The popularity of anecdotes is at an all-time high owing to social media. It’s an age of short, pitchy narrations that grab people’s attention while establishing a connection with them. We have in effect become quick-cut dialogue makers. Say something quick and effective, and move on! Each time Facebook asks you, “What’s on your mind?”, aren’t you tempted to share something that happened on your way to the gym or while driving to work?
A major difference between anecdotes and stories is that anecdotes relate to facts – “We dropped little Joshua to preschool this morning and it was raining heavily. We were already running, the car broke down on the way, we got completely drenched and fell sick.” It is a narration of facts as they happened. Some people love to add drama by exaggerating it (when it becomes more of a structured story). But by and large, anecdotes are about facts.
On the other hand, a story generally has a more structured beginning, middle and conclusion. While an anecdote entices, a story offers enticement and insight. It gives you something to reflect upon in the end.
To create an effective dinner party or social gathering story or anecdote, think about an incident which you have an overpowering urge to describe to other people. I don’t know if it has ever happened to you, but a lot of times when something interesting happens with me, I feel compelled to describe it to others. Think of such instances. There may be incidents that friends ask you to share several times. Give it more thought. Flesh it out into an arresting anecdote with more value and meaning.
However, there are powerful tips to perfect the art of narrating anecdotes. There can never be definitive techniques for something as personal and varied as storytelling. However, there are lots of proven methods that can help you become a better conversationalist by peppering your interactions with interesting and engaging anecdotes.
Here are some of the elements of impactful anecdotal stories.
1. Link them to a value after defining the stakes – In any gripping anecdote, the subjects either gain or lose. The anecdote falls flat on its face without this element. You’ll come across as dull and boring if there’s nothing at stake for the involved parties. Now, this shouldn’t lead you to stretch facts or resort to lies. Simply understand the objective of narrating the anecdote. Why are you narrating this specific anecdote in the context of your conversation, training or speech? What do you hope to gain from it? What will your listener/listeners take back from it? Once you decipher all this it is easier to organize your thoughts.
Are you trying to communicate a value? Are you trying to acquaint the listener/listeners with values such as loyalty, punctuality, friendship, honesty? Link the value or the lack of this value to the stakes within your anecdote. For example, how a person lost something because of dishonesty (lack of value) or how an employee gain something because of his/her loyalty (presence of the value). Connect the winning and losing closely with the values (or lack of them) that you intended to communicate. By linking the stakes to clear values, the canvas of your anecdote will slowly begin to emerge.
For instance, let us say you are having a conversation with some people at a social gathering about parking authorities, and someone comments about how unfair and ‘on the prowl’ local parking authorities are. You wholeheartedly agree and think of sharing an anecdote about a recent incident that reinforces this view, and how you responded to it to escape their malpractices. Now, you have a rough framework of the story.
The initial view is the local parking authorities are unfair.
The value response is you must be on guard and alert all the time, including watching out for the meter time, status tags, your civic right and more.
The reinforcing scenario is something that proves the original view that the city’s parking authorities are unfair, where you had to suffer or bear the consequences of not being aware and alert. Here, the stakes are the consequences you had to undergo. It could be having your car forfeited for a day or pay a hefty fine.
The value assertion is another situation, which also reinforces the original view. However, this time your actions can be slightly different. This time you are aware of the authority’s malpractices and create a plan to foil it. Their regular traps fall flat. As a result, you save yourself from the negative consequences that you’d have to otherwise suffer.
To convey your point even more effectively and make things more gripping, you can increase the stakes within the second scenario by not only talking about the fines and impounding act but also running late for a crucial job interview. You added another stake to make the anecdote even more compelling. So the stakes aren’t just limited to the authority’s unfair practices, but also another negative consequence you had to endure as a result of it or managed to escape owing to your presence of mind.
Finally, the payoff is the lesson, value or moral of the story. In the above example, it is about the importance of being more alert and aware of the malpractices of local parking authorities. You can end with something memorable and feel-good, such I managed to make it in time for my date, and I am now married to him/her.
You’ve now built the framework, an original view, engaging stakes, and appropriate values that characterize great anecdotal pieces.
2. Begin the action – At the beginning of an anecdote, we are only too tempted to invest more time offering unnecessary introductory information. This makes the anecdote lose its power. In the absence of action, it’ll most likely fade into oblivion. Let us compare two openings here.
“I am a public relations professional. I frequently have to wait until my clients come to me with assignments. During one such waiting period, I was chatting with a close friend who is also my legal consultant. We were having coffee at a local café when I received information on an assignment to cover a brand in Los Angeles. My friend thought the entire thing didn’t sound too genuine and asked if he could accompany me. We rented a convertible, packed in a lot of hard liquor, and took off for the job.”
