Dried Up
A Poker Boy Story
Dean Wesley Smith
Dried Up
Copyright © 2012 by Dean Wesley Smith
Published by WMG Publishing
Cover Design copyright © 2012 WMG Publishing
Cover art copyright © Chrisharvey/Dreamstime
Smashwords Edition
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
One
I very seldom get the feeling that something is wrong while sleeping beside Patty Ledgerwood, aka Front Desk Girl. In fact, until that very moment, it had never happened. Nothing ever seemed to be wrong when I was with Patty and not on a mission.
I get the “something-is-wrong” feeling at poker tables all the time, usually when another professional player is attempting to bluff me out of my shoes and all my money. I have learned to pay attention to that feeling, almost as if it is one of my superpowers. By paying attention, I have saved myself a ton of money over the years.
Right now I was in Patty’s apartment near the University of Nevada, Las Vegas campus. In her master bedroom, to be exact. I could hear her regular breathing beside me, which told me she was sound asleep. The wonderful smell of her rose perfume filled the air and the feel of her expensive, fine-cotton sheets against my mostly bare skin felt wonderful, just as they always did.
Patty had had the day off, and we had spent it together; first at a movie, then a nice dinner at the buffet at the MGM Grand, and then back to her apartment to cuddle on the couch and watch television before heading to bed.
It didn’t get much better these days.
But now, even without opening my eyes, I knew something was wrong.
I eased one eye open without moving, and couldn’t see a thing in the dark room. The only light came from a nightlight in the bathroom to the right of the room and an alarm clock on the nightstand beside me. There was no light coming under the heavy curtains over the patio door, so it was still dark outside as well.
I eased over to glance at the time, and a lightning storm went off in the sheets.
And that wasn’t a metaphor for some sexual thing.
A real lightning storm erupted around me, as more static electricity than I could imagine let lose.
And each spark was like a kid pinching me. Let me tell you, the sparks hurt.
“Wow!” I said out loud as I sat up.
It was as if I had rubbed my entire body across a carpet and then was touching things.
My movement caused the sheets to explode with even more static electricity which woke Patty up, and she sat bolt upright in bed as well, causing even more sparks as she sat stunned at the light show going on around us.
And the tiny pinches of pain with every large spark.
Somehow, every bit of moisture had been sucked out of the room, and a very large, background, static electric charge had filled the air.
“Sit still,” I said, as Patty moved slightly and the room lit up with a light show once again.
“Ouch!” Patty said, freezing in place. “That hurts.”
I had heard of many reasons for friction in bed, but this was ridiculous.
But in the light caused by the sparks with Patty’s last movement, I had seen the problem.
Two alien-looking creatures with large black eyes and oblong heads stood at the end of the bed, staring at us.
It was like a scene out of a bad alien-abduction movie.
The UFO conspiracy people called them “Grays,” but I knew them to be members of a race native to Earth called the Silicon Suckers.
In fact, they had been around far, far longer than humans.
They hate water and could deal with very little if any of it. Clearly they took what water they needed right out of the air around them.
They lived in very dry caves in the desert. The caves were so dry, the air would kill a human after just a couple of days, even with enough drinking water, which wasn’t allowed in the homes of the Silicon Suckers.
Their very presence in Patty’s apartment had sucked all the moisture out of the room.
I had never heard of a Silicon Sucker being seen inside a human city. Something had to be very, very wrong.
I carefully motioned for Patty to look at the foot of the bed. The sparks from my slight movement bit into me again and lit up the room.
She saw them and her breath sucked in with surprise. She instinctively pulled the sheet up to her neck covering up her nightgown and causing a large electrical storm around her and me.
Damn those little sparks hurt. It was lucky we just didn’t burst into flames right there.
“Sorry,” she said, holding her breath against the pain.
I had dealt with the Silicon Suckers a number of times before, and been in their sacred caves they called “sand castles.” I had always been welcomed in their world because of a couple of favors I had done for them over the last few years.
“Greetings, honored guests,” I said, bowing my head slightly and hoping the movement wouldn’t set the sheets on fire. “What do I owe this great honor?”
Both Silicon Suckers bowed in return. Both looked identical. The one on the right spoke.
“Poker Boy, Front Desk Girl, we ask for your assistance in a matter of importance to our people.”
“Of course,” I said.
Both Patty and I bowed slightly.
After the sparks stopped I said, “It will be a great honor to help our friends.”
Both again bowed in acceptance. “Our leader will speak to you at sunrise.”
“We will attend,” I said, also bowing again and setting off even more sparks. This room was going to need a humidifier real quick or we would be calling for fire trucks.
Without another word, the two turned and went out through curtains covering the bedroom’s patio door, setting off a huge wave of sparks. I knew for a fact that the door had been locked and secured when we had gone to bed.
I had no idea how they had gotten in, or how they would get from Patty’s apartment near UNLV, across town, actually across the Strip, and back into the desert.
