by A. M. Brooks
“Darr, please.”
He laughs against me while his tongue continues thrusting deeper. My breath catches in my throat when my orgasm explodes inside me. Darrian licks between my legs until my body stops shaking and my legs go limp. He climbs back up my body, creating a wet path from my pelvic bone to my collarbone, sucking and nipping before he reaches my lips. His arms frame my face while he kisses me hungrily until we both taste like me. I grip his back and arch into him at the same time he enters me swiftly, filling me completely. He pushes in and out, creating another wave of friction building another storm inside me. I’m vaguely aware that he is bare and there is no barrier between us. I’m on the pill, but we didn’t discuss it. I should stop him, but the thought is fleeting when the pleasure becomes too intense. Darrian slams into me, pushing us both over the edge. He tells me he fucking loves me so goddamn much as he empties inside me, groaning, his breathing ragged. What we did was walking a fine line of stupid and I tuck away the information to discuss with him at a later time. It was also amazing. If anyone were to ask me what it’s like to be head over heels completely in love, I’d describe what just happened here. Time stood still and the earth moved and shattered around us in bright colors.
Darrian pushes onto his arms, peering down at me. Our stomachs are stuck together in a light film of sweat. His lips brush over my forehead in a light kiss before he pulls out of me and moves to the edge of the bed. He looks at himself then between my legs. My eyebrow arches. Without saying anything, he gets up and heads to the bathroom, keeping the door cracked so I’m not in complete darkness. I get up slowly and throw his shirt on over my head. Right when I reach the bathroom, he steps out, brushing a quick kiss to my lips before he throws his boxers on and lays back on the bed. I decide not to analyze anything right now. Instead, I take care of myself then join him back under the covers.
“Want to stay here?” he asks. I nod. “Do you need to let your dad know?”
I laugh. “I think this is the last thing he needs to know about,” I tease before picking up my phone and typing out a quick text.
Nora: I’m staying out tonight. Be home after breakfast.
I wait for a few minutes, biting the edge of my nail before he responds.
Dad: Okay. Be careful.
“All good,” I say before laying my head on Darrian’s chest. He wraps his arm around me while his free hand draws circles on the skin of the arm I have draped across his chest. His heartbeat evens out, the soft thud creating a steady comfort. My eyes close.
“Sleep baby,” Darrian whispers in my ear before I slip away, listening to him.
Spring came fast and furious in Araminta. The talk of the city for weeks was the continuous raids and drug busts. Turns out Zero-Thirteen had been a little too cocky. Mr. King’s face was almost purple with anger at how many of his buildings have been infiltrated by the gang that was indeed working for the cartel. As promised, Trent’s name and face had managed to stay out of the media. The other person to avoid the limelight was Investigator McCall. While his task force was mentioned, he was never named or photographed.
The biggest victory was the day Pierce was also arrested. It was also the first night I slept soundly without a night light. Of course none of that would have been possible if it hadn’t been for Trent. Much to Darrian’s displeasure, I picked up Trent and forced him to have a meal with me. We hadn’t talked since I told him my plans to be with Darrian. We text, but I was done with him avoiding me. We had been friends before all of this. He helped me through some dark days and now I wanted to be there for him.
“I don’t understand why we had to drive all the way to the island so early is all I’m saying,” he groans as we slide into our booth at Tilly’s Café.
“Because you have to come early to get a good seat,” I remind him again. When Trent is hungry, he reverts to a six-year-old mentality until he eats.
Our waitress stops by and takes our orders. Once she’s gone, we fall silent. I hate the awkwardness. “Trent, I’m sorry for going off on you about the whole Zero-Thirteen thing. I was surprised and worried, but I should have asked how you were rather than projecting my shit on you,” I tell him.
He smiles, shaking his head. “Oh Sutton, what am I going to do with you? Don’t beat yourself up about it. It was a lot to take in. I’m just glad it’s over.”
“Is it really though? I keep waiting for some type of retaliation against you guys,” I confide in him. It’s been a few weeks, but I know from experience to never fully let my guard down.
“Don’t think about it,” he tells me while drinking his juice. “They’re all behind bars. Plus thanks to your boyfriend and McCall, no one knows I’m involved.”
“But you’re still leaving,” I remind him, feeling conflicted. I want to cry and yell, but I also just want to hug him and wish him the best like he has always done for me.
“I am.” He smiles. “But I’ll be back someday. When the tour hits in North Carolina, I’ll make sure to get you and Lily passes. It will be like old times.”
I use my napkin to dab at the tears racing down my cheeks. “Still though. The rest of senior year won’t be the same without you. I’m going to miss you so much.” I hiccup the last part.
Trent leans across the table and swipes another escaping tear with his fingers. “You’re killing me, Sutton,” he says, his voice is thick and scratchy with emotion. “I need to do this right now. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime if I want to go pro. I’ll still be finishing school, I just won’t be at graduation. Besides” —he winks at me— “you’re in plenty of safe hands. It’s my time to bow out and chase my dream too.”
