They hadn’t talked about sleeping together, though everything was leading them in that direction. He’d given her the truth about how he felt, so she found the bravery to give him back the truth and do so bluntly.
She met his intense gaze and held it. His heart thundered under her palm. “I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted a man in my life. Not because you’re gorgeous and kind and sexy as hell.” That earned her a cocked-up eyebrow and a surprised grin. “I want you because you’re Rory. The way you make me feel when I think about you, when I see you, when you hold me, when I hear your voice, when I see you on a horse and in your truck.” The last made him chuckle and shake his head. “I can’t explain why all the simple little things you do drive me crazy to want to touch you, but they do. But when you smile at me, I’m lost. I want you. What we have is something deeper than finding distraction and relief in sex.”
“I’m not really against either of those things. But the first time should be—”
She pressed her fingertips to his lips, cutting off his words. “More.” She sighed out the weariness building inside her. “It’s not fair.”
“What?” He rubbed his hands up and down her back, relaxing her against his big body.
“My family keeps getting in the way of what I want.”
“Sadie,” Ford called from the bedroom door. Her phone chirped with a text message. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Here’s your stuff. Your phone hasn’t stopped in the last few minutes. Someone is desperate to hear from you.”
Sadie fisted her hands in Rory’s shirt at his sides, groaned out her frustration, leaned back, and stared up at him. “See. How much do you want to bet that is my brother?”
“I don’t make ridiculous bets.”
Sadie let go of Rory and reluctantly stepped out of his arms and took her things from Ford’s outstretched hands. She dropped her tote bag on the bed and dug through her purse for her phone to stop the annoying noise it made because she’d missed several calls, and her brother now sent text after text.
UNKNOWN: Where are you?
UNKNOWN: What happened to Dad?
UNKNOWN: Talk to me!!!
UNKNOWN: Tell me what’s going on!!!!!!!!!
Tired beyond words all of a sudden, she sat on the edge of the bed and raked her fingers through her long hair.
Rory waved Ford off. He left them alone. Rory sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“You need to get some sleep.”
“I will.”
“I’m going to take a quick shower, unless you want me to stay.”
“I got this.”
Rory kissed her softly and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. The compassion and warmth in his eyes eased her heart and the rising tide of nerves in her belly. She hated to deliver such sad news to her brother because there was no telling how he’d take it. If he was sober and levelheaded, he’d probably be okay. If he was high and aggravated, no telling what he’d do.
Rory walked over to the open bathroom area, reached over his head to the back of his neck, grabbed his shirt, and yanked it over his head. The full display of his eight-pack abs and massive shoulders reflected in the mirror.
She shook her head, unable to keep from staring. “See, now that’s just not fair.”
Rory tossed his shirt in the hamper next to him and gave her a wicked grin in the mirror. His hand went to the button on his jeans and flicked it open. She groaned.
Sadie pointed to the door leading into the bathroom, silently ordering Rory out of her sight.
“You’re so pretty when you blush.”
She appreciated that he was teasing her out of her funk, but the man was temptation times infinity and she needed to talk to her brother, not drool over the hot cowboy who could be in this bed with her right now if not for the drama and baggage in her life.
She sucked in a bolstering breath and called the new number Connor used to text her.
“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you for hours,” he snapped.
She wanted to hang up again, walk into the bathroom, join Rory in the shower, and wash away this day with his arms wrapped around her. But no, she needed to deal with her brother.
“I was at the hospital with Dad. He’s gone, Connor.”
“He’s not dead. He’s fine. You’re lying.”
Leave it to her brother to deny the cold, hard truth.
“He had cancer. It spread to his brain.”
“He’s really dead?” Connor’s voice cracked, driving her sympathy to new heights.
“Yes,” she whispered, holding back another round of tears as grief swept her anger away. “He died a few hours ago.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I tried, but obviously you’ve changed phones again.”
“You were with that Kendrick fuck.”
“Yes. I was with Rory, who stayed by my side for nearly two days, holding me and consoling me as Dad died right before my eyes.” She choked back her tears.
His heavy breath whooshed through the phone. “I should have been there.”
He said the words. Probably meant them, but that didn’t change the reasons why he wasn’t there.
“What did Dad leave us? How long until I can get my hands on the money?”
“What? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Stupid question. Of course Connor only thought of himself and what he needed.
“The drugs we left behind the other night were worth a lot of money. You and your boyfriend fucked everything up. You owe me. I’m in deep shit.”
“You’re not getting any money.”
“Fuck, do you want to see me shot dead over this?”
She let her head fall back and stared up at the ceiling. “I want you to turn yourself in to the police. Get the help you need.”
“I don’t need fucking therapy or rehab. Going to jail won’t solve anything. These guys have people in prison. People who will kill me for what I’ve done. Dad had to have left something behind.”
“He left you and me behind. We should be planning his funeral and grieving our loss, talking about all the good times we shared, but all you’re interested in doing is saving your ass and taking what little is left of the ranch Dad built with his two hands and more hard work than you’ll ever do in your lifetime,” she snapped.
