by A. M. Brooks
“Will you see me tomorrow?” she asks hesitantly.
“Yeah,” I breathe out, completely stunned. This is not at all how I expected this conversation to go.
“K,” she responds. I hear muffling as she’s getting to her feet off the floor. “Goodnight, Darrian.”
“Night, Nora,” I answer before the line goes dead. A quick look at the clock lets me know I have five minutes until the guys show up. I open my texts and pull up one other number I’m hesitant to contact. I close my eyes and picture her smile, the uncertainty in her eyes the other night, and the look of fear I remember there from before on the day after she reported Cody at school. Without thinking it over, my fingers fly over the keys.
Darrian: Meeting at my place. Get here.
Nichols: It’s midnight. I don’t do booty calls.
Darrian: Get here
I throw my phone down, rolling my neck. I have to play the game strategically. I have to study all my opponents and create one hell of a game plan to make this work. It’s only a matter of time until things pop off. Nora needs to be as far out of it as I can get her. She’s going to hate me.
Ever since Darrian called to tell me Roman would be locked away for three to five years, my life is on a strict schedule. My ass is covered by Kings at all times that I am not even allowed at my own home alone. Which isn’t often. My dad is routinely called into the office or away on important client cases resulting in Darrian’s overbearing existence in my space. I doubt Mark Sutton would approve of what is going on, even though I am eighteen, it is still his home. The Kings don’t care though. If you’re not in their immediate circle, you get no information and you are oblivious to everything.
“It’s better he doesn’t know right now,” Darrian told me after his sixth night staying at my house around the holiday break. So I don’t say anything. Why risk my dad’s safety? I’m not naïve. I know that Darrian is getting exactly what he wants. Me. Alone.
It’s been going on for almost two months. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells daily, tip-toeing around the fact that Olivia and Shea shoot me questioning looks, when I show up to school accompanied by Darrian and usually, ninety percent of the time, leave accompanied by him. It looks bad. Not long ago, Darrian ripped my heart from my chest and stomped all over my grave while sliding his dick in someone else. If I wasn’t fearful for their lives and was mean enough to entwine them in this drama, I’d set them straight. Too bad I care about them. The hardest adjustment has been the absence of Trent in my life. Even though he knows what’s going on, he’s made it clear how he felt about Darrian’s impact on my life. He isn’t wrong. There is no way to explain to him though that needing Darrian is as necessary as oxygen. I’m safe. The hidden eyes, watching me and waiting for me have disappeared. Trent and my last conversation still hurts though.
“You sure you’re okay with all this?” Trent asks. I hesitantly nod my head. Trent had sought me out the next day after my conversation with Darrian. “Are you sure? If you aren’t, we can tell them to back the fuck up. I know the Kings have connections here, but we could leave.”
“Leave?” I ask, the thought foreign to me considering I’d just come back. “Like you and me?”
“Yeah.” He nods before running his hand through his too long hair again. “We can skip out ‘til this whole thing blows over. College is already set for you, I’m sure we can complete our last credits online.” I watch him intently, noticing the spark of fear and determination in his eyes. The plan is half baked and he has no idea if it would actually work. My heart squeezes in my chest watching him grapple with the reality he is trying to avoid.
“Trent,” I say, trying to sound lighthearted but even I can hear the rejection in my voice.
“Don’t,” he pleads, shaking his head. It’s painful to breathe knowing I’m about to hurt him again when all he has ever done is be there for me.
“I can’t leave,” I answer his question in the only way I know how. “I refuse to let everyone pick up my pieces. I don’t want anyone to get hurt either. If this is what I need to do until the case is wrapped up and Pierce is behind bars, then I’ll do it.”
“You don’t even know for sure if that will happen,” he says. “This godsend is a rookie investigator. For all we know, he’s just been lucky.”
“I know,” I agree with him. We don’t know. Elijah swears he’s the real deal and that’s why everyone wanted him to consult with.
“Or what if they do get Pierce. Then what? Who’s to say this doesn’t continue on and on? More family could make their way out of the woodwork,” he points out.
