Regina looked down into the courtyard at the man who had the ability to make the tips of her fingers tingle. The taproom was filled to capacity as usual, mostly with rowdy men eager to recover from a hard day’s work. Some had brought their wives but most were there with friends, eating supper and playing either cards or dice. The smell of ale and roast meat hung thick in the air.
Earlier, before coming up here, Regina had seen a couple of Amourette’s girls. They’d been lounging lazily in a pair of armchairs that stood toward the front of The Black Swan while waiting for potential clients to make their approach. Of greater interest to Regina, was the fight about to start outside. Although Carlton had told her she mustn’t go into the courtyard to watch, he allowed her to view it from the walkway above.
One week. That was how long it had been since he’d rescued her from the barge. In that time, she’d slept with him every night, falling into a blissful slumber after having her wanton needs sated in ways that would once have made her blush. Now she just craved.
Last night had been no different, but although she always insisted he let her reciprocate the favor, he firmly denied her each time. Why, she wasn’t sure, but the fact that he kept on doing so made it feel like a lump of lead had been placed in her heart. It detracted from the experience, denying her the chance to show him how deeply she loved him.
For she could not tell him. Her courage did not reach quite that far. Not when she didn’t think he loved her in return. Cared for her, yes, but loved her? No. Surely he’d offer to marry her if he did, regardless of what he’d initially told her. But there was no indication that he would even consider making that sort of commitment, so she knew, as much as it pained her, that whatever they had would probably not last forever.
The fight began with one boxer punching the other squarely in the face. The crowd cheered, loving the action. Carlton stood on a platform nearby. Dressed in a navy blue velvet jacket, coffee colored breeches and shiny black boots, he looked more dashing than ever as he kept track of the proceedings and accepted bets. The first boxer to take a punch charged his opponent and pummeled him mercilessly until he collapsed on the ground. The crowd roared and additional bets were placed. Carlton glanced up toward her and touched the brim of his hat, acknowledging her presence for the first time since he’d arrived in the courtyard.
A flutter erupted deep in her belly and rose up inside her until it surrounded her heart with a pulsing awareness that made her feel slightly lightheaded. She smiled at him and dipped her chin, holding his gaze for a drawn-out minute until he was forced to turn away and return his attention to the match.
Tonight, she promised herself, she’d find a way to convey her love for him then, even if she had to tie him to the bed. Her lips drew to one side, curling upward. Now there was an intriguing thought. Having Carlton spread out before her like a feast to be savored was even more thrilling than the prospect of what he might do to her next.
It was so inspiring she allowed her mind to focus more fully on the idea for a moment and almost missed the arrival of a new spectator. But the profile, though only briefly glimpsed and now hidden from view, caused her stomach to tighten with unmistakable recognition.
Marcus.
Regina swallowed and gripped the railing in front of her while following him with her eyes. He skirted the edge of the crowd as if searching for something. Dressed in a perfectly tailored jacket that showcased his broad shoulders and solid chest, he was the only man present besides Carlton who looked like he drank from fine crystal glasses and slept with an eiderdown quilt. Which he did.
Regina knew she should turn away, that if she stayed where she was her brother would likely see her. But seeing him, so familiar and yet somehow estranged, was a shock. It froze her in place and stopped her from moving.
His head turned left, right. One of the boxers managed to place a jab under his opponent’s chin. The man staggered and fell, eliciting a cry from the crowd. But Marcus didn’t seem to notice. He appeared to be focused on something else.
Regina’s stomach clenched, the muscles holding on tight while the air in her lungs pressed outward. It wanted to escape but she could not recall how to breathe.
And then Marcus turned, his chin rose toward the sky and his eyes locked with hers. Surprise lit his face while horror sped through her limbs. Time slowed. It felt like she was back underwater, sinking into endless darkness, until she heard her brother’s voice calling her name.
Regina regained her mobility and took a step back, watching as confusion overtook the relief she’d just witnessed upon his face.
