“Why do you have to be that way, Anda?” Kami retorted angrily.
“I don’t know what you mean, Kami,” Anda replied primly. “I’m just saying that Lord Ashinji should know better than to go all starry-eyed over a hikui.”
Anda served as a guardswoman, like Aneko and Kami. The bed that Jelena now slept in had once been hers until she had married a fellow guardsman and had moved out of the barracks. She and her husband had a small cottage of their own now on the castle grounds nearby, but Anda still came around often to visit her comrades.
“Lord Ashinji is wise enough to listen to his own heart,” Aneko said quietly, pouring a mug of beer for the newcomer.
Anda lowered herself carefully down on the bench beside Kami and sighed gratefully. “Goddess’ tits, but it feels good to sit,” she said, rubbing her swollen belly. The young guardswoman, in the final weeks of her first pregnancy, wore a haggard expression, clearly approaching the limits of her endurance. “Ooh, I’ll be glad when this baby is out of me! If it wasn’t so much fun making them, I’d never have another,” she groaned, running a hand through her close-cropped, chestnut hair.
“It shouldn’t matter that Jelena is a hikui, Anda,” Kami insisted hotly.
“Of course it should! Lord Ashinji is okui. He’s high-born and pure and should be with his own kind.” Anda reached for a chicken leg. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings, Jelena,” she said around a mouthful of meat. “But you, of all people, should know I’m right.”
“Awwwrrr!” Kami cried in frustration and pounded her fists on the tabletop. She opened her mouth as if to scream again, but Jelena interrupted.
“Please, Kami, no. Anda is right,” she said, a catch in her voice. “I know I am not suitable girl for Lord Ashinji. Please do not argue over this.”
“I am sorry, Jelena,” Anda repeated, then after a short pause, said, “Several hikui families live in the district, you know. There must be some eligible sons among them. I’m certain if you let it be known that you are looking, Lord Sen could arrange something for you.”
Jelena realized that Anda believed her suggestion to be helpful; still, the surge of anger that swept through her caught her by surprise and left a painful knot in her gut in its wake.
“I will not be looking any time soon,” she replied.
An uncomfortable silence descended on the room. Anda finished off her chicken leg and started in on a scrap of wing. Aneko sipped at her beer, her expression unreadable. Kami sniffed loudly and traced circles on the tabletop with a forefinger, chin still firmly planted in hand.
Jelena stared at her tightly clenched fists without seeing them, her mind lost in a haze of despondency. A painful cramp in her fingers brought her back to herself, and slowly, she forced her hands to relax.
Kami finally broke the silence with a change of subject. “Lord Sadaiyo’s bride is to arrive tomorrow. I’ve heard that she is a real breaker of both horses and men,” she said, smirking.
“Lady Misune is a fine warrior, Kami, and will be mistress of us all one day. You’d do well to remember that,” Aneko chided. Oftimes, Jelena noticed, Aneko played the role of disciplinarian, reining in Kami’s youthful impudence.
“I’m only saying it because I admire her,” Kami sulked. “I wish that I had such things said about me!”
“Your problem, my girl, is that you’re always wanting things you can’t have,” Aneko retorted.
“Ai! You are worse than my grandmother!” Kami shot back.
“Tell me about Lady Misune,” Jelena asked, hoping that a bit of gossip would lighten her mood.
“She is the oldest daughter of Lord Dai of Manza,” Aneko began. “Manza’s the district just to the north of Kerala, beyond the Great Forest. She is supposed to be both beautiful and intelligent, which is why, no doubt, Lord and Lady Sakehera chose her for the Heir. We’ll all know soon enough what she’s like.”
“She’d better be very tolerant,” Anda said. “It’s no secret that Lord Sadaiyo has a roving eye.”
“From what I’ve heard, I don’t think Lord Sadaiyo would dare to stray,” Kami chimed in with a mischievous grin.
“Well, I should be getting back,” Anda announced. “That husband of mine will be home soon and wondering where I’ve gotten myself to. He’s been as nervous as a broody hen through this entire pregnancy!” She rose ponderously to her feet, belly in the lead.