“I know,” I agree again even when a shiver slides through my body this time.
“And you really trust them to protect you? Even after everything he did?” His voice trails off. My cheeks turn pink with acknowledgment. I’m aware I may be the biggest idiot for trusting them again. “Please don’t judge me.” My voice is low. I swallow the lump of emotion in my throat.
“Nora.” He shakes his head before sliding his arm around my shoulders. “I’m not. I’m sorry, okay. I just… it would kill me to see you that way again. I know he’s clean now and that things are different…I…I don’t know. It kills me a little that he’s your one.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, letting the tears roll over and spilling down my cheeks. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I know what he did, and I don’t excuse it, but he is making an effort. I want to meet him halfway.”
“Please be careful,” he pleads, his mouth pressing a tight-lipped kiss to my forehead giving me comfort when I’m undeserving.
“I will,” I say before hugging him close to me one last time.
Trent has bowed out more gracefully than any of the rest of us. He’s needed more at the track getting ready for his next classic, making his absence more understandable. Not that I mind. One less person around means fewer chances for them to be hurt because of me.
“Stop looking like that,” Lily says before dropping her tray next to mine.
“Like what?” I ask defensively while breaking off a piece of my clementine.
“Like that.” She points at my face, scrunching her nose. I laugh.
“Your face will stay that way if you keep it up,” Olivia says in her next breath before sliding into a chair in front of me.
“Shut it,” I tell them both. “I can’t help it.”
Olivia raises her eyebrow at me, and I have to look away before saying too much.
“Is it because of what’s happening next weekend?” she asks quietly. I freeze momentarily before realizing what she meant. My heart sinks at the reminder.
“The Snowball?” I ask. I’ve been avoiding this topic for a while too and with everything else going on it almost slipped my mind. Almost. I hear Lily choke on her carrot stick next to me. One look and it’s clear to see we’ve been on the same wave-length. Avoidance. I scan the lunch crowd quickly, trying to estimate how much time we have before the twins will reach our table. Ethan is in line and I haven’t even seen Elijah enter yet.
“Sorry,” Olivia mutters, waving her hand back and forth. “Probably not the best topic to bring up.” Her face contorts in a grimace.
“Yeah.” I nod before setting my water back down. “Wasn’t the greatest night of my life.” That is an understatement. Even while Darrian is working to rebuild what is left of us, there is still plenty of collateral damage. The color drains from my face and my chest flares with heat remembering everything that happened last year. The humiliation I had felt when Darrian cut me down in front of his friends.
“What if we just go as a group of girls?” Lily suggests.
“You actually want to go?” I question, shocked and horrified.
She shrugs. “Why not. I don’t need a man date to look fabulous and dance with my girls.”
“I like the way you think,” Olivia agrees with her and they laugh. I’m still frozen back in time, dread swirling in my stomach.
“Nora,” Lily says next to
me, her hand landing on top of mine. “Just us. He won’t be able to get in unless he was asked by a date and there is a stupid form to fill out—”
“He could easily get past that,” I cut her off. My skin buzzes with a nervous energy.
“Babe.” Olivia pulls my attention to her. “He’s crazy about you. Anyone can see it. Last year was fucked up, but Lily is right. Even if for some reason he got in, nothing would happen. Everything is different this time.”
I’m not sure if it’s her admission that Darrian is crazy about me or the fact that she almost sounds supportive, but I feel calmer.
Before I can respond, I see Ethan’s head over the crowd, heading our way. “Let’s do it,” I agree in a rush, nodding when they ask if I’m sure. I can’t overthink it. And Lily is right. I don’t need a man date to feel good about myself and dance with my friends.
A few hours later, my chariot arrives outside the school. Ethan and Elijah are flanked by my side like always and Lily is standing a little behind me, tapping away on her phone. She missed the fact that Ethan strategically moved her behind him protectively. When our eyes met, he shook his head, but it was too late. The boy still has it bad for her.
