by E. S. Moore
I went the rest of the way inside, bag thrown over my shoulder. I glanced in on Ethan and Jeremy as I made my way to the stairs. They were both sitting on the edge of the couch, turned so they could watch me walk by. They turned the TV off and turned a lamp on in its place.
I didn’t say anything as I headed up the stairs. I didn’t need to. In the short time I’d been back, I’d already said too much.
I glumly made my way to my old bedroom, stepped inside, and closed the door firmly behind me.
5
It was strange to be back in my old bedroom. Everything appeared to be where I’d last left it. I don’t think Ethan had come in even once. The clothes I’d tossed in the dirty hampers were still there. A towel I’d left hanging from the bathroom doorknob remained. It was like I had never left.
I dropped my bag on the floor and sat heavily on the bed. Dust plumed into the air and settled around me. More dust covered the nightstand and dresser, further confirming the idea that no one had been in the room since I’d been gone.
The room smelled different than the one I’d been living in the last three months. I could smell old blood and death here. It had permeated the walls of my bedroom. There were a few speckled dark spots on the carpet where I’d bled from countless wounds. No amount of cleaner could fully remove the stains.
Maybe it was time to have the carpet replaced, the walls redone. It would probably never get rid of the smell completely, but it might help make the air more breathable. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed it before.
I sighed. What good would fixing up the room do? I didn’t plan on staying much longer than it would take to talk to Ethan’s demon. Once I’d paid off my mark, I fully planned on going back to Delai. I didn’t care that Eilene didn’t want me to return. I couldn’t stay away, especially knowing Sienna would be waiting for me.
I knew I should have talked to Ethan about the demon already. He could have summoned him that very night. It didn’t matter if he was tired or that Jeremy was around. I could have taken care of the mark and been back on the road the moment the sun went down again. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about the troubles of my old life ever again.
Footfalls sounded in the hall and I tensed. They stopped just outside my door, and there was a long pause before whoever was there turned and walked away. A moment later, Ethan’s bedroom door closed.
A sudden flood of guilt washed over me. I staggered up from the bed and ran to the bathroom, sick with it. I made it just in time, falling hard onto my knees to throw up in the toilet. I heaved until there was nothing left, gagging and spitting until my throat was raw. I slumped against the porcelain, too weak to rise.
Something was wrong. I could feel it deep in my gut, what was left of it anyway. I didn’t know if it was the demon’s doing or if it was something else, but there was something definitely wrong with me. It went way beyond guilt. It wasn’t the anger at having a wolf in my house. It was something deeper, something I couldn’t explain.
I lay there, shuddering like a junkie again, wishing I would just die. It was like I was suffering from withdrawal, but I had no idea what it was I was pining for.
I’m not sure when it happened, but night eventually turned to day. The sun’s rays couldn’t penetrate the heavy drapes hanging on my bedroom windows, but they still made me that much weaker. I stretched out on the bathroom floor, half afraid that if I tried to get up, I’d throw up again. I put an arm over my eyes and just lay there, hoping it would all just end.
I struggled to make it through the day. Every time I thought about getting up and going to the bed, I’d start to get sick and would end up with my head in the toilet. Nothing else came up, but that didn’t make the experience any nicer.
As the sun finally went down, I started to feel better. I was able to sit up without my stomach churning. Lying there had cleared my head a little. I wasn’t nearly as confused as I’d been the night before. I could think straight and thankfully didn’t feel like throwing up again.
Still, I felt dead and empty inside. Nothing seemed important. I worked my way to my feet and stripped out of my clothes. I tossed them toward the hamper and missed. I couldn’t find it in me to care.
I turned on the shower, jacked up the heat so that steam filled the room almost instantly. I stepped inside to let the scalding hot water batter some sense into me.
I’d been a fool the night before. I’d let things get to me more than they should have. Maybe I was still affected by the Madness of the full moon. It didn’t always just go away like magic. Sometimes it lingered.
The water ran cold and I turned off the shower, feeling a little more rejuvenated. Something still seemed off, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as before. Maybe once I figured out what was wrong, I could fix it.
I left the bathroom and went to get some clothes. I started for my closet but stopped before opening the door. I didn’t want to wear those things. My old clothing reminded me too much of a life I thought I’d left behind months ago. Could I really slip back into them and become the killer I’d been before?
No. I couldn’t do it. I turned away from the closet and went to the bag on the floor. I ripped it open, tearing the zipper from its seams, and dug in it until I found a set of clothes I could handle. Sienna had bought them for me and as I slipped them on, I felt much better.
As I left the bedroom, the shower down the hall started up. Ethan’s bedroom door was open, as was the spare bedroom door farther down the hall. I glanced in each, finding no one in either. Ethan’s was still a mess, as if he’d never learned how to clean up after himself. The other room was much more orderly, almost to the point of being empty.
I glanced toward the stairs but didn’t see anyone. I felt like a stranger in my own home, which didn’t help my emotional state. I needed to see what I’d been replaced by.