“Good husbands should be, especially with the first one,” Kami commented. “I’ll be glad when you’re back on duty. I’m tired of working double shifts.”
Anda laughed. “I’ll remember your words when you’re knocked up with Gendan’s brat and I’m covering for you! G’bye, all.”
After Anda had departed, Kami and Aneko cleared away the remains of the meal, leaving the jug of beer and three mugs behind. When Jelena offered to assist, they politely refused.
“You’re still not completely healed, yet. Lord Ashinji ordered us to make sure that you rest,” Kami explained.
“I am sick of resting!” Jelena grumbled in annoyance. She felt perfectly fine and ready to start her duties as Lord Sakehera’s messenger. To prove it, tomorrow she would go down to the stables and select a mount. When Ashinji saw that she was well enough to ride, he would have to give in and let her work.
The guardswomen rejoined Jelena at the table and Aneko poured more beer. “Don’t let Anda get to you, Jelena,” she said.
“Anda can be a real bitch, sometimes,” Kami added. “It’s the way she was raised. You know wedon’t feel that way, don’t you, Jelena?”
Jelena forced her mouth into a smile, appreciating her friends’ attempts to comfort and reassure her. “What Anda says does not bother me,” she lied. “It is something I have heard many times before…in different words, from people I grew up with.”
“I’ve served Lord Sen for many years,” Aneko said. “And he’s never shown anything but fairness to any person living in Kerala, be they hikui or okui. He’s that kind of a man, and he’s tried to set a good example for all of us.” She took a sip of beer and wiped her lips on the back of her hand.
“I’ve known Lord Ashinji his whole life,” she continued. “When he was very young, back when he lived here at Kerala Castle full time, he had one or two boyish crushes, but they were passing fancies. Never have I seen him in love…until now, and I can tell you truly, that purity of blood makes no difference to him.”
“Please, Aneko! You must not say this thing,” Jelena begged. “You know situation of mine. Impossible for me, for us to…Ugh! My Siri-dar is not good enough to make known feelings of mine with proper words!”
Kami nodded sympathetically.
Aneko’s kind expression told Jelena that the older woman understood perfectly.
“We commoners are more fortunate than noble folk in some ways,” Aneko said. “Most of us get to choose for ourselves whom we would mate with. Lord Ashinji will have to marry according to his parents’ wishes, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you can’t be together. You have won his heart, and that will be yours for the keeping, even after he marries.”
Jelena shook her head vigorously. “No! I refuse…not for me the life of a concubine! I left Amsara for this reason. My uncle, he would force me into loveless…how to say what is a binding agreement? I would be concubine only, never wife. I chose to run. I will not…be slave!”
She jumped up from the table, upsetting the half-full mug of beer before her, sending the foamy amber liquid gushing over the scarred wood. Sorrow and anger in equal measure threatened to tear her heart to pieces. The air of the common room suddenly lost all ability to nourish her lungs. She had to flee or suffocate.
Heedless of the concerned cries of her companions, Jelena flung herself through the open door and pelted headlong down the stairs into the stableyard. Stumbling to a halt at the bottom, she doubled over in pain and grabbed at her side. She sagged down onto the bottom step and leaned against the sun-warmed wood of the wall. Eyes tightly shut, she willed the p
ain to pass while acknowledging the not so subtle reminder that her body still had not fully healed.
The vibration of footsteps upon the stairs caused her to open her eyes and look up.
“Jelena,” Aneko said softly. She settled down on the step beside Jelena and tenderly caressed her shoulder. “You must love our young lord very much.”
Jelena nodded. “With all my heart. From the moment I first saw him.”
“Then it’s no wonder that you won’t settle for anything less than a full partnership with him. I wouldn’t either, if I were in your place. I meant no insult to you when I suggested that you consider a…lesser arrangement. I only meant to show you that there was a way to be with him, even if you two can’t marry.”
Hearing it put so plainly—you two can’t marry—hurt, with a pain that seared her with its intensity. Jelena wanted to jump up and scream, punch her hand through the wall, tear at her hair, anything to let the pain out lest it consume her flesh and reduce her body to ash.
How can the gods be so cruel? What did I ever do to deserve such punishment? Why did they bring me here so that I could fall in love with Ashinji when they knew that I could never have him? Am I doomed never to be happy?