I sniffle. In my heart, I know he’s right. It’s the selfish bitchy part of me that wants to keep everyone together even though I know it’s unreasonable. In another two months, we’ll all be going our separate ways. “I know,” I tell him. “I want you to find your dream. I’ll always be here for you too, okay?”
“Okay, Nora,” he says, and we share a smile. After our food comes, my mood returns to normal. Trent gives me shit about being ‘hangry’ and we talk the rest of the time about his mentorship and motocross league.
“Your mom is really fine with you leaving for Florida all on your own?” I joke because Trent’s mom is the absolute definition of helicopter parent. Her heart is in the right place, but she has no boundaries.
He busts out laughing. “She’s not happy. My dad had to pry the computer from her hand before she tried buying herself a plane ticket too. Hopefully she’ll come around before I actually have to leave.”
“I’m sure she will,” I tell him. We finish eating and spend another hour catching up and making plans for when we see each other again. Before noon, we make it back into the city. I drop Trent off at his house before heading home. My phone dings as I’m backing out. A quick glance down and I read:
Lily: 911. Can you come over?
Nora: Abso-fucking-lutely :)
She doesn’t respond and my heart sinks. That’s very unlike her. I make the short drive to Lily’s home. She opens the front door before I can even knock and launches her body into mine. I get a quick glance at her face enough to notice the puffiness and red splotches.
“What happened?” I ask gently, running her long strands through my fingers. She shudders in my arms, a small sob squeezes her throat.
“Ethan,” she chokes out before breaking down again. I move us down the hallway to where her room is. We sit on her bed and I wrap her up into my arms while she cries uncontrollably. I wait and rock her, letting her take the time to let her grief out. The feeling is comforting and reminds me of my aunt Meredith.
When her sobs turn to deep breaths and hiccups, I sit up and hand her a Kleenex. “Thanks,” she says with a watery grin. “Sorry for being such a basket case.”
“What happened?” I ask her again.
She shrugs, biting her lip to keep from tearing up all over again. “He found out I’m not going to NYU and that I decided on UNC.”
“Was he mad?” I question.
“Yeah,” she replies, sucking in deep breaths. “He, uh, he said I wasn’t there for him. That I, uh, I was taking the easy way out. I mean, can you believe it? He’s been pushing me away for months and he has the balls to act hurt that I don’t want to be on the same college campus as him!”
I shake my head in agreement with her.
She falls silent, staring at her fingers. “There is something else too,” she whispers.
“Okay, what?” I ask, reaching for her hand closest to me and giving it a squeeze.
“They’re adopted,” she breathes out. “Apparently they were adopted by the Kings when they were little. I don’t know everything, but something bad happened, I think. The idiot actually thought that just because he wasn’t born blue-blooded that I wouldn’t still love him. He’s such an asshole.”
Her words hit me, and other parts of the puzzle start to click into place. This must be the thing that Darrian was talking about. The story that wasn’t his to tell.
“Well,” I tell her. “I think Ethan needs to find himself and accept himself before he will believe you do. Those boys are so messed up with their parent issues and having too much money to fix things. If you love him, give him time. If he continues to be a jerk to you, know that you deserve better. You can’t fix him right now. He needs to do it on his own.”
She nods. “You’re right. It just hurts so badly.” She sniffles again.
“Okay,” I interrupt, standing up. “Enough of this. Let’s call up Olivia and Shea, get dressed up and go out tonight. We haven’t had a girl’s night to party in too long. Let’s dance it out!” I shout our favorite Grey’s Anatomy line.
“I’ll grab the vodka!” she yells and I quickly take my phone and type to the girls that we need reinforcements. They both respond that they are on their way.
“This is perfect,” I tell Lily while she pours us drinks. “We can also celebrate that everyone is officially accepted into their dream schools.”
We clink glasses. “Yay for us!” she shouts, and I can already see her spirit has lifted.
“You started without me?” Olivia jokes, standing in the doorway a few minutes later.
“That’s because you drive like a grandma,” Shea jokes with her before they join us on the bed and take their drinks. We laugh.
“I think a cheers is in order,” Olivia states, raising her glass.
We raise ‘em up.
“Who’s got one?” she asks, laughing.
“You don’t?” Shea laughs too and Olivia shrugs her shoulders.
“It was my idea, didn’t mean I actually had one in mind,” she replies.
“I’ll do it,” I tell them before clearing my throat. “Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka…well, vodka makes you not remember any of that crap! Drink up!” We cheer and clink our glasses.
“I got one.” Shea raises her hand. “Okay. Here is to being young. Here is to being dumb. And here is to being in love. Let’s toast to being young, dumb, and in love, but let’s not toast to chlamydia! Drink up, sluts!”
“Oh my God, Shea,” I laugh hysterically. Lily is rolled up next to me, holding her stomach from laughing hard too.
We all spend the night having drinks and eating junk food. We dance party it out to Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy,” Bishop Brigg’s “River,” and a little bit of Grace’s “You Don’t Own Me.” We never make it to a party or even downtown to a club. With only so much time left in our senior year, we just take the time to relax and be together. These are the real memories worth keeping.
