When she spotted him, Tori halted mid-splash, and the hard lines around her soft mouth dropped away. She inhaled sharply.
Les stepped closer, and Tori back-stepped away. He slid his hand down her arm and captured her hand in his. It was cool from the rain. Compared to his, her hand was tiny and soft. He wrapped his other arm around her shoulder and began a slow step-step-slide-together.
There were no smiles, no laughter, nothing. She wouldn’t look at him. His gut bunched. He wanted her in his arms properly. He tightened his embrace, bringing them closer.
Tori threw her arms up, shrugged away from Les, and continued to kick at the water. “No, I can’t.”
“What’s going on?” Les asked.
“I’m hiding.” She pushed her hands out, as if she was pushing him away from her head. She walked away.
“In the middle of the town in the middle of the night? That’s not very hidey.” Les followed her.
“I am invisible. No one can see me. Anyone who does ignores what they see and keeps on with their own self.” Tori flung a hand up in the air with a dismissive wave. “Hiding in plane sight. It’s easy when nobody cares.” She glared at him. Her eyes were red and puffy.
Les felt her pain in the center of his chest. He struggled to find his voice around the burning lump below his throat. “You’re soaked. You need to go home and dry off before you get sick.”
Tori laughed, bitter and full of daggers. “I have an iron constitution. I’ll be fine.”
Iron rusts. “Can we at least get out of the rain so I can talk to you?”
Tori made a growling noise and stomped toward the gazebo.
Les followed her up the steps into the gazebo, which only offered protection from the rain, not the chill seeping into his skin. How did he begin to tell her how he felt? “I thought we were friends.”
“I did, too.” Tori slumped onto the wrought iron bench that someone had dragged into the center. She stared at her toes as she tapped her soggy sneakers up and down. They made a squelchy noise.
Her voice grew quiet, and she wouldn’t look at him. The lack of eye contact felt physical. “Yeah, well I’m done being the friend who gets ignored when someone better comes along. I’m done being convenient, being the friend no one calls unless they can’t find anyone else to hang out with. I’m done being told ‘well I do have other friends you know,’ when I ask if they are busy. I’m tired of being the perpetual third wheel. And I’m done with allowing myself to be tucked away into the friend zone because I can’t seem to get friends any other way. I’d rather just be alone than constantly hurt by my so-called friends.”
Tori turned her gaze to him. The impact of her emotions felt like a brick landing on his chest. She stared at him, waiting. He sat there like the idiot he was with his mouth hanging open. Les tried to say something, but words stuck in his throat.
“I don’t think anyone does it on purpose, but…” She shook her head, stood, and walked to the edge of the gazebo. “They don’t think how their actions impact anyone but themselves, and I deserve better. I’m done. I don’t think I can be your friend anymore.” Without another word, she disappeared into the rain.
Hot pain paralyzed Les’s body into place. His soul longed to follow her, but she had pierced him with a spike straight through his guts and into the ground. He felt as if all his blood left his body in a rush. He reached up and touched his face at the unfamiliar sting of tears. How many times had he called her gorgeous to her face and then spent the rest of the night chatting up some other woman? How many times had he found her for a good conversation full of laughter after it was clear he wasn’t going to get laid that night? How many times had he been a complete jerk to her, only thinking about himself, and not that he was leaving her to walk home alone or to sit by herself at a table because her friends had dumped her for some guy?
And the one time he’d kissed her, it had felt like she was the very air he needed to live, but he’d deposited her with her friends like a gutless wonder, coward supreme.
Les collapsed, burying his face in his hands. He’d watched those assholes deliberately hurt her and never once clued in to the fact that he had been hurting her time and time again.
Everything had changed the night he’d kissed her, and not for the better. He’d done it to protect her. He was a coward, and she was the one who’d ended up getting hurt.
***
Tori quietly closed the door to her apartment. She flipped on the light and stood, dripping, taking in the lonely home. The stack of the last few boxes to unpack, even after all these months, lurked in a corner. Maybe they were just already packed for her next move. This town felt like a mistake. Les’s behavior confirmed all of it.
Her heart was hollow, empty. When she’d been younger, raging in the rain had always relieved the pressure and frustration. Tonight it had cemented her grief into a permanence she felt in her bones.
She sloshed her way down the short hall to her bathroom, not bothering to take off her shoes. She would need to get a cat or two if she was going to embrace the truly single and lonely lifestyle. Would Mrs. Harkin allow pets? How much would a pet deposit cost? Did she really want to get a cat if she was seriously thinking about moving? It wasn’t like she had job security, since her job might disappear in a few months.
Tori leaned down and tried to untie one of the wet shoe laces. They were stuck, swollen together with water. She’d toed off the first shoe when she heard a loud banging on her door. It wasn’t a tap or a knock, but an audible demand to be let in.
Les, no doubt with hurt feelings. He wasn’t the type to accept that his actions had consequences. That she was merely reacting to how he and others had behaved—no, how she had been allowing others to treat her.
She took her time pulling her second shoe off. Let him stew. The banging changed in nature to a rhythmic dull thud, paired with a moaning plead. “Tori, please let me in.” She pictured Les banging his head against her door.