Jeremy’s room didn’t look any different than it had when it was only a spare bedroom. The bed sheet was the same ugly green I’d put on years ago. Nothing sat on the nightstand or dresser. I peeked inside the dresser and found a few pairs of jeans, three pairs of boxers, and some balled-up socks. There were no journals or anything I could read to get a sense of Jeremy’s motives.
I frowned. What did I really think he wanted? It wasn’t like he was going to try to recruit Ethan into the Cult. I was sure they didn’t work that way. Could he really only be here to watch over Ethan like he said? Or was there more to it?
I moved to the closet next, unable to keep myself from prying further. I had to know. Two pairs of boots sat on the floor just outside the door. Two plain T-shirts hung from wire hangers in the closet. There was nothing else inside.
“You won’t find anything.”
I jumped and spun around. Jeremy stood in the doorway, towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was still dripping wet. Water ran into his eyes, but he couldn’t wipe it away without releasing the towel.
“I was just curious,” I said, hiding my embarrassment. I never should have snooped. “Doesn’t look like you plan on staying long.”
He shrugged. “Guess not.”
My gaze traveled from his face to the lump of scar tissue where his arm had once been. The wound hadn’t been a clean tear. The flesh still looked angry and jagged, despite how fast he healed as a werewolf.
Jeremy saw me looking and turned so I could get a better look at the damage.
“Lei did all she could,” he said. “But it wasn’t enough.” He sighed and stepped aside. “I’d like to get dressed now.”
Suddenly, I realized how awkward the situation was. He was practically naked, which was bad enough. Having exposed the wound that I might as well have caused myself was even worse.
I lowered my eyes, but not before I saw his well-muscled chest and abs. I never remembered him being that toned. Then again, I’d never seen him without his shirt before. Or maybe he’d started working out as a way to compensate for his missing appendage. Did it really matter either way?
“Sorry,” I said, fe
eling all sorts of miserable. I walked past him, painfully aware that the thin towel was the only thing keeping the entire event from being mind-numbingly embarrassing for the both of us.
Jeremy closed the door behind him, leaving me standing alone in the hall. I stood outside the door and listened as he started to get ready. I wondered how hard it was for him to put on his shirt and pants with only one arm. It couldn’t be easy.
I really did feel bad for him. While I might have threatened him the first time we met, I never really wanted harm to come to the kid. His life would never be the same now. Just because he was a werewolf, didn’t mean he could easily overcome being a cripple.
I sulked my way down the stairs to the smell of fresh coffee. Ethan was sitting at the dining room table, sipping slowly from his favorite mug. An untouched bagel sat in front of him.
“Feeling better?” he asked. He was still wearing the clothes from the night before, and his eyes were dark and sunken in. It was obvious he hadn’t slept.
“Some.” I sat at the table and stared at him. He looked terrible and I knew I was the cause. “I’m sorry,” I said. “For how I acted last night. I was a mess.”
“You and me both.” He gave me a wan smile.
“I was an idiot. I never should have left without telling you.”
He shrugged the comment off but didn’t say anything.
We sat in silence until Jeremy came downstairs. He went into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee. He returned to the dining room and leaned against the wall instead of sitting with us.
“Not to sound ungrateful, but why’d you come back?” Ethan asked, setting his mug down. A flurry of emotions ran through his eyes, but most of all, I saw betrayal.
My hand went to the spot behind my ear. He saw the motion and I didn’t have to say a thing.
“Oh,” he said, his face falling. “I should have known.”
I felt sick. It was obvious Ethan had hoped I had come back for him, not because of some promise I’d made to his demon.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling guiltier than ever.
“He can be persuasive.” Was that bitterness in Ethan’s tone?
“I noticed.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. I felt like shit having not told him how much he meant to me first. This might have been so much easier if I had.
I considered telling him how I really felt, but instead I looked away. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I knew I should have said something, but with Jeremy standing there, everything I could think of saying made me sound weak. I refused to do that in front of a werewolf.
“You probably should have stayed gone,” Ethan said. “Things here have been getting pretty dangerous.”
My gaze flickered to Jeremy.
“No, not him,” Ethan said, rolling his eyes.
I felt like a fool. I hadn’t meant to imply I thought Jeremy was the problem, but it was hard not to. I’d spent my life killing wolves, and here I was letting one hang around while I ate breakfast.
“Someone is looking for you,” Ethan said. “It’s why Jeremy has stayed as long as he has. It isn’t safe.”
“Who?” I was confused at first, but anger was quick to follow. I hated the idea that someone was looking for me when I wasn’t even there.
“I don’t know,” Ethan said. He glanced toward Jeremy, who was still leaning against the wall, though his posture was much stiffer now.
“A vampire Count is all we know,” he said, his voice tight.
“No idea which one?”
They both shook their heads.
“Whoever it is, they’re pretty upset about something,” Ethan said. He tried to play it off with a laugh, but it came out sounding strained.
“We’ve lost a few in the Cult because of it,” Jeremy added. I could hear the accusation in his voice. “They killed Paul while questioning him.” His jaw tightened at the last.
It took me a moment to figure out who Paul was. It wasn’t until I thought back to when I’d seen Jeremy at the Den the first time that I remembered. He was a werewolf around the same age as Jeremy. I’d only seen him at the Den once or twice, though I never actually talked to him. It appeared I’d never get the chance.
