by Tanith Frost
I hurry closer, but before I’m past the waterfall, I spot another figure up there with them. Adam, coming in from down the hallway. He must have hauled ass up through the servants’ passages to get here before I did.
Fucker.
I grit my teeth, gather my skirts, and pick up the pace. Adam’s lurking in the background, uncertain about interrupting Lachlan’s conversation. I can still make it.
“I get what he sees in her,” says a gravelly voice to my left. “He’s high elder. He can take what he wants. But I hope he leaves some for me. You know what I mean?”
I stop and turn slowly, sure I’ve misheard. But the vampire who spoke—big, burly, and handsome in a wild west kind of way—is looking straight at me, daring me to respond.
Either he doesn’t know what happened to Adam, or he didn’t see that Lachlan has returned. He believes the cat’s away, and this mouse is out to score all the points he can while he’s gone.
I look him over again. He doesn’t belong here. His suit’s too tight around his shoulders, not tailored to fit like those who surround him, each of them watching eagerly to see what I’m going to do now that I’m alone. My perceptions open, flooding me with information. He’s weaker than them. A lower vampire being thrown a bone to keep him loyal to the clan… to make him think he could ever have a chance of joining those who have real power.
Like me.
He crosses his arms and gives me a smug “whadda ya gonna do about it” look. Testing me. Using me to prove himself to these vampires who don’t give a damn about him otherwise.
I glance at Lachlan from the corner of my eye. He’s leaning on the banister, watching but making no move to step in.
The room has gone silent. This asshole spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear. Even if I ignore him and save my ass by getting to Lachlan before Adam does, I’m done here. No one who allows such open disrespect has a place among the higher vampires of Tempest.
In the still silence of that moment, I let the void rise in me, leaving no room for doubt or second-guessing. There’s only a sense of the kind of power this asshole will never know.
And anger, hot and sharp and deadly. I’m not ashamed of it tonight. I’m supposed to feel this when someone insults me or underestimates me or expects me to make myself less to please them.
I draw on training and instinct, pushing my perceptions until it feels as if time itself has slowed, striking without hesitation. He doesn’t see the heel of my hand coming until it hits his nose, slamming the back of his head into the wall behind him. He’s barely begun to react to that when my right fist hits his throat, further confusing him.
Not one of his new buddies steps in when I grab him by the back of the neck and push him face-first onto the flagstone floor. Within seconds, he’s gone from upright and gawking to pinned beneath the object of his taunts, one arm twisted straight behind his back until I feel the tendons in his shoulder straining from the pressure. He bucks and tries to throw me off, but a sharp tug subdues him quickly.
“Care to repeat that?” I ask.
He rests his cheek against the floor. Blood is dripping from his nose; given his lack of circulation, I’m assuming that means I did some real damage. “No.”
I bend his wrist sharply, eliciting a pained gasp that pleases me. “No, what?”
“No, uh… ma’am?”
I release him and stand, smoothing my skirt. It’s a shame he knew better than to fight back. I didn’t even get to break in my new boots, and that sure as hell wasn’t enough of a fight to get rid of all of my built-up tension. It’ll do, though.
“Was it worth it?” I ask, louder now.
“N-no.”
I don’t look around. For all anyone can tell, I’m just talking to him. But I know Adam’s up there, listening and deciding.
“Look at me,” I order, and he complies—sitting up and pinching the bridge of his broken nose, watching me warily through watering eyes. “You seem like a stupid asshole who might have trouble learning from his mistakes, so I’m going to spell this out for you. I may be new here, but I am stronger and more powerful on every conceivable level than you will ever be even if you manage to survive for another century or two. I guarantee you won’t, though, if you piss me off again. You or anyone else who crosses me. Understood?”
He nods. “Message received.”
“Then get the fuck out of here. And don’t let me see you again.”
He scurries off, and the vampires who were just moments ago laughing with him are now laughing at him. Not only that, they’re looking at me with something like admiration.
Fuck them, too. They’re not the ones who matter.
I look up at Lachlan, who’s smiling down at me with unmistakable pleasure. And at Adam, who’s already skulking his way back into the shadows.
Message received.
I’m still flooded with power that has nowhere to go. I want to run a marathon, punch a wall, fight a monster, fuck a monster. I don’t care which.
I thought I was bullshitting when I offered that lesson, but I wasn’t. I was simply understanding the truth for the first time. Putting that asshole in his place felt good. And I wasn’t lying—not even a little.
I belong here in a way he never will.
I glance up at Lachlan. He’s still talking to that other vampire, but he keeps looking down at me. I swear it’s with pride.
The uniquely pure void of this place sinks deeper into me, cooling my rage, assuring me I’ve done well, urging me to ignore the little voice at the back of my mind that insists this isn’t who I am.
It isn’t who I was, I answer back. In this moment, this is who I am. It’s the past that feels like a lie.
And as for who I will be?
I guess that remains to be seen.
15
There’s no sign the vampires who surround me are angry or preparing to attack. They’re amused if anything. Even respectful.
There’s one exception, though.
