One night I noticed that she was taller. When did she grow up? I asked myself. The way I measured it was her height in the doorway. I made marks, nearly invisible marks, with a pencil taped to a ruler. The highest I could reach with pencil and my arm from the wheelchair was five feet ten inches. The last time she came through the doorway she was five feet eight inches tall. She had youthful beauty the kind that comes from freshly stretched skin and an inner happiness. Even when she frowned, the effect was pleasing. Her brown, green-flecked eyes, her lips and hourglass figure—which she hid most of the time—made her an outwardly attractive girl. The depth of her soul, her kindness and her genuine joy at being with you and her interest in you made you realize that she was infinitely lovelier than could be discerned by a casual glance.
A pretty girl would catch my eye now and then—especially at college. But after five seconds of conversation with them, I knew that none of them was half the woman Lindsey was. Most of them had no idea where real beauty came from or what it was. They were trading on their outer beauty to get them through life. They were not kind unless it got them something; they were not helpful unless the spotlight was on them; and they were not wise. Some of them were smart with knowledge but they were not wise enough to listen to a child, hear an old woman, give a man respect or counsel a boy about girls. Most of them missed it because they were so concerned about how people viewed them that they could not see others. Most of them only pretended to be interested in others.
Lindsey was easily the Valedictorian. Her grade point average never dropped below 4.0 the entire four years of High School. She took her SATs and scored 1560 the first time and 1570 the second time. It was not a perfect 1600, but it was in the top one percent.
She would not practice the speech in front of me. She wanted me to hear it for the first time when she gave it in front of the school on graduation night. I was anxious to hear what she had to say.
When she got up to give that valedictorian speech, I predicted there would not be a dry eye in the house. I also predicted that everyone would go out of that place richer for having been there.
On graduation night, I was a nervous wreck. I knew Lindsey would do very well but I was sweating bullets anyway. The gymnasium was packed and the air was hot already from all the bodies. I had a prime location, near the front of the gym on the floor. I would only be a dozen paces from Lindsey when she stood to give her speech. The school had arranged a platform for her to stand on so that everyone could see her.
When the moment came, I felt a shiver run up and down my back. I felt like chewing my fingernails and hiding at the same time. Instead, I reminded myself that I was going to be the strong one for Lindsey—just as I had promised in New York. I sat up straight, smiled and relaxed as much as I could. She could read tension in my body better than anyone could, and I wanted her to see me calm.
Lindsey had the single gold tassel and the pin. When the Principal announced her as the Valedictorian speaker, a hush ran through the audience. It was as if everyone had come just for this moment. She got up, walked quickly to the platform, and stepped up onto it. Her smile radiated through the gymnasium, lighting it. Her hair hung loosely over her shoulders and she appeared to be relaxed. I caught my breath as she glanced toward me.
“Everyone tells us that we are about to begin the great adventure of life. I don’t agree. Everyone says that preparation time is over. Again, I don’t agree. They, the folks who profess to speak for high school graduates everywhere, say that the greatest days of our lives are ahead of us. But what makes that so?”
There was stunned silence and a slight twitter moved through the assembled students. Gray heads in the bleachers caught their collective breath and leaned forward.
“We are what we are today because we chose to be what we are. Nothing that you are has been thrust upon you—it was chosen by you. You became you because of how you met the hard times of your life. You became what you are by how you skated or persevered in the lazy or easy times of your life. You will be what you can be only if you rise to the challenge of becoming—not coasting. Benjamin Franklin’s secret of success is your secret to a successful life—one that means something to you. Ben said, ‘I never put off until tomorrow, the thing that I can do today.’ That little saying is the motto a successful person’s life. Never fail to study today or say hello to a hurting person or kiss your best friends’ hurts today. Never fail to tell someone today that you appreciate them, love them, and cherish them. Never fail to see the good in someone when it is disguised by hurt, sorrow and fear. Never fail to meet the challenges of today, today. Pay your debts today. And most of all; live today as if you won’t have tomorrow. That is what Ben Franklin meant.”
Lindsey paused and looked over a quiet crowd.
“We are not about to begin the greatest adventure of our lives, my friends. We are in the greatest adventure. It started when you took your first breath and it may be over tomorrow for some of us. What if you don’t have tomorrow? Ben Franklin’s words are sharply in focus. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
“And what about preparation time; is it over? No. It is always going on. You are preparing to be tomorrow’s person today. We are preparing to be moms, dads, and grandparents today and if we do not know that, we will be untrue to what we could have been. You and I have struggled for twelve years—some of us a little longer—…”
There was a rush of laughter and then quiet.
“…and we are today the result of those struggles. Each day we add preparation for the day beyond.
“Do not put off until tomorrow what can be done today.”
With that, she sat down.
The audience knew Lindsey’s character. She was the girl who helped others study. She was the girl who welcomed the new kids and did not react to the clique’s barbs and jibes. She was the single girl to win the New York Invitational Chess Tournament. Now they rose to their feet as one person and clapped in one sustained roar.
