A smile lit Lily’s face. “I love kittens.” She took Betsy’s hand and went willingly. Her brothers tagged along after them.
It was a relief to see Lily acting normal again. Clara had a wondrous effect on the child. Ethan glanced at her. She met his gaze briefly and nodded toward the side yard. “Come this way.”
He followed her to a group of chairs arranged in a semicircle beneath the spreading branches of an elm tree. She took a seat in the shade. He sat in the chair beside her. She leaned away from him and crossed her arms tightly over her middle. “Thank you for not telling my family how I spied on you.”
“A thing that is forgiven should not be mentioned again.”
“I wasn’t sure that you had forgiven me.”
She was such a timid creature. She barely spoke loud enough for him to hear, but he didn’t move closer. He didn’t want to frighten her. It was amazing that she had found the courage to eavesdrop on him. It proved she would put the needs of a child above her own comfort. There was more to Clara Barkman than met the eye.
“Lily has been inconsolable since you left. I’m serious about the job offer. I need someone to look after the children while I’m working. I haven’t been logging since my brother, Greg, and his wife died. I need to get back to work or I won’t be able to feed my family. I can’t take them with me. It’s too dangerous to have them around chain saws and falling trees.”
“I can understand your concern.” She looked up then, and he was struck once more by how pretty she was.
Her skin was smooth and tanned by the sun. Her eyebrows arched like slender wings over her bright blue eyes. They gave her a slightly inquisitive look. He hadn’t noticed before because she was always looking down. Her hair, neatly parted in the center and swept back beneath her white kapp was blond with reddish highlights that reminded him of his teams’ shiny coats. It was easy to imagine her hair glistening in the sunlight, too. How long would it be if she let it down?
He had no business thinking such things about a maiden. Only God and a husband were allowed to gaze upon a woman’s crowning glory.
He realized he was staring when she blushed and dropped her gaze again. He hadn’t come to gawk at her. He was here to convince her to accept his job offer. He couldn’t handle the children alone. He was willing to admit that now. Clara might be the straw he was clutching for, but he was growing desperate.
“If you would consider the job, you should know I occasionally have to take work that’s too far away for me to get home at night. In that case, you may stay with the children at my place, or if you’d rather, you can bring the children home with you. I can’t pay you until I deliver a load of logs to the sawmill, but after that it will be a weekly wage. What do you think?”
“You wish to hire me as your kinder heedah?”
“Ja, as a caregiver for the children.”
She tipped her head to the side. “I had not thought of taking such a job myself. I know many young Amish girls work for the Englisch as nannies or for other Amish families as mother’s helpers.”
Ethan said, “The job would include some housekeeping chores, too. If that’s acceptable?”
“I’m not sure I can take the job although it’s very kind of you to offer. I have applied for the teaching position at Walnut Creek school. The bishop and the school board will be interviewing candidates in a few weeks. If I am chosen, I will have a lot of preparations to make before school starts in September.”
He hadn’t considered that she might have another job lined up already. “Would you consider working for me until you know for sure the teaching position is yours? Even a few weeks will give me time to find someone else.”
“I expect I owe you that much.”
He shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I had such unkind thoughts about you. It was wrong of me.”
“And you have my forgiveness. Forget it. If you want the job, it’s yours. If you need time to think it over, could you please decide before I have to pry Lily away today? I’m not sure I can take another day of tears.”
She smiled at that. It was only the tiniest curve of her lips, but it showed a dimple in her right cheek. It reminded him of Jenny. She had deep dimples in both cheeks that appeared every time she smiled. She used to smile at him and make his heart leap, but her smiles were all for someone else now. He swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat.
“Don’t you have a family member who could help with the children?” Clara asked.
It was his turn to stare at the ground. “Greg was my only sibling. I have two aunts, who live in the community where we grew up in Indiana. One is willing to take Lily. The other one is willing to take Amos. My aunts are in their sixties. Neither of them is willing to take all the children and keep them together. Since Micah will be in school, they think I should keep him. He has a reputation for being something of a troublemaker.”
“Well earned, I’m sure. I can understand why you don’t want to split them up. I can’t imagine being separated from my sisters. It would be heartbreaking.”
He was tempted to tell her about his childhood. That was odd. He never spoke of it. Instead, he said, “My brother and his wife would want them to stay together. I know that as sure as I’m sitting here. I took the children without a second thought, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be.”
“You are blessed to have them.”
Her wistful tone gave him hope. “I know that I am, and I want to raise them as Greg and his Mary would have liked.”
She nodded. “I will discuss your offer with my grandfather. If he agrees, I’ll look after the children until I find out if the teaching job is mine or not.”
“And if the school board chooses someone else?”
“Why don’t we wait and see how it goes until then. Do you think Micah will object to having me there?”
“Micah objects to everything these days. He’ll get over it.”
“I don’t wish to cause more trouble for the two of you.”