I didn’t see Daniel before. Maybe he’s just passing through and missed all of it. It’s impossible to tell. His eyes are on me, cold and disinterested, but he walks away as soon as I catch him.
I want to follow, but Lachlan is on his way down the staircase. He doesn’t hurry, and I have no choice but to wait. Whatever I believe about the quality of the void that inhabits me, I’m in a situation where a different kind of power matters more, and Lachlan holds all of it. The vampires who moments ago watched my quick victory with interest and amusement now disperse. No one ordered them to go, but in moments, there are only two of us in the room.
“That was quite the display,” he says as he reaches me. He’s still smiling, but I can’t help thinking it’s with the kind of pleasure a master takes in a dog that’s learned a clever new trick. And if I’m not his pet, I’m his toy, at least in some vampires’ eyes. And not his first, either. I wonder what happens when the novelty wears off.
If it wears off.
“Did I overreact?” I wipe the blood off my knuckles, letting the black fabric of my skirt hide the stains.
“Not at all. Your unique situation means you’ll have to work twice as hard to gain the respect of those beneath you. Not all of them are capable of seeing what Bethany and I do in you, but they’ll understand soon enough.” He leans in closer, crouching to look me in the eye. “You will make them understand.”
I shiver. He sounds so certain, and nothing in my life or after-death experience has prepared me for this kind of power. It feels good. “You really think it’s better to be feared than to be adored?”
“Undoubtedly. Adoration is fine, but when it’s all you have, it leaves the door open to betrayal the second something better comes along.” He takes a step back and looks me over as his expression shifts from approval to mild amusement. “Of course, you’ll want to make doubly sure you don’t fail now. If you displease me, I may not have you executed. I’ll set you loose among the lower vampires instead so you can see how they treat those who
insult them when there are no consequences. Word spreads quickly.”
A chill passes over my skin. The higher I climb here, the further I have to fall. And though my quick action may have saved me for the moment, it’s also cut me off from the lower vampires as potential allies.
Lachlan chuckles. “I’m sure you won’t disappoint me. I’m going to feed. Would you care to join me? You won’t kill tonight, but it will be quite a memorable meal.”
I’m about to decline his offer—I need time alone to think. But I also need to impress him now more than ever. Aviva would want to be alone with her thoughts, but what should Ava do?
The answer is easy.
I smile. “How could I say no?”
“Excellent. It will take some time for me to set things up, but this will be worth the wait.” He walks away but glances back over his shoulder at me. There’s no affection in it, but there seems to be new respect, as if I’ve somehow surpassed his expectations and he’s not quite sure what to make of it.
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” I mutter. He’s too far away to hear my answer.
But then, it wasn’t a question. He knows I’ll wait.
Not here, though. Vampires are returning to the room, noticing me and then looking away when I catch them.
And I like it. They’re aware of me, curious about me, but I make them nervous. And not one of them would dare challenge me.
How did I never understand the appeal of this? Security, certainty, purpose, and power. It felt good to be angry, to fight, to cause pain and prove myself superior.
The void flows freely through me, reflecting every facet of the experience until it glitters like a black diamond, and for a moment, I catch a glimpse of what I could be—what Gideon practically said vampires are meant to be.
Pure darkness.
I wander the corridors, too distracted by the idea of my own potential to admire the gorgeous details Randolph put into this place. I pause outside doors, but when I hear voices beyond them, I move on. I’m in an area I don’t recognize now. The wood panelling on the walls has been replaced by cobblestones that reach up from the floor and dot the arched ceiling, forming a tunnel. I almost turn back when I round a bend and find bright, irritating light at the end, but something draws me on.
The void. Not exactly as I usually feel it here, but filtered through someone I once thought I knew well.
My eyes adjust to the light, but it’s painful to keep them open. I can’t look away, though.
I’m in a garden.
There’s no sunlight here, only that harsh glow from high overhead. The lights are obviously doing the trick. The raised garden beds are overflowing with more kinds of plants and flowers than I can name—roses, hydrangeas, and tulips that have no business blooming at this time of year are surrounded by trailing vines and set against a backdrop of neatly trimmed shrubs and ornamental grasses. Holly bushes look appropriately festive, as do the fairy lights strung into the branches of the willow trees—or they would if someone would shut the other lights off.
I inhale slowly, ready to take in the scent of leaves and flowers, but it’s overpowered by the stink of manure.
There doesn’t appear to be anyone else here, but I know I’m not alone.
I follow the path that twists and turns between garden beds and trees until I find him crouched next to a row of lavender.
“Hiding from me?” I ask.
Daniel stands and brushes the dirt from the knees of his pants—a pointless gesture given how filthy they are. His white t-shirt’s not faring much better. “Not hiding. Hoping you wouldn’t see me.”
I turn away. “That’s fine. I’ll go.”
“Wait.” Daniel steps closer, and the hairs on my arms stand on end. I know things have changed, but feeling him like this brings the past back in a way that feels unspeakably dangerous—and equally tempting. I feel foolish for where my thoughts are taking me, and I kind of hate him for that.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Looking for somewhere to be alone, actually.”