She shifted her gaze to Carlton and saw that he’d noticed her brother’s presence. He gestured to MacNeil and together they approached Marcus. Regina edged closer to the solid stability of a wooden pillar supporting the overhang that covered the walkway. She leaned against it and tried to slow her breaths. Marcus appeared to grow more incensed, eyeing her while he spoke in what looked like a clipped tone, judging from the tight set of his mouth. But then Carlton said something – oh, how she wished the crowd still watching the fight would be quiet so she had a chance of hearing the exchange – and Marcus gave a curt nod before following him inside The Black Swan.
Regina sagged against the pillar and blew out a breath. What had Carlton said? Where were the two of them going?
Heavy steps sounded upon the stairs, and her heart convulsed with anxious uncertainty. She pressed her palm to her belly in a pointless attempt at calming the clamoring nerves that were twisting and turning like a fretful creature. The door to the parlor was only a few steps away. If she hurried, she could retreat there before the person approaching found her standing here. Because whoever it was and whatever they wanted, she instinctively knew it wouldn’t be good.
MacNeil turned the corner and came to a halt. “Guthrie would like you to join him in his study.”
She shook her head. Marcus would be there and he’d want to take her home. How could she tell him she didn’t want to go? How could she face him after all the worry she must have caused him? How could she possibly explain that this was where she now belonged?
“I don’t want to,” she whispered. “Please don’t make me.”
Sympathy eased the hard determination in MacNeil’s dark eyes. “I’m sorry, my lady, but I cannae go against Guthrie’s wishes.” He gestured toward the stairs. “Please.”
“My brother won’t leave here without me.”
MacNeil stared back at her for a long moment and then he said, “You must have faith that all will turn out as it should. You must believe in Guthrie.”
Swallowing, Regina took a sharp breath. Why hadn’t Carlton turned her brother away? He could have done so, but instead he’d invited him in. She didn’t understand his reasoning and that only made her more apprehensive. But to stay up here, quaking with fear and unwilling to show her face when he’d asked for her presence, would not only make her a coward, it would also show a lack of trust in the man she loved.
So she cast one last glance at the parlor door beckoning for her to seek refuge, and followed MacNeil downstairs. When she reached Carlton’s study, he and her brother both rose from the chairs in which they’d been sitting.
“Regina.” Marcus rushed toward her and swept her into a tight embrace. Her arms went around him and although she worried what would happen next, she could not resist the familiar comfort he offered, and hugged him back fiercely. “Thank God, I’ve finally found you.”
“Oh, Marcus. I really wish you hadn’t,” she said as he set her back on her feet. Somehow, she’d find a way to explain to him that she couldn’t come with him.
He looked confused. “What are you talking about?” Holding his gaze, she watched as understanding dawned in the depths of his chestnut colored eyes. Pity followed as he carefully said, “I’m sorry, Regina, but you can’t stay here with Guthrie.”
“It’s where I belong now, Marcus. I cannot go home and face Papa.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not the same woman I wa
s before I came here – the sort who’d give up her own happiness just to make a convenient match. Not when my heart wants something else.”
Marcus tightened his jaw and glared at Carlton. “You’ve ruined her, you—” He cut himself off as he glanced at Regina.
“Her innocence remains intact,” Carlton told him smoothly.
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” Marcus pulled Regina back into his arms and whispered close to her ear, “Why does it have to be him?” She couldn’t give a brief answer, so she remained silent instead. He sighed, gave her a squeeze and then said, “You cannot imagine how terrified I’ve been these last weeks. Have you any idea what you put me through?”
“I sent a letter to let you know I was safe,” she told him as they broke apart.
Marcus frowned, his expression a mixture of incredulity and what could only be described as controlled anger. “The only news Father and I received about you came from him.” He pointed at Guthrie while steely disdain darkened his eyes. “The scoundrel wrote that you would find comfort with him in his bed!”
