by C. L. Moore
She swept the orange hair like a veil between them, bending her head and saying indistinctly, ‘A way out you could not take. A way too costly. And – and I do not wish you to go, now …’
‘I must know,’ said Smith relentlessly.
She paused then, and stood looking up at him, her sherry-coloured eyes disturbed.
‘Bv the way you came in,’ she said at last. ‘By the virtue of the Word. But that gate is impassable.’
‘Why?’
‘It is death to pronounce the Word. Literally. I do not know it now, could not speak it if I would. But in the Temple there is one room where the Word is graven in scarlet on the wall, and its power is so great that the echoes of it ring for ever round that room. If one stands before the graven symbol and lets the force of it beat upon his brain he will hear, and know – and shriek the awful syllables aloud – and so die. It is a word from some tongue so alien to all our being that the spoken sound of it, echoing in the throat of a living man, is disrupting enough to rip the very fibres of the human body apart – to blast its atoms asunder, to destroy body and mind as utterly as if they had never been. And because the sound is so disruptive it somehow blasts open for an instant the door between your world and mine. But the danger is dreadful, for it may open the door to other worlds too, and let things through more terrible than we can dream of. Some say it was thus that the Thing gained access to our land eons ago. And if you are not standing exactly where the door opens, on the one spot in the room that is protected, as the centre of a whirlwind is quiet, and if you do not pass instantly out of the sound of the Word, it will blast you asunder as it does the one who pronounces it for you. So you see how impos—’ Here she broke off with a little scream and glanced down in half-laughing annoyance, then took two or three little running steps and turned.
‘The grass,’ she explained ruefully, pointing to her feet. The brown bareness of them was dotted with scores of tiny blood-spots. ‘If one stands too long in one place, barefoot, it will pierce the skin and drink – stupid of me to forget. But come.’
Smith went on at her side, looking round with new eyes upon the lovely, pellucid land, too beautiful and frightening for anything outside a dream. All about them the hungry grass came hurrying in long, converging waves as they advanced. Were the trees, then, flesh-eating too? Cannibal trees and vanpire grass – he shuddered a little and looked ahead.
The Temple stood tall before them, a building of some nameless material as mistily blue as far-off mountains on the Earth. The mistiness did not condense or clarify as they approached, and the outlines of the place were mysteriously hard to fix in mind – he could never understand, afterwards, just why. When he tried too hard to concentrate on one particular corner or tower or window it blurred before s eyes as if the focus were at fault – as if the whole strange, veiled building stood just on the borderland of another dimension.
From the immense triple arch of the doorway, as they approached – a triple arch like nothing he had ever seen before, so irritatingly hard to focus upon that he could not be sure just wherein its difference lay – a pale blue mist issued smokily. And when they had stepped within they walked into that twilight dimness he was coming to know so well.
The great hall lay straight and veiled before them, but after a few steps the girl drew him aside and under another archway, into a long gallery through whose drifting haze he could see rows of men and women kneeling against the wall with bowed heads, as in prayer. She led him down the line to the end, and he saw that they knelt before small spigots curving up from the wall at regular intervals. She dropped to her knees before one and, motioning him to follow, bent her head and laid her lips to the up-curved spout. Dubiously he followed her example.
Instantly with the touch of his mouth on the nameless substance of the spigot something hot and, strangely, at once salty and sweet flowed into his mouth. There was an acridity about it that gave a curious tang, and the more he drank the more avid he became. Hauntingly delicious it was, and warmth flowed through him more strongly with every draught. Yet somewhere deep within him memory stirred unpleasantly … somewhere, somehow, he had known this hot, acrid, salty taste before, and – suddenly suspicions struck him like a bludgeon, and he perked his lips from the spout as if it burnt. A tiny thread of scarlet trickled from the wall. He passed the back of one hand across his lips and brought it away red. He knew that odour, then.
