THE BAR HAD BEEN insane tonight, and I was in need of a drink myself. Derek had the closing shift so he was still there, but we made plans to meet up when he was off.
When I got home I walked into the kitchen where Alara was sitting at the table, a glass of wine and a stack of papers in front of her.
“Hey, babe.” I took a water out of the fridge and chugged half. “I told Derek we’d meet him at the bar in an hour.”
“I can’t.”
I held in my sigh of frustration. “You weren’t able to do anything all week.”
“Two of the lab assistants were on vacation last week and I was a little busy planning our wedding.” She held up a notebook before letting it drop with a loud smack.
“One night off won’t kill you.”
“No, it won’t. But I’m not spending my little free time watching you get drunk at a bar.”
“What the hell?” I asked. “You say that like it’s a regular occurrence.”
She lifted a brow. “This will be the third time you’ve gone out in a week.”
“You know Mickey has been giving me more responsibility… trying to gauge whether I really want to own a restaurant.”
“And if you do? You’ll want to get sloshed all the time?”
“Jesus, Alara. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to unwind for a bit. It’s not my fault you’d rather sit at home by yourself.”
Her eyes narrowed. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stay home either.”
“Whatever. Sorry I wanted to spend a night out with you.” Holding up my hands, I walked away. “Jesus, are you on the rag or something?” I muttered as I left the room.
“What?” she shouted at my back. Closing my eyes, I cringed. I knew it had been the wrong thing to say the moment it left my mouth. But, shit, we’d hardly seen each other and she didn’t seem to care at all.
We were both stressing out for different reasons, and I hated the distance it was causing.
“Where’s Alara?” Derek asked when I walked back into Pick Your Poison thirty minutes later.
“Home,” I grunted as I moved behind the bar and made my drink.
“Help yourself,” he muttered before walking to the other end and helping some customers.
An hour and three drinks later, I realized I was in no condition to go home. With a sigh, I took my phone from my pocket and dialed Alara.
“Hello?” Her voice was soft and deceptively calm when she answered.
“Hey,” I said, and then waited for her to say more, to apology, to give me something. When she didn’t, I got straight to the reason for my call. “I just wanted to let you know I’ll be staying with Derek tonight.”
“You aren’t coming home?”
“Now you care?” I mumbled. I didn’t catch what she said as I threw back the rest of my drink. “What was that?”
Alara sighed, sounding helpless and remorseful. “I said of course I care, and I’m sorry. I’ve been—”
“Hey there,” a random girl yelled by my ear. Alara cut herself off.
I stumbled away without a glance, waving her intrusion away like it was gnat.
“You sound distracted.” Her voice lacked the warmth it’d temporarily gained. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Alara—”
Click.
“Shit.” I pulled the phone away from my ear and shoved it in my pocket, knowing if I called her back she’d ignore it.
Her apology was the first sign of life I’d seen from her all week. Alara had said I knew her better than anyone; but at the first sign of struggle, I didn’t recognize it at all. I felt sick just thinking about how consumed I’d been in my own stress this week. I needed to make this right. Now.
I walked over to Derek and slapped him on the back. “Hey.” I held out my hand, palm up. “I need my keys.”
“Yeah, right.” He gave me a look like I was stupid. “You really think I’m letting you behind the wheel?”
Rolling my eyes, I wiggled my fingers. “I’m taking a cab; I just need my house key. You can keep the others if you don’t believe me.”
He pulled my keys out of his back pocket and worked the house key off the chain. But right when he held it out, he jerked it back. “Is everything okay?”
“No,” I answered honestly. “But it will be.”
I was quiet as I unlocked the front door, and the first sound that greeted me had my feet freezing in the entryway. Soft, familiar, sobs filled our house.
Slowly shutting the door, I took a deep breath and prepared my apology. Half of it got lost in my alcohol-addled brain as I walked across the family room toward the kitchen. I found her sitting at the table, her shoulders shaking with her cries. It killed me. Even by herself she tried to quiet her pain, to minimize its echo throughout the house, to contain it.
I carefully moved forward, and when I was close enough, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. She jumped.
“It’s just me.”
Alara let out a breath and started crying harder. I didn’t speak again, I just held her. Like I’d promised to do when she was down.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
Shaking my head, I moved around her. I gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head up. “Don’t be.”
She stood up on shaky legs and we walked to the couch. “I’ve been struggling,” Alara whispered after we’d been sitting in silence for a few minutes.
“I know.” I took a deep breath and brought her hand up to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I guess I didn’t want to admit it.” She looked up at me, tears in her gorgeous green eyes. “Things have been so good lately. I don’t… I don’t know why I’m feeling this way.”
“You don’t have to. I told you this. I know I didn’t do the best job of showing you this week. I’m still learning here, too, but I meant it when I said I’d stand by you.” I softened my serious words with a smile, which she thankfully returned.
