by Cat Porter
“No point? No point? Timing fucked us, but fuck time! From the first moment we met, we didn’t have separate lives.”
His raw urgency jolted through me, detonating everything in its path.
“What is it?” His scars tightened, his stern jaw jutted out. “You all up in this Jack?”
I smoothed my hands over the polished wood surface of my kitchen table. “This is about me. I finally have my life the way I want it. I’m financially independent, living off my own work, part of a good community, good friends, good people I trust. My son is grown up and following his own path. And all the ugly shit is over and in the deep past and it needs to stay that way.”
“Seeing me brings the deep ugly all back, huh?” His eyes narrowed, his lips smashing together.
I touched his arm. “Seeing you makes me realize how far we’ve both come, and I’m glad. Glad you’re doing well. Glad we can sit here and have a cup of coffee.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
My scalp prickled.
“You think I came here for a cup of coffee with you?” he said, his eyes gleaming dark metal.
“Did you kill Med?”
“Turo took care of him. He did it for you. He told me himself.”
Nausea swirled in my gut. “How do—”
“After he gave me your new name, I let him live, and that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” He chuckled.
He was quoting Casablanca now?
“We ended up helping each other out,” he continued. “For years now.”
I choked back a slew of slimy images of Finger and Turo scheming together, killing together, consuming women together.
“To be clear, the Jacks are my friends. Are they your enemies now after all this crap with Catch?”
“No.”
“But they could be?”
“You’re so concerned about them, huh?” his voice snapped back, a shadow passing over his features. “You hang out with them now?”
“No, actually, I don’t.”
His eyes flared. “Just long enough to get laid?”
“Yeah, long enough to get laid. But, more importantly, to support my friends like Alicia and Grace who’ve been very good to me. Finger, everything’s changed, we’ve changed—”
He swung his head to the side and pushed up from the table. The mugs shook, coffee spilled. We both stared at the puddles of dark liquid. In a flash of movement, he bent over me, a warm hand cuffing my neck. My pulse pounded under his grip.
“This hasn’t changed for me, Sunshine. This hasn’t changed, and we are not over,” he said. A Mission Statement. Finger’s Declaration of Us.
His raspy voice uttering his ridiculous nickname for me blazed through my veins; a whisper of an ancient intimacy sending a skitter of hot iron barbs around my throat, spiking my skin, burning deep.
“We’ve been over for years, Finger.”
“All the reasons to be apart are done with—Med, your marriage. Why shouldn’t we be together?”
I stiffened. There was one reason. One.
His grip eased, his fingers sliding down my throat. “We’re alone, Lenore. We don’t have to be.”
“I’m not alone.”
His lips quirked. “I wasn’t alone last night either.”
His words jammed in my chest like rotten garbage leaking toxins, infecting me. “I’m sure you weren’t.”
“None of that makes a damn bit of difference, both of us killing time. But I won’t let time kill us any longer.” His voice was firm, even. “You’re a part of me, the very best part, and we belong together. If all it is with Tricky is getting laid, dump him. You got me now.”
Finger released me and strode off, his heavy footfalls booming through my small house, the creaky wood floors groaning under his turbulent battering. The screen door whined, slammed, and I flinched. His bike’s engine ripped the air and thundered away.
I sank back into my chair, wrapping my arms around myself. But it did no good.
The shaking wouldn’t stop.
50
“Where’s Tania?” I asked Butler.
I’d made it back to the One-Eyed Jacks. I wanted to be gone within the hour.
Butler glared at me. “She’s with her brother,” he replied.
Before I’d left this morning to go see Lenore, I’d woken up Tania and told her to go check on her brother in his holding cell and make sure he was ready to ride home by the time I got back. I assured her I wouldn’t be getting rid of Catch, but he had to learn to keep his dick in check. We both agreed that it seemed Catch had real feelings for Nina, that she wasn’t just some joyride. Before we’d gotten to that conversation, though, she’d shot up in the bed when I told her I was going into town for a couple hours. She’d known where I was headed, that there was no way I wouldn’t go see her.
She grabbed my arm as I shoved my boots on, stopping me. “Please, be kind to her.”
“Tania, all I’ve ever wanted was the best for her.”
“I know,” she’d whispered.
I’d stayed up most of the night trying to figure out what I’d say, what I’d do. All I knew was I had to see her. Judge my reaction to her, judge hers. Feel it.
Oh, I’d felt all right. And I knew.
My blood knew. My skin knew. My heartbeat knew.
I wanted more.
I’d demanded to be with her. It was a force I couldn’t control. A base instinct, a reflex that took hold of me sitting there in her beautiful house, watching her, breathing her in. Touching her. I was glad I’d said what I had. Fuck timing, fuck all the reasons.
I wanted another chance with her. We were unfinished business. She was a river that still rushed through my veins, the source undiscovered.
I wanted her. I wanted her back, to try again. To have that life we always wanted together, or maybe to try something new.
