“Now he’s got a scar!” says Trip. “It’s really awesome.”
“We were going to show you guys a picture of my scar, but, well, the doctors went through the back of my hip bone, so you’d kind of be looking at my butt.”
The audience laughs.
“I’ve skipped ahead a little, so let me start at the beginning. You see, my little sister, Maddie, who some of you know, has trouble fighting off germs. A little cold for you or me would be a major illness for Maddie, so she’s had to stay in her room for most of her life. It’s because she was born with a condition that makes her germ-fighting cells too weak to do their job.”
“It’s called severe combined immunodeficiency, or SCID for short,” says Trip, clicking forward to the first slide in our presentation. “Sammy’s mother had an idea about using teeny tiny nanorobots to build healthy stem cells for Maddie. Because healthy stem cells in her blood would help her battle germs and junk.”
“Mom’s first idea didn’t work out,” I add. “She called it a colossal mistake. But mistakes are something that happen to all great inventors. Every once in a while, they just chase the wrong idea down a blind alley. For instance, Thomas Edison.”
We click to our next slide.
“Sure, he invented the lightbulb, the phonograph, and all sorts of other cool stuff. But he also made some major mistakes. Like this idea.”
CLICK.
“That’s one of Mr. Edison’s other inventions. The concrete house—complete with concrete furniture and concrete pianos.”
“Anyway,” I say, “one day, Trip and I were making this major mistake of our own involving a ball inside a box. When I said something about making the ball and the box out of the same material, my mother said, ‘Eureka!’”
“Not really,” says Trip. “I think she said, ‘Woo-hoo!’”
“She sure did. Because our mistake with the ball inside the box gave her an idea about how to fix her mistake! That’s what scientists do. They make mistakes and discover stuff they didn’t even know they were looking for.”
We click to the next slide.
“For instance,” I say, “potato chips. They started as a prank. A cranky customer complained about chef George Crum’s fried potatoes. Said they were too thick, soggy, and bland. The customer sent them back to the kitchen and demanded a new batch.”
“Well,” says Trip, picking up the tale, “Chef Crum didn’t like that. So he sliced a potato into paper-thin pieces and fried them until they were so crispy a fork could crack ’em. Then he poured on a ton of salt so the customer would quit complaining about how ‘bland’ they tasted.”
“But his trick backfired,” I add. “The customer loved the crispy, salty, thin potato things! He even ordered a second helping. The potato chip was born!”
“That accidental invention became a multibillion-dollar business,” says Trip.
“Well, our little mistake may have led to something bigger and better,” I say.
It’s true.
We’re onto something even more important than potato chips!
The slides behind us are really clicking now.
Most are pictures of nanorobots and Mom in her workshop.
“My mother heard what I said about making our bubble ball out of the same material as the plastic box, and she realized that if she started with the same material, her job might be easier. The most effective treatment for SCID is transplanting blood-forming stem cells from the bone marrow of a healthy family member…”
“Like Sammy,” says Trip, pointing at me.
“And the ideal donor would be an identical twin.”
“Not Sammy,” says Trip.
“Since Maddie and I have the same parents, there was a twenty-five percent chance that our bone marrow would match.”
“Because,” Trip explains, “Sammy and Maddie are made out of the same material.”
“We’re made out of similar genes, anyway,” I say. “Mom and her doctor friends did some tests, and I was a pretty good partial match. So first I checked into the hospital for two days.”
“They knocked him out with anesthesia, put him on an operating table—the whole nine yards,” says Trip.
“While I was asleep, they harvested my bone marrow with a big needle that pierced my skin, went into my hip bone, and sucked up a bunch of thick liquid from the center of the bone. That’s bone marrow.”
“Ouch!” says Trip. “I bet that hurt.”
“Nope. I didn’t feel a thing. And the whole dealio only took two hours.”
Okay. I admit it was a little bit scary. At first. But they don’t need to know that.
Right?
“My body will replace every single one of the cells they took out in, like, two more weeks,” I tell the audience.
“Meanwhile,” says Trip, “Dr. Hayes unleashed a swarm of bubble-bots—”
“Real bubble-bots,” I interrupt, looking straight at Randolph’s sulky face. “Injected right into my marrow. Bubble-bots aren’t bears blowing soap bubbles, Randy. They’re actually like tiny bulldozers.”
“We’re talking microbots smaller than the width of a human hair,” Trip says. “These tiny robots, guided by lasers, can be used to push cells together and splice genes!”
“Mom’s microbots shoved a couple molecules around, went to town on a few genes, and ta-da!My partial-match bone marrow became a perfect match. Only now it had all the stuff her blood needs to fight off infection! The whole thing was a total success.”
“But don’t take our word for it,” says Trip. “Like all good scientists, we will demonstrate our results.”