I bet you won’t be able to go beyond the first few lines. It is downright dull and unimaginative. There is no action. The only thing remotely arresting here seems to be packing of hard liquor while setting out for a job. Why not begin with the interesting part then grab the listener’s attention? If you insert it in the end, the listener may switch off before you reach the end.
Now compare this with the following paragraph.
“I don’t know where we were, but somewhere in no man’s land en route to Los Angeles. The liquor had begun to take its toll. My friend started saying, “I feel giddy. Maybe, it isn’t a good idea for me to drive.” This was followed by an ear-shattering sound around us, a terrifying roar!”
Begin with action so you have the listener’s attention and then go about weaving in other details instead of making it a boring account filled with unnecessary and unimportant details. As a listener, you’ll be bored to death if you have gone over a detailed account with no action in sight. You’ll be waiting for something to happen, but the story doesn’t move ahead with the appropriate action.
Avoid being hung up on unnecessary details. Look at the lines below. “It was an early Tuesday morning when we came across a strange smell emitting from the door to the other side of the hall. Hold on, it’s a Wednesday. It was early Wednesday morning. No, that doesn’t feel right either. Was it actually a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday morning?” As a listener you want to scream, “How does it matter? Go on and tell me what that strange smell was!” Unless you are writing a novel, it doesn’t really matter!
I mean these details would be vital to the story if you’re crafting a murder mystery or establishing an alibi timeline, etc. This isn’t about the murder investigation, timelines, and alibis. Don’t fret about details when it comes to anecdotes unless they are integral to the story. If you can’t recollect anything, leave it. If you can, mention it. Anecdotes are seldom about these details.
Take for instance you are sharing a childhood experience or incident. Will the listener care if you get the day or
month right?
3. Avoid getting verbose or diatribe – There are some instances where it’s fine to rant. Think political speeches, election campaigns, lecture hall, television debates and so on. However, they are meant for a clear purpose. However, social or dinner table conversations over drinks don’t necessarily have to polarize people, bore them to death or embarrass them. Try not to divert yourself from a great story by ranting or making it a verbose account.
You can duck plenty of uncomfortable situations by avoiding controversial rants. Try avoiding them, and listeners will more often than not ask you for more insightful, engaging and interesting experiences. There’s something about sharing anecdotes that help people go back with a powerful takeaway. It makes you a far more engaging conversationalist than sermonizing or stating facts. Focus more on the impact than details. What emotions are you trying to awaken in people? What is the feeling you are attempting to communicate? Are you getting them to feel fear, happiness, frustration, helplessness, danger and so on? Focus on putting across the right feeling rather than being stuck with details.
Some of the best anecdotes are those that allow the listeners to experience the exact same feelings you went through when the incident/anecdote you are narrating occurred. Describe the events and experiences that made you feel the emotions you want to activate in your listeners. Keep it short, impactful and simple. Each time I find myself in a situation where I am stuck with details while narrating an anecdote; I simply say “anyway” and move on to focus on the emotional impact or main matter.
Your objective should be to get everyone together not polarize or break people apart through the anecdotes.
Also, avoid showing off. No one enjoys being around social peacocks who don’t connect at the human level. People may listen to you to get you off their back quickly, but they’ll seldom connect with you at a deeper level if you come across as a conceited person or show off. Even when the stakes are pretty high, do not be afraid to reveal your vulnerability. People who make their selves look slightly silly, almost always win it over those who fake perfection. You may not have the most serious conversations with people by revealing your silly or more vulnerable side, but you’ll manage to break the ice, and that’s huge! Conversation starters are critical, and some crack-in can help you.
4. Have a precise and clear ending – Your anecdotal story should offer a closure to the listener. It’s not a murder mystery series where you leave with a cliffhanger. Wrap all the loose ends logically in the end so it all adds up and there’s closure.
Don’t allow your ending to meander all over the place or allow it to halt in the middle of nowhere. You’ll most likely leave your audience feeling cheated for giving you time and attention. Even if you don’t have the answers, try ending with details you know for sure. Throw in a provocative question for good measure. Leave behind a solid impact even if can’t answer all questions. At times, creating an alternate ending or hypothetical closure also works in the absence of all available answers. You can then logically transition into another topic.
5. Write it – Some people find sharing an anecdote easier if it’s written. This is especially true for people who are not very confident or awkward when it comes to striking a conversation or approaching strangers. They’ll often think they are not good storytellers, wonder what their audiences will think or whether their stories will have the desired impact. Think about the objective of the anecdote, and start writing in a journal.
List some of your favorite anecdotes, and make an effort to use them throughout your conversations and interactions. Edit wherever required according to the tips mentioned in the post. Your anecdotes will develop a greater level of clarity, fun and engagement value.