Not even a full week ago—had it really only been a few days? It felt like years—she would have been giddy at the prospect of Les at her front door late at night. Now she was just tired. She pulled the door open and walked away from him. “Stay there.”
Les shivered inside her door. She tossed a towel at his feet. “Drip on that.” She leveled a glare at him.
“I’m an asshole.”
Tori couldn’t agree more. She scoffed. “Tell me something new.” She leaned on the counter by her kitchen sink, arms crossed, the living room between them.
“You stopped smiling at me.”
Her brow furrowed and she cocked her head back. He hadn’t actually said that? “You followed me home to tell me I should smile more?”
Les sighed. “No, but I… I’m stupid. I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you never thought that teasing me or giving me”—she made air quotes with her fingers—“half a chance would be hurtful. That’s just it, Les.” She bit the inside of her lip, willing the stupid tears to not start. That was why she had been out in the rain, so the water from the sky could mask the water on her face. Who had she been hiding them from? There had been no one to see.
She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. Let Les witness what his so called friendship really did to her. “I’m an afterthought. I’m good enough for now until something better—“
“No!” The sound was a rough bark. “You aren’t an afterthought. I wasn’t teasing when I said you had a cute ass. And you are beautiful. I’m the idiot who didn’t realize your smiles kept my heart beating until it all stopped. I’m not sure how to read you. It’s all mixed signals.”
“Mixed signals? Oh my God, Les, you have no clue about mixed signals.” Her voice changed, the sneer audible in her tone. “Hey, let me walk you home, only to jump in the first car when some chick honks her horn and says wanna party?” She wiped at her nose and sniffed. “I’ve been pretty damned obvious, and each time I try, I’m reminded that you’re only interested in being a friend,
nothing more.”
“Huh?” The confused look on Les’s face hurt more than angered Tori.
“I asked you out on a dinner date. You blew me off and then acted like it was no big deal that you forgot.” Tears blurred her vision, and she could no longer see his face clearly. “You come to that damned dance class, and you won’t dance with me. But you make sure to hang around afterwards to walk me home, and tell me I looked cute and that you can’t wait for the next time.” She couldn’t form words any more. She pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes.
“The other night when I kissed you—” Les started.
She didn’t want to listen to him anymore. It was all lip service. “Shut up, Les.” She tried to growl, but it came out on a sob. “When you kissed me, I realized that I never would be anything more to you than that funny girl who is a good sport who you don’t mind hanging out with because I don’t scare away other women.”
They stood in her apartment dripping at each other. Tori no longer had the energy to glare at him.
Les raked his hand through his wet hair. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to kiss you again all week. I hadn’t realized how much I looked forward to your smiles and blushing when you made your deliveries and flirted with me.” He walked in a tight circle, staying on the towel, obviously frustrated. “Look, can I come all the way in? Or do I have to just stand here dripping?”
Tori slumped against the counter. She closed her eyes slowly before nodding.
He was cold to the touch when he placed his arms around her shoulders. His hand stroked her hair that was already starting to curl against the weight of the water holding it down. She leaned her forehead against his chest. His leather jacket was slick with wet and cool on her burning skin. She hadn’t realized how bad of a headache she had until that moment.
Les curled his cool fingers over the shell of her ear and along the bottom of her jaw. He lifted her chin, tilting her face toward his.
Tori opened her eyes in time to watch Les lower his lids, his impossibly long eyelashes resting against his cheeks as his face descended toward hers. His lips were as cool as the rest of him.
She knew she should resist him. But she still wanted him. She closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. His lips were soft and pressed against hers. She caught the plumpness of his lower lip with her teeth. Fireworks crashed in her head at the contact. Her head no longer throbbed with pain. Instead she felt his smooth lips sliding across hers, his tongue caressing hers. Chills raced down her limbs and curled her toes. His lips would temporarily retreat, only to press more fervently against her. Her stomach was nothing but dancing nerves.
Les’s hand caressed the side of her face. “Jesus, Tori you’re burning up. How long were you out there?”
She moaned at the loss of his lips, and as the pounding returned to her head.
“Let’s get you some meds and then out of these wet clothes.”
Tori pointed to the cupboard with the glasses and the ibuprofen bottle.
Les handed her two pills and a glass of water. She tried to sip just enough water to wash down the pills, but he stood over her until she drained the glass.
He followed her to her bedroom. She should have been floating, Les was following her to her bedroom. At some point before he kissed her, she had gone numb. Numb from hurting too much, and numb because, as Les pointed out, she was getting sick.
He sat her on the edge of her bed and helped her out of the wet chambray over-shirt. Next he pulled her wet T-shirt over her head. He didn’t say much, just asked where he could find a clean shirt for her to put on. If he had really meant that kiss, why wasn’t he saying anything? She was half naked in front of him and all he did was give her his back so she could take her bra off and put the clean shirt on without an audience. When she said she was dressed, he turned back around and helped her peel off her wet jeans.
“I’ll let you finish putting on your pajamas without my assistance. You have any sweats I can borrow? I am drenched to the bone.”