We turn off the projector and gesture for Mrs. Kunkel to turn up the stage lights.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present my best friend since forever. My sister, who up until a few days ago couldn’t ever leave our house except to go to the hospital. Who can now go anywhere a normal eight-year-old can go. Introducing, live and in person… Maddie!”
Maddie takes a couple of bows at center stage. Tears of joy are streaming down her cheeks.
She isn’t inside a plastic walker ball.
She isn’t being wheeled in on a gurney by a pair of paramedics.
She isn’t even wearing a surgical mask.
She’s just walking and smiling and looking like the happiest third grader in the whole entire world!
I don’t think she’s ever been happier.
Me either.
Then E strolls out onstage. More cheers.
“Congratulations, Maddie. You don’t need me anymore,” says E with a smile. “You can be your own eyes and ears here at Creekside Elementary.”
“That doesn’t mean Sammy and I don’t need you. You’re our bro-bot.”
And we all hug it out in front of the whole school.
Yeah, it’s kind of mushy, but we don’t care. We’re family.
After the group hug, I decide to say a few words about what I’ve learned over the last couple of months.
“Here’s the most important thing I picked up working on this project: mistakes and failures are a huge part of the scientific process. They’re what happens whenever you try to create something new.
“So, Randolph? I hope your bubble-blowing bear leads you to something spectacular. It’s like my father says all the time: ‘I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking about making a few more.’”
Dad whistles in the wings. “You tell ’em, Sammy.”
“Woo-hoo!” adds Maddie, jamming her fingers in her mouth so she can whistle, too.
My mother can’t whistle, so she doesn’t even try. But she’s watching me with so much love and pride that I feel ten feet tall.
Is this what it feels like to be a scientist? Because all of a sudden, I want to be one.
Just like my mom.
That night, we all make dinner together.
To celebrate Mom’s major breakthrough on Project Maddie: Phase Two, we’re cooking her favorite—spaghetti with vegan meatballs (that means t
hey’re not made out of meat, but it’s a better name than “tofuballs”).
We’re also making a royal mess.
“Since it’s already dark out,” says Maddie, “after dinner, can we go catch fireflies in the backyard? I already punched holes in the lid of an old jar.”
You see, she’s super eager to do all the kid stuff she’s never been able to do before.
“Unfortunately,” says E, “it’s the wrong time of year, Maddie. Fireflies are much more common in the summer months.”
“You see?” I tell E. “This is why we still need you. For nerdy information like that.”
“But I was designed and engineered to go to Creekside Elementary for Maddie. Now that my services are no longer required, perhaps I’ll find another mode of employment.”
“Sammy’s right,” says Mom. “The kids need you, E. We all need you.”
“Um, the spaghetti is kind of glued together in a big wad,” reports Dad from the stove. “Should I have broken up the noodles before I put them in the sauce?”
“No,” says Maddie. “You should’ve put the spaghetti in the boiling water, not in the spaghetti sauce.”
“Oops,” says Dad. “My mistake.”
“Mistakes are good,” says Mom. “Right, Sammy?”
“Well,” I say, “maybe in science. Spaghetti? Not so much.”
“But I wanted to go out to dinner tonight, anyway,” says Mom, grabbing her jacket. She pulls out her remote for the SUV and talks into it. “Soovee? Let’s roll. We’re going to Papa Pasquale’s.”
“Really?” squeals Maddie. She’s excited. She’s never gone out to dinner before.
Dad turns off the burners. Trip and I grab our hoodies. Maddie just sort of stands there. She’s so happy, she’s trembling.
“Do I really get to go, too?” she asks.
“Yes, Maddie,” says Mom. I can hear the lump in her throat. It’s probably the same size as the one in mine. “From now on, honey, you can go anywhere and everywhere with us.”
“Is it chilly out?” asks Maddie.
“Indeed,” says E. “The temperature has dropped into the forties, with a twenty-three percent probability of precipitation.”
“But I don’t even own a jacket,” says Maddie. “I never needed one.”
“You can borrow mine,” I say, handing her my hoodie. “I’ll grab my Notre Dame windbreaker.”
Maddie pulls my hoodie on over her head. Yes, it’s two sizes too big, but it’ll keep her warm and toasty.
“Come on, E,” says Dad. “You’re coming with us, too. You always know what to order.”
“Well, sir, I have created a list of the most popular items on Pasquale’s dinner menu by cross-referencing several different internet restaurant review sites…”
Everybody heads out the door.
Maddie and I bring up the rear.
She tugs on the sleeve of my blue and gold jacket.
“Sammy?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“No problem,” I say. “You can borrow that as long as you need to.”
“No, I mean thank you for giving me the best gift any brother’s ever given any sister.”