Regina flinched. “What?” She glanced at Carlton with incomprehension, then back at her brother. “No. I don’t believe you.”
Marcus stared at her, then reached inside his breast pocket and retrieved two rumpled pieces of paper that looked like they had been folded and unfolded thousands of times. Regina took them and read while the beat of her pulse grew increasingly unsteady. Until she reached the end of the second letter. A nervous laugh escaped her. “These are both signed V.S.” She handed the letters back to her brother. “Whoever wrote them, it wasn’t Guthrie.” But if it wasn’t him, then who? And what was that bit about her father’s past sins? Nothing made any sense.
As if following her line of thought, Marcus stared back at her. “I’m guessing he used the V.S. to throw us off and keep us from finding you sooner. But Guthrie wrote those letters, Regina.”
Regina laughed. This was ridiculous. “How can you possibly know that?” Carlton might be capable of hurting those who deserved it, but he’d never use her like this. Not when he cared for her as he did. “How can you be so sure?”
Marcus gazed down at her with endless regret. “Because he just told me.”
She shook her head, unwilling to accept what Marcus was saying and turned to Carlton in search of the truth. What she found, was a schooled expression that lacked all emotion. “Yer brother is right.”
Unsettling quivers scurried down her spine. “I don’t understand. What about the letter I asked you to send to Marcus? What happened to that?”
Carlton glanced at MacNeil who stood with his arms crossed next to the door. His answer was precise. “It’s upstairs in my room.”
“No.” Regina pressed her palm to her forehead. Marcus reached out to steady her, his hand at her elbow as he guided her over to the chair he’d been sitting in before she arrived. She sank down onto the seat then looked at Carlton. “The only thing that mattered to me when I came here was making sure Marcus wouldn’t worry. You promised you’d send him that letter and instead…” Instead, he’d sent a taunting threat. And just like that, she grasped hold of the only possible explanation. “You used me to blackmail my father, didn’t you?”
He stared back at her as if she were a stranger, as if she meant nothing to him. And the heart that had swelled with increasing love for him shattered in anguish.
“What about the letters I wrote to Fielding and Yates?”
When Carlton kept quiet, MacNeil slowly said, “They were never delivered either.”
“But…” She blinked rapidly. “I was told Fielding had no interest in forming an attachment with me because he was already courting another young lady.”
“A mere fabrication,” MacNeil said.
Dear God. Regina’s hand clasped the armrest and held on tight while the world she knew spun out of control. “You never meant to let me leave. Did you? You made me stay by letting me think Marcus knew I was safe, that Fielding wasn’t an option for me, and that Yates…” She’d not thought of him in over a week, she’d been so distracted by Carlton. Her eyes began to burn with hot tears as she realized how far he’d gone to deceive her. He’d kissed her, touched her in ways she’d never been touched before and made her feel cherished.
But he didn’t rob you of your innocence. Even though he could have.
He made it clear that you wouldn’t have a future together.
He told you that there was a lot you did not know about him.
And he seemed to believe it would push you away if you ever found out.
“What does V.S. stand for?” she asked, feeling numb.
“They’re just letters,” Carlton told her coolly. “Meant to throw yer family off me scent.”
Regina glanced at a granite paperweight sitting on top of his desk and wondered if now would be the appropriate time to throw it at him. She dug her nails into the armrest and tried to stay calm. “What’s the connection between you and my father?” In retrospect, he’d seemed to get angry whenever they’d spoken of him. “What sin are you referring to?”
“He knows what he did and that’s all that matters. Keepin’ ye here an’ makin’ him squirm is nothin’ compared with his own misdeeds.” He turned away, giving her his back and infuriating her further.
She stood, rounded the desk and stepped right before him so he had no choice but to face her. “You didn’t answer me before when I asked if you were using me to blackmail him.”
