Storytelling

by Keith Coleman

  Offer verbal acknowledgment in the form of appreciation, shock, amazement, surprise and so on by using appropriate language expressions. Complement this with the right gestures, facial expressions, tone, and body language. It is important for the speaker to know that he/she has created the intended/desired impact over you through the story or anecdote. I also like asking people questions related to the story or anecdote they’ve just shared to reinforce my interest and understanding. It tells the speaker that you’ve been listening to them in a focused and interested manner, which instantly makes them take to you.

  Effective listening is a huge component of being a competent communicator. Social skills and communication aren’t simply about talking nineteen to a dozen for impressing people. It is always about lending a patient, empathetic and keen ear to others. When you make interactions more about other people and less about yourself, you win.

  10. Does it have an entertainment value? – Keep your story or anecdote in social conversations extra short if it doesn’t offer much entertainment value. I know plenty of people who exaggerate, especially while narrating personal anecdotes. However, avoid lying and misleading people. Exaggeration for the purpose of increasing a story’s entertainment value is fine as long as it doesn’t mislead, misinform, harm or hurt people. The intentions behind exaggerating the story are what matters. Imagine how ridiculous you will sound if you narrate a story about being abducted by extraterrestrials when you clearly weren’t. As much as possible, keep your accounts genuine and authentic, especially in informal social conversations.

  Typically, you should also be able to signal to your listener or listeners that the story or anecdote is completed. This can be done by saying, “that’s it”, or “that’s all that happened”, or “and that’s my alien encounter story.” Like you offer a signpost before beginning a story, offer a signpost after concluding the story. At times, the listener may think you have something to add to the story or may not realize that it has wrapped up. This is when a clear “story has ended” verbal signpost gives them the idea that you’ve finished narrating.

  Chapter 4:

  Elements of a Powerful Story

  We briefly discussed the elements of a good story in an earlier chapter. However, here we take a detailed look at what a distinguished story bore people to death from stories that make them sit up and notice. If you use these elements in your storytelling, you most likely have listeners hanging on to every word you speak and go back with the intended objective or impact.

  Here are the elements of a powerful story.

  1. The dramatic aspect of your story should be strong – You can’t weave a story centered around on the idea that “a person eats eggs and ham for breakfast.” Will it grab people’s attention? No! Why? Because it doesn’t say anything extraordinary. Millions of people around the world have eggs and ham for breakfast.

  Now contrast this with, “a person has eggs and ham for breakfast, but no one knows the ham is made of human flesh.” Eek! Now, this is story-worthy. It instantly sparks your attention and probably very strong emotions. You are repulsed by the idea. It’s dramatic and sensational. A story should have an element of drama to grab people’s attention and intrigue them. They should want to know more about it. If you talk to me about a person eating human flesh for breakfast, I’d obviously want to know more about it. Drama packs the required punch in your tale.

  We’ve all heard how a dog biting a man isn’t newsworthy. However, a man biting a dog becomes breaking news. You have to create drama by weaning in the unexpected if you want people to be hooked. There has to be an element of shock, surprise, novelty or sensationalism to grab the listener’s attention. A story or anecdote will seldom be interesting for the listener in the absence of drama.

  What are some elements that can be used to create drama?

   Surprise, shock or sensationalism

   Suspense

   Tension

   Challenges

   Out of character human behavior

   Unusual occurrences or events that do not usually occur

   Controversy

   Mystery

   Conflict

  The example we mentioned about human flesh comprises a majority of these elements. A majority of people find cannibalism repulsive. It is out of the ordinary behavior for a person to consume human flesh. It is a highly sensational and controversial matter. There are tension and suspense (someone has been killed obviously). You want to know about this mysterious person who is consuming human flesh.

  I am not implying that drama always equals disturbing, shocking, sensational and controversial content. It can also be a small detail such as whether an employee who pretended to be loyal yet went on a stealing rampage throughout the office was finally caught. Do you get the idea? Build drama around your stories to make them more interesting.

  There has to be some sort of turmoil, struggle or challenge that leads to a more positive and hopeful resolution in the end. Drama makes the other person want to listen to you further. “I met a terrible accident a few years ago, and was unable to walk.” Now the listener is captivated because he/she wants to know how you overcame the situation. Conflict takes your story ahead. Compare these two narratives.

  “I completed my graduation with top honors and took up a well-paying job in the banking sector. Owing to my diligence and hard work, I was quickly promoted to the position of an assistant manager. Then, I became a manager owing to my leadership, people development and mentoring skills. Later, I was promoted to the position of a senior manager. Today, due to my people skills, hard work and sincerity, I am General Manager of business banking.”