The girl knelt beside him with closed eyes, rapt avidity in every line of her. When he seized her shoulder she twitchd away and opened protesting eyes, but did not lift her lips from the spigot. Smith gestured violently, and with one last long draft she rose and turned a half-angry face to his, but laid a finger on her reddened lips.
He followed her in silence past the kneeling lines again. When they reached the hall outside he swung upon her and gripped her shoulders angrily.
‘What was that?’ he demanded.
Her eyes slid away. She shrugged.
‘What were you expecting? We feed as we must, here. You’ll learn to drink without a qualm – if it does not come for you too soon.’
A moment longer he stared angrily down into her evasive strangely lovely face. Then he turned without a word and strode down the hallway through the drifting mists towards the door. He heard her bare feet pattering along behind hurriedly, but he did not look back. Not until he had come out into the glowing day and half crossed the grasslands did he relent enough to glance around. She paced at his heels with bowed head, the orange hair swinging about her face and unhappiness eloquent in every motion. The submission of her touched him suddenly, and he paused for her to catch up, smiling down half reluctantly on the bent orange head.
She lifta tragic face to his, and there were tears in the sherry eyes. So he had no choice but to laugh and lift her up against his leather-clad breast and kiss the drooping mouth into smiles again. But he understood, now, the faintly acrid bitterness of her kisses.
‘Still,’ he said, when they had reached the little white shrine among the trees, ‘there must be some other food than – that. Does no grain grow? Isn’t there any wild life in the woods? Haven’t the trees fruit?’
She gave him another sidelong look from under dropped lashes, warily.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Nothing but the grass grows here. No living thing dwells in this land but man – and it. And as for the fruit of the trees – give thanks that they bloom but once in a lifetime.’
‘Why?’
‘Better not to – speak of it,’ she said.
The phrase, the constant evasion, was beginning to wear on Smith’s nerves. He said nothing of it then, but he turned from her and went down to the beach, dropping to the sand and striving to recapture last night’s langour and peace. His hunger was curiously satisfied, even from the few swallow she had taken, and gradually the drowsy content of the day before began to flow over him in deepening waves. After all, it was a lovely land. …
That day drew dreamily to a close, and darkness rose in a mist from the misty lake, and he came to find in kisses that tasted of blood a certain tang that but pointed their sweetness. And in the morning he woke to the slowly brightening day, swam with the girl in the blue, tingling waters of the lake – and reluctantly went up through the woods and across the ravenous grass to the Temple, driven by a hunger greater than his repugnance. He went up with a slight nausea rising within him, and yet strangely eager. …
Once more the Temple rose veiled and indefinite under the glowing sky, and once more he plunged into the eternal twilight of its corridors, turned aside as one who knows the way, knelt of his own accord in the line of drinkers along the wall. …
With the first draft that nausea rose within him almost overwhelmingly, but when the warmth of the drink had spread through him the nausea died and nothing was left but hunger and eagerness, and he drank blindly until the girl’s hand on his shoulder roused him.
A sort of intoxication had awakened within him with the burning of that hot, salt drink in
his veins, and he went back across the hurrying grass in a half-daze. Through most of the pellucid day it lasted, and the slow dark was rising from the lake before clearness returned to him.
3
And so life resolved itself into a very simple thing. The days glowed by and the blurred darkness came and went. Life held little any more but the bright clarity of the day and the dimness of the dark, morning journeys to drink at the Temple fountain and the bitter kisses of the girl m with orange hair. Time had ceased for him. Slow day followed slow day, and the same round of living circled over and over, and the only change – perhaps he did not see it then – was the deepening look in the girl’s eyes when they rested upon him, her growing silences.
One evening just as the first faint dimness was clouding the air, and the lake smoked hazily, he happened to glance off across its surface and thought he saw through the rising mist the outline of very far mountains, and he asked curiously.
‘What lies beyond the lake? Aren’t those mountains over there?’