Right now, I had to find out from Butler what the hell his intentions were by having Reich’s sister-in-law as his old lady. Was it a ploy set up by Reich? Did the two of them have a secret deal between them and were pulling my chain? I wouldn’t allow Reich access to my territory, no way in this hell or the other, and I’d freeze out the Jacks for good if Butler was double dealing me.
Butler glared at me, his pale blue eyes looking like chunks of glass in the sunlight out in the Jacks’ courtyard.
“I want to talk to you,” I told him. “Let’s take a walk down by the track.”
We walked down the side of the hill to the old go-kart track where two Jacks were testing a rat rod.
“I’ll get straight to the point,” I said.
“You always do.”
“Why are you with that girl?”
“Excuse me?”
“Your old lady. Don’t tell me you fell hard for her and dragged her all the way out here from Ohio ’cause you couldn’t live without her.”
Butler crossed his arms. “Something like that.”
“That something ain’t it.”
He didn’t say a word.
“It’s me you’re talking to, Butler, not Jump. You and me have always been able to put our cards on the table with each other.”
“I went with my gut on this one.”
Just like I thought, no heart involved. Only his strategic brain cells and maybe his dick, but not his heart.
“You went with your brain,” I shot back. “Nina is connected to Reich’s club—one of the strongest charters of my MC—which pushes product from the east into the south. He’s been looking to find his own outlet through the Plains to the west, but that’s my route, and so far, all these years, no one’s fucked with me. Reich, your old lady’s brother-in-law, has been dying to get some play out here. You hooked up with that girl and handed him access to the Jacks on a silver platter while you hooked up with me at the sam
e time?”
“I haven’t handed anybody anything, let alone on a silver platter. And I’m not interested in fucking with you, Finger. I worked for you whenever I was allowed to while I was nomad, even did it on the sly when I shouldn’t have. I respect you, always have, for years now, and you know it.”
“I do know. But don’t tell me Jump let you back on board here at his club ’cause he missed your handsome face and witty personality.”
He let out a dry laugh. “He definitely didn’t miss me.”
“You wanted back into your club. You had to bring something to the table, and you did. That’s good. I understand that.”
Butler explained his deep-seated guilt about having let down his club with his cocaine addiction and subsequent double dealing.
“That’s a huge fuck-up,” I said. “But you do something Reich doesn’t like—let’s say, kick his sister-in-law to the curb now that she cheated on you—he’ll come after you. He’s a possessive shit on all counts—business, family, women. He doesn’t need much in the way of an excuse to drop everything and come calling.” My neck straightened. “But you knew that already, didn’t you?”
He returned my hard gaze with his own. “Yeah, I know a few things about Reich. A few things I shouldn’t. I did a second job for his chapter last year, a job nobody else would touch. That gave me an in with him. An in I took advantage of.”
I needed to know what Butler had found out. I’d been patiently waiting for years to hang Reich with a noose of his own making. To rally the Flames against him with solid proof. To ring that bell for all to hear—unmistakeable and clear. This was why I’d nudged Butler his way in the first place.
“And the frosting on that cake was hooking up with his old lady’s sister to keep you and him on the same page?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
“How long do you think this little deal you’ve got going with Reich is gonna last, bitch or no?” I let out a laugh. “Now that her and Catch have made a spectacle of themselves, you can be sure it’s going to be common knowledge that there’s a crack in your relationship, that she ain’t happy. That you two are done. Someone’s gonna try to exploit that rift. Exploit both our clubs.”
“I won’t let that happen. Nina fucked up, and she knows it. She knows what’s at stake. She’s keeping low for now.”
“Damage is already done, Butler. Add to the mix the Broken Blades, who have had it raw for you and for me since we got rid of the Calderón group. Notch needed that alliance. Now he’s like a hungry junkyard dog, desperate to keep whatever is left of his club together, desperate for a bone let alone a good meal. He’s fucking rabid, and I like him that way.”
Notch would never give in to me, and my mouth watered at the thought of his next move and my ultimate retaliation. It needed to be done right.
“And then you’ve got Jump on your back,” I continued. “How long until your Prez pulls the rug out from under your sparkly ass? I bet he loved this shit last night, huh?”
Butler brushed his boot into the dirt. “Yeah, he enjoyed it.”
“I don’t want what we have going on to be fucked with,” I said. “I’m trying to focus on patching in the Blades right now.”
“And you don’t think that’s gonna stir up trouble?”
“It sure as hell is,” I said. “But if I don’t make a play now that they’re down, someone else will, and soon. We can’t have outsiders coming in so close to our territories. Jump thinks it’s got nothing to do with him. He’s living with blinders on.”
“Jesus, you and Jump have never seen eye to eye,” said Butler. “Two of you have been like oil and water for as far back as I can remember. Hell, Dig and I’d been this close to getting shit started with you, and then the minute Dig got killed, Jump made sure to break any ties with you. I never knew what the—”
“That’s between me and Jump,” I cut him off.