“Why are you being such a bitch?” The fury in his voice matched her own.
“Because I’m angry and upset and sad and devastated that we lost our father in such a terrible way and far too soon and all you do is think of yourself.”
“Sadie, please, I need your help.” Deep fear underlay the angry words he bit out.
“You do need help, but I can’t do this anymore. I love you, Connor, but you’re on your own. I won’t put my life on hold anymore because I’m too busy cleaning up yours. I found someone I love.” The admission startled her, because she hadn’t intended to say it, but it was true. Real and scary, what she’d found with Rory she didn’t ever want to lose.
To hold on to Rory, she let go of Connor.
“I won’t let your life destroy the happiness I’ve found in mine.” The ache in her chest grew so heavy she bowed over and wrapped her arm around her waist. “If you show up at the house, I will call the cops. Please don’t contact me again.”
“Sadie . . .”
“I’m sorry, Connor.” She hung up as her brother let loose a string of curses and threats that wouldn’t sway her. Not this time.
She meant what she said. She couldn’t do this anymore despite her assurances to her mother that she’d always look out for her little brother. Her brother’s life had taken over hers for far too long.
She tossed her phone on the bed. It rang immediately. She ignored it and pulled out the clean nightgown Rory had packed for her. She walked out of his room down the hall to Ford and Colt’s shared bathroom, her back to the ringing phone and a past she needed to leave behind. Her father told her she’d have to make the hard choices
where Connor was concerned. She never thought it would hurt this much.
She closed herself into the bathroom, turned on the shower, stripped, and stepped into the hot spray, letting the water wash away two days of hospital smells and the tears of grief she shed over losing her father and brother all in one day.
CHAPTER 18
Rory walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping down his back. He hated to tempt fate, but had planned poorly and forgotten to grab a pair of sweats to wear after his shower. He wondered what Sadie would say to him walking back in nearly naked. He stood in the wide opening and stared at his empty bed, her cell phone sitting in the middle of the mattress, buzzing and chirping every ten seconds.
With Sadie gone, he quickly went to his dresser, found a pair of comfortable black sweatpants, and dragged them on. Tired of the incessant noise coming from her phone, he grabbed it off the bed. The screen lit up with three missed calls from an unknown number and a dozen texts.
The last one chilled his skin and froze his heart.
UNKNOWN: I’ll fucking kill you for this.
“Rory?” Sadie’s soft voice called to him from the doorway. “What are you doing?”
He faced her with the phone in his hand. “He’s threatening you. What did he say to you when you spoke?”
“The people he’s working with are going to kill him unless he comes up with the cash for the drugs they lost. Same shit, different day.” She walked to him with her hand out. He dropped the phone in her palm just as it chirped again.
“What’s it say this time?”
“Nothing.” She scrolled the messages, a frown on her pretty lips. The single tear that rolled down her soft cheek pissed him off.
“Don’t shut me out. I hate it when you cry.”
“I’m not shutting you out. He doesn’t mean any of this. At least he won’t when he comes down off the high he’s riding.”
“That’s just it. You’re trying to reason with a junkie.”
“I know what he is. I know who he is. I told him tonight that I can’t help him. I’m done. I’m out. He’s on his own. Happy?”
“Do I look happy?”
“No, you’re back to scowling at me. And put on a shirt. I can’t fight with you when you’re naked.”
That made him smile and laugh. “If I was naked, we’d be in that bed and you wouldn’t be fighting with me.”
“I don’t want to fight with you. I’m sorry. I’m tired and angry and overwhelmed with you, my father, and my damn brother.”
“All right, sweetheart, I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’ve had two days of pure hell and I’m not helping.”
“Believe it or not, you are. You brought me here because you knew I couldn’t stay at my house alone. Your brothers and grandpa fed me and treated me like part of the family. The toast . . . was really sweet.”
Rory reached for her, sliding his hand along her cheek and around her head to the back of her neck. He pulled her close. Not that she needed much coaxing to come into his arms. She laid her cheek on his chest and sighed.
“Oh God, do you have to smell so good and feel so warm?”
“I could say the same about you, sweetheart.” As much as he loved her close, her hands rubbing softly up and down his bare back, her deep sigh and huge yawn made him gently set her away. “It’s late. You barely slept an hour last night. Get in bed.”
Her eyebrow shot up and a sexy smile tilted her lips. “Oh yeah?”
“Stop. You’re killing me.” Rory leaned down and pulled back the covers.
Sadie sat on the edge of the bed and stared up at him. “Thank you for understanding, taking care of me, and, well, everything.”
He cupped her face, leaned down, and kissed her softly on the lips. With her here in his room, he wanted to take the kiss deep and lose himself in her, but this wasn’t the right time. “No thanks necessary. I’m leaving before I can’t stop myself from finding out what you’ve got on under that nightgown.”
Sadie lay down on her side, her damp hair spread on his pillow. “You know exactly what I don’t have on under the nightgown because you didn’t pack me anything to wear under it. Either it’s your diabolical plan to torture both of us, or you’re just planning ahead for later and saving yourself time getting to me.”