Chapter 14
My first pain-free night since the cramps began happened in June. I was so relieved that I told my mom and dad about it at breakfast. I had lain awake all night waiting for the cramps to hit. Mom and dad checked the calendar. “It’s early for that,” mom said happily.
“I know. Everything seems to be speeding up.” I was tired. “I think I’ll take a nap before Lindsey comes over today.”
I wanted to talk to my parents about Lindsey. Lindsey and I had talked about marriage and we were both in agreement that it would happen, but I still wanted to do some things the old-fashioned way. The first thing I had to do was ask my mom and dad for their blessings. I did that in the middle of June.
Mom and dad listened to me as I asked for their blessing. It was the first foray into the chancy territory of getting parental approval. I knew my parents were solidly behind me. That’s why it was easier to start with them. It was the right place to start, no matter what.
I felt as if Lindsey’s speech was meant for one person in that audience alone: me. She was telling me not to put off the hardest thing I would have to do—ever. I needed to talk to her parents about our desire to be married. I drew courage from her speech. I think the hundreds in the audience that night did too.
My mom and dad listened to me and then dad spoke. “Son, Lindsey is the finest girl two people could ever wish for in a daughter-in-law. She’s already like a daughter to us.” He stopped. I could tell he was getting emotional or that he was struggling to control his emotions. “We certainly will give you two our blessing. You will never have a handicap when you marry her. And, I wish for you all the happiness that marriage has to offer.”
My mom wiped tears from her eyes. “I don’t know if I ever told you this in any of our talks,” she said. “I came up the steps to the room…I think it was the first or second day Lindsey came to see you.” Her eyes twinkled at the memory. “She burped just as I stepped into the room and you nearly fell on the floor because you laughed so hard. Jimmy,
I never thought I would hear you laugh again!” Tears filled her eyes. “I fell in love with Lindsey then. Nothing—I mean it—nothing has changed my mind about her! She’s honest, caring and devoted to you.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “When I hear you talk about her, I’m thrilled.”
She looked at me steadily for a moment and then smiled. “You asked me once if it was okay to love Lindsey…I haven’t changed my mind, Jimmy.” Again, she paused to swallow. “I love Lindsey. I love her. You marry her, Jimmy.”
I wanted to get their advice about the Andersons but I knew what I had to do.
I dropped Lindsey off at the mall telling her that I needed to see someone about a very important proposal. She waved goodbye and blew me a kiss. Because I could not go with her, she was meeting Cindy.
I had made an appointment with her parents and asked them to keep it a secret from Lindsey. They agreed, thankfully. I drove back home with my speech and hopes rushing full throttle through my head.
Mrs. Anderson offered me a coke and I accepted gratefully. They sat down on the couch side by side and looked at me.
“Thank you for meeting with me,” I said nervously. They smiled at my nervousness but said nothing. Encouraged a little, I continued. “I’ve loved your daughter by stages over the last five years. I wish I could tell you how it happened or why but I can’t. When I was an angry, lost boy and she was just eleven years old, she opened the door to my heart and walked in. She knows my heart better than I do.”
The Andersons looked at each other and then back at me. I took a sip of coke, hoping I would not choke on it. I had gone home and changed into my best clothes for this. I hoped the sweat that I felt on my upper lip was invisible to them.
“When you came home from vacation four years ago I teased her about her Boston accent. Before she left that day, she leaned down and kissed my cheek. It made me angry because of my handicap. A few years ago when we were at the beach house on vacation…” I had to wipe my eyes because I suddenly had trouble seeing and speaking. They waited for me to continue. Mrs. Anderson reached for a box of Kleenex and walked it over to me. I took one and wiped my eyes. “…while we were there, we sat on the front porch and Lindsey told me that she wanted me…to bring her back to this beach, to this house, for our honeymoon.
“Just after my blood clot, the last night at the hospital, I tried to drive her away. I was afraid that I would just cause her more grief if a blood clot broke loose and caused me to have a stroke or heart attack or killed me…but she was there when I woke up and told me in no uncertain terms never to do that again.”
Mrs. Anderson smiled as she recognized Lindsey in my words.
“She didn’t so much as tell me that she loved me as remind me of that fact. She had been telling me in dozens of ways. I was just too wrapped up in myself to see it. She finally had to take my face in her hands and hold it while she told me.” It was my turn to smile at the recollection.
I looked at them. I was surprised to see Mr. Anderson wiping his eyes with a Kleenex.
“She has never wavered in her belief in me. She has never once seen my wheelchair as a problem or a hindrance.” I looked up again. “I’m here today to tell you that I know I could never, ever live up to her view of me, but I want your permission to spend the rest of my life trying. I want your permission to marry Lindsey.”
I steeled myself for all the reasons why it would not work. I prepared my arguments for why it would work.
Mrs. Anderson spoke first. “Jimmy, it’s a little early to be asking about marriage. Lindsey is only seventeen. She’s pretty young to have her mind made up.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said. It was true.
Mrs. Anderson smiled at me. “You and Lindsey have talked about this, haven’t you?”