“You came to the right place.” He squints up at the overhead lights. “They keep these on for the plants. It’s a nice place when they’re off, but you don’t find many vampires coming here voluntarily otherwise.”
For obvious reasons. My eyes are throbbing in time with the pounding of my head.
“Is this your job, then?” I ask.
“It’s one of them. I wouldn’t mind so much if they’d let me work in the dark.”
“Why won’t—oh.” Right. Lachlan’s not exactly a fan of Daniel. Even those under Bethany’s protection have to face the consequences of the high elder’s opinion of them.
He shrugs. “At least no one bothers me here.”
Silence stretches thin and brittle between us. “Am I bothering you?”
He rubs the back of his neck, smearing dirt over his skin. “No,” he says, speaking more softly and naturally than I’ve heard from him since I arrived. The hint of confusion in his voice, the slight slip of the mask he usually wears so confidently, reminds me so much of the Daniel I fell in love with that a lump forms in my throat. “But you shouldn’t be here. Lachlan seems satisfied that we’re not working together. We’re both safer if things stay that way.”
“I know. I miss your company, though.”
His nostrils flare. “Don’t.”
I step away and sit on the wall that surrounds a cluster of blood-red rose bushes. “That was some fight the other night.”
Daniel clears his throat and goes back to work, digging fertilizer into the soil. “I guess you know what happened.”
I nod, though he’s not looking at me. “I tried not to see, but yes. You convinced him he didn’t want to win?”
“Something like that. I keep them fighting, but they’re not really trying at that point. I haven’t had to enter the ring often, and I’ve needed to rely on that trick even less. It’s worked so far when I have.”
I don’t like the resignation in his voice. “But?”
He sets his jaw and looks toward me. “But it’s more difficult every time. And if they send me against someone like Leila, who’s strong enough that I can’t affect them, I’m fucked.”
I stand and move closer, telling myself with every step that I don’t really care. “More difficult how?”
“Damned if I know. My gift is there, but it’s duller. It’s…” He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. The less you know, the better. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I gather my skirts and step up into the garden bed he’s working in. My boots sink into the soft soil, but I need to get closer. Daniel eyes me warily as I hold out one hand. “Stand still. I want to see something.”
I rest one hand on his forearm, compounding my awareness of his power. I wasn’t wrong—it does feel the same, deep and rich and perfect as the void has always been in him. But there’s something different about it. I can’t pin it down, exactly, but it feels more like Tempest than it used to. Purer. If anything, he should be stronger.
I release him, and he pulls away.
“You’re changing,” I tell him. “Has Bethany said anything about it?”
“No. But if I’m losing whatever caught her interest in the first place…”
I can’t help looking him over, noting how his shirt hugs his body, remembering how much more of it I saw in action the other night. If I’ve interpreted Lachlan’s insinuations correctly, there’s a good chance Bethany’s interested in more than Daniel’s power. And if he’s doing everything he can to survive, she’s got plenty of reason to keep him around even if it’s not as a research subject. Still, he’s on thin ice—especially if he can’t survive in the ring.
“You’re going to be fine,” I tell him.
A lie, but one that seems better than the gut-wrenching truth.
He looks deep into my eyes. For one horrible, wonderful moment, I think he’s going to grab me and kiss me, or better yet confess that his i
cy demeanour is all an act and he can’t wait to tell me all he’s learned about Tempest’s plans. But the door slams closed on whatever he’s feeling or thinking. Even his power feels less personal now.
“You seem to have taken well to your new social status,” he says, and I swear the disdain in his voice brings the room’s temperature down by several degrees. “In Lachlan’s good books, working with Bethany. Vanquishing any who dare oppose you.”
“So you did see that.” I won’t let him see how deep his words cut. “I’d think you’d be pleased with your former student.”
“I am. But I have to say I hardly recognize her.”
I glare at him, but he’s not even looking at me anymore. “I could say the same about you. You’re surviving, but you seem to be doing it by murdering every part of you that I ever—”
He shoots me a sharp look that turns my tongue to lead and steals my voice away. For a second, I’m back at square one, a student at the mercy of an unfathomably powerful trainer I fear as much as I fear my own new nature.
“Stop,” he whispers. There’s a pleading note hidden beneath the chill in his tone that gives me pause. I wonder what would happen if I said it. Would he fly into a rage and call me a liar?
Would it break him somehow? He once said he feared I had the power to destroy the walls he’d built up since his death. But they weren’t this high back then.
The new me, the part of me that understands that I may be stronger than him now, demands that I put him in his place, that I hurt him as he’s hurt me since my arrival. But there’s still the part that believed my destiny, if I had one at all, was connected to his. That part sees the tightness around his eyes and notices the way his lips part as though he wants to say something else.
I look down at his dirt-streaked hands. Hands that hurt me, that broke me down and helped me build myself back up, that brought me pleasure even as they continued to test my strength. Up over his chest, once marked by my fangs as I made him bare himself to me. His shoulders, which carry the weight of a history he’s never fully shared. His lips… I pass over them quickly and meet his eyes.