If she wanted to tease him, he was up for the game. He sat beside her on the edge of the bed and stared down at her beautiful, clean face. Without makeup, she appeared younger, more fragile. “It’s both actually. Which is why I haven’t put on a shirt either. To drive you crazy and you’ll have less to take off.”
“I appreciate it. You’re so thoughtful. Are you wearing anything under those sweats?”
“Nothing but skin.”
“Tease.”
Ford and Colt pounded up the stairs and hit the landing, calling, “Night, Sadie and Rory,” as they went down the hall to their bedrooms.
“I’m never going to hear the end of you being here with me.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. She buried her face in his pillow and let the grief she’d held valiantly at bay take her.
Rory brushed his hand over her hair again and again. He soothed her with soft words and promises that everything would be all right while she cried out her grief until she fell asleep, exhausted after all she’d been through the last two days. He pulled the covers up and tucked them around her shoulders. He held her head, leaned down, and kissed her cheek. With his lips a breath away from her ear he whispered the one thing he didn’t have the courage to say to her when she was awake. “I love you.”
He pressed his forehead against her soft skin, inhaled her sweet spring scent, and made himself get up and leave her.
Rory grabbed a shirt from his dresser. He pulled it on over his head on the way downstairs and fell onto his back on the leather sofa, covering his face with both hands and letting out a ragged breath. The last two days weighed on him. He worried about Sadie, her brother, and what came next. One thought refused to leave his overtired mind. Sadie asleep in his bed, ready and willing to take their relationship to the next level. He wanted to take it all the way. Seeing her lying there, so sweet, asleep in his bed, made him want to beg her to stay there for the rest of their lives. She’d think him crazy if he asked her to stay, marry him, build a life with him here on the ranch so soon after they started dating. He’d have to convince her. Actually, he’d have to give her a reason to want to stay.
She definitely felt the connection between them. Did she love him, too?
CHAPTER 19
Sadie ran through the storm across a field, fear driving her to sprint harder. Her breath sawed in and out until she could barely breathe past the tightening band around her chest. Her heart pounded against her ribs until she felt like the bones would snap. The icy rain pelted her bare skin like razor blades. Lightning flashed, revealing the crimson blood running over her skin. Thunder boomed through the night as she ran for the man standing at the other end of the green field. Her father stood with his arms open, ready to take her away from the raging storm. And her life here. She screamed and sat bolt upright in bed, holding her arms up but seeing nothing except her pale skin with the red ring of scars around her wrists.
She sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm her heart, and raked her fingers through her still damp hair, pulling it away from her sweaty face. As the fine sheen of sweat covering her body dried, a chill raced over her skin.
She stared around the unfamiliar room, trying to orient herself. Rory’s room. She was safe. No one lurked in the dark corners. No one was after her. No one screamed for her to help, but only ended up hurting her in the end.
She understood the dark nightmare. Her mind telling her to leave this thing with Connor alone. She couldn’t fix it. If she continued to try, she’d only put herself in harm’s way again. She’d end up dead and reunited with her father. The fear coursed through her, but she still faltered on whether she could turn her back on Conno
r and live with herself.
Sleep eluded her and offered little distraction for her overactive mind that used sleep to make her face things she didn’t want to think about anymore. She threw off the covers and rolled out of bed. The house stood quiet around her. No lights hinted that someone might still be awake as the night neared two in the morning. She padded down the stairs and headed for the kitchen for a glass of water. Luckily a soft night light cast a warm glow over the countertops by the sink. She pulled a glass from the strainer and filled it at the tap.
Drawn into the living room where Rory slept soundlessly on the couch, she stared down at him, smiling to herself that his big frame didn’t quite fit on the sofa. His huge feet sat propped on the armrest. He’d put on a shirt. Too bad. She liked looking at all those muscles. The man was built. Tall and lean. She ached to touch him. She wanted to run her fingers through his thick blond hair.
Moonlight streamed through the window and glinted off his golden beard. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. She liked the scruff. It made him look dangerous, especially when he didn’t smile. Which was less often now when she was with him. He smiled at her all the time. The first time she heard him laugh, her stomach knotted with nerves because she’d wanted to kiss him so bad for looking so good. He’d been sitting at the table with his brothers, talking about their day. Colt told them about how he’d been cleaning out horse stalls. One of the most ornery horses graciously made a fresh mess for him. When Colt cussed, the horse shifted and dumped Colt right on his ass in the pile of horseshit.
Grandpa Sammy nearly choked, coughing and sputtering his favored beer, but Rory tilted his head back and let out a huge belly laugh, the smile on his face making his eyes sparkle with mirth. In that moment, she’d seen the man he was meant to be, not the one he’d grown into as the head of the family and ranch, so filled with responsibility and duty.
She’d remember his laugh for the rest of her life. She hoped to find hers again someday. Right now, her feelings were all mixed up. Grief for her father. Anger for her brother. Fear Derek would find and use her again as leverage against her brother—or worse, as some sick and twisted payment for the debt her brother owed.
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