Amanda had told her mother that she was sorry but, her mother had told her that is would not have changed the outcome. That her father had been a heavy smoker before she had been born and that it was inevitable that he would die quite young.
Amanda had argued that at least she could have been there but her mother had shaken her head.
Now they were sat in the parlour. The housekeeper having brought in a tray of tea.
“Jake put it in all the papers.” Her mother told her now and Amanda pulled herself out of her daydream.
“Sorry?” She said.
“Dad.” She stopped.
“Oh… yes… yes.”
“He was hoping you would see it and call home.” Her mother said as she sipped her tea.
Amanda nodded unable to answer. She had seen them, all of them, it wasn’t as though she had lived in a vacuum for the last ten years.
But she had been too scared to call. She had tried picking up the receiver many times but had always put it back without dialling the number. “It was a bad time for him.”
“For him? What about you?”
“Of course it was a bad time for all of us but Jake…”
“Mum.” Amanda warned her mother.
“He would sit up night after night, just in case you called late.”
“I’m sure he did.” She agreed, sipping her own tea.
“He didn’t want to miss your call.”
“I’m sure he didn’t.”
“He even had all the home calls redirected to his mobile phone just in case.” Her mother continued.
Of course he had, he would have wanted to make sure that he had been the one to take her call and not her mother.
He always had to be in control of everything, even when her father had died. That’s why she had never phoned. Deep down she had always known that she would never have got the chance to speak to her mother. Jake would have intercepted it and that would have been as far as she would have got.
No that wasn’t it. She hadn’t called because she would have wanted to ask Jake to come and pick her up and bring her home. He wouldn’t have had to cajole her or even ask her. She had been so desperate to return home. Long before her father’s death.
“I should have come home then.” Amanda told her mother then. “I would have been too late for the funeral but…”
“Amanda I wanted you to come back. But it wouldn’t have achieved anything.”
“I know. I just.”
“Jake wanted you to come back. He has never stopped looking for you. He has chased up every lead, every possible sighting.”
“He has.”
“He tracked you to Cornwall and then Devon.” Her mother said and Amanda gasped. She had been in those places. “Then Wales and up to Scotland.” Also two places she had managed to get herself to. “You were always just a step ahead of him. By the time he had got there you had already gone. He would be very quiet when he got back. But then he’d start over.”
Amanda wriggled in her chair uncomfortably. He had obviously spent a lot of time and energy trying to track her down. “The last time was when you first got to London.”
“Two years ago.” Amanda said absently. He had been still tracking her even then.
“Yeah, he turned up at that hostel you stayed at. But apparently you had cleared out just that afternoon. It was the closest he had got. Just a couple of hours.” Her mother shrugged.
Amanda remembered the hostel. She had managed to get a job with a kindly, but lonely, old man. That same man that had taught her about antiques and the business. He had let her bunk in the back of the shop. So she had dropped off the map, so to speak.
“Oh mum, I am truly sorry for everything I have done.” She sobbed and threw her arms around her mother.
“There, there. It’s okay really. I understand. Your father understood. More than you realised. I wish you could have spoken to me about it. I could have helped you. You know sort through all the confusion with you.”
Amanda frowned then. Sort things out? Sort through her confusion? What was she on about? Amanda sat up straight.
“What confusion?” she asked her mother.
“Well your father and I understood that you were dealing with so much, that all those emotions, feelings, they were confusing, overwhelming, and new.” Her mother said.
“What’s that supposed to mean.” She looked at her mother’s face.
“Well… you know, with the whole Jake thing.” The whole Jake thing?
“The whole Jake thing?” Amanda echoed.
“Yes dear.”
“With Jake?” Amanda frowned at her mother who had begun to busy herself in the tea tray, which did not need the attention that was suddenly being lavished on it. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Well I knew that you were having a hard time with the whole Jake thing.”
“What whole Jake thing?”
“You know.”
“You mean because I hated him.” Amanda tried to expand.
“Oh darling, you never hated Jake.” Her mother tutted at her.
“I didn’t?” She asked her mother, not even disguising the sarcasm in her voice.
“Of course not dear. More tea dear. I can get it myself, I don’t like to keep asking the housekeeper. Jake hired her to help but I am very uncomfortable with the idea if truth be known.”
“No thanks I have had enough. Mum… I did hate Jake. I still hate Jake.” She told her mother bluntly.
Amanda wanted to make the situation clear to her mother. She did not want her mother under any false illusions. Especially those kind of illusions.
“Oh dear… biscuit?” Amanda shook her head.
“Mum.” Her mother bit down on her bottom lip.
“I thought you would have moved on from that type of thinking by now.”
“Why would I?”
“Well, you’ve come back. I thought that meant that finally you had woken up.” Amanda took in a deep breath and straightened her spine.
“Mum. Please. There is nothing. There was nothing between Jake and I. I hated him.” She told him firmly.