“I just didn’t realize it this week. Sometimes I’ll need you to tell me. You’re so strong, Alara, and so incredibly brave. It kills me to admit this, but I can’t always tell.”
She started nodding, scooting closer to me. “I know. And it’s unfair of me to expect you to. It’s hard to admit when I’m hurting. I can’t imagine I’ll ever not see it as a weakness.”
“So we’ll work on it. Together.” Smiling, I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t propose to you because I thought we were perfect and had this figured out. We’ll always have to work on it, and I want to.”
Alara rested her forehead against mine, her lips tipping up to mirror my own. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” We shared a simple kiss before she weaved our fingers together and held our hands to her chest.
Thirty minutes, and many tears later, Alara was in the shower when I got a text from Derek.
Derek: Is everything okay?
Me: Yeah. I think so.
The phone rang.
“Hey, what’s up?” I answered.
“You think so?” Derek asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. She’s just been anxious. We both have and didn’t handle it well. Neither of us is really sold on this big wedding and instead of talking we just kind of bottled it up. I promise it’s okay, Derek.”
He was silent for a few seconds. “And you’re sure?”
I paused very briefly. “Yes. We just need to find a way to take a break.”
“Okay. Hey, I gotta go,” he said quickly, like something was pulling him away. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
We hung up just as Alara stepped back into the room. “Who was that?” she asked.
“Derek. He was worried when I left the bar.”
She frowned as she came to stand beside me, clutching the towel to her chest. “I didn’t want anyone to.”
“Hey.” I gently
grabbed her wrist. “Worrying about you isn’t a burden. I do that anyway, for all sorts of reasons, Alara. And I know everyone else who loves you feels the same way.”
Nodding, she said, “I know. I’m trying to work on it.”
“Promise?”
With a soft smile, she ran her fingers through my hair. “I promise.”
“Good. Now we need to seal it.” Her grin cracked open wider as she held her pinky finger out to me. I smirked. “I was thinking of joining something else.”
Before she could react, I grabbed her waist and tossed her on the bed behind me. She let out a loud laugh as she bounced and the towel slipped.
I didn’t look at her body though, I kept my eyes on her slightly lost ones as I crawled over her. “I love you.”
“Gabe,” she sighed, her eyes welling with tears.
I sealed my lips over hers, pressing our promises and love into the kiss like a person pressed a flower into the pages of a book, with reverence, and with the hope that it would last forever.
The next morning I pulled the door open to Derek. He was grinning, so excited he was practically bouncing on his toes in the doorway. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?” I looked around him to find Sam behind him, a small smile on her face as she watched my best friend. When she caught me looking, the smile slipped and she stood straighter, like she’d been doing something she shouldn’t. My eyes shifted back to Derek, narrowed. I’d just opened my mouth to say something when Alara walked up.
“Hi guys. What’s up?”
“Pack a bag,” Derek said. Done waiting for an invitation, he walked in.
“Hey, sis.” I dropped an arm around her shoulder before gently pushing her inside and shutting the door.
“And why do we need to pack a bag?” Alara asked.
“Because we’re going to Cali.”
Alara looked toward me, like I had any clue what he was talking about. Lifting my hands, I said, “I have no idea.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “Derek thinks we’re all stressing out too much and that we should take an impromptu trip to California.”
“I already cleared it with Mickey; he’s cool if we take a couple days off,” Derek assured me.
“What about Alara?” I pointed toward her. “She works in a university, she can’t just up and leave whenever she wants to.”
“Just call out sick for a couple of days.”
She was already shaking her head. “I can’t do that.”
Derek deflated at the finality in her voice. Alara looked guilty as she walked forward and placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I can try and ask about a last minute vacation?”
Like a puppy with a bone dangling in front of his face, he perked up and said, “Really?”
“I can’t make any promises and I won’t ask for the full week, but yes, I’ll talk to my boss.”
Derek pulled her into a hug and she laughed as her arms wrapped around his neck. A tiny, familiar burn of jealousy settled in my stomach. And when I looked over at Sam, I could have sworn I saw the same sentiment.
I knew there wasn’t anything going on. Derek and Alara really were like siblings, but given our recent struggles, I wanted to be the one making her laugh while I held her in my arms.
As covertly as I could, I reached over and untangled them before pulling Alara against my chest. If Sam and Derek’s smirks were any indication, I wasn’t successful. But when Alara melted back into me, I realized I couldn’t care less.
“Did you really expect us just to hop in the car right now?” I asked.
Derek shrugged, avoiding Sam’s triumphant grin. “Yes,” she said. “He did.”
“Hey, I was just trying to be spontaneous.” He huffed. “Apparently even a little spontaneity needs planning.”
“That’s what happens when you become an adult,” Alara joked as she chucked his chin.
“Why can’t you call her now?” he asked. “We could still leave today.”
Alara hesitated. “That’s not terribly professional.”
“C’mon.” He actually did bounce on his toes this time. “We all know she’s your friend, too.”
She looked back at me. I shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt to ask.”