“If you agree, there won’t be any trouble at all.” He hoped and prayed that would be the case, but with Micah, he never knew.
* * *
“I don’t think you should take the job.” Greta folded her arms over her chest.
Back inside the house, Clara and two of her sisters were seated at the kitchen table while their grandfather spoke to Ethan outside. Betsy was still down in the barn with the children.
“Why shouldn’t I?” Clara glanced toward the door. What was Ethan telling her grandfather? She didn’t think he would relate how she spied on him, but she hated not knowing.
Greta scowled as she shook her head. “There is something not right about him.”
“You’re imagining things,” Lizzie said. “I didn’t see anything wrong with him.”
Greta straightened in her chair. “It was the way he looked at you, Clara.”
“How did he look at me?” Had she missed something? So often her gaze was fastened to her shoes. It wasn’t modesty. It was apprehension that kept her from looking life in the face. It seemed that she was always afraid.
Greta leaned her forearms on the table. “I don’t know how to describe it. It was like he couldn’t take his eyes off you. Besides, if you thought he was a nice fellow, why didn’t you mention meeting him? Not once, but twice.”
It was time to fess up. “I didn’t say anything because after Faith and I took Micah home, I went back to spy on Ethan.”
“Why?” Greta asked.
“To see if he was as cruel to Micah as our onkel was to us. I’m ashamed to admit that I eavesdropped outside his window. I was nearly discovered, but I hid under his porch like a scolded dog. It’s not an easy thing to confess.”
Lizzie began to giggle. “I would have given a lot to see that. You are
always so proper, Clara. I can’t imagine you crawling under a porch. You never did things like that even when we were children.”
“With good reason. There was dirt and cobwebs. A lot of cobwebs. It is not something I intend to repeat.” She was still embarrassed by the incident, but she could see how Lizzie found it amusing.
Lizzie folded her hands on the table. “I think you should take the job. I think taking care of his children for a few weeks is the perfect way to see if you are cut out to be a teacher.”
Clara cocked her head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I be cut out to be a teacher?”
“I’m not saying that you aren’t. I’m just saying it is something you’ve never tried. It might be worse than crawling under a porch.”
“I doubt that,” Clara said as she suppressed a shudder.
Lizzie’s grin widened. “It will give you a chance to find out if you like taking care of children before you commit to doing it for a year.”
“You seem to forget that I took care of all of you for years. Especially Betsy.”
Lizzie shrugged. “Taking care of younger sisters is a far cry from taking care of a whole school.”
Greta shook her head. “I still think it’s a bad idea. We don’t know Ethan Gingerich. He hasn’t been in this community for long, and he isn’t a member of our church. I just think it’s a bad idea.”
Lizzie brushed aside her objections with a wave of her hand. “We haven’t been here long, but we were welcomed with open arms. We should not do less.”
“I haven’t made up my mind,” Clara admitted.
Lizzie rose to her feet. “You should pray about it. In the meantime, we have a supper to finish putting together. Those baskets won’t pack themselves.”
Her sisters stood and went about preparing for an afternoon of visiting, but Clara remained seated at the table. What should she do?
* * *
Ethan endured Joe Shetler’s scrutiny without flinching. He knew his request was an unusual one. As a single man, having Clara, a young single woman, working in his home might be frowned upon by some.
Joe pushed the brim of his straw hat a little higher. “I’ve heard that you are a logger.”
Ethan nodded. “I am. I have worked for a few of your neighbors. I can give you their names and you can ask them about me.”
“I have a stand of old walnut trees that could use thinning, but it’s up above the lake. The ground is steep in places.”
“My teams can work just about anywhere that a horse can stand. I’d be happy to take a look at your trees and see if it’s feasible to log some of them out. Old-growth walnut brings a nice price at the sawmill. The cabinetmakers love it.”
“I might have you do that. Where are your people from?”
This was more along the line of questioning that Ethan expected. “My family hails from southern Indiana. I moved here two years ago. I bought a place out on Cherry Creek Road.”
“Do you still have family in Indiana?”
“Two maiden aunts, who think I should be married and bring it up every chance they get.” He didn’t mention his estranged mother, who still lived there. Some things were best left in the past. “I came here looking for a little peace and quiet. You know how women can be.”
Joe chuckled and jerked his head toward the house. “I had thirty years of peace and quiet, but that has gone by the wayside. I have four granddaughters and a new wife in my house.”
“My condolences.”
Joe gave a sharp bark of laughter and slapped Ethan’s shoulder. “That’s a good one. Most people offer their congratulations.”
“I reckon it’s all in how a man looks at things.” He glanced toward the house. Had Clara come to a decision? If she said no, he would have to find someone else. Maybe she could recommend someone. Oddly, he didn’t want anyone else but her.
He was unfamiliar with the single young women of the area who might be looking for work. He avoided socializing, avoided the singings and picnics where the young people gathered because he had no plans to start courting again. He couldn’t imagine giving his heart, or what was left of it, to another woman. The cost was too dear when love wasn’t returned.
