by Leigh, T. K.
His eyes searing into mine, he simply nodded and pressed his lips back to my mouth.
Thousands of unique and unexpected sensations coursed through my veins as Doug slid out of his clothes. I never thought I’d ever be able to feel comfortable with the act of sex, but the thought of what we were about to do didn’t just excite me. It thrilled me.
He fished a condom out of his wallet and rolled it on before sitting back down on the bed. Grabbing my hips, he pulled me on top of him, surprise etched across my face.
“I told you. You’re in control.”
“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I confessed.
“Neither do I.”
“You’ve never…?”
“Nope. We’ll figure it out together.”
Nodding, I placed my legs on either side of his waist, my eyes remaining glued to Doug’s, and our two bodies became one.
“Are you okay?” he asked as I momentarily stilled my motions, trying to acclimate myself.
“I’m better than okay,” I exhaled, leaning down and nibbling on his earlobe.
“I love you, Marley Jane Bowen.”
“And I love you, Douglas Evan Mullins.”
As we found our rhythm, our eyes locked the entire time, I no longer thought of my past. Intimacy no longer petrified me. It excited me. I just hoped it always would.
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHANGE
IT’S AMAZING HOW MUCH love can change a person. As I walked through the halls earlier today on the first Monday back after Thanksgiving break, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt free. I felt at peace. Above all, I felt loved. Even when Doug wasn’t walking me to class, I felt his devotion to me.
Approaching my Governments class, I grinned, my face blushing when I saw Doug leaning against the lockers just outside the room. Sauntering up to him, my lips lingered against his neck and I whispered, “Good morning, Douglas.”
“Good morning, Marley Jane. You look quite ravishing today.”
I planted a kiss on his lips before getting lost in his emerald eyes.
“There’s this glow about you, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
I giggled in response. “Maybe because I spent the weekend having sex with my hot boyfriend.”
“Miss Bowen!”
We both turned our heads in surprise to see Mr. Monroe standing just a few feet away. Apparently, he had witnessed our entire exchange.
Licking his lips, his eyes surveyed my body in the unusual way that he seemed to look at every female. “Do you need a reminder of this school’s policy regarding public displays of affection?”
“No, sir,” I responded meekly. Bowing my head and turning away from Doug, I walked past Mr. Monroe and into the classroom. I could feel the burn of two sets of eyes on me, one gazing in adoration and the other a confusing feeling.
Once I was settled, my notebook and text book on my desk, I raised my head to see Mr. Monroe standing next to me. He leaned in, his mouth just a breath from my neck. “See me after my lecture.”
“I have class.”
“It is not optional, Miss Bowen,” he growled. “Your lackadaisical attitude has been wearing on my patience all semester. Do not test me.”
“Yes, sir.” I swallowed hard. I never wanted a class to drag on as much as I wanted that one to. I was nervous about what awaited me when I went to see Mr. Monroe once the bell rang. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he had it out for me, and the only reason I could come up with was because my brother was dating his daughter. But why?
The bell rang after a class that seemed to last only eight minutes instead of forty-eight.
“Miss Bowen,” Mr. Monroe said as the rest of the students filed out. “Come with me.”
“I’ll just pack up my things and head that way. You don’t have to wait for me.”
He crossed his arms in front of his chest and his shirt stretched from his flexing biceps. “I don’t think so, Miss Bowen. It seems every time I look, you’re allowing some guy to put his paws all over you. Not on my watch. Now, come with me.”
“Doug’s my boyfriend. He’s the only one I let put his paws on me, sir,” I explained as I slung my bag over my shoulder.
“Still, I’ve promised your aunt and uncle that I would look after you.”
“What?!” I exclaimed, shocked at his confession. “Is that why you’ve been a complete ass to me all year?”
He spun around to face me, his eyes overflowing with a bizarre combination of fury and amusement.
“Pardon my French, sir,” I added, keeping my head high.
“You think I’m an ass?” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“Well, yes. You do have a tendency to be a bit of a controlling prick, since we’re being honest with each other.”
Shaking his head, he softened his hard expression, and I could have sworn that I heard a laugh escape. He led me toward the administrative wing, the noise that typically pervaded the hallways of the classroom corridors nonexistent. As we turned the corner and approached his office, Mr. Grayson walked toward us, his usual charming smile on his dignified face.
“Hi, Mr. Grayson,” I said cheerily.
“Marley,” he replied in greeting before turning his attention to Mr. Monroe. “Adam.”
“Bryant. If you’ll excuse us, I have some business I need to attend to with Miss Bowen. She violated this school’s prohibition against public displays of affection.”
I glanced at Mr. Grayson, putting on my most convincing look of remorse.
“Then, please, allow me to take her off your hands, Adam. You have much more important things to do, like grade papers. All I have to do is sit in my office and count my money, as you so aptly like to point out is the only thing I do for this school.”
I giggled at Mr. Grayson’s obvious disdain for Mr. Monroe.
A firm hand gripped my shoulder and I tensed up at the contact, my heart racing. “No. I also need to speak with her regarding her senior project.”
“I’ll send her your way once I’m finished.” Mr. Grayson winked at me, a jovial expression on his face.
