“I shall not breathe a word of your compliment, sir.” Helen pressed her lips together with her finger.
He nodded his approval. “In addition to your dancing skills, you sew the loveliest doll clothes I have ever seen.”
Helen arched a brow. “And you are a connoisseur of doll clothing?”
“Of course,” he said in mock seriousness. “You know my Beth. She demands only the best.”
“That she does,” Helen agreed, feeling some of her anxiety ease with his teasing.
“Which brings me to my next compliment,” Samuel said. “You have the caring and instincts of a mother. No doubt you shall be a great one someday.”
Would that I might. She swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable. “That is not likely, but I thank you.”
“Beth has absolutely shined beneath your tutelage.”
He still finds my best to be with children.
Helen shook her head and tried to keep the building emotion at bay. “She cannot help but shine, no matter who is fortunate enough to be her companion.”
“Speaking of companions,” Samuel continued as if he had not noticed her discomfort. “You are an excellent partner at the theatre.” His smile broadened, as if remembering that pleasant evening. “You have more courage than anyone I know.” He took her hands, squeezing them lightly. “You are possessed of a fine intelligence and a quick wit. And you are not at all shy, as I was once led to believe.”
“Goodness,” Helen exclaimed, tugging her hands from his and bringing them to her warm cheeks. “You had best be careful. So many kind words are likely to go to my head. I believe I feel slightly dizzy already.”
“Then my ploy is working,” Samuel said, raising his hands in a sign of victory. “But I am not finished.” His eyes narrowed as one corner of his mouth quirked up. “You have a gift for espionage, the likes of which I did not realize until you confessed them to me on this very spot.”
“That is no compliment,” Helen said glibly.
“To me, it is,” Samuel said. “I admit to feeling very flattered that you watched me. That you sought me out to walk with me that morning.”
“Only because Grace had told me how young ladies at balls go about catching a man’s attention,” Helen admitted. “I foolishly believed that if I wore my prettiest dress and curled my hair, you would take notice of me.”
Samuel cocked his head to the side. “You wished me to notice you — even then?” One brow rose, as if he did not quite believe her.
Helen sighed heavily. This was not at all how she’d imagined this evening would go, but now that she’d begun speaking, she realized she needed to confess the whole of it — to finish what she’d begun to admit yesterday. She looked past him as she spoke.
“Last October, I worried that all would not go well with Grace and Lord Sutherland and that we would find ourselves outcasts once more. I knew it very likely that Father would force me to marry. So I thought that if I must marry, I should at least prefer to wed a man who had shown me kindness.” She dared to glance at him. “You had shown me kindness.”
“I see.” The teasing had left Samuel’s voice. “And now that your father is gone, you will not be forced to wed anyone.”
“No.” She turned away.
He will not kiss me now that he knows how I had thought to use him.
“May I assume, then,” Samuel continued, “that if you chose to pursue a man, it would no longer be an act of desperation, but perhaps something your heart genuinely desires?”
What is he asking me? “Ye-es.” Helen spoke hesitantly.
“Look at me, Helen.” He so rarely asked anything of her, and never commanded, that his order took her by surprise.
She turned to him as he’d requested and found him to be standing very close. “Oh!” She startled as his arms came suddenly around her.
“I am going to kiss you now,” Samuel said, looking at her, his face so near, his lips hovering just above hers. “That is what you came for, right?”
She nodded, not daring to take her eyes off his, lest he begin before she expected it.
“What should I do with my hands?”
Samuel looked at her arms, which were pinned at her sides by his. “Put them on my shoulders.”
“Why?”
He smiled. “Because I would like them there. And so you may easily push me away if you find that you do not care to be kissed after all.”
“Oh.” She was positive that her face was on fire, but she rested her fingertips on his shoulders. “I’m scared,” she said, the admission falling from her lips before she realized what she was saying.
“So am I.” His eyes filled with tenderness. “I have only kissed one other woman, and nearly four years have passed since then. For a very long time, I did not think to ever have the privilege again.” His head came forward, but instead of kissing her, he merely leaned his forehead against hers. “And now that I have it, now that I have you in my arms, I am very much afraid. I want this to be a beautiful moment for you, Helen. And for me, I don’t want it to end.”
It doesn’t have to. “It is beautiful already,” she whispered, then smiled. “I thank you for not making me share it with Christopher.”
Samuel chuckled as he pulled back to look at her. “We most definitely will not share this with your brother.” He leaned forward again, this time with intent in his eyes. Helen felt hers flutter closed as his soft, warm lips brushed against hers, then lingered, moving gently, filling her soul with a sweet warmth.
I love you, Samuel. She must have only thought it, as her mouth was too occupied to speak, but she longed for him to hear the words, to know that the pretend had become so very real for her. He’d said he did not want this moment to end.
But it did. He pulled back, head still tilted slightly as he studied her with inquisitive eyes. “Well?” A corner of his mouth quirked up as if certain of her answer.
“Well yourself,” she said, feeling suddenly bold and fixing him with what she imagined to be a rather heat-filled stare.
“Did you enjoy your first kiss?” he asked, sounding slightly less confident.