With a reluctant nod, she left the room clutching her phone.
When she came back out, she looked stunned, telling us her boss didn’t mind. My smile widened as Derek started shouting and jumping around.
A small smile graced Alara’s lips. “Apparently she’d known something had been up for a few weeks. She was glad I told her and encouraged me to take off,” she whispered.
“Well, then, let’s go.” I grinned.
“You’re stepping on my heel,” Alara said on a laugh.
“Sorry, babe.” I awkwardly moved around her, trying to keep my hand over her eyes while navigating us.
“I know what the beach looks like, do I really need to be surprised?”
“Yes.”
She let out a huge sigh like she was frustrated, but I could see her trying to restrain her smile. After being in the car for almost seven hours, we were all happy to stretch our legs. Derek and Sam were checking into the hotel, while I immediately led Alara to the beach. Luckily there was a relatively straight path to the boardwalk. I moved her in front of the railing and stood behind her.
“Ready?” I asked. She nodded and I released my hand, peeking over her should to watch her expression.
“Holy… wow. This is…” Alara shook her head. “I’ll never get used to it.”
“Yeah.”
Resting my chin on her shoulder, I sighed as she leaned back against my chest. We listened to the waves crash against the sand. “Let’s get married,” she whispered.
Grinning, I turned her in my arms. “I believe that was the point when I asked you to marry me…”
“No. Let’s get married here.” Alara nodded her head toward the waves crashing on the sand.
My smile slipped. “Are you serious?”
“We’ll still get married back home, with our family and other friends. But let’s do this just for us. No stress. No worries.” Alara’s eyes brightened, like the longer she thought about it, the more sure she became. She weaved her hands into my hair. “Neither of us want any of the extravagant things my parents are planning. So why don’t we just get married here? Something simple on the beach. No fuss. No giant room with a bunch of people we don’t know.”
Even if I had wanted to say no, which I didn’t because I’d marry her as many times as I could, there was no way I would. Not with the way her smile lit up the area around us. Not even the bright moon was a match for her.
“We can look into it. I mean, we just got here. And we’re going to be here for a week, I’m sure we could throw something quick and simple together.”
But some of her excitement dimmed as she thought of something. “I don’t know if I could do it without Naomi or Sherry, though…”
Alara deflated. And it was my least favorite thing in the world. Anything that lit this girl up, that gave her joy, should be taken advantage of. She was naturally a low-key person.
“We can—”
She shook her head. “No. I’d need them here. Besides you, they’re my best friends.”
I didn’t bother arguing with her. I knew how close the three of them were. It would be pointless.
But I also knew there was no way I was going to let this little hiccup stop me.
November 2
I CAME TO SLOWLY, immediately reaching my hand out to the side, seeking. Coming up with nothing but cold sheets, I frowned and wiggled my fingers a bit farther. My palm finally landed on a piece of paper. I pulled it toward me with one hand while I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with the other.
Gone to get coffee. Love you.
I smiled at his chicken-scratch before rolling over and looking out the window. We had spent the week at a hotel right on the beach and it had been perfect. Our days were filled with exploring, sometimes alone, other
times with Sam and Derek, and our nights were filled with making love.
I stood up, securing the sheet around me, and padded toward the balcony. Pushing open the door, I let the breeze in and sighed.
Gabe and I could have been getting married today.
I loved my parents and couldn’t wait to celebrate with them at the big wedding my mom was in the process of helping me plan. But something about this day, this moment, told me that I should be marrying Gabe here… now.
Despite my dejection, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Naomi and Sherry. I would have regretted not telling them. One because if it ever slipped, Naomi would be pissed, but mainly because I would have wanted them here with me. Naomi had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. And Sherry, who we met in college, felt like she’d been there since the beginning.
They were the people who saw me through the worst of my depression. You couldn’t go through something like that with a person and not grow closer. Sometimes having depression felt like another job. But I knew that my depression didn’t end with me. It was often just as worrisome and exhausting to my friends and family, too.
But they both had responsibilities, and not little ones. Med school and law school were no joke and I wouldn’t ask them to step away from that just because I had my first bout of spontaneity.
Sighing again, I leaned my head against the shutter, staring at the beautiful beach below.
“Isn’t a bride supposed to look happier on her wedding day?”
Immediately whipping around, I came face-to-face with my two best friends. They were both grinning.
“Yeah,” Sherry answered Naomi. “She’s not glowing at all, is she?”
“Maybe that will change if we show her the dress?” Naomi shook the hanger she was holding.
“What the hell?” I asked, my smile wide.
“Dude!” Naomi set the bag on the bed before coming forward and tackle-hugging me. “You’re getting married today,” she whispered in my ear. I caught Sherry’s grin over her shoulder as she wheeled two small suitcases inside.
“How’s the trip?” She stepped back, hands on my shoulders. Her eyebrows raised as she looked down my body. “Hmm… looks to be going well.”
Unveiling Forever Page 4