The sound of voices drew his attention to the barn, where he saw Clara’s sister coming out with the children.
Joe glanced that way, too. “I’d say your days of peace and quiet are over if you have three young’uns to care for.”
“They are my brother’s children. He and his wife were struck by lightning while they were out in the field.” Ethan’s throat closed tight. He blinked hard and swallowed back his sorrow.
Joe’s eyes softened with pity. “I’m sorry to hear that. It’s a rare thing, but I’ve known it to happen. God wanted them both with Him. We cannot understand His ways. We can only trust in His love. I can see why you need a hand with the children.”
“I’ll manage, but it would be much easier if I had someone to look after them while I’m working. I don’t like the idea of having them with me while I’m felling trees. Things can go wrong in a heartbeat.”
Lily raced up to him. “Onkel Ethan, they have sheeps. Lots and lots of sheeps. I petted a baby one.”
He swung her up into his arms. “Did you now?”
“Uh-huh, I did.”
“So did I,” Amos added, hopping beside Ethan. “Betsy and her sisters are from Indiana just like we are. They all came here on a big bus, not a little van like we rode in. Did you know we can go to Indiana on a bus?”
“I did know that. Perhaps we will go back there someday.”
“Soon?” Micah asked, looking hopeful.
Ethan shook his head. Lily cupped her hands on Ethan’s cheeks to make sure he was looking at her. “Can we take a lamb home, please?”
Micah strolled up to the group with much less enthusiasm. He hooked his thumbs in his suspenders. “They weren’t anything special. They’re just dumb animals.”
Amos looked from Micah’s set face to the ground and then ran his thumbs beneath his suspenders in imitation of his brother. “Yeah, they’re just dumb animals. We don’t want one, Lily.”
She threw her brothers a disgusted look. “I want one, and Onkel Ethan is going to buy one for me.”
Joe chuckled. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any lambs for sale today.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “Not even one?”
“Nee, not even one.”
She sighed. “That makes me sad.”
Joe exchanged glances with Ethan and managed to keep a straight face. “Ach, it makes me sad to see you sad, little one. My wife made some pretty goot banana bread yesterday. Would a slice of that make you feel better?”
Ethan struggled not to laugh as Lily solemnly considered Joe’s offer. She finally nodded. “I think it might.”
“Goot. I think it will make me feel better, too.” Joe held his hand toward her.
She wiggled down from Ethan’s arms, took Joe’s hand and said, “Come on, Amos.” Together they all went into the house.
“Can’t we go home now?” Micah asked.
“Without your brother and sister? Why don’t you go in and have some bread, too.”
“I’m not hungry, and they can eat their bread on the way home.”
“We will go when Clara has given me an answer.”
“An answer to what?”
“I offered her a job taking care of you children.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“It’s not a decision that is up to you.” Ethan didn’t feel like arguing with the boy.
“I don’t want her watching me all the time. I can take care of Amos and Lily. We don’t need her.”
Ethan understood Micah’s need to be the man of the family and take care of his younger brother and sister. �
�I know you think you can.”
“Why do we need her? You said you’d take care of us. Why aren’t you taking care of us?”
“I’m doing the best I can, Micah, but I’ve got to earn a living and that means logging. It’s too dangerous to take you kinder with me. If Clara accepts the job, I can work and not worry about the three of you.”
He heard the door open, and Clara came out of the house. She stood on the porch looking nervous and uncertain. Micah made a disgusted face. Ethan walked up to the foot of the steps and waited for her to speak. She seemed to have trouble finding her voice. Finally, he asked, “Have you made up your mind?”
“I have. I’ve talked it over with Grandfather, and he has left the decision up to me.”
Ethan waited impatiently for her answer. He couldn’t read her face. “What have you decided?”
Chapter Five
Now that she faced Ethan, Clara had second thoughts about her decision. There was something about him that left her feeling...breathless. It was a new sensation. No man had ever affected her this way. She crossed her arms tightly to suppress the excitement he caused.
Maybe it was the way he studied her face. As though he were intent on catching her every expression. She wasn’t used to such scrutiny. She preferred to go unnoticed. The urge to scurry back in the house grew stronger. Was Greta right? Was she about to make a mistake?
He shifted from one foot to the other as he waited for her reply. He was a man who found it hard to stand still, but he didn’t pressure her. It helped her make up her mind.
“I have decided to accept your job offer. I’ll watch the children until I hear from the school board.” She was doing it for the children. Because they needed her. It surprised her just how much she wanted to be needed.
How pathetic was that?
Micah came to stand beside Ethan. He rolled his eyes. “Oh, that’s just great.”
Ethan cupped an arm around Micah’s shoulders and pulled him close. “Ja, it’s wunderbar!”
Clara bit her lip to keep from smiling. Ethan’s grin was forced, but she read pure relief in his eyes.
The Amish Nanny Page 5