You can use these anecdotes everywhere from job interviews (yes they are sure to win any interviewer who has to sit through a hundred drab interviews throughout the day) to wedding toast, cocktail parties, or business networking events. This fleshed out a variant that you have just written will come to you easily and more confidently because you’ve already written it once. Your story will leave people dazzled, and create the intended impact. Winning and re-telling anecdotes will become easier when you write them in a more structured manner. You’ll develop better storytelling skills in the long run.
6. Find the perfect moment – Anecdotes are generally narrated during more informal, social sharing sessions. Don’t push your anecdote into the conversation simply because I’ve told you it makes you come across as an interesting conversationalist. It should add value to the overall conversation and sharing. The subject of your anecdote should be relevant to the general feel and the topic of your conversation. If the topic revolves around inflation, and you narrate an anecdote that highlights your luxury travel experiences around the world or the problems in today’s education system, it just doesn’t make sense. You’ll only come across as insensitive to the topic of discussion or plain irrelevant. Don’t use anecdotes to hijack or force a conversation. There are appropriate moments and topics to share in your anecdote. Your anecdote should add value to the conversation.
For example, let’s say someone is talking about the challenges of finding a suitable rental accommodation in the city. This is when you can share an anecdote about painful experiences with your landlord. Similarly, when someone speaks about impolite and inconsiderate customer service by the airline staff while traveling, you can share your experiences with rude airline personnel.
At times, socially awkward people are not very comfortable opening the topic for discussion, yet they are eager to come across as engaging and entertaining conversationalists. In such a scenario, initially let other people take the lead when it comes to picking a topic for discussion. Follow this up with your own anecdotes when they finish speaking about a topic. This way, you won’t feel pressurized to initiate a topic, but will still add to the conversation in an engaging and meaningful manner. Find an opportune moment to jump in, and make the most of it.
7. Use the appropriate narrative tenses – A majority of times, we narrate stories and anecdotes in the past tense, like something that occurred in the past. You can use simple past, past perfect or past continuous tenses for your narration. Here’s how you can best use these tenses. Past simple can be employed to explain primary actions in the fundamental part of the story.
For instance, “I saw a huge spaceship descending to the ground, and halted my car. The objects around me started floating automatically. I witnessed a dazzling light flash, and before I knew it awoke in a forest with excruciating body pain.” Past simple tense is generally used when you have to convey shorter and more impactful or shocking scenarios. These are fast-paced and more unexpected actions that happen in quick succession.
Now if it’s a more elaborate moment to moment action, you may have to adopt past continuous as your narration tense. It is also used to elaborate on the situation when the primary events occurred. Past continuous lends context or sets the scene for the anecdote. For instance, “I was driving late in the night through the countryside when I spotted something rather unusual.” You are creating a setting and context for the events to unfold.
When two events occur at the same time, past continuous tense is used for the longer event or action. The longer action begins, followed by an interruption by the briefer past simple event, and finally, the longer continues if required. For example, “I was attempting to recall where I was when suddenly these people in gray suits showed out of nowhere and began asking me personal questions.”
Past perfect is generally used for giving a backstory or background to the main anecdote. Employ past perfect tense when you want to refer to events that happened before the main action or event in your anecdote. For example, “I narrated about how I had been camping in a tent bang in the middle of a forest and that I’d awakened to visit the toilet, and couldn’t locate my tent. That is why I was sleeping under the tree. I told people how I hadn’t spotted any aliens or anything similar.” Past perfect isn’t easily not
iceable by the listener. The “had” is slightly contracted and can be easy to miss.
While past simple is the most common tense form used for narrating stories and anecdotes, past continuous and past perfect lend it greater depth, layers, and range. Practice using a combination of these three tenses in varying degrees to improve the impact of your narration. Think carefully about how they can be employed to describe various events in the story or anecdote.
Chapter 6:
Using Storytelling for Sales, Business and Professional Networking
A story can literally sell for you. Yes, this isn’t an overstatement or exaggeration. You can carry an entire sale based on a single, powerfully narrated story. You don’t believe me? Have you seen the 80s blockbuster Top Gun? It is about two dashing and dapper naval pilots who are offered the opportunity with the best pilots on earth at the much sought after “Top Gun” pilot school. It was the ultimate sales letter anyone could ever write
Why do you ask?
Ray-Ban Aviators sold like crazy, witnessing a whopping 40 percent increase in their sales figures. Air Force and Navy recruitment soared. It sold the idea that it’s cool to be a fighter pilot, so much so that recruitment booth had to be set up in theaters screening the movie. This is the power of a well-told story in selling.
Did anyone in the movie urge the audience to buy the sunglasses or join the Air Force/Navy? Both these products/ideas were more than successfully sold to plenty of people. How can this be applied to your promotional and marketing efforts?
Storytelling Page 9