“We were hoping the search would die down once word got out you were dead.”
I stared at Ethan. “Dead?”
“As good as,” he said, looking away.
“I’m not dead.”
“Well, we know that now.” He gave a nervous laugh. “And even if we’d known where you were hiding, we would have said the same thing. From what we’ve been able to figure out, you don’t want to get involved in this. We’re talking a Major House here, maybe even a Royal.”
“I wasn’t hiding.” I closed my eyes and tried to focus. How could this be happening? “Why would someone suddenly be looking for me? I haven’t killed anyone for months.”
Ethan gave me a worried look. “Maybe because everyone still thinks you killed all those vampires and werewolves a few months back.”
I groaned. I’d almost forgotten that we hadn’t done anything to clear my name after we discovered Thomas had been committing the murders. Only a handful of people knew, and they weren’t about to spread it around.
“Okay, fine,” I said. “But the killings have stopped, haven’t they? There’s no reason to keep looking for me.”
“I don’t know why,” Ethan said. “But whoever it is, they’re not giving up.”
I knew what I needed to do right away. “I need to talk to somebody.” I stood, angry I was being forced back into my old life. I couldn’t let this go and turn my back on everyone again.
Ethan rose right along with me. “Do you think that’s wise?” he said. “You should probably stay here until Jonathan gets here. He might know more.”
I glared at him. “No,” I said. “If someone is looking for me, then I’m going to be the one to take care of it. No one else needs to get involved.”
“At least let me summon Beligral for you.”
My gaze flickered to Jeremy, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by the mention of the demon’s name. Maybe Ethan had already told him about what he did in his lab at nights.
“I don’t have time,” I said. “Tell him I’ll get around to him soon enough.” I rubbed at the spot behind my ear, hoping the demon would wait.
“He won’t like it.”
“Tough shit.”
I started for the door but stopped. I couldn’t go out dressed as I was. While I might fit in with the normal populace, I would feel sorely underdressed without my leather. And there was no way I was going to do this without my weapons.
I turned toward the stairs and took them by twos. I headed straight for my bedroom, not bothering to close the door behind me as I shed Sienna’s clothes. I opened my closet and removed my hunting clothes. I held the leather for a long time, nervous about putting the bloodstained clothes on again, but decided it was the only thing I could do.
I couldn’t go out as Kat Redding. It had to be Lady Death.
I got dressed as quickly as I could. As soon as I was dressed, I paused, feeling as though something was missing. It took me a moment to realize I no longer had a long black coat to throw on over everything. I cursed under my breath but didn’t let it stop me.
Ethan was waiting for me in the basement. Jeremy was nowhere to be seen. A sword, as well as my belt with two knives hidden in sheaths built into the leather, waited for me on the table. Beside both was one of my modified Glock 17s, already in a shoulder holster.
“You’ll definitely be needing these,” Ethan said, smiling despite the trepidation I heard in his voice.
I couldn’t help but return the smile as I began strapping on my weapons. The sword would be obvious without my coat, so I left it on the table. As much as I hated going without it, it would draw too much attention. I could wear the heavy coat Sienna had bought me to conceal the shoulder holster.
Within minutes, I was ready. I’d thought putting on my
old things would feel strange, but I felt oddly at home. I never realized how much I missed having the comforts of my weapons close against my body. If that didn’t say what kind of person I was, then nothing would.
“I’ll be back soon,” I said.
Ethan nodded and remained downstairs as I headed up the stairs to grab my bulky winter coat. It didn’t quite match the rest of my outfit, but it would serve well enough.
I double-checked to make sure I had everything, took a deep breath, and then walked out the door.
6
Despite my agitated state, a wave of serenity passed through me as I pulled into The Bloody Stake parking lot. While it might not be the safest place in the world, it was surprisingly one of the few places I could go to relax and forget my troubles, though tonight I was there for another reason entirely.
The bar still looked the same as the last time I saw it. The flickering neon lights in the windows, the grime that covered most of the outside, the big moving sign with a woman repeatedly staking an overdressed vampire, they were all indications that no matter how much everything else had changed, Bart Miller never would.
I parked just inside the lot, as far away from the trash bin as I could get. It reeked of stale beer and garbage left out too long. I could smell it even from the road. The smell completed the image that The Bloody Stake was as sleazy as they came.
Of course, an image was all it was. Inside, the floor was cleaned regularly, the tables were always polished. The chairs and booths were comfortable and sturdy. The subdued light kept the atmosphere calm, or at least as calm as it could be when hungry vamps and wolves were sitting at a table next to a likely victim.
And that was part of the charm of the place. Danger lurked around every corner, and yet the danger typically behaved itself here. To do anything else was to invite a quick and painful death.
I crossed the parking lot, feeling self-conscious in my heavy coat. I doubted anyone would care what I was wearing, but still . . .
The doors opened without a sound and Bart’s eye immediately fell on me from where he stood at the bar. He looked like a street brawler, thick all around, with a scar running down the right side of his face. He had a limp that I noticed was a little more pronounced than usual. I wondered if there had been a fight while I was away.