“Deep down you don’t hate Jake.” Her mother smiled wistfully, her eyes clouding over mistily. “Do you remember how you used to follow him around everywhere? You idolised him once. And Jake let you follow him around, he looked out for you. Protected you. Even though he was much older than you.”
“Six years older.” Amanda agreed.
“Mentally the age gap was more back then. You were just entering teenage years when the… when it started… Jake was just coming out of teenage years.”
“Yes well. It was a long time ago mum.” She reminded gently. “I was a child mother. As you have noticed I am all grown up now.”
“Yes but even so, there was always something there.”
“No there wasn’t.” she said.
“Oh, I’m not suggesting anything untoward. At least not when you were very young but…” her mother’s voice trailed off. “Jake would never have done anything that you didn’t want. Anything that you were uncomfortable with. You must know that.”
“Children never know what’s good for them. They don’t know how people can turn around and hurt you.” Her voice held a tinge of bitterness and her mother swooped on it like an eagle.
“Jake never hurt you.” She jumped to Jake’s defence instantly and Amanda bristled at that. See, how come no one ever jumped to her defence so readily? Instead she had to listen to accusations. “He adored you. Does adore you.”
“Mum people change, they grow up and they stop living in the past. I have moved on and perhaps it’s time that Jake did too.”
“There are some things Amanda that you never move on from.” Her mother was right of course she could not deny that.
“And there are things that you do.” Amanda insisted. “I have made a life for myself mum. A life that I am very happy with.” Amanda was reluctant to admit that her business was going under or that her house was a g
lorified rabbit hutch.
“Everything? What about a husband?” her mother asked her now.
And Amanda rolled her eyes. Why did she need a husband to make her life complete? What was wrong with the older generation? Was that the only standard for true happiness and life success for a woman? a husband, a marriage. Two point four kids and a dog in a nice leafy suburb somewhere.
Amanda opened her mouth to tell her mother that she did not need a husband or a man or even a pet to be truly happy. But instead she was shocked to discover that a lie spilled unchecked from her lips.
Maybe it was the way her mother had inferred that she couldn’t possibly be happy unless she was married or perhaps the talk of Jake. She did not know but she heard her voice and she heard the words and they were out before she could stop them
“I got married four years ago.” She said and then instantly berated herself. Now why had she said that?
But she already knew. Too many people thinking that she did not know her own mind. Far too many people telling her that she didn’t hate Jake. Far too many people thinking that there was something there, which of course there was not. Not then, not now, not ever.
Amanda opened her mouth, ready to confess that that just wasn’t true. The situation was still salvageable but then her mother said.
“O.” As she gasped. “Jake won’t like that.”
Amanda felt that lurch in her chest and her resolve hardened. No, Amanda silently agreed, Jake would most definitely not like that. Amanda bit back the smile that threatened.
“I’m sure he won’t.” She commented. A little sense of satisfaction blossoming inside.
“Have you told him?” her mother asked her.
Of course, as far as she were concerned it was tough if Jake had a problem with it. After all that wasn’t her problem that was his.
“I have no doubts that he will eventually find out.” She told her mother flatly. She knew her mother would tell him the first chance she got.
Amanda opened her mouth, she really should confess now before Jake found out. Before things got out of hand. It had been a stupid lie said in the heat of the moment and already Amanda was regretting it.
“Jake.” Her mother’s voice intruded on her thoughts and she looked up as Jake made his way leisurely over to them. Amanda’s breath caught in her chest as she watched his panther like moves as he drew unhurriedly closer. She swallowed and looked away. “Would you like some tea dear? I was just getting up to make a fresh pot.”
“Great, why don’t I help?” Jake smiled warmly at her mother and Amanda felt a savage kick in her solar plexus as she watched them walk away towards the direction of the kitchen.
Her heart sunk. She felt like an outsider. Now it was her that was the outsider and not Jake. She was the interloper in the family not Jake. Things had certainly changed whilst she had been gone.
Sadly, she acknowledged that it hadn’t needed to be that way. If she had not run away, then things could have been different. She would have had a very different life. One where Jake would still be an outsider and she wouldn’t.
However, if she had stayed could she have put up with the continuous fights with Jake for ten years? She knew that the answer to that was a resounding no.
Continually fighting with Jake was exhausting and soul destroying. She probably would have been a nervous wreck by now.
It wasn’t long before they came back into the room. Her mother was looking anxious and worried, whereas Jake.
Oh boy, Amanda was in big trouble. His face said it all. It was dark like thunder, and even that description was way too mild a word for the ominous black bleak expression running across his face.
Oh he knew, her mother had told him about her being married. Great, there was no way out of it now. It was a pretence that she would have to keep going. Why did she keep saying such stupid things? It was all Jake’s fault, he made her do it.
“So…” her mother started as she began pouring tea into the cups. Amanda could feel the hostile heat emanating from Jake who was now sitting in a high backed chair to her right.