“Jelena!... Jelena!”
Jelena started, snapping back into the here and now. She turned a wide-eyed stare towards Aneko, who looked down at Jelena’s hands, face frozen in astonishment. “What is the matter, Aneko? What are you seeing?” Jelena felt a thrill of alarm.
“Your hands!” Aneko exclaimed. “Jelena, do you know what you just did?”
“Was it…blue fire…from my fingers?” Aneko nodded. “Aneko, know you what is this…this fire?”
“Most people call it magelight or handfire. I’ve only ever seen trained mages do it.” Aneko paused and stared intently into Jelena’s face for several heartbeats. “Do you know what this means, Jelena?” she said slowly then answered her own question. “It means that you’ve got Talent, and a high level of it, at that. Does Lady Amara know about this?”
“N-No,” Jelena stammered. “What is this thing, Talent?”
“Magic, Jelena. All elves are born with it. Some have it much more strongly than others.” The guardswoman’s dark eyes narrowed pensively.
“I…I did not wish to say about it until I knew my place here, but I have had it since…since before I came to Kerala. I knew it was magic, but…”
“This is important, Jelena,” Aneko interrupted. “Most hikui don’t have much Talent, but you…” She shook her head. “You are obviously different. Lady Amara will want to know. She’s a trained sorceress, though I don’t think she practices much anymore. She can help you to learn about your Talent.”
And so what if I do have Talent?Jelena thought. Did it really matter that she could conjure up magelight—she, a half-human common girl, with no social rank other than that of servant? She would still never be allowed to marry Ashinji.
Aneko must have sensed the change in her attitude. “You can’t give in to despair,” the older woman said firmly. “You have the makings of a good life here, Jelena. I know that you are searching for your elven kin. If you are able to find them, and they are a noble family and they accept you, then things might change. There might be a chance for you and Lord Ashinji.” She paused and laid a hand on Jelena’s forearm. “But if it doesn’t work out that way,” she continued gently, “accept it and move on. You are young and yes, pretty. There are many men who would find you attractive. You might just find one who’ll offer you an honorable proposal. Or, with Lady Amara’s help, perhaps you could enter a mage school. No hikui’s ever done so before, but who knows?”
But I don’t want an honorable proposal from any other man, and I’m not sure I want to go to a mage school, even though I do want to learn about my Talent,Jelena thought. She knew Aneko’s words sprang from a sincere, heart-felt desire to help Jelena see that she did have options. She appreciated her friend’s effort, but she had already made her decision.
If making a life with Ashinji could never happen, then she would make one without him, alone. She would learn all she could about her magic, and if it meant cloistering herself away in some musty school somewhere, so be it. She would love no other man, ever. Her mind could not quite confront the enormity of her decision, not yet. But in time, it would become familiar, comfortable…bearable, even.
“Thank you, Aneko, for advice,” Jelena said. “I think I wish time alone, now.”
Aneko gave Jelena’s shoulder a final squeeze and stood up. “Think about what I’ve said.”
She turned and made her way back up the stairs, leaving Jelena to her melancholy solitude.
Chapter 19
The Wedding Party Arrives
"Here they come!” Kami cried, jumping up and down with child-like excitement, her hazel eyes sparkling.
All the castle’s inhabitants not obliged to be at work were gathered by the main gates, awaiting the arrival of the wedding party. Jelena estimated they numbered at least a hundred people, about a third of the castle’s population. The massive, iron-bound wooden gates had been opened a short time earlier, upon the arrival of Lord Dai’s herald. Ashinji, astride a big black horse, waited at the center of the entrance, the herald behind and to the side.
Jelena had received a quick lesson in elven wedding etiquette from Aneko last evening. It all seemed quite complicated, but then, so were the nuptial customs of Soldaran nobility. According to tradition, Ashinji’s duty as the brother closest in age to the bridegroom began with his greeting of his sibling’s bride at the castle’s outer gate. He would recite a ritual greeting to the bride’s parents, then escort the entire party up to the keep where Lord Sakehera waited with Sadaiyo and the rest of the family.