“No need, Bryant,” Mr. Monroe responded before turning to me, his eyes intense. “Go to my office, Miss Bowen,” he demanded. “I’ll be with you shortly.”
I stood locked in place, my legs unable to put one in front of the other.
“Now,” he growled.
I snapped to and, in a daze, continued down the hallway and into Mr. Monroe’s office, nervous energy coursing through me from the tone of his voice and the awkward exchange between Mr. Monroe and Mr. Grayson.
Hushed voices echoed down the corridor and I struggled to decipher what the two men were saying, but their voices were too low. All I knew was their anger and hostility toward each other was clear as day in the hissing that I could make out. After several uncomfortable minutes, I heard footsteps walking toward the office. I readjusted my position in the chair and faced forward, trying to pretend that I hadn’t been attempting to eavesdrop in on their conversation.
“Now, Miss Bowen, where were we?” he asked, closing the door and sitting behind his desk. “Ah, yes, you were calling me an asshole.”
I rolled my eyes. “If the shoe fits…”
He sighed. “I understand that I may act in a displeasing manner on occasion but, I assure you, it’s for your own benefit. Now, I apologize for making you think that the reason I wanted to see you was to scold you based on your behavior, which does need a bit of adjustment. However, I was your age once, too. I’ve made out with my fair share of high school girlfriends in the halls. Let’s get to the real reason that I had you come here.” His eyes narrowed on me and he licked his lips in that disturbing way he always did. “Brianna.”
I scrunched my eyebrows. “What about Bri?” I asked guardedly.
“She’s dating your brother.”
I nodded slowly, alarm bells going off in my head. “Yes. And?”
“Have they…?” He raised his ey
ebrows.
My eyes grew wide at what he was referring to. “I don’t know!” I exclaimed. “Did you really ask me to come to your office so you could find out if your daughter is having sex with my brother? Isn’t that misuse of your position or something?”
“I’m worried about her, Miss Bowen. Her mother doesn’t communicate with me and Mr. Grayson has, unfortunately, been able to block any attempt I’ve made at speaking with her here at school. I just want to make sure that she’s being safe and smart.”
“I bet you would,” I muttered under my breath.
“What was that?” he asked cautiously.
“Nothing,” I replied. “She’s a teenager. I’m pretty sure she’d rather hang out with her friends than her parents. I know I do. If we’re through here, I need to get to class.”
“Just one more thing. I’d like to speak with you regarding your proposal for your senior project.”
I slouched in my chair.
“I just want to be sure that you’re prepared for possible backlash if word gets out that you want the Jessamine Pageant discontinued.”
“I didn’t say I wanted it to be discontinued. I just want it to be seen as a celebration of feminism instead of a display of sexism. That’s all. Right now, it seems to be a celebration of boobs and legs instead of the strides women have made in this country over the past several decades. That’s what should be celebrated. Our brains, not our bodies.”
A candid smile crossed his face. This was a side to Mr. Monroe that I had never seen before. “You know what makes you stand out from all the other female students here?”
I shook my head in disbelief at the sudden change in demeanor. “No, sir.”
“Your passion, Marley. Keep that. Remember that. If you’re passionate about something, you can make change happen. I know it.” He grabbed a sheet of paper and scribbled something on it. “Here’s a pass excusing you. I’ll walk with you to your Physics class.” He raised himself from behind his desk and opened the door. I stood up and followed him, the atmosphere somewhat awkward as he escorted me down the halls. I wondered how he knew my schedule.
As we approached my classroom, he turned to me. “For the record, Miss Bowen, I’m on board with your opinion of the Jessamine Pageant. I do hope we can work together to possibly change some things in this town.” He spun on his heels, leaving me completely speechless and anxiety-stricken about the thought of working with him on anything.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
NEW PATH
“WORKING TONIGHT, OR GOING to your bullshit study group?” Marley asked on the Friday before Christmas.
“It’s not a bullshit study group.”
She rolled her eyes as she lay on my bed, looking through some papers, making notes every so often. “Whatever, Cam. If you’re banging Brianna, you can just tell me. I’m banging Doug.”
“Marley! I do not need to know that.”
She giggled.
“But I’m happy for you. That’s a big step for you.”
“That’s a big step for anyone, Cam. So…” She raised her eyebrows at me, questioning. “You and Bri?”
“Not yet.”
“Do you want to?”
I plopped down on the bed and opened my mouth, about to say something.
“Hold on,” Marley said, preventing me from continuing. “I think this conversation is more aptly suited for the roof.” She scrambled off the bed and opened the window, climbing toward our spot. I followed. Once I was situated, she turned to me. “Okay. This is better. Now, do you want to?”
“Of course I do. I’d be crazy to not want to. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, witty, amazing. She’s the whole package.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“It’s hard being a guy, Mar. I have to make the first move, and I don’t want to do anything that she’s going to hate me for later.”
Marley grabbed my hand. “She won’t hate you. Have you talked to her about it?”
“No. Not really. I mean, we flirt a lot.” A smile crossed my face. “On Halloween, when she was wearing that smoking hot flight attendant costume, we joked about the mile high club. So it’s out there, but I don’t know…” I sighed and I knew she could sense that I wasn’t telling her everything.
