“Hero?”
She smoothed her nose along his jaw. “You swooped in and rescued me exactly when I needed it most.”
He tsked, his puff of breath tickling her ear. “It doesn’t count as rescuing for a man to take care of the mother of his child, as he’s supposed to do, anyway.”
“It felt like rescuing, all the same.”
She angled her face up to kiss his cheek, but as her lips touched his skin, he turned and captured her mouth with a tender kiss. Her whole body lit up with sensation. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back, reverently, trying to let him know without words that he really was her hero.
This kiss was different from their kisses during their first encounter. Those had been reckless and sloppy—a means to satisfying a wholly selfish pleasure. That first kiss hadn’t carried any of the connection they’d now forged. She wasn’t kissing a hot guy from the nightclub. She was kissing the father of her child.
His hands came up to cradle her face. With a hum of approval, she swept her tongue over his closed lips, wanting more. His body went rigid, and then, as if something had snapped inside him, he pressed her to the wall with a growl, his kiss turning wicked, needful. When she opened her mouth for him, he took it, plundering her with his tongue. Her body came alive with a hunger so potent, so desperate, that it was all she could do to cling to him and let him take from her what he demanded.
As abruptly as he’d initiated the kiss, he stopped it. Still cradling her head, he kept his face close, breathing hard through parted lips as he met her searching gaze. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
“Of course we can.”
He dropped his hands and peeled away from her.
She pressed her palms to the wall behind her, finding her footing and relearning how to breathe.
He propped a forearm on the wall opposite her, his head bent, and let out a sigh that seemed to well up from the deepest, darkest depths of his soul. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m finding you harder and harder to resist.”
Her heart gave a painful squeeze. She wished he hadn’t apologized for doing what they both wanted. “That’s a good thing.”
His gaze shot up to lock with hers. Gone was the raw need and open heart he’d shared with her only a few moments ago, and it its place was a mask that might as well have been made of iron. “No, it really isn’t. Tell me how starting a physical relationship helps us, long term, as coparents? We’re in such a good place right now, why would we risk ruining everything?”
“Sometimes risk is worth it.”
“Okay, yes, but not in this case. Because what if things don’t work out between us, which is practically a statistical inevitability, and you leave the ranch? Then what happens when the baby’s born—I get weekend visitation rights? You already made up your mind to move out as soon as you have the money to afford it. At least if we stay friends, I have a better chance of convincing you to live at Lucky C permanently. We can be a family. It might be unconventional, but it’s the best-case scenario to allow me to be a full-time father to my child.”
She hated that he was right about so many points, but she couldn’t shake the idea that this was a time to think with their hearts, not their brains. “Your whole life, your family’s made you feel like you’re not good enough, and you let that seep into your thinking and your self-worth. You know how I know that? Because the same happened to me, growing up, and then with this pregnancy. I’ve never been holy enough or repentant enough. I’ve never lived up to others’ standards.”
“You’re more than enough, Hannah.”
“You’re more than enough for me, too. These past few weeks, I’ve come to care about you. A lot. The more time I spend around you, the more I want to spend. You make me laugh. You make me feel cherished. You make me feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m not leaving the ranch, Brett. I’m here for good.”
The iron mask remained steadfastly in place. “That’s easy for you to say today, but how about in a year or two? What happens if we don’t work out romantically, and in a couple years down the road you want to start dating again? Are you still going to live with me then? Think about it, Hannah.”
She touched his chest, but she may as well have been touching a statue. “I don’t want to be afraid to try.”
He sidestepped out of reach. “It’s not about fear. It’s about doing the right thing, the smart thing. Doesn’t matter what your hormones or my hormones are telling us to do, I have a responsibility to you and the baby and I’m not going to go mucking it up by taking advantage of you when you’re in a vulnerable state. That’s something the old Brett would’ve done, but I’m not that loser anymore.”
And with that, he strode away, down the hall, past the open door to his mother’s room, and disappeared from view.