  “I completed my graduation with top honors and was employed by a top banking for a much-coveted position. Soon, owing to my hard-work and diligence, I was promoted to the post of an assistant manager. This was followed by two quick promotions to the level of manager and senior manager. I was slated to be at the top of my career when I lost my limbs in a freak accident. I was unable to walk for more than a couple of years. Life came to a standstill. But not the one to give up, I picked up the pieces of my life once again. With the help of artificial limbs, I began walking and going to work again. It was tough in the beginning. Sitting for long was a challenge. I began to feel depressed and irritable. However, my co-workers were a huge support. They supported, encouraged and inspired me to do my best. Here I am today, General Manager, business banking.”

  Which of the two stories has a greater impact or is more moving? Obviously the second one! The story has a clear arc. There are highs and lows in the narrative. It starts on a positive note, followed by a tragedy or personal conflict, finally ending with a resolution. It takes the story ahead or gives it the so-called a ‘twist in the tale.’ The former doesn’t have a narrative arc. It is flat, an all-positive story that is devoid of challenges or conflicts. The end doesn’t resonate very well with the viewers because it’s flat-out boring. Nobody gets into trouble or faces a challenging situation. There is neither an internal or external conflict. Everything hunky dory doesn’t make for a good story.

  2. Create memorable, identifiable and realistic/believable characters – This is huge. It can make or break your story, and/or its intended impact. Why do we remember some characters over others? Simply because they have a unique persona intriguing/perplexing motives, unusual flaws and/or strengths or they have a very distinct appearance (notice how while talking about a person, we may not remember their name but we can describe them vividly to help the other person understand whom we are referring to).

  Would you remember the characters in your story if you stood in a queue after them for 10-15 minutes? What makes the people in your story so special? While using characters in your personal conversations, seminars, business presentations, and other situations ensure you keep them relatable and identifiable. Yes, there has to be an element of uniqueness and novelty, but people should be able to relate with a “youngster just out of university a
t the crossroads of life, not knowing what career to pursue.” There should be something about the character that resonates with people at a primal, emotional level.

  If you want your listener or audience to relate to the character on a personal level, never forget to share their origins. “So I came across this young boy who attended one of my seminars. He came from a small English village and was eager to live the American dream. His parents were farmers and couldn’t give him the best life. However, he managed to get scholarships and earned his degree through sheer determination and hard work.”

  You are creating an inspiring character by referencing his background, which lends greater context to the story. An audience comprising people who have small-town origins and plan to get a degree may identify with the youth mentioned in your story. Establish the character’s motives, goals, objectives, and purpose throughout the story. It’ll make these characters come across as more connect-worthy and relatable. When people connect with your characters on an emotional level, you’ve won the audience.

  Pay attention to details about the character if you want to make them more memorable. For instance, “The lad came up to me and said I want to make it big in life” doesn’t have as much impact as, “The tall, lanky lad walked up to me and almost yelled in his typical regional Yorkshire accent that he wanted to make it really big.” Focus on the character’s expressions, quirky traits, slang and much more to make your description more interesting and identifiable. When it comes to stories, the good is truly in the details.

  How does the person look? What was he/she wearing? What was the color of their eyes – all this can add more interesting dimensions to the story. Of course, it will eventually depend on the type of audience you are addressing, the purpose of storytelling, the available time and more. However, detailed stories make a more memorable impact (since they create more vivid sensory experiences and are retained in the mind) than stories that simply skim through the surface to convey general ideas, thoughts, and emotions.

  Relatability is a huge factor when it comes to moving or persuading people with stories. Avoid using far-fetched and out of the world characters that the listener or audience struggles to relate to. There should be a common connect, something they identify with at a deeper level. The listener should be able to identify with the character or feel that this is them or something they are going through in their life. It increases the impact of your narrative. Create situations that your listener can effortlessly relate to.

  3. The opening should be attention-grabbing and dazzle worthy – A powerful story instantly captivates your attention and makes you want to hear more. A good opening should be like a teaser. It should tantalize listeners with partial information. You whet their appetite and leave them hungry. Make them wait eagerly for the tale to unfold. Leave them gasping for more.

  Take this opening, for example, “I walked into a room full of people who couldn’t stop laughing at me.” Now obviously as a listener or an audience member, you want to know why people were laughing at the narrator. He/she has grabbed your attention with a teaser opening. You want to know how the narrator found himself/herself in the middle of a potentially awkward situation, and the events that followed.

  Avoid opening your stories by stating the obvious or ordinary if you want to pull your audience or listener into the narrative. Consider the impact of an opening like, “I am a university professor, and begin my lectures at 8 am each morning” What is so striking or intriguing about a university professor beginning his/her lectures at 8 am each morning? As an audience, you’ll be like, “come on now, please get to the point quickly.” It makes you bored and impatient. There’s nothing arresting or unusual there. In fact, it is downright dull.

  Use an opening that sets the right tone, momentum, and rhythm for the story. You won’t obviously reveal everything there is to the story in the opening, but you’ll set the theme so the listener more or less knows what to expect.