“Okay,” Lily states, stepping past her blockade to reach for my phone. “I sent you the link for what I ordered us. Olivia is getting the Snowball tickets tomorrow.” She fires off directions to me and all I can do is stand there. My eyes dart to look at the guys but they are clueless to what she is talking about. I shoot an anxious look in Darrian’s direction. His face is blank, and I can’t tell if he heard or not.
“Sounds good,” I respond quickly, my words like sandpaper scratching in my throat. I follow Darrian to the Jeep. He still hasn’t said anything.
“How was class?” I ask him, hoping to bridge some of the tension growing between us.
“Boring,” he says, shrugging.
Great, we’re on one-word answers. I fight the urge to plaster myself against the window as far from him as I can get. I try to remind myself I have done nothing wrong.
“My day was pretty boring too,” I tell him sarcastically. I can feel him tense next to me and I hope I struck a nerve somewhere.
“Are you going to the dance?” he inquires, his jaw muscle ticking.
“Not going to ease into this then.” I lift an eyebrow at him, using humor so I can avoid the uncomfortable emotions rioting in my stomach. Despite the fact we made the plan at lunch, I still lift my shoulders uncommitted. “I think so.”
His jaw flexes before his hand grips the steering wheel. I watch him through my lowered lashes, waiting for the explosion or the accusations.
“Who’s all going?” he asks.
“Just us girls,” I answer him. I hate that my voice isn’t confident and instead sounds timid like I can’t make my own decisions. He doesn’t answer right away, but I notice some of the tension leave his torso. He rubs his free hand over his chest like he’s in pain. The silence is thick, and I start to backpedal.
“I mean, I’m not sure if I want to. It’s stupid, but we thought it would be a fun girl’s night to just dance and we’re seniors so I shouldn’t miss out,” I keep rambling, unable to make the words stop.
“Nora,” he calls my name and when I finally look at him, he’s smirking. “You should go. I think you girls need a night like that.”
Shock.
That is all I can think of to describe what I’m experiencing right now. “Uh yeah.” I shrug again like it’s not a big deal. We just semi-talked about Snowball and he thinks I should go. No blowouts, no rules, and no ugly cries from me. By the time he pulls into my driveway, I don’t remember how we got home. I unclip my seatbelt and open the door before I realize he isn’t turning off the engine to come with me.
“What are you doing?” I ask confused. He smiles and nods toward my dad’s car in our driveway.
“They got back this morning.” He shrugs. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
“Are we okay?” I’m confused right now and it’s making me feel on edge. Darrian leans toward me across the console and wraps his long fingers around my wrist.
“We’re fine baby,” he responds. The warmth radiating off him renders me speechless again. Surprising us both, I don’t even roll my eyes at the endearment. In a daze, I make it to my house and lock my door as I hear him speeding away down our road.
It’s not until the shadows fill my room that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and awareness tracks my every move. Shivering, I climb under my blankets and pull them up over my head, creating a cocoon. With Darrian there, I’ve been able to sleep without my lamp. Tonight he’s not and I have to fight the urge to flick the light on. Groaning, I flip over and try to concentrate on my dad’s snores down the hallway. Counting his breaths in before the rumble, I’m finally able to drift away.
When Darrian picks me up the next morning the awkwardness from yesterday is gone. He doesn’t bring up the dance and neither do I. I accept the coffee from Smallest Bean that he brought me and gulp it down.
“Are they leaving today at all?” I ask in between gulps.
He laughs before sneaking a look at me. “Why, did you miss me?”
My face flushes, my gaze moving to the passing cars out my window. “I just sleep better when you’re there lately,” I admit.
Darrian doesn’t say anything, and my eyes jump to him. He’s already watching me intently. A few months ago, the look in his eyes would have terrified me and sent me running back to Seattle. No matter how much I’ve tried to outrun Darrian, I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m not supposed to. He’s a part of me that I never saw coming. Our gazes lock and I greedily absorb every ounce of the hunger and need being directed at me. When Darrian finally drops me off at the front of the school, my body is heated. My thighs rub together anxiously to get out of the vehicle. It’s too much. What I’m feeling again for him is too much and it doesn’t make me scared like it should.