* * *
The way Hannah saw it, there were only two possible reasons that Brett was killing himself to protect the ranch by patrolling the ranch’s eleven thousand acres at all hours of the day and night except for the time he spent mounting security cameras and motion-sensor lights on every building, and changing locks on all the doors of the Big House. Either he wasn’t being honest with her and the others about what had happened the night of the hunting blind fire in the backcountry or he was desperate to avoid Hannah.
In the days since their kiss at the hospital, she’d barely seen him except for glimpses of him stolen from her balcony. He was strung out and on edge all the time. She longed to reach out to him, to soothe his worries and get to the heart of what was bothering him, but getting him alone had proved impossible. Even if she could, she wasn’t sure she’d try to kiss him again, he was so dead-set on the two of them not getting involved romantically.
Rather than succumb to sleep only to have the baby wake her with its midnight soccer practice, she’d taken to staying up late and using the time to sift through the previous year’s bank statements, checks and ledgers, doing as much as she could without the benefit of the computer spreadsheets she’d created. If only she hadn’t sold her laptop to pay her student loan, she might be able to avoid the ranch office altogether, thereby avoiding the threat of Rafe stopping by to leer at her under the auspices of offering help.
As midnight neared, her eyes started to burn. She removed her reading glasses and rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t finished going through the entire previous year’s finances, but she’d gone through another two months’ worth of data and had discovered another two thousand dollars to be missing, which put the total close to twenty thousand dollars and change.
She hadn’t talked to Brett about the accounting discrepancies because she still wasn’t sure if there really was something illegal happening or if she was overthinking the situation. After all, of the two possible scenarios—embezzlement or bad math and typos courtesy of Big J’s lack of formal business training—it didn’t take a genius to figure out which would, statistically, be the more likely truth. Until she had unequivocal proof of wrongdoing, she refused to burden Brett with her suspicions.
She was gathering the papers into the manila envelope when the baby started in with a thump-thump-flutter rhythm against her ribs. She rubbed the top of her growing baby bump as she hauled herself up from the floor using the sofa arm as support. “A bit early, isn’t it, little one?”
She tucked the envelope in the hiding spot behind the vanity, debating how to kill time until the baby simmered down and she dared to attempt sleep. She had a hand on the television remote control when she spotted her phone. Tonight was Lori’s night to close at the café.
Can you talk? she texted.
As she waited for a reply, she grabbed the jam jar and a spoon from the tray on the coffee table. Tonight’s late-night snack had been a lemon-poppy-seed scone. The scone was long gone but the jar of Maria’s homemade strawberry jam was still half full
. Her eyes rolled back in her head as the first bite hit her tongue.
Her phone chimed. Sure. I just got home. Call me.
Lori picked up on the first ring. “What are you still doing awake?” she said.
Hannah swallowed another bite of jam and paced to the balcony door, looking out at the night. “Can’t sleep. Baby’s a midnight acrobat.”
“How fun, though, right? To feel it move.”
The ranch was quiet, though one of the motion-sensor lights on the barn had turned on. “I do love it.”
“So then why don’t you sound happier? Is everything okay with your baby daddy?”
How could she explain it to Lori? Her relationship with Brett was so complicated. “He’s a great guy. Really great.”
“What about that pantie-melting charm you were so worried about?”
“He really is charming, but he’s not a player anymore. He’s so committed to his family and to being a father. Almost to a fault. He’s taking great care of me.”
“And by taking care of you, you mean he’s bringing you to screaming orgasms every night, right?”
“No. Not that. Not yet.”
“His call or yours?”
“His.”
Lori groaned. “Don’t tell me he’s an overthinker like you.”
Of all the attributes she was discovering that she and Brett shared, she’d hadn’t considered that one, but Lori had a point. “Little bit, yeah. But I’ve only been here a few weeks. There’s time.”
“Yes, except that you’re a walking, breathing ball of lusty hormones who clearly has a mad crush on your baby daddy. Who happens to sleep one wall away from you.”
Hannah swirled the spoon in her mouth, her lips kicking up in a smile. “There is that.”
“Could you knock on the wall right now and wake him up? Or better yet, burst into his room wearing nothing but sexy lingerie?”