  There isn’t a thumb rule for powerful openings though in general, they should be slightly extraordinary, surprising or shocking. At times, depending on the situation and people, you may have to play down some elements. Use your people reading and intuitive skills to know how to open a story for making the desired impact. Different people respond differently to different scenarios. Use icebreakers with your listeners or audience to get a feel of their likes and dislikes. You don’t want to offend or annoy them with your opening. Similarly, you don’t want the opening to be weak and ineffective either.

  Instead of making abstract points that few people are able to comprehend at the beginning (you’ll leave the majority feeling that the story is not for them, and they’ll quickly switch off); the opening should be clear, intriguing and brief. Don’t lay down all your cards at the beginning of your story. Give people a reason to sit back, and listen. Also, there’s no rule that stories should always begin from the beginning if you know what I mean.

  You can cut forward to a recent incident and then go back to later events. This makes your narrative faster paced and interesting. Remember, your opening sets the tone for the rest of the story. Make it compelling and attention-grabbing.

  Another thing is that most communicators fail to grasp is to have a unique voice while opening and narrating stories. You should have your own distinct narration style that is different others, and your opening should sufficiently convey this.

  For example, wry humor may be one narrator’s style, while the other may use sarcasm. Another story-teller may be downright hilarious and vivid in their descriptions. Some storytellers thrive on descriptions and detailed observations, while others love to pepper their stories with smart one-liners. Identify your style based on your objectives and personality, and keep it more or less consistent throughout the story. Develop a clear narrative to distinguish yourself from other storytellers and conversationalists.

  If you use too many different styles throughout the story or open using one style, and quickly to switch to another, your listeners may feel exhausted and annoyed trying to keep up with multiple styles. Ensure your opening line or lines establish the narration style you plan to use throughout the story.

  4. It has a valuable takeaway – Good stories always help the audience leave with a valuable take away. To convey the truth or facts you can use charts, statistics, graphs and bullet points. This will establish the truth scientifically, but may not move your audience or listener into taking action or give them something valuable to ponder about. Stories, on the other hand, can work on raw emotions. For example, let us say you are talking to an audience, person or group of people about greater customer service. You are trying to awaken them to the importance of exceptional customer service in today’s competitive business world. Let them go back with an actionable, clear and practical solution with a story.

  Now you have two options. Either list all characteristics of a competent customer service professional (you should be this and that, etc. to be a great customer service professional) or narrate a powerful personal anecdote mentioning how you went out of the way to serve a customer in need.

  You are leaving your audience with a powerful takeaway, about what good customer is. They understand and implement your suggestions even more effectively. You have not just told them what to do, but also presented an example of how it is to be done, and given them clear pointers to take home. It inspires them to offer good customer service, and create a positive overall experience for buyers. A personal anecdote clarifies exactly what you are trying to convey.

  Chapter 5:

  Pointers for Narrating Powerful Anecdotes

  We all agree by now that stories and anecdotes are the lifeblood of our social interactions. They not just enliven any conversation, but are also responsible for our collective community values and ethos. We connect at a deeper level with other people through the power of stories. An anecdote is a short, simple story that we tell people on an everyday basis while chatting with them. It can be an incident that occurred to us o
r something that happened to a person we know or a childhood memory. At times you tell someone how something that happened to you taught you an important lesson.

  Since anecdotes by their nature are not as structured as regular stories and are more ubiquitous, the narrator doesn’t put in a lot of effort in mastering the storytelling art and craft. You won’t practice narrating an anecdote. You may just come across a situation at a party and narrate an anecdote related to it. It’s more spontaneous and spur of the moment than practiced and rehearsed.

  What makes anecdotes so appealing? When you are attempting to establish a relationship with people, it is important to keep them engaged, entertained and informed. Anecdotes do all this and more.

  Fundamentally, anecdotes are brief accounts or narratives of true stories involving us or other people. Narrators are generally the protagonists in their anecdotes, and they are used more in casual, social situations, though there is nothing that stops people from using it to make official speeches or presentations more entertaining.

  Notice how you’ll be talking to a person you’ve met at a party, and they’ll start telling you about an incident involving traffic cops that happened on their way to the party. The purpose is to inform, amuse, entertain or make you aware of something. Anecdotes add more a more interesting dimension to your social interactions. These are stories you share to reveal your personal side in social situations. People get to know more about you in an entertaining manner.

  Think of the difference between telling a person you enjoy playing golf and narrating an account where you developed an interest for golf and how you recently won a local golf championship tournament. The latter will be more evocative and interesting in communicating your passion for golf.

  Entertaining people make them develop positive feelings towards you. When you make others in a conversation feel good, they are more inclined to trust you. Don’t you relate better to people who share fun and interesting personal information about themselves? Also, anecdotes are a wonderful way to get people to share a bit about themselves too. When you share personal information or accounts about yourself, you are opening the door to let the other person share interesting personal information with you, thus paving the way for a meaningful and memorable interaction.