The moment the curtains dropped back into place in a shower of static electricity, I instantly transported us into the living room area of Patty’s apartment. The air there felt dry, but nothing like the intense lack of moisture in the bedroom.
I loved my newly learned superpower of teleportation. I just never expected to use it teleporting out of Patty’s bed.
Patty used a napkin to flip on a light, took one look at me and started to laugh.
Now trust me, a beautiful woman in a sheer blue nightgown laughing when she sees your almost-naked body does not do wonders for even my superhero ego.
But I had to admit she looked just as funny. Besides all the tiny red marks all over her arms and wonderful legs that showed under her nightgown, her long brown hair stuck out in all directions from her head like she had been attacked by a mad hairdresser. Her hair was spread so wide, I doubt she could even get through a door.
And her wonderful face looked like it had a bad case of measles.
I glanced down at my own legs and chest, also covered with hundreds and hundreds of small red marks, as if I had been attacked by a swarm of bed bugs. Then I felt my brown hair, which was also standing straight out in all directions. And I could also feel my face was covered in the tiny red bumps from the electrical shocks.
Thank heavens I had worn my boxers to
bed. The thought of electronic shocks to certain parts of my body just made me shudder.
Two
After we carefully opened the windows and doors to let in some of what now seemed like balmy and humid Las Vegas summer air, we both drank three large glasses of water.
Thirsty didn’t begin to describe what I was feeling.
Then, when we both had extra-large glasses of water in our hands, I shouted at the ceiling. “Stan. Need help!”
I have no idea how he always heard me, but he always did. Stan was the God of Poker, and my immediate boss.
An instant later he appeared in Patty’s living room in front of us, looking grumpy that I had disturbed him in the middle of the night. He normally wore brown slacks, a light sweater, and black shoes. He was a short man, not even close to my six-foot height, and I seldom saw him smile. His dark hair was cut very short all the time, and his eyes looked almost black.
But tonight he had on a white golf shirt and blue golf shorts and the shorts looked like they were on backwards. When the God of Poker can’t even dress himself, he really was tired.
He started to say something, then took one look at us and started laughing. I had seen him laugh a few times, but when a God starts to laugh at you, it is always worrisome.
But I had to admit that we did look funny. There was no containing our hair and the red marks on our faces, arms, and legs were getting brighter by the second.
“You two go through a swarm of bees on a rollercoaster?”
“Nope,” I said as he laughed. “Just an electrical storm in bed.”
He started to make some joke, then looked at Patty, then back at me and couldn’t say anything because he was laughing too hard.
“I’m not kidding,” I said. “Two Silicon Suckers woke us up and asked for our help.”
Stan’s laughing instantly vanished and he went back to his normal poker face. His golf shirt and golf shorts instantly became his normal slacks and sweater and black shoes.
It seemed I now had his attention and he was very much awake.
“How in the world did they get here?” he asked, shaking his head. “And when are you supposed to meet them?”
“We are meeting their leader at sunrise.”
“You are meeting the Great One?”
Now he was stunned and when he said it like that, it bothered me as well. Patty just looked worried under all the red marks and massive head of hair spread out three feet around her head. It was going to take her some real time once the static charge faded to untangle all that wonderful long hair.
“You ever heard of the Silicon Suckers coming into any human town?” I asked Stan. “Just to ask for human help?”
“Never,” he said, shaking his head.
“Have you heard any rumors about anything going wrong in their caves? Or anyone having a run-in with them?”
“Nothing,” he said, “but I might have missed something. Stay put, I’m going to go get Burt and maybe Laverne.”
He vanished.
Laverne was Lady Luck herself, in charge of all of the gambling and gaming universe. Burt was her second in command. I’d been around Lady Luck a number of times now, and Patty and I and the team had actually saved her life once. But she still scared hell out of me.
If Stan thought this was worth waking up Burt and maybe even Laverne, then Patty and I really might be in over our heads. We were just lowly superheroes.
Really dry and marked-up superheroes.
I had just taken another drink of water and was about to suggest we get a little more dressed when Laverne and Stan appeared. Lady Luck had on a strict brown business suit with her brown hair pulled back tight in a bun. She did not look happy.
When she saw us she raised one eyebrow, but did not smile, even though we looked really, really silly. With a wave of her hand Patty and I were both dressed, the static gone from our hair and the red marks gone from our skin.
Patty in her normal black pants and white blouse. Laverne had put me in my normal jeans with dress shirt, black leather coat and Fedora-like black hat. That was my poker uniform.
“Thank you,” Patty said.
I nodded agreement. “Yes, thank you. I feel much better.”
I could also feel the extra power that my coat and hat brought to me from the nearby casinos.
“No idea at all what the Silicon Suckers want?” Lady Luck asked, all business.
“Not a clue,” I said. “Has something like this ever happened before?”