“What?” she persisted.
“There’s something about her sometimes. It almost reminds me of you in a way.”
She shot up and looked down at me. “What do you mean?”
“It’s hard to put my finger on it, exactly. There’s just something…I don’t know…off. Or maybe I’m imagining it. She’s definitely a bit more shy than most girls at school, but I kind of like that.”
“She is shy,” Marley responded. “And that’s exactly why you should talk to her about it. See if she’s ready. Want to know what helped me get over my fears of intimacy?”
I groaned. “Not really, but you’re probably going to tell me anyway, aren’t you?”
“You bet your ass I am.”
“I really hate this conversation. I don’t like the idea of my best friend and my sister… You know.”
“Whatever. Anyway, Doug let me be in control. He had never had sex before, either. So we both kind of figured it out together. It’s fun that way. There’s no pressure. There’s no expectation to perform in a certain manner.”
I raised myself off the roof. “Okay. I’m leaving. This conversation is officially over before I drive over to Doug’s and kill him.”
“Don’t do that! I’ll miss his…”
I plugged my ears. “La la la. I can’t hear you.”
Glancing back at her, I saw a huge smile on her face.
“Get your brain out of the gutter, Cameron Michael. I was going to say that I would miss his heart. Because that’s what I’m in love with.”
I paused, wanting to take a mental snapshot of Marley. She was in one of her “up” phases. I hoped that this one would last and would become her new normal. She deserved to live in complete happiness with lows that weren’t so low anymore.
“But I like his cock, too.”
“Enough!” I shouted, my face turning red as I crawled back through my window, the sound of Marley’s infectious laughter like music in the chilly night air.
“Cam?!” she called out.
I spun around and met her eyes, a serene expression on her face. I knew what she wanted. I always knew what she wanted. “To the moon and back, Marley Jane.”
“From the stars to the ocean, Cameron Michael.”
I grabbed my bag and left, feeling guilty for keeping this secret from her. She had been so happy and at peace since Thanksgiving. We hadn’t talked about Buck in quite a while and I wanted to keep it that way. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t keep digging.
“Cam! Cam!” Meg called out as I headed down the stairs toward the front door. She ran from the living room where she had been admiring our Christmas tree.
“Hey, munchkin.”
“Santa’s coming soon, isn’t he?”
“As long as you’re on his nice list.”
“I’ve been good all year. I think I’m set.” She grinned at me. “Are you on his nice list?”
I chuckled. “I hope so. I’m running out and I won’t be back until after you’re in bed so give me a good night kiss. Both of you.” I crouched down and Meg and Julianne ran to me, wrapping their arms around my neck. “Good night, kiddos.”
“‘Night, Cam!” Julianne said.
I peeked my head into the kitchen to see my uncle sitting at the table, looking over a few letters. My eyes settled on what he was reading and I noticed the handwriting. I hoped it was an old letter and he wasn’t still corresponding with Buck. I made a mental note to try to go through that file again soon.
“I’m heading out,” I said, my expression flat.
“Okay. When will you be back?”
“I’m not sure. I want to get some work done before I head to Columbia next week. I’d rather not have to do school work when I’m with Mama
.”
“That’s understandable.” He returned his attention to the letter.
“Thanks, by the way.”
He looked up at me. “For what?”
“For letting us spend our Christmas break with Mama. It means a lot to her…and to Marley.”
“It’s time that you and Marley form a healthy relationship with her, Cameron. Your sister needs her mother in her life. I’m not a fool. As much as I wish she had pulled herself together after my brother died, she never got the help she needed. She has now. She’s seen the error of her ways and she’s trying to make amends for her past. That’s all anyone is trying to do, really. God teaches us to forgive. I’ve forgiven her, just like I’ve forgiven Buck for what he did.”
My spine straightened at the mention of his name. “You have?”
“He’s served his time and is trying to move on from his past. I mean, he’s serving his time…” He looked at me nervously.
My eyes narrowed on him and I reminded myself that he wasn’t aware that I knew. “He’s out, isn’t he?”
He sighed, shaking his head as he folded the papers he was looking through, and began to retreat from the kitchen. “It’s completely irrelevant whether he’s out of prison or not.”
“Why? Why do you think that?”
He spun around. “Because, Cameron. A man shouldn’t have to be reminded of his sins for the rest of his life, not when he’s made amends and begged God for forgiveness and to shepherd him on a new path. And we shouldn’t be sitting here judging him when he made a mistake. God has judged him. That’s enough.”
“But what about Marley?” I asked quietly, hoping that she couldn’t overhear us. “Why should she have to be reminded for the rest of her life? Where’s her new path?”
“She has to trust God to help her move past it. He will help her find her way.”
Shaking my head at the unfairness of it, I watched him make his way into our living room and plant a kiss on Meg and Julianne’s head as they played with their toys.
Storming out of the house, I climbed into my Wrangler and sped down the streets of Myrtle Beach, pulling onto the interstate and stopping down the road from the house that I had sat in front of almost every night for the past several weeks. I couldn’t tear myself away, no matter how hard I tried.