I groan as I walk up the steps toward the high school. Lately, all I can think about are the bad memories embedded within those walls. I chose to come early enough in order to avoid as many eyes as possible. Get in, pay the money, and get out. Lily promised to meet me near the front doors to give me the ticket. My ticket to prom. I feel shitty having to go through her best friend, but the last few weeks Nora has been closed off. She won’t discuss the dance with anyone. Won’t let me apologize, won’t hear me out. Even after I was done slowly thrusting into her this morning, after letting her spiral out of control all over my dick, she still wouldn’t talk about it. I get it. I fucked up in the worst way imaginable last year. It didn’t matter why anymore. I had hurt her and that was what she was clinging to the most.
In the entryway, I instantly feel relief when Lily’s blonde head pops out from behind the pillar. Thank fuck I wouldn’t be waiting long.
“No issues?” I ask her, taking out my wallet and pulling a crisp one hundo from the inside.
“Nope,” she says, popping the P. “You are all registered. That is way more than what the tickets cost by the way.” She points toward the bill I’m holding out for her.
“Consider it a tip,” I answer before shoving it in her hand. “Use it when you guys go do the girl shit you need to do like hair and stuff.” I really have no idea what they spend the whole morning doing before. I usually just get dressed in my tux and show up where I need to be. This year though I’ll do whatever it takes and be wherever Nora wants me to be.
“We still good for tomorrow night?” I double-check while I have her here. It feels shady when I’m texting Lily behind Nora’s back, even though the surprise is for her.
“Dude,” she responds, arching her eyebrow. “Nora is my bestie. I’m happy you finally pulled your head out from your ass and got your shit together. So yes, everything to make my Nora happy has been planned to a T. I wouldn’t ditch out on this. You just get her there by seven tomorrow, okay?”
I roll my eyes. Usually I would have walked away by now if this was anyone but Lily. She’s Nora’s best friend though and future roommate. I figure I better stay in her good graces if I have any chance of bribing her to leave the dorm room this fall when I visit.
“Got it,” I tell her with a middle finger salute. Because she’s Lily and she’s used to our King antics, she belts out a laugh before turning around and flipping me off over her head. She’s crazy. Not to mention she’s my cousin’s love of his life even though he’s being a dumbass right now.
I hurry back out the doors and down the front steps. I’m holding Lily to her word that she has everything set up how we discussed. I desperately need this to work in order for the final nail to securely close the door to our past. I need to override the memories from last year with only good ones of this year. I drive back to the college and slide into a seat right before the professor turns around. Not that I hear a single word he says the entire rest of the lecture. My head is a running checklist of all that still needs to be accomplished. I check my phone again looking at the time. I have only until four to reach the bank and deposit the money I owe the location still. Convincing a restaurant to stay open late and on a weeknight was both costly and time-consuming. I spent the majority of the night yesterday hanging up flyers announcing the special treat. It would be better if a large crowd showed up so I wouldn’t feel as guilty about convincing them to be open in their offseason. I also needed to get to the post office and check that my priority package from Gonzaga arrived.
By the time my classes are over, I have learned absolutely nothing except a reminder that finals are less than a month away. I’ll have to borrow someone’s notes from today and double-check the reading material. With my grades from this year ready to transfer to Gonzaga I need to maintain the A average I currently had. By now the high school is done for the day too. I swallow down my nerves when I pull up Nora’s name and send her a quick text.
Darrian: Hey, coach has me running extra tonight. I won’t be able to pick you up. I’m sorry.
Nora: K
Nora: Lily just said she could bring me home. Talk later?
Darrian: Absolutely
Nora: K. Work hard ;)
Darrian: Always do
My stomach roils because I know I just lied. I do have to meet Coach. I just need the extra time to run all my other errands befo
re meeting Coach that I can’t drive her. Even though the threat is gone, our routine hasn’t changed much. Not that I’m complaining. If it wasn’t weird as fuck, I’d probably sit through all her classes with her too.
I make all my stops and still make it to practice, where Coach does go hard on me. We only have so much time before I need to leave, and I need to be in the best possible shape.
“You can’t give them any reason to regret picking you. It’s not just your reputation on the court you need to fix,” he reminds me. His words pack a punch and determination flares in my heart. I don’t give up easily.
When I get home, my mind and body are exhausted. A dull ache is forming behind my eye sockets. I gently massage my temples for some relief, knowing the only way I’ll actually feel better is to slam some water then sleep. Before I do, I need to set the next part of the plan in motion. I send two texts and add a silent prayer they aren’t together for some reason.
Darrian: The dress arrive?
Darrian: Coach did a number on me. Can we talk tomorrow?
Bubbles form in both texts. I hold my breath.
Lily: Yes. It’s gorgeous! Good choice D. I approve.
Nora: K. And yes.
I sigh in relief at Lily’s text. Nora’s, though makes me nervous. Why is she being so distant?
Darrian: K. I also have to get some paperwork notarized in the morning for school so I can’t drive you. Dinner tomorrow night though?