Once the prescribed greetings and exchanges of token gifts between the parents of the couple had taken place, all would sit down for a midday meal. The bride’s face would remain veiled, to keep her hidden from her future husband. Sadaiyo would not be allowed to see or speak to his bride until that evening, after the official Ritual of Welcoming had been performed, the second and most important of Ashinji’s duties.
The ritual served as a formal declaration of acceptance by the groom’s family; without it, the bride would have no official place in the family, despite a legal marriage. Ashinji had spoken briefly of it, confessing to Jelena that he would be very glad when his part in his brother’s marriage would be over.
Jelena had not seen or spoken to Ashinji since their last language lesson three days ago. She threaded her way through the crowd to stand close to the gates, near enough to watch Ashinji and observe the wedding party at the same time.
She fought down the urge to call out to him. Never had she seen him dressed so richly, in brocaded silks of peacock blue and emerald green that matched the color of his eyes. His hair hung unbraided, the sides held up off of his face with a silver clip set with blue and green stones.
Ashinji bowed formally, from the waist, as Lord Dai reined in his horse just inside the gate. The large wedding party numbered at least three score, with many retainers and guards in addition to Lord Dai’s family. Several heavily laden wagons brought up the rear. Ashinji urged his mount forward until he and Lord Dai sat shoulder to shoulder. Jelena strained to hear as Ashinji delivered the ritual greeting, but she stood too far away to catch the softly spoken words. Lord Dai nodded once, firmly, and allowed a smile to soften the stern lines of his face. Ashinji then wheeled his horse, and the entire procession clattered noisily through the gates, colorful banners snapping in the air.
Surrounded by guards, a beautiful wooden carriage rolled by Jelena’s vantage point, pulled by two sturdy, shaggy-footed draft horses. Carved likenesses of warrior maidens adorned each corner, and the entire brightly painted conveyance flashed with silver and gold leaf accents. As she watched, Jelena thought she saw the merest sliver of a woman’s face peak out from between the gauzy curtains covering the window.
Someone jostled her from behind and she turned to
find Kami at her shoulder. The elf girl giggled with glee. “Did you see her?” she asked breathlessly. “That was the bride, there in the carriage! Weddings are such fun! Wait ‘til you see all of the wonderful food we’re going to get. I can hardly wait for Gendan’s and my wedding day. Of course, ours won’t be nearly so grand.” Jelena had to laugh. Kami’s high spirits were infectious.
The crowd began to move forward, following in the wake of the horses and wagons toward the upper gate. “C’mon! We don’t want to miss a single moment!” Kami grabbed Jelena’s hand and pulled her along with the flow of cheerful, chattering people.
The wedding procession passed through the upper gate and pulled up in front of the keep. With Jelena in tow, Kami pushed to the front of the crowd of castle dwellers, who maintained a respectful distance from the proceedings. Kami nudged Jelena excitedly. “Look, there’s my Gendan standing there by the door! Doesn’t he look incredibly handsome and smart in his parade armor?” Kami’s love for Kerala’s Captain of the Guards suffused her face with a sweet glow. Despite her ribald talk, no one who knew her had any doubt that Kami’s heart belonged to Gendan and no other. Jelena knew what that kind of love felt like; only, for her, there would probably be no happy ending.
Lord and Lady Sakehera stood hand in hand before the open doors of the keep. To Lord Sen’s right stood Sadaiyo, coldly resplendent in a beautifully decorated robe of yellow and red silk. Jelena could not help but admire the intricacy of the workmanship, for the entire garment shimmered with an intertwining motif of flowering vines. Every few heartbeats, Sadaiyo would reach up and tug on the high collar as if the stiff fabric irritated his neck.
Arrayed in well-behaved silence behind their elders, the three Sakehera daughters stood with Lani, the oldest, stationed behind her two little sisters, a hand on each small shoulder. Their robes were more simply decorated, but no less finely crafted than their brother’s.
Ashinji and Lord Dai dismounted and handed their horses off to waiting grooms, as did Lord Dai’s captain, who immediately walked back to the painted carriage. The door swung open, and he offered his hand in assistance to the woman who emerged, blinking, into the sunlight.
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