She could also feel his anger. It hit her in giant waves that threatened to drown her. “What is your husband like? How did you meet? What is his name?”
“Name.” Amanda squeaked.
“Yes, he is my son-in-law after all. I should know something about him.”
Amanda knew that now was the time to come clean and explain that it was a mistake, a misunderstanding. They would be angry but they would get over it and she wouldn’t have to continue. She opened her mouth to say just that but then her eye caught Jake.
He sat seething in his chair. His arms resting on the armrests. If anyone was a candidate for spontaneous combustion, he was it.
This was her chance to get back at him for a change. He baited her often enough. Why couldn’t she repay the comp-liment? It would do him good to be on the receiving end for once. To feel at a disadvantage for once. Why did it always have to be her?
“Alan.” She said, though where she had pulled that name from she had no idea. It wasn’t as though she had made a conscious decision.
“And will he be joining you whilst you are here? He will have to come to dinner of course.” Her mother said unenthusiastically.
“Of course.” Jake replied dryly, or was that sarcastically. Finally, Amanda thought, chalk one up to me. I finally got under his skin. She should have felt bad but for the moment she refused to.
“I am afraid he is rather busy. He may not be able to make it this trip. I will ask anyway.” She smiled sweetly.
“What does he do? This husband of yours.” Jake asked curtly. Oh yes, Jake did not like this at all. She could tell
Amanda felt like grinning stupidly like a Cheshire cat but she bit it back. Jake would grow suspicious if she gave herself way.
If Amanda had been really smart. She would have stopped the charade right there and then. If she had had the gift of seeing into the future she would have ended it. But she had no idea how quickly this lie was going to snowball to epic proportions and she had no idea what was about to come.
Had she known she would have ended it? But as it was she could not see into the future and her rotten luck was back on her side again.
“He is in the antiques business.” One more little white lie. In the grand scheme of things, she had told bigger over the last forty-eight hours. “He works with me.”
“How nice for you.” Jake drawled. He really wasn’t liking this at all.
“Yes it is. It’s great when you can share everything together it’s so… intimate… don’t you agree Jake.” She taunted him, feeling giddy on the power it gave her.
“Excuse me.” The housekeeper intervened at that moment. “There is a gentleman here to see Miss Amanda. He said it is most urgent.” A man, to see her. That was impossible.
Who could possibly…? Then she remembered that she had told Harry where she had been going because she had wanted him to keep in contact about the potential buyer he had set up a meeting with. She had told him to phone her.
A quick feel of her pocket told her she had her mobile on her, so why hadn’t he called, why had he come here.
What has he done now? What mess has he got himself into? It was all Amanda could think of. Something else should have crossed her mind, but that did not come until later.
“Show him in.” Jake told the housekeeper disdainfully, with a sour look on his face.
It was that look, and the tone in his voice, that had been the final straw she realised much later when she would sit and analyse this afternoon.
She had had just about as much as she could take from Jake and his attitude towards her. Acting as though he owned her. That he had some kind of right to her. He had pushed her too far. She was not his property so how dare he treat her as if she was.
Harry came bustling into the room and Jake turned to see who had dared disturb his well laid plans whilst her mother watched on in amusement.
Before Ama
nda could even think properly, she had jumped up from her seat and ran over to where Harry stood. She flung herself at him and threw her arms around him.
She heard the wind being knocked from Harry’s lungs as his arms automatically came round her waist to stop himself from falling back from the impact he had not been expecting.
“Alan, darling. You made it.” She exclaimed loudly and enthusiastically.
Chapter 10.
Amanda stepped back from him to look at his face, which was a picture. And, not a great one right now. Poor Harry, she thought.
He looked as though he had suddenly found himself standing on the railway tracks with a train hurtling towards him at five hundred miles an hour. He had gone white, no Amanda corrected. He was much paler than that.
She did not need to turn around to know what Jake’s face looked like at that moment. She could feel his eyes drilling rather large holes in her back.
Harry was a dead man if Jake got hold of him. What had she gotten him into?
She should say something. She regretted the act the moment she had done it. However, the situation was still salvageable. Even up to this point.
If she owned up to it right now. She could argue that it was all Jake’s fault. Jake had goaded her into saying it, she could defend. So technically all of this was his fault.
She took a deep breath and turned round and opened her mouth to speak. Unfortunately, Harry took that particular moment, after a quick mental assessment, to get what was going on.
And, after a careful reflection he decided that it would be best to play along with his boss, after all he wasn’t exactly in his boss’s good books after screwing up with that statue thing. If this helped to make amends, then so be it.
“Emee darling.” Harry exclaimed delightedly as he grabbed her. He whirled her round to face him once more and kissed her soundly on the lips before she could stop him. “Finally I made it. You wouldn’t believe the journey I have had. No, you don’t want to hear it. How is my little pudding face?” he pinched her cheeks, hard. Too hard. “Did you miss me?” He asked in a tone that one would take with a beloved pet.
Battle Lines. Page 9