A nerve ticked at the edge of his mouth. It was the only indication that her words affected him in some way. “Blackmail wasn’t my goal.” And there was that voice again, soft and different, like that of a man who’d been raised in an affluent home. But then it was gone, hardened by some sort of inner determination when he spoke next. “Torturin’ yer father a little before he an’ I meet again was what I was aimin’ fer. I’ve no doubt in me mind he’ll come find me now, an’ when he does, I’ll be ready.”
“For what?”
He seemed to stare straight through her, his dark eyes piercing her soul. “To take revenge.”
Regina gasped, just enough for Carlton to blink. “Why?”
He seemed to focus more fully on her this time and for a brief second, he looked bewildered, like a lost boy uncertain of which way to go. But then he shuttered the expression and said, “Because ‘e stole from me, and no one does that without payin’ the price.”
A shiver raked her body. She’d seen firsthand what he was capable of – the sort of punishment he delivered to those who crossed him. He’d killed men in front of her eyes. But he’d also saved her, cared for and comforted her. Aligning the two men was not so simple. He’d been fair when it came to the men on the barge. She’d believed they deserved what they got, especially because they were guilty of trading in women and children for their own sexual gratification. Monsters. That was what Carlton had killed.
But her father wasn’t like that. While he might be misguided where she was concerned, he was still good and kind and would never harm anyone else. “You’re wrong,” was all she could think to say.
That nerve at the edge of his mouth twitched again. “I wish I was, but I was there when ‘e did it. I saw ‘im with me own eyes. I…” He gave his attention to Marcus. “Take ‘er ‘ome. Make sure she’s safe. And tell yer father what ye’ve discovered.”
“No.” Regina refused to move. She needed answers, but more than anything she needed to breach this hard shell Carlton had chosen to encase himself in. His remoteness was unsettling and… Did she really mean nothing to him?
It didn’t seem possible. Not when considering the fear he’d shown when he’d thought he might lose her. Surely that couldn’t have been but an act?
She studied him, hoping she’d find the answer in his expression. But the cold detachment she saw there only crushed her spirit more.
“Go,” he told her sternly. “I no longer need ye.”
The words had the desired effect if what he mea
nt was to hurt her. She took a step back. “Why are you doing this?”
His jaw tightened. “Because I have to. Now get out.”
Determined to maintain some sense of dignity, Regina raised her chin and pushed back her shoulders. “Fine.” She spun away and crossed to where Marcus stood waiting. Together, they headed for the door, but before she reached it, she turned back to say one last thing. “Know this, Carlton Guthrie, Scoundrel of St. Giles: I love you. No matter what you decide to do.”
18
Carlton couldn’t move. He stared at the door through which Regina had vanished and did his best to just breathe. Blinking, he struggled to wade through the mess his mind was in. “Did she just say what I think she said?”
“I don’t know,” MacNeil murmured. “I suppose that depends on what it is you think she said.”
Carlton frowned and forced his gaze to MacNeil who was looking at him with what appeared to be innocent uncertainty. But Carlton knew better and his frowned deepened as a result. “I did the right thing,” he grumbled, even though his chest felt hollow. The heart Regina had brought back to life had hardened and crumbled within the last hour.
“Of course,” MacNeil said.
Carlton eyed him once more. “She’ll be better off with her family.”
“Mmm…hmm.”
“It was nice having her here for a while, but we both knew it couldn’t last. I told her that. I made sure she knew right from the start that she’d have to leave me one day.”
“Leave you?”
“I mean here. The Black Swan.” A horrible ache grasped his lungs and the next breath he drew was more of a wheeze. He coughed and clasped the edge of his desk. “I had a plan, Blayne.”
“Plans do occasionally change, Val.”
“Not this one.” Christ almighty! The effort it took to sound even remotely convincing was draining his energy fast. “And don’t call me that.”
“Sorry. But it is your name and we are alone.” Furrows appeared on Blayne’s forehead, drawing his eyebrows together. Silently, he collected the brandy decanter and filled a couple of glasses with the amber liquid. He gave one to Carlton. “Drink. You’ll feel better about all of this if you do.”
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