Tori pointed to her closet. “There should be some sweats in the stack at the bottom.”
Les pulled out a pair of grey sweats and disappeared into her bathroom. Tori stared at the door. She could hear grunts and thumps as he shifted around, changing. Her mouth went dry as Les stepped back into her bedroom. He pulled the tie cord at the waist and looped a knot in the drawstring. The sweats settled an inch below his hip bones.
Tori let her gaze drift up his torso. Yeah, there was a reason she had crushed so hard on him. He was so good looking, and then add charming and flirtatious. Swarthy warm skin, muscular build, broad, square shoulders. He was built like a swimmer, long and lean. When she met his eyes, his expression was kindness and concern. She melted whenever she looked into those dark, dark eyes of his.
“Why are you here, Les?” She didn’t know if she really wanted his answer. She could feel the fever building behind her eyes. Beat up after days of depression and heartache, she could easily fall into this man’s arms and let herself be used.
Les pushed Tori into her bed, and he followed her, pulling covers over them both. “I’m taking care of you. I am still your friend.”
“You’re an asshole.” Tori sniffed as Les pulled her against his chest.
“Unapologetically so. You think you can put up with me knowing I’m a grade-A idiot? I’m sorry, Tori. I honestly didn’t realize you had asked me on a date. That’s how dumb I am. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You don’t want to lose me as a friend?” She felt the hollow in her stomach return as the friend zone tried to swallow her.
“I never want to lose you as a friend.” He sighed, shifted, and positioned himself to look her in the face. “You not talking to me this week has been a real wake up call. I don’t want to go through that again. Friends first. Lovers, partners. I never want to lose you.”
The intensity in his eyes frightened her. “Oh.” She couldn’t hold his gaze and dropped her eyes to his chest. A smattering of chest hairs curled around the otherwise smooth skin between his pecs. “Your intentions are what, exactly?”
Les laughed. The sound rumbled deep in his chest, his naked chest, that she was snuggling against. She felt dumb, but she had made stupid assumptions in the past.
“My intentions are to get some sleep.”
Yep, misread this whole situation. She closed her eyes and dipped her head away from his line of sight. Platonic man doesn’t have a clue how to be a nursemaid without getting physical. Why had she allowed herself to get into this situation? Right, she liked him, despite all the stupid. She still held on to a tiny glimmer of hope.
“Hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning so I can kiss you and maybe make love to you.”
Tori’s head snapped up.
Les chuckled. “You don’t feel good, do you? You’ve missed the whole point of me being here. I’m in love with you. I want you to have a crush on me again, so I can convince you to fall in love with me. C’mon, let’s get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning, and this will all make sense when your head isn’t feverish.” Les reached up and behind him and snicked her bedside table lamp off.
Tori snuggled against his chest. Les said he was in love with her. This had better be real and not some fever-induced dream.
Chapter 13
Tori had never felt sexier, more desired than she had this morning when Les had looked at her with that calm, even gaze, barely a twitch of a smile on his lips. No matter what happened later, this morning he hadn’t been teasing her as he’d traced his fingers around her face. Was that the moment she could claim she was in love with him or had it been love at first sight? It had definitely been crush at first sight, and she had certainly been heartbroken this past week when she had thought he would never return her affections. Maybe she had been in love with him all along and it wasn’t until she knew he felt the same that she could admit it to herself.
Somewhere deep in her toes she still wasn’t certain this was real, that
he would turn around and laugh and say it was all a joke at her expense. Just because that had happened once in her past did not mean it would happen again. That boy had never looked at her with a serene expression that said everything at that moment was perfect.
“What do you want, Les? Why are you here?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I want to hear your giggle when you say something evilly witty and you catch yourself being funny. I want to see your eyes sparkle when you smile at me. I want to know that I am the reason you smile that way. I want to be the best friend you ever had.” Les continued to caress the side of her face. If possible, he was even better looking up close.
“It sounds like you want me to adore you,” she said with a sigh. She needed to hear him repeat the words of love to be sure she hadn’t dreamed them.
“Would that be so bad?” he asked.
“What’s in it for me?”
“Everything that I am. Te amo.” He dipped his head ever so slightly and claimed her lips.
Tori grabbed onto him and pulled him tight. This was the most perfect moment of her life. Les was in her bed, and he loved her.
The jarring cacophony of her alarm clock interrupted their kiss.
Les rolled out of bed and bashed on the top of the alarm until the noise silenced.
Tori groaned. “Uh, I have to go to work.” She hit her head into her pillow.
Les sat on the edge of her bed. She ran a hand over his sleep-warmed skin. “Les, how do I know you aren’t gonna change your mind?”
“I won’t. I need to build your trust. We can work on that together. Can I see you tonight?”
“You want to meet at Carnita Joe’s?”
Les shook his head. “No, here, you and me and more of this.” He leaned over and kissed her again.
***
Les slid another tray of pre-plated desserts onto the bakery rack. Today was the longest day in the history of work. He smiled because Tori was on the other end of it, and he couldn’t wait to have her in his arms properly.
St. Helena Vineyard Series_Sweet Satisfaction Page 9