The girl turned her head quickly and her sherry-brown eyes darkened with something like dread.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘We believe it best not to wonder what lies – beyond.’
And suddenly Smith’s irritation with the old evasions woke and he said violently:
‘Damn your beliefs! I’m sick of that answer to every question I ask! Don’t you ever wonder about anything? Are you all so thoroughly cowed by this dread something unseen that every spark of your spirit is dead?’
She turned the sorrowful, sherry gaze upon him.
‘We learn by experience,’ she said. ‘Those who wonder – those who investigate – die. We live in a land alive with danger, incomprehensible, intangible, terrible. Life is bearable only if we do not look closely – only if we accept conditions and make the most of them. You must not ask questions if you would live.
‘As for the mountains beyond, and all the unknown country that lies over the horizons – they are as unreachable as a mirage. For in a land where no food grows, where we must visit the Temple daily or starve, how could an explorer provision himself for a journey? No, we are bound here by unbreakable bonds, and we must live here until we die.’
Smith shrugged. The langour of the evening was coming upon him, and the brief flare of irritation had died as swiftly as it rose.
Yet from that outburst dated the beginning of his discontent. Somehow, despite the lovely languor of the place, despite the sweet bitterness of the Temple fountains and the sweeter bitterness of the kisses that were his for the asking, he could not drive from his mind the vision of those far mountains veiled in rising haze. Unrest had wakened within him, and like some sleeper arising from a lotus-dream his mind turned more and more frequently to the desire for action, adventure, some other use for his danger-hardened body than the exigencies of sleep and food and love.
On all sides stretched the moving, restless woods, farther than the eye could reach. The grasslands rippled, and over the dim horizon the far mountains beckoned him. Even the mystery of the Temple and its endless twilight began to torment his waking moments. He dallied with the idea of exploring those hallways which the dwellers in this lotus-land avoided, of gazing fro the strange windows that opened upon inexplicable blue. Surely life, even here, must hold some more fervent meaning than that he followed now. What lay beyond the wood and grasslands? What mysterious country did those mountains wall?
He began to harry his companion with questions that woke more and more often the look of dread behind her eyes, but he gained little satisfaction. She belonged to a people without history, without ambition, their lives bent wholly towards wringing from each moment its full sweetness in anticipation of the terror to come. Evasion was the keynote of their existence, perhaps with reason. Perhaps all the adventurous spirits among them had followed their curiosity into danger and death, and the only ones left were the submissive souls who led their bucolically voluptuous lives in this Elysium so shadowed with horror.
In this coloured lotus-land, memories of the world he had left grew upon him more and more vividly: he remembered the hurrying crowds of the planets’ capitals, the lights, the noise, the laughter. He saw space-ships cleaving the night sky with flame, flashing from world to world through the star-flecked darkness. He remembered sudden brawls in saloons and space-sailor dives when the air was alive with shouts and tumult, and heat-guns slashed their blue-hot blades of flame and the smell of burnt flesh hung heavy. Life marched in pageant past his remembering eyes, violent, shoulder to shoulder with death. And nostalgia wrenched at him for the lovely, terrible, brawling worlds he had left behind.
Daily the unrest grew upon him. The girl made pathetic little attempts to find some sort of entertainment that would occupy his ranging mind. She led him on timid excursions into the living woods, even conquered her horror of the Temple enough to follow him on timorous tiptoe as he explored a little way down the corridors which did not arouse in her too anguished a terror. But she must have known from the first that it was hopeless.
One day as they lay on the sand watching the lake ripple bluely under a crystal sky, Smith’s eyes, dwelling on the faint shadow of the mountains, half unseeingly, suddenly narrowed into a hardness as bright and pale as steel. Muscle ridged his abruptly set jew and he sat upright with a jerk, pushing away the girl who had been leaning on his shoulder.
‘I’m through,’ he said harshly, and rose.
‘What – what is it?’ The girl stumbled to her feet.