“Bye,” I call, jumping out as fast as I can. I ignore him when he calls my name as I sprint past my bodyguards. Elijah is laughing and I’m aware that Ethan is right behind me on my heels. I don’t stop though. I need to get in the building. I need a huge sea of people separating me from Darrian. I need to get my head on straight again. This may be the longest day ever.
By my fourth hour, I have sixteen text messages from Darrian.
Darrian: Why did you run?
Darrian: You said it. Not me.
Darrian: I want this too Nora. Talk to me.
Darrian: I’ll be there tonight. We’re going to talk about all of this again.
Darrian: I’m done waiting. You’re mine.
Obsessive.
Controlling.
Dominating.
All of the above. The sickest part was that each text twisted my stomach with excitement. My cheeks were flushed and hurt from smiling. I like that he was being this way. I missed his addiction to us and the way we were back then before the drugs and before the hell we were put through. I needed to get out of the classroom to calm the adrenaline in my veins. Without thinking it through, my hand shoots up in the air.
“Miss Sutton?” the teacher calls on me, and I stand.
“May I use the bathroom please?” I ask. Elijah shoots me a questioning look before setting down the project he’s been working on. I don’t usually take a bathroom break and neither of the twins have had to leave class because of me. This is new territory to him, and I wave him off.
“I’ll be right back, I promise.” I tap my phone that’s pushed in my pocket indicating why I need the time away. Elijah looks from my phone to me before glancing at his own. I’m aware that Darrian has been checking in on me all day with them as well.
Without giving him a chance to stop me, I sail out of my seat and grab the pass next to the door before bolting out of there. The hallway is empty like I had pictured it. My steps are hurried on the way to the bathroom.
Stepping inside, I blast the sink with cold water, dipping my
hands in and placing them against my cheeks. The excess moisture slides down my neck creating a path of chills in their wake. My eyes collide with my reflection in the mirror. My old friend is back. Her hazel eyes are bright and shining. The smile on her lips almost looks painful. “I’m doing this,” I tell her and watch the look of approval move over her face. My hand dives into my pocket and grabs for the phone. Sliding open the last message from Darrian, I start to type out my own.
Nora: I don’t want to wa…
“Look who it is.” Her voice drifts across the small space toward me.
My eyes snap up in surprise. Camilla walks further into the bathroom closer to me and my body freezes. I look around, but nobody else is there. Stupid. I give myself a mental slap for being in here by myself. I should have just waited until class was over. Elijah!
I stand up straighter, turning to face her. “What do you want, Camilla?” I ask. I watch in horror as her face contorts. Her eyes darken and slant, a red hue edges the ridges of her cheeks, her red lips pulling into a wicked smile. Her laugh is unnatural and manic making my skin crawl. Her head tips to the side regarding me.
“You destroyed my family. You need to pay for your sins,” she says in a childlike voice, her usual Latin accent gone. I take a step back. I’m well aware that Camilla has been linked to ‘unfortunate events’ as the news likes to report. Apartment fires, car accidents, a boyfriend who accidentally drowned. Watching the person in front of me become someone else though is still shocking.
“I didn’t do anything,” I tell her, aware that I’m not doing anything to calm her. “He made those decisions on his own.” Her lip curls, a snarl tearing from her mouth.
“YOU DID THIS!” she yells, her voice shrill, her breathing deep.
The door to the bathroom opens, my hopes that Elijah would interfere are shattered when four of Camilla’s entourage walk in. I recognize the two from before in the hallway, the other two are strangers to me. My flight instincts want to kick in and I have to push them down in order to think clearly. My chances had been greater when it was just Camilla and me in here. Five to one…my odds weren’t looking the best. Stay calm, pay attention to your surroundings, observe your opponent. My instructor’s voice echoes in my head. Right now it sounds like bullshit and I’m wondering how I’ll get out of this alive. Was this their plan all along? All that work Darrian did to protect me, and I blew it because I couldn’t wait until after class to text him.
