15
articles, her recipes, and her videos, too.
16
I always wanted to go out for dinner. I wanted it to be just the two
17
of us again. But she needed to be in the kitchen, she said; it was how she 18
paid her half of the mortgage. Charles was desperate to have a little
19
woman, a little wife, someone he could own. But I knew she didn’t
20
want that for herself, and I didn’t want it for her, either.
21
From the hallway I would overhear her saying, “And that was ex-
22
actly the moment I was hoping that Jane would arrive.”
23
I’d close the door behind me, quietly, and pause to listen.
24
“Because I could dart off for just a second and I knew nothing would
25
overflow or burn and that I wouldn’t come back to scorched pans and
26
stodgy sauces.”
27
I would hear her tinkering in the kitchen for a moment or two— a
28
spoon circling a pot, or the crackle of oil in a frying pan, or an ensemble 29
piece with drawers and cupboards opening and closing— and then,
30
eventually, she would say the line that I was listening for, waiting to
31S
hear. It was always something like this:
32N
“But you remember what I always say, don’t you? Jane is basically
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family to me. So I know that she’s out there now hanging up her coat or
01
taking off her shoes or whatever and she’s fine to fetch herself a drink
02
or open a bottle— mi casa es su casa and all that. If your guests are more 03
demanding, then I would suggest scheduling their arrival for the end of
04
the next stage when you can take a proper break and really be the host-
05
ess with the mostess.”
06
I was alone in the hallway in those moments, yes, but it felt so very
07
different. There were lights on, lights everywhere, bulbs hanging over-
08
head and side lamps shining in corners. There were scented candles
09
running along the radiator covers, the mantelpiece, the coffee table,
10
flickering on every surface. I could always hear Marnie, chattering to
11
herself, to her audience, to her ever growing following. There was the
12
hum of the oven and the French doors would always be open, leading
13
onto the balcony, and I would hear the whistle of the wind and the
14
purring of cars and drivers sounding their horns on the street below.
15
But that night it was lightless, scentless, silent.
16
I liked it, the sense that the flat was unencumbered by any other
17
presence; it felt unowned and sort of hollow.
18
It took me a while to find the watering can (beneath the bathroom
19
sink) and the key to the balcony (in the drawer beside the teaspoons). It 20
was nearly dark by the time I made it outside and yet I could see spider-
21
webs threaded between the leaves of the plants, stretching from the
22
stems to the metal railings, glistening in the evening light. There was
23
one visible spider, small and brown, centered in a web. I lifted the spout 24
above it and watched as the wall of water sent everything— it and its
25
web, too— tumbling toward the patio.
26
By the time I arrived home it was nearly nine o’clock.
27
The following morning, I packed a small suitcase with enough cloth-
28
ing and toiletries to last until the end of the week. I even brought my
29
own bedding. They had asked for a visitor, a guest, someone who would
30
show up intermittently, half an hour each day, simply to water their
S31
plants. Instead, I became a lodger of sorts.
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E L I Z A B E T H K AY
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I didn’t think they’d mind particularly, but I wasn’t going to tell
02
them.
03
I let myself into their flat that evening and stood again in the dark
04
hallway. This would be my home now— just for the week— but my
05
home nonetheless. I turned on all the lights— exactly how Marnie liked
06
it— and made up their bed with my own sheets and pillowcases. I un-
07
packed my food into their fridge, into their cupboards, turned on their
08
radio, looked through their bookcases. It was easy to work out which
09
titles belonged to Marnie and which to Charles; most of his had dark
10
spines, bold gold titles, whereas hers were in pastel tones, pinks and
11
yellows primarily, and with intricate handwritten type.
12
I returned from work each evening and embedded myself in the
13
folds of their cushions, the thin layer of grime crawling up their shower 14
tiles, the lip balm stains tarnishing their glasses.
15
There is something very odd and yet rather comfortable about being
16
alone in someone else’s home. I recall feeling distinctly aware of their
17
presence, even though they were hours away— continents, even— on
18
the other side of the world. I felt like I was seeing them— the real ver-19
sion of them as a couple— for the very first time. I found myself rifling 20
through their cabinets, keen to discover their favorite herbs and those
21
with the foil lid still stuck in place. I went through their drawers and
22
was astonished to discover that Marnie had become the sort of woman
23
who bothered with matching underwear. I looked through their medi-
24
cine cabinet— an endless array of painkillers and cough drops and
25
Band- Aids and a thermometer still in its blister pack— and felt that I
26
knew them a little better afterward than I had before.
27
Marnie’s bedside table housed an array of knickknacks, nothing sig-
28
nificant: packs of tissues, samples from beauty counters, inkless pens,
29
old birthday cards, empty pill packets, a pair of old sunglasses, a string 30
bracelet from a trip we’d taken to Greece while at university. I discov-
31S
ered, in Charles’s, three magazines, two bookmarks, four flash drives,
32N
some Polaroid photos from a friend’s wedding— one with Marnie in a
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blue silk dress that I’d helped her to choose— and, wrapped in a brown
01
paper bag at the very back, a red velvet box.
02
So I knew what was coming; I’d had time to prepare.
03
04
05
It was Sunday afternoon and I was still lying in bed when I received a 06
second phone call from Marnie. I held my phone above my face and
07
looked at her name written in block capitals on my screen, the photo-
08
graph taken in her kitchen, apron strings knotted around her waist, red
09
hair scraped away from her face, when I’d upgraded to a smartphone
10
two years earlier.
11
I took a deep breath and I answered.
12
“Jane?” she shouted. “Jane. Can you hear me?” She was giddy, wild
13
with excitement.
14
“Of course,” I said. “What is it? What’s the matter?”
15
And I knew what it was and that nothing was the matter and yet we
16
plodded through the charade regardless.