‘I’m going away – anywhere. To those mountains, I think. I’m leaving now!’
‘But – you wish to die, then?’
‘Better the real thing than a living death like this,’ he said. ‘At least I’ll have a little more excitement first’
‘But, what of your food? There’s nothing to keep you alive, even if you escape the greater dangers. Why, you’ll dare not even lie down on the grass at night – it would eat you alive! You have no chance at all to live if you leave this grove – and me.’
‘If I must die, I shall,’ he said. ‘I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve made up my mind. I could explore the Temple and so come on it and die. But do something I must, and it seems to me my best chance is in trying to reach some country where food grows before I starve. It’s worth trying. I can’t go on like this.’
She looked at him miserably, tears brimming her sherry eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word her eyes strayed beyond his shoulder and suddenly she smiled, a dreadful, frozen little smile.
‘You will not go,’ she said. ‘Death has come for us now.’
She said it so calmly, so unafraid, that he did not understand until she pointed beyond him. He turned.
The air between them and the shrine was curiously agitated. As he watched, it began to resolve itself into a nebulous blue mist that thickened and darkened … blurry tinges of violet and green began to blow through it vaguely, and then by imperceptible degrees a flush of rose appeared in the mist – deepened, thickened, contracted into burning scarlet that seared his eyes, pulsed alively – and he knew that it had come.
An aura of menace seemed to radiate from it, strengthening as the mist strengthened, reaching out in hunger towards his mind. He felt it as tangibly as he saw it – cloudy danger reaching out avidly for them both.
The girl was not afraid. Somehow he knew this, though he dared not turn, dared not wrench his eyes from that hypnotically pulsing scarlet. … She whispered very softly from behind him.
‘So I die with you, I am content.’ And the sound of her voice freed him from the snare of the crimson pulse.
He barked a wolfish laugh, abruptly – welcoming even the diversion from the eternal idyll he had been living – and the gun leaping to his hand spurted a long blue breath. The steel-blue dazzle illumined the gathering mist lividly, passed through it without obstruction and charred the ground beyond. Smith set his teeth and swung a figure-eight pattern of flame through and thro
ugh the mist, lacing it with blue heat. And when that finger of fire crossed the scarlet pulse the impact jarred the whole nebulous cloud violently, so that its outlines wavered and shrank, and the pulse of crimson sizzled under the heat – shrivelled – began to fade in desperate haste.
Smith swept the ray back and forth along the redness, tracing its pattern with destruction, but it faded too swiftly for him. In little more than an instant it had paled and disembodied and vanished save for a fading flush of rose and the blue-hot blade of his flame sizzled harmlessly through the disappearing mist to sear the ground beyond. He switched off the heat, then, and stood breathing a little unevenly as the death-cloud thinned and paled and vanished before his eyes, until no trace of it was left and the air glowed lucid and transparent once more.
The unmistakable odour of burning flesh caught at his nostrils, and he wondered for a moment if the Thing had indeed materialized a nucleus of matter, and then he saw that the smell came from the seared grass his flame had struck. The tiny, furry blades were all writhing away from the burnt spot, straining at their roots as if a wind blew them back, and from the blackened area a thick smoke rose, reeking with the odour of burnt meat. Smith, remembering their vampire habits, turned away, half nauseated.
The girl had sunk to the sand behind him, trembling violently now that the danger was gone.
‘Is – it dead?’ she breathed, when she could master her quivering mouth.
‘I don’t know. No way of telling. Probably not.’
‘What will – will you do now?’
He slid the heat-gun back into its holster and settled the belt purposefully.
‘What I started out to do.’
The girl scrambled up in desperate haste.
‘Wait!’ she gasped. ‘Wait!’ and clutched at his arm to steady herself. And he waited until the trembling had passed. Then she went on. ‘Come up to the Temple once more before you so.’
‘All right. Not a bad idea. It may be a long time before my next – meal.’