“Never,” she said. “I have only met The Great One once, a few thousand years ago. But I do know that he only concerns himself with matters of major importance.”
“I wonder why he came to us instead of you?” Patty asked. “It makes no sense.”
“He didn’t want to bother you,” I said to Lady Luck, knowing the answer to Patty’s question. “This is something he feels Patty and I can accomplish.”
Both Laverne and Stan nodded.
“That makes sense,” Laverne said. “But it gets us no closer to what he might want. And we just don’t have time to figure it out. You had better get going.”
“We have one stop to make first,” I said.
I turned to my direct boss. “Stan, could you get me six thermoses and two backpacks to carry them in, and meet me at The Diner?”
Stan nodded and vanished.
“Good luck,” Laverne said. “If you need my help in any fashion, just call out. I will be standing by.”
“Thank you,” Patty said as Laverne vanished.
I glanced at Patty, who looked stunning, as always, in the dark slacks and white blouse that Laverne had dressed her in. Her brown hair was combed and under control. Only the worry showing in her dark-brown eyes flawed the picture.
“Ready for an adventure?” I asked.
“With you, always,” she said, smiling.
I took her hand and jumped us to The Diner, our favorite restaurant and meeting place tucked off on a side street in downtown Las Vegas. It was a place decorated in a fake 1960s look and run by Madge, a superhero in the food service part of the world. Madge seemed to always be there and she made the best milkshakes on the planet.
Ten minutes later, Madge and Stan had us ready to go and we jumped to the outskirts of Las Vegas near a huge Las Vegas billboard.
Three
The cool morning desert air hit my face and I was glad to have the leather jacket on.
Patty had over one shoulder a backpack with three thermoses of hot chocolate, and I had the other backpack on my back with the other three.
Hot chocolate was like an extreme drug to the Silicon Suckers. One single drop of the liquid would send a Sucker into a drug high that seemed to last for a long time.
I had learned a long time ago to never think of going into one of the Silicon Sucker cities without a gift of a thermos of hot chocolate. And since we were going to see the Great One, it made sense to carry even more of the gift.
We had arrived fifteen minutes ahead of our time to meet the Great One, but I had a hunch it would take us that long to get to where he was through the vastness of the underground city. The sun had already lit up the hills and desert with a golden glow and the air still had an early-morning chill to it that promised to be gone very shortly in the summer heat.
“You ready?” I asked.
Patty nodded, but looked very nervous. She had never been inside a Silicon Sucker “sand castle” as they liked to call their huge network of caves and tunnels in the sandstone and rock.
While the hot chocolate was being made, Stan, had briefed Patty on all the rules of the Silicon Sucker city.
We could never touch a wall. We could never sit down unless invited. We had to always treat the Suckers with respect by bowing. We had to give our full and honest name before being allowed to enter. And so on and so on. They were a very rule-bound race.
I had us face directly east, then, to the seemingly open-air twenty paces from the big billboard, I said, “Poker Boy and Front Desk Gir
l ask for entrance into the great city of the Silicon Suckers.”
The entrance of a large tunnel shimmered into existence in front of us. It seemed to go into the side of a hill that just didn’t appear to be there. Very weird.
I slipped off my shoes, leaving them on the desert sand. Patty did the same, and we stepped forward into the tunnel that slanted downward gently.
About twenty paces inside we were met by a Silicon Sucker who bowed as we bowed and gave our full names.
“Welcome to our castle once again, Poker Boy,” he said. “It is always an honor to have you as a guest.”
He turned to Patty. “It is also an honor to have you visit our castle.”
“The honor is all mine,” Patty said, bowing slightly.
With all the greetings done, the Silicon Sucker turned and indicated we should follow him.
As I had guessed, it seemed to take a long time for us to reach the major cavern and work our way down one wall on sloping ramps. For a person afraid of heights, this path on the face of the wall would be pure hell. It was a long ways down and there were no guardrails and you weren’t allowed to touch the wall on the inside.
The cavern seemed to stretch into the distance and the walls were riddled with paths and open tunnels. They seemed to be crawling with Silicon Suckers.
I had never seen so many out and moving at the same time before. I felt like I had been shrunk down and was walking in an anthill.
The floor of the huge cavern had hundreds and hundreds of buildings and I knew from earlier visits that the caverns and tunnels went deep under all the buildings as well.
Seeing so many Silicon Suckers moving at once, I suddenly wondered what all of them ate and how so many could be fed? No doubt I dare not ask such a question.
I glanced at Patty who was following me. She seemed to be doing fine on the wall face, even in the drying air. I could feel the moisture in my lips and skin drying up and the leather jacket I wore didn’t feel so comfortable now in the growing heat. But I didn’t dare take it off, not only because it would be an insult in the city, but it gave me extra power. And there was no telling what I might need to do in this situation.
Dried Up: A Poker Boy Story Page 1