17
“Charles proposed,” she squealed. “He’s asked me to marry him.”
18
She was entirely unable to control the volume or the speed of her words.
19
“I’m sending you a photo of the ring,” she said. I heard her fingertips
20
tapping against the handset. She lifted the phone back to her cheek.
21
“Has it arrived?” she asked.
22
My phone vibrated against my ear. I already knew, of course, what
23
this image would show. And yet I didn’t feel ready to see that ring snug
24
on her finger, nestled against her fair skin, binding her to a very specific 25
future.
26
“Not yet,” I replied. “I’m sure it’ll come through shortly.”
27
I was going to look at it, but later. I was planning to put a bottle of
28
wine in the fridge and tidy the flat and go for a walk and then, hours
29
later, when it was quiet and dark outside, I would open the message and
30
I would look at it then.
S31
“And you’ll be there, won’t you?” she asked. “Of course you will. At
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E L I Z A B E T H K AY
01
the wedding? We might do it abroad, maybe, we’ll see, we’re not sure.
02
And you’ll help me decide what to wear?”
03
“Of course,” I replied. I wasn’t convinced that I sounded quite en-
04
thusiastic enough. “Of course,” I said again, hoping that mindless rep-
05
etitions would create the illusion of excitement when in fact I felt rather 06
nauseated.
07
“And you’ll be my maid of honor,” she said. “You will, won’t you?”
08
“Yes,” I replied. “Of course I will.”
09
“Okay, then, I have to go— we’re heading home now, and I need to
10
make a few more phone calls and, oh, Jane, isn’t this just the most ex-
11
citing thing? I really can’t believe it; I really can’t. Will you let me know 12
when the photo arrives? Or I can send it again. It’s really something,
13
really special. You’ll like it, I think. Or at least say you do. But I’m sure 14
you will really as well. Okay, I’m blathering and Charles is rolling his
15
eyes— yes, yes, I’m coming— so let’s talk later and I’ll see you on Friday 16
if not before and— yes, okay— love you!”
17
She hung up.
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
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01
02
03
04
Chapter Eight
05
k
06
07
08
09
10
I
11
went to bed early that night. I sat there propped against my pillows,
12
sweating in flannel pajamas, staring at the photo on the screen of
13
my phone. It showed her hand, the gold band neatly circling her fourth
14
finger. It was a very beautiful ring, but I couldn’t help envisaging it
15
made of rope, as a noose that could suffocate, the end of something
16
rather than a beginning. The hand— while obviously Marnie’s, with her
17
slender, elegant fingers and neat, painted nails— felt somehow other,
18
like its own individual being, quite separate from her as a whole.
19
I woke abruptly— ten past two in the morning— drenched in sweat
20
and shivering and with the absolute certainty that I’d forgotten to do
21
something of incredible importance. It was then that I realized that
22
Marnie had called me from the car again— not only the first phone
23
call, but the second one, too. There had been that same sound of
24
traffic and the reverberation of shuddery wheels at speed. And she’d
25
said, hadn’t she, that they were traveling, that they were on their
26
way home.
27
I was entirely sure that Charles would not have— would never
28
have— proposed in a car. That wasn’t his style at all. He’d have wanted
29
flowers and champagne and violinists and probably moonlight, too. I
30
felt a little surprised that she hadn’t called me earlier.
S31
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E L I Z A B E T H K AY
01
k
02
03
When Marnie was sixteen years old, she fell in love with a boy called 04
Thomas. He was seventeen and six foot four and played rugby for the
05
county. She loved his chiseled jaw and firm abs and broad shoulders and
06
strong arms. I couldn’t stop staring at his bizarrely large forehead. But 07
he was utterly charming and I say that as someone not easily softened
08
by good manners and charisma and a slightly crooked smile.
09
I didn’t hate him, but I
should have. I didn’t kill him, but I wish
10
that I had.
11
Stop it. Don’t look at me like that.
12
Stop being so judgmental and listen to the story.
13
I liked the way that their relationship worked. He was hoping to be
14
offered a sports scholarship at a top university and so much of his time
15
was spent training or competing. Most evenings, in fact, and always a
16
match on weekends. They saw little of each other and their romance
17
thrived instead on notes passed in corridors and threads of texts and
18
winks across the canteen.
19
The summer arrived with its eager mornings and long, humid after-
20
noons. I didn’t notice that Marnie was still wearing sweatshirts until
21
she absentmindedly rolled up her sleeves one lunchtime and I spotted
22
four equal bruises crowded above her elbow. She saw me staring and
23
garbled some nonsense about a bump against a bed frame.
24
I don’t know how I’d missed it. She was secretive with her phone,
25
where once she’d read her messages aloud and together we’d crafted
26
replies. She was quick to anger, quick to bite, restless and skittish and I 27
hadn’t noticed any of it.
28
I knew what was happening. And I knew that I could stop it.
29
There was a trellis tangled with wisteria that scrambled up from the
30
backyard of her parents’ house to her bedroom window. I climbed it. I
31S
opened her wardrobe. I stepped inside and I sat cross- legged, cushioned 32N
by a mound of clothing.
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I waited.
01
I knew that he was playing rugby that afternoon. She was watching
02
the match and I knew that they would return to her room afterward
03
because her parents were at her brother’s music recital and, at that time 04
in our lives, an empty house was too tantalizing to ignore.
05
I heard the key in the lock, their voices on the front step, the tap
06
running in the kitchen, a cupboard opening, a glass clinking against the
07
marble worktop. I heard their feet on the stairs, the bedroom door
08
smoothing the carpet, the springs of the bed.
09
I took my phone from my pocket and I turned on the microphone
10
and I held it at the gap between the two doors where the light seeped
11
in. I still have the recording:
Seven Lies (ARC) Page 9