She hesitated. “Yes. But …”
“What?” His brows wrinkled with worry.
Helen bit her lip to keep from laughing. Then feeling she had tortured him long enough, she set out to do the opposite. “I do not think my hands should be on your shoulders. Because I have no intention of pushing you away.” Never taking her eyes from his she moved closer, sliding her hands over his shoulders to the back of his neck.
Now Samuel’s eyes were wide with astonishment, and Helen felt an entirely new emotion, as if she were in possession of a great power she had just discovered. “And I think it ought to be the lady who decides when a kiss is ended, especially if it is her first. Your kiss was quite good until you ceased it abrupt —”
His mouth covered hers again, and she closed her eyes. Absolute bliss. His arms tightened at her waist, and Helen sighed contentedly. But still Samuel’s lips caressed hers. What have I done? She realized it would be up to her to pull away, and she wasn’t at all sure that she could.
As for me, I don’t want it to end. Could that possibly mean—
“Papa, Miss Helen, what are you doing?”
They broke apart at once, and Helen wasn’t sure whose face appeared redder — hers or Samuel’s. Beth danced at their feet — her own bare, and no cloak or winter wrap about her.
“What are you doing?” Samuel scolded, then snatched her up.
Instinctively, Helen stepped forward, took Beth’s feet in her hands, and began rubbing them briskly. “She’s frozen.”
Samuel unfastened his coat and wrapped it around Beth. “Where is Mary?”
Beth shrugged. “She told me to stay out of mischief while she went to take my dress downstairs to be washed. I used my paints on it, and she was very cross with me.”
“Oh dear,” Helen said.
“Your paints?” Samuel asked.
“This is my fault
. I gave them to her.” Helen tensed, awaiting his reaction. “Beth is very creative, and I thought — painting might be a good outlet?”
“Her creativity has never been the problem,” Samuel grumbled, but Helen thought she could see the start of a smile beneath his gruff words.
“It wasn’t a very pretty dress,” Beth said. “So I decided to make it better. Miss Helen says if there is something about ourselves that we do not like, we must work to improve it. Is that not right, Miss Helen?”
“Yes, but …” Helen covered her mouth, partly to keep from laughing and partly because she knew that no amount of explaining would fix this. Somehow, Grandfather’s advice had taken on a whole new meaning for the little girl.
“You should have listened to nanny when she told you to stay out of trouble,” Samuel said, both sounding and looking exasperated.
“I did,” Beth said. “I am not in mischief now, and nanny did not say where I must stay out of it.”
Helen turned away, but not fast enough. A burst of laughter surfaced, followed quickly by another.
“Now you see what you have done,” Samuel grumbled behind her. “Miss Helen was supposed to be having a delightful moment at sunset, but instead, she is overcome with hysterics.”
“It is a most delightful moment,” Helen assured him, turning to look at them once more.
“Is or was?” Samuel’s brows rose in question.
“Both,” Helen answered, meeting his gaze and feeling her heart soar.
“Altogether too short, if you ask me,” he complained, but Helen did not miss his smile.
“Come.” Shifting Beth’s weight to one side, he extended his arm. Helen stepped up beside him so that he had his arm around her shoulders.
“At least we will not cheat you of the sunset.” He turned them toward the west and the glorious pinks and oranges still painting the sky over the brilliant white landscape. “My favorite time of day,” Samuel said.
“More so than your morning walks?” Helen asked, then wished she had not.
Just because he may be starting to care for me does not mean I should ever ask him to cease loving Elizabeth.
He looked at her carefully. “Yes. More than my mornings in the garden. Especially tonight, as you are here.” He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and Helen leaned against him.
Together the three stood, basking in the sun’s last light and the possibilities of a future brighter than any Helen might have ever pretended.
Samuel followed Christopher into the study and closed the door behind him. Aware that he was wasting precious minutes that could be spent saying goodbye to Helen, he seated himself quickly and motioned for Christopher to do the same. “What is it that cannot wait until we meet again?”
Christopher withdrew a sheaf of papers from his coat pocket. “The solicitor we hired has had some success.” His tone, while not completely solemn, was at least more serious than usual.
Samuel leaned forward and took the packet. “It is as we feared?” The knot already formed in his stomach grew tighter. “Have you discovered that Crayton paid your father for the privilege of wedding Helen?”
“Whether or not marriage was the plan is questionable,” Christopher said. “But yes, money was exchanged in the bargain — £3500 to be exact.”
Samuel grimaced. It was worse than he’d thought. “And that in addition to whatever Nicholas was coerced into paying your father to compensate for Helen’s unmarriageable status.”
Christopher nodded. “No one ever said Father wasn’t sly.”
“I’ll have the funds withdrawn directly,” Samuel said, only too eager to pay Crayton and have the matter done with. “Have you an address where the man might be reached?”
“I do, but I wouldn’t suggest paying him — not yet, at least.”
“What do you mean?” Samuel leaned closer, intent on getting through to Helen’s brother the importance of removing this threat to her well being.
“As of yet, Crayton is unaware of Helen’s whereabouts. If he suddenly receives a bank draft from a Mr. Samuel Preston, where do you think that will lead him?” Christopher stared at him pointedly.