The rat rod roared past. That was Tricky driving, spinning around the track, fresh from Lenore’s bed.
Fucker.
I spat on the ground. “Don’t stay comfortable, Butler. After last night, shit’s up in the air. You made a good play, but you’d better sprout eyes in the back of your head to stay above water.”
“I had an opportunity with him, and I took it.”
My eyes drilled into his. “You seem mighty confident to me. You’ve got something on Reich, don’t you?”
Butler remained silent, his eyes following the car speeding around the track.
“And it’s good, huh?” I folded my arms across my chest. “I can’t get involved. You know I’ll have to take his back over yours if it all comes crashing down on your head.”
He eyed me. “I know, but you won’t.”
Yes. He had something I wanted.
“Things just got much more interesting then. Remember, you get Reich ticked at you, don’t expect me to save you. He might just test us both.” I raised my chin. “This ain’t the eighties or the nineties no more. The landscape keeps changing, brother. Do not underestimate the players on it. Wounded dogs do desperate things to stay alive. Be prepared. If Reich sniffs an opportunity to make you squirm, he’s gonna take it.”
Which way would Butler sway? Either way, I wasn’t going to sit around and trust it would be my way. I wanted whatever he had on Reich.
Tricky raised a fist outside his open car window, a huge grin on his face as he gunned around the track again.
My jaw clenched. “I’m heading out.”
Butler shifted his weight, his tongue toying with his bottom lip. “Hey, what’s with you and Tania?”
Poor bastard, he had it bad for her. Did I seem freshly fucked after a night with Tania? I sure as hell hoped so. Butler needed to sweat. He needed to work for a good woman like her.
“What do you fucking think?” I asked, my tone perfectly pitched to the tune of irritation.
His eyes widened a few degrees. He was struggling to keep it in check. “I don’t know what to think, but—”
“But what?” I eyed him, pushing down my amusement. “What’s it to you?”
He shut the hell up and averted his gaze back to the track.
That’s what I thought.
“You worry about Reich being pissed about his girl,” I said. “You know you can’t dump Nina’s ass just yet, if that’s what you want. Reich will use it as an excuse to come gunning for you and your club, and he’ll try to rope me into the party. You got to sit tight, and you got to make her sit tight even if you gotta lock her down to do it. I don’t want trouble for Catch or my club. And I don’t want any blowback from your club on Tania because of her brother, you hear?”
“Loud and clear,” Butler’s voice clipped.
“Reich is a vengeful motherfucker. He’s good at finding ways to make it burn, make it sting.”
We trekked back toward the clubhouse.
“Shit changes fast out in the prairie, man,” I said. “You’ve been away a while now. You’ve forgotten how the glare of the sun can create figments, illusions that just ain’t there.”
“I haven’t forgotten a damn thing.”
I tipped my head forward. “That’s good, ‘cause you can never be sure what’s out there in the wild grasses, lying in wait, lurking.”
51
I rode into South Dakota with Catch. Today was his daughter’s birthday, and Jill was having a party for her at Catch’s mother’s house. After the party cleared out, Catch would have his daddy time with Becca. I dropped him off in Rapid to hang with a friend of his from high school until the birthday party was over. Nina would be at the party, being a friend of Jill’s.
I eyed him one last time as I backed out of the friend’s driveway.
“I’ll be right here until Tania calls me giving me the all clear to come over,” Catch said. “I swear.”
“You call me.�
�
“Will do.”
I headed over to the Jacks in Meager to find Butler and discuss a few details he needed to be aware of for a meeting I’d set up for him with one of my transport connections in Idaho. He wanted business from me, he was going to get it. But he was also going to get me staying in his face keeping his feet hopping and him guessing. Once I was done with him, I planned on seeing Lenore.
Butler came out of “Eagle Wings,” the club’s former auto and bike repair center that had now been transformed, under Lock’s direction and ownership, into a top tier refurb and custom design shop.
“Hey,” Butler greeted me. “You came with Catch to make sure today is all about daddy and his little girl?”
I took off my heated gloves, flexing my fingers. “That’s right.”
He shot me a look. “You gonna go over and have some cake and juice, too?”
The man had it real bad for Tania.
“I’ve got other shit to do while he visits. Let’s discuss this meeting. They’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now. Press is a brother from Idaho and I want him to work with you on a new route headed West using some of your tried and true and some of mine.”
Nina showed up at the club in her small SUV and waved a plastic bag in the air at Butler. He gestured toward the clubhouse, and she nodded at him, heading inside. Within a few minutes, she came back out and joined us.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she murmured, glancing at me then back at Butler.
“No problem,” he said.
“I left the change of clothes you wanted for your trip in your room on the bed.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure. I’m off to the party.”
“I’ll walk you to your car.” Butler threw an arm around his old lady’s shoulders as they crossed the yard to her RAV4. They gave a show that they were a happy couple with a hug and a kiss, and she slid into the driver’s seat.
He strode back toward me, pushing his blond hair behind his ears.
