love with her, and she was asking to pull back. Problem was, he’d give her whatever she wanted just to spend some time with her. Any time with her.
He kissed her forehead. “Whatever you need. I’m not going anywhere.” Sap.
Her brows furrowed. “You’re okay with this?”
“Of course.” He pulled her in and kissed her because he couldn’t bear not to. His tongue slid over hers in the familiar pattern, and his blood thickened. She responded by winding her hands into his hair and tugging him close. He’d been half hard from the moment she walked into the club, but now his erection throbbed insistently behind the fly of his jeans.
As his hands slipped under her shimmery top to feel the satin-smooth skin beneath, Abbie moaned into his mouth. His thumbs traced each rib, and she melted against him. Her breath caught when her belly came into contact with the thick length of him.
Fuck. Lex’s body kept screaming that there was a bed right here and she clearly wanted him. But they didn’t have time for this. Their friends would miss them.
Very deliberately, he placed his hands on her hips. He held her tight for several seconds, wanting to drag her closer and grind his dick into her to show her how much he wanted her. To hint that he knew just what that bed was for and had an idea where all the sex toys might be. Instead, he set her a foot away from him and his stiff erection.
They both dragged in gulps of air. Her eyes were cloudy and hooded as she blinked up at him. “Wh-why’d you stop?”
Lex tried desperately to clear his brain of lust and think clearly. “What?”
“Don’t stop.” She took a step toward him.
He stepped back. If he touched her again, he might not be able to stop himself. “Abbie, we’re not doing this here. As much as I want to be with you. I really don’t want a rushed quickie in a sex room.”
She nodded slowly and inched forward. “So, you still want me?”
He dragged his hands through
his hair. “Jesus. I’m trying desperately to be the good guy. I’m trying very hard to not drag you into that bed and peel off your top to see if you’re wearing a bra over those pretty tits of yours. How can you ask if I still want you? I’ve been dreaming about you ever since last Sunday. It’s all I’ve been able to think about the last couple of weeks.”
She reached for him, unbuttoning his top button, then the next, and all the way down until his shirt hung open. When her fingertips brushed his skin, Lex squeezed his eyes shut, trying to manage the deluge of need. She was touching him like she needed him, like she would die if she didn’t have him. So what was his problem?
“Fuck it,” he muttered as he dragged her to him again, melding his lips with hers. He pushed his tongue inside her sweet warmth, desperate to taste her. Needing to know how much she wanted him.
She responded by sucking on his tongue, sliding hers so wet and so hot against his that his knees wobbled. When she pressed her body flush against his, he couldn’t think.
Lex lifted her so she straddled his hips, and he braced her against the wall. He was desperate to bury himself inside her, but he wasn’t going anywhere near that bed. She held onto his shoulders and locked her legs behind his back. Devouring her mouth, he slid his hands back up her torso until his thumbs skimmed across bare breast.
Lex dragged her mouth from hers. “Fuck, Abbie, I was kidding about the no bra thing.”
Her answering smile was feminine and powerful. “You like the look?”
“God, yes.” He hated the idea of any of the blokes she came with getting a peek down her blouse, but it was so sexy. He palmed both of her breasts, and she tossed her head back, baring her neck. Leaning over, he nipped then licked at a sensitive spot on the column of her throat before sucking on it gently, marking her as his.
His thumb and forefinger pinched her nipples, and she moaned his name while rocking her hips against him. “Lex, please…”
“I know what you need.” He placed open-mouthed kisses along her throat until he reached her lips again. He removed one hand from her breast and massaged the back of her neck as he kissed her.