He brought up a good point, but it also seemed that if there was no longer money owed to Crayton, then Helen might at least be free of obligation there. But possibly not free from threat. Samuel recalled the possessive look in Crayton’s eyes that night at the theatre. “You don’t believe he wants the money, then?”
“Oh I’m sure he wants the money.” Christopher leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful expression upon his face. “But it would seem — at least from the dialogue our man was able to discover — that Crayton wants Helen more. That Father did not deliver his end of the bargain likely contributed to his untimely death. And now that there is now a price on my head —”
“What?” Samuel rose from his chair and walked over to stand before Christopher. “You are acting far too casual about this entire situation. Crayton is not only looking for Helen now, but for you as well?”
“And with intent to harm us both, no doubt.” Christopher continued to recline in his chair, as if this did not particularly bother him.
“Yet you do not think it prudent to pay the man off and be done with him?” As he had at times before, Samuel felt himself becoming irritated with Helen’s brother.
“Oh I think it prudent,” Christopher assured him. “But only after Helen is safe. When the law would be on her side and Crayton would have no legal right to touch her — because she is already married.”
The suggestion settled over Samuel, and he wondered that he had not seen it coming earlier. He glanced once more at Christopher before returning to his seat. “I daresay you have some of your father’s shrewdness about you. And I do not mean that as a compliment.”
“I don’t take it as one,” Christopher said, a smile on his face nonetheless. “But be that as it may, I have done my best to use any cleverness I am in possession of to guide my sisters to happy futures. Do you see that anyone has been harmed in the process?”
“No,” Samuel said, his tone surly. “Not yet, anyway.”
“Nor will they be. Grace shall soon be wed, and she and Lord Sutherland will be most happy together.” Christopher’s grin broadened, as if the prospect pleased him greatly. Turning his look directly upon Samuel, he said, “You must admit, after weeks of pretending to care for one another, that you and Helen make a fine match as well.” He rose suddenly, before Samuel had a chance to reply. “Hold off on your payment to Crayton until after the weddings. Then I shall deliver it myself, if you’d like.”
Weddings? He thinks there are to be two? “You’d be so foolish as to meet with him when the man would like to see you dead?” Samuel rolled his eyes at Christopher’s audacity. “You are both unwise and have assumed a great many things. Even if Helen is safely settled —” If she were to agree to marry me —“Crayton is not likely to forget the incident at the theatre.”
“I should hope not,” Christopher said, rubbing his hand absently. “It has taken me a rather long time to recover. I expect his face has suffered at least as much. It would be a good idea to keep tabs on him for some time yet, but it does appear that he sticks mostly to crimes the crown approves of, or at least chooses to ignore. Once married, Helen should be safe enough. And unless Crayton plans to chase me overseas, I think in a few months’ time I shall be free of him as well.”
“And where do you think to go?” Samuel asked, not surprised to hear that Christopher had adventurous plans.
“America.” He spoke the word almost reverently. “The land of opportunity. Where my father’s name will neither follow nor condemn me, and where I shall be able to make my own fortune and even purchase my own land.” His face lit with animation, and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, as if they were overly eager to get started working toward this vision.
“And do your sisters know of this grand scheme of yours?” Samuel well imagined what Helen and Grace might have to say about it.<
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Christopher shook his head. “Of course not. As with the situation with Crayton, timing is everything. I shall tell them both after they are happily wed and have little time for thought of me.”
“You grossly underestimate your sisters if you think they will give little thought to you sailing off to another continent.”
Christopher shrugged. “Nevertheless, I must — Crayton being just one of the many reasons. But I will talk to Helen and Grace when the time is right. I trust you and Lord Sutherland will help them to understand.”
“If I happen to be around when that time comes, I will do my best to aid your cause — so long as it does not overly contribute to Helen’s unhappiness. Her well-being must come first, you understand.”
“Just as your daughter’s welfare had to come first when we began our plot to reunite Lord Sutherland and Grace?” Christopher raised his brows knowingly.
“Yes. Much like that.” Samuel stood and faced him. “Why don’t you be more direct? What, exactly, do you expect me to do? All this speaking in circles is wasting valuable time which I might be spending with your sister.”
“You know what I want.” Christopher headed toward the door. “Lord Sutherland will be obtaining a license to marry within the week. Why not accompany him to fill out the paperwork and complete your own license at the same time?”
“I should like to be more certain of the lady’s favor before I take such a leap of faith.” Samuel scowled at the papers in his hand, then threw them on the desk behind him. He didn’t want a threat to Helen’s safety to be the cause for a rushed wedding. Or a wedding at all. He wanted Helen to marry him because she loved him.
Curse Crayton. Samuel was tired of obstacles and misunderstandings and even the situation between Nicholas and Grace right now. I just want to be with Helen. Can the rest of it not all go away?
Christopher reached the door and looked back. “You can be certain of Helen’s affection. Though if you have not figured that out after the kiss you shared yesterday …” He smirked.
“I think I shall be glad to see you go,” Samuel said, only half-jesting. “Can a man not have a bit of privacy —”
Loving Helen Page 19