“Just what I said earlier; she just assumed right off that I would agree with her about marriage. She told me when she was, um, thirteen that we were going to get married.”
“She speaks her mind,” Mrs. Anderson sighed. “What do you think about that, Jimmy?”
“About her telling me she was going to marry me?” I shook my head. “I told her we were too young to talk about marriage…I think I said ‘it was weird.’ She didn’t get mad. She just said, ‘I’m just telling you Jimmy Turner that I want to come here for our honeymoon.’” I grinned at the memory. Vacation on the beach seemed so long ago now.
“She is very mature for her age,” Mr. Anderson said as if reminding himself and Lindsey’s mom of that fact.
“Yes, sir, she is.” I wiped a bit of sweat from my brow using the Kleenex Mrs. Anderson had given me earlier.
“But what do you think about her speaking her mind?” Mrs. Anderson clarified her question.
“I have come to appreciate that about her because she’s never mean. She is blunt at times because most of us beat around the bush all our lives about things. She’s as honest as anyone I’ve ever met.” I looked at them earnestly. “Did I tell you about the time she accidentally broke a dish at our house?” They shook their heads. I told them about it. “When she told my mom, all my mom did was hug her for a long time. My mom and dad really love her.”
There was a long pause then, “How will you provide for her?” It was Mr. Anderson’s question.
“I’m going to graduate from college next year. I’ll have a degree that will help me get into the field of medical research. My mentor, Dr. Singleton says he wants me on his staff as soon as possible after I graduate. I’ve already done some work for him and he likes it.” I felt embarrassed to be bragging on myself.
“I’m sure you will be able to take care of her. You already know about her disease, don’t you?”
I looked at Mr. Anderson stunned. I nodded, unable to speak.
“And you have been devoting a lot of time to researching Meckler’s disease, haven’t you?” Mr. Anderson said as his wife watched with tear-brimmed eyes.
“Yes sir. I’m going to devote my life to Lindsey,” I said quietly.
Mrs. Anderson burst into tears and fled from the room. Mr. Anderson and I waited until she came back about five minutes later. She had drinks on a tray to cover up her sudden departure. Her eyes glittered as she gave me the coke. She clutched the remaining drink in her hand and impulsively leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Thank you, Jimmy.”
When she sat back down, Mr. Anderson cleared his throat and looked at his wife. She nodded and cleared her throat, took a sip of coke and put the glass down carefully on the table. I figured out instantly that they had arranged their own speech or speeches for me and this was it. I steeled myself.
Mrs. Anderson went first. “I would be proud to have you as my son,” she said. Her voice choked with emotion. “Lindsey would not even consider anyone else. You have had such an impact on her, Jimmy. If you two live up to just one one-millionth of your potential together, it will be more than most couples ever achieve.” She got up and made her way to where I was. She leaned down and kissed my cheek again and then walked back to sit by her husband.
He cleared his throat. “You know that Lindsey is not my biological daughter, but I feel like she is my own. I’m going to speak for her biological dad, Jimmy. He would be proud of you for the way that you have changed in the last few years. I am too. When we found out that you were researching Meckler’s disease to help Lindsey, and that you had abandoned your blood clot research, we could barely believe it. But we do believe it because we know what kind of a man you are now.” He had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could continue. “I’m trying to say, Jimmy, that you have my blessings from the bottom of my heart.” Again, he paused before continuing. “We know she’s young in chronological age but in maturity, she might be older than all of us together. So you have our blessings Jimmy.”
I could scarcely believe the reception and thanked my silent benefactor, whoever he or she was. I did not know who, but someone had provided information about my research to the Andersons. After we talked a little longer, I looked at my watch. L
indsey and I had agreed on a time for me to pick her up at the mall.
I had one more request for the Andersons. They happily agreed to it.
I changed clothes and returned to the mall at the appointed time. I told Lindsey that I would like to take her out for supper and I wanted to pick her up in the same way I did for the prom. I said, “I think my parents are going to be at your house for games or something tonight. We could stay if you want.”
“No, it would be nice to go out tonight.” She grinned at me. I knew she wanted to go out and guessed I was teasing her.
“Very formal,” I told her.
“Okay,” she looked at me. I could see her eyes twinkling with anticipation. Somehow, I had a reputation for being romantic and she loved being surprised. That is why she did not ask where we were going or why she had to dress up.
I told her when I would pick her up and she said she would be ready. She was never late.
I told my parents and they went over to the Andersons at 5:45 p.m. to play Spinner. They even set the table up with the Spinner game. I arrived at 5:55 and did not ring the doorbell. Mrs. Anderson opened the door, winked at me, and ushered me inside.
In two minutes, I was in position and waiting.
Lindsey came down the steps in a formal, full length, pink dress with beautiful earrings and necklace. Her hair was done up in ringlets because she knew I loved that. She floated down the steps and walked into the living room where her parents and my parents were at the table with the game of Spinner spread out in front of them. She did a double take. Both sets of parents were on the far side of the table, facing the living room. Lindsey noticed. She looked at them and then she noticed me.
The Orchid Page 18