She looks at me with those bright blue eyes.
I don’t know what to say.
Fortunately, Maddie does. “You’ll always be my very best friend, Samuel Hayes-Rodriguez. Forever.” She gives me a strong hug. “Come on,” she says. “Everybody’s waiting.”
We hurry out the back door and pile into the idling SUV.
“Seat belts, please,” purrs Soovee.
When we’re all buckled up, the autonomous automobile backs out of the driveway and whirs up the road.
“Oh, in all the excitement at school,” says Mom, “I forgot to tell you guys I heard from one of those big car company executives.”
“And?” says Dad.
“He changed his mind. Now he wants to work with me on my self-driving SUV idea.”
“That’s fantastic!” I say.
“Way to go, Mom!” adds Maddie.
“Thank you,” she says. “But I told him I’d rather keep working on Project Soovee by myself.”
“Whaaaat?” I say. “You’re turning down all that money?”
“That’s right. Soovee had a few false starts and made a couple mistakes. But she’s a part of this family now.” She pats the SUV’s dashboard. “And when you’re a member of this family, we never, never, never give up on you.”
“I know,” says Maddie, practically bursting with joy. “Just look at me!”
So this is it. Sciriustrati Fibronoculareus Junior High School.
I’m not really sure how to pronounce it, but Dad said everybody just calls it Sci-Fi Junior High. The whole way over here I’ve been trying to come up with a plan to keep Mom from coming in to school with me. And I think I’ve got it! All I need is a flashlight, a jet pack, three gallons of blueberry yogurt, forty feet of high-strength fishing line, and a bucket of…
“You know what, Kelvin? Why don’t you just go ahead into your meeting without me?”
… golf balls.
“I’m sure the last thing you need is to be seen with your mom on your first day, right?”
I can’t believe it! It worked! My plan actually worked! And I didn’t even have to… you know… use it!
Yikes. Now I kinda wish she was here. Starting at a new school… with a weird name… in the middle of outer space? What was I thinking, wanting to do this by myself? What if I get lost? What if I accidentally open the wrong door and get sucked out an air lock? What if my helmet cracks and my head implodes while I’m standing out here thinking about all the horrible things that could happen?
I’d better get inside.
Well, here goes nothing. What do I have to be afraid of, anyway? I’ve been to plenty of new schools. I mean, how different could this one really be?
JAMES PATTERSON received the Literarian Award for Outstanding Service to the American Literary Community at the 2015 National Book Awards. He holds the Guinness World Record for the most #1 New York Times bestsellers, including Middle School, Jackie Ha-Ha, and I Funny, and his books have sold more than 350 million copies worldwide. A tireless champion of the power of books and reading, Patterson created a children’s book imprint, JIMMY Patterson, whose mission is simple: “We want every kid who finishes a JIMMY Book to say, ‘PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER BOOK.’” He has donated more than one million books to students and soldiers and funds over four hundred Teacher Education Scholarships at twenty-four colleges and universities. He has also donated millions to independent bookstores and school libraries. Patterson invests proceeds from the sales of JIMMY Patterson Books in pro-reading initiatives.
CHRIS GRABENSTEIN is a New York Times bestselling author who has also collaborated with James Patterson on the I Funny, Treasure Hunters, and House of Robots series, as well as on Jacky Ha-Ha and Word of Mouse. He lives in New York City.
JULIANA NEUFELD is an award-winning illustrator whose drawings can be found in books, on album covers, and in nooks and crannies throughout the internet. She lives in Toronto.
JIMMY PATTERSON BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS
JAMES PATTERSON PRESENTS
Sci-Fi Junior High by John Martin and Scott Seegert
THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life
Middle School: Get Me Out of Here!
Middle School: Big Fat Liar
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli, and Snake Hill
Middle School: Ultimate Showdown
Middle School: Save Rafe!
Middle School: Just My Rotten Luck
Middle School: Dog’s Best Friend
Middle School: Escape to Australia
THE I FUNNY SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
I Funny
I Even Funnier
I Totally Funniest
I Funny TV
I Funny: School of Laughs
THE
TREASURE HUNTERS SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
Treasure Hunters
Treasure Hunters: Danger Down the Nile
Treasure Hunters: Secret of the Forbidden City
Treasure Hunters: Peril at the Top of the World
THE HOUSE OF ROBOTS SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
House of Robots
House of Robots: Robots Go Wild!
House of Robots: Robot Revolution
THE DANIEL X SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
The Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Daniel X: Watch the Skies
Daniel X: Demons and Druids
Daniel X: Game Over
Daniel X: Armageddon
Daniel X: Lights Out
OTHER ILLUSTRATED NOVELS
Word of Mouse
Jacky Ha-Ha
Public School Superhero
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