“I don’t actually own any sexy lingerie, but I couldn’t do that, anyway, because he’s out.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Not like that. Some vandal’s been tampering with the fences around the ranch, so he and some of the other men on the ranch have been conducting nightly patrols of the grounds.”
“Oh, wow. That’s not good. First his mother was attacked during a robbery the month before and now this. Hannah, sweetie, are you safe there?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “I think so. Brett keeps telling me I am.”
“I hear a but.”
“But I don’t know. Sometimes I get the weirdest vibes that someone’s watching me.”
“Creepy.”
“Yeah, I know. I think I’m just psyching myself out because...” She debated the merits of sharing the accounting discrepancies with Lori, then decided against it. No need for her to worry.
“Because what?”
Hannah pressed her hand to the window, thinking fast for a reason that would satisfy Lori’s curiosity. “A few of the workers swear they’ve seen ghosts on the prairie.”
Lori snorted. “Remember, you’re an overthinker. Of course you’re psyching yourself out. You’re staying in a new home where someone’s been attacked and people are talking about ghost sightings. I’d be wigged out, too.”
“That’s my thought.” She mindlessly scooped another spoonful of jam. It wasn’t until she’d put the spoon in her mouth that she realized there hadn’t been any jam on it. The jar was empty. Disgusted with her lack of self-control, she dropped the spoon into the jar and set it back on the tray.
“But if you ever start to feel unsafe for real, you know we’ve always got room for you here.”
Hannah had briefly considered moving off the ranch until the culprit had been caught, but she’d dismissed the idea almost immediately, knowing that Brett would consider that a personal failure of his to be her and the baby’s provider. Moving away would damage their fledgling partnership. Besides, she didn’t yet own a car and had no idea how she’d get to and from the ranch every day to work if she moved back in with Lori.
“Thank you,” Hannah said. “I’ll keep that in mind, but every day I’m more sure I belong here.”
“Okay, well, my offer stands.”
“I love you, sweetie.”
“Love you, too. Now start planning how you’re going to seduce this new, gentlemanly Brett Colton before he steals your heart completely.”
He already has. “I’ll give it some more thought. And thanks for the sexual pep talk, as usual.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
When their call ended, Hannah navigated the touch screen of her phone to her photographs and checked out the shot she’d taken of the mystery woman. Really, it could be anyone. The daughter of one of the ranch workers, a girlfriend, one of the maids who worked for Jack. Anyone. But it looked an awful lot like Greta. Same length and color of hair, a similar build and same shape of her face.
If there had been a strange woman lurking about in broad daylight, then Hannah wouldn’t have been the only person to spot her. Others have spotted her. They think she’s a ghost.
With a shiver, Hannah dropped her phone back to the table where it was charging and walked to the balcony. After belting the robe she wore, she flung the French doors open and stepped outside. There were no ghosts in sight tonight, no lurking young women or would-be robbers. Just the balmy July night. The sky was cloudy, the half moon shrouded and casting only a faint gray glow over the roofs of the ranch buildings and the tips of the wild grasses.
The longer she stood outside, taking deep breaths, the stillness and peace of the ranch seeped into her bones. Then, in the distance, she spied movement, all shadows and darkness silhouetted in the moonlight. A tingle of fear crept up her spine.
That had to be Brett and Daniel coming home from patrol, didn’t it? But what if it wasn’t? What would she do if that was the perpetrator? She backed into a shadow on the balcony, hiding in plain sight from whoever it was who was approaching the ranch.
Then the clouds moved from in front of the moon and she saw that the movement was two horses, with men on them. That had to be Brett and Daniel. She strained her eyes, watching. When the riders crested a short rise, she made out their identities clearly. Her heart gave a flutter. She stepped from the shadows again and walked to the balcony railing.
It wasn’t long after Hannah stepped to the rail that Daniel noticed her. He said something to Brett and gestured with his head. Brett’s face shot up. His gaze locked onto Hannah. She raised a hand in a wave that he didn’t return.
Daniel said something else to him, then tugged the reins of his horse and took off in a gallop toward the stable. Brett continued on a direct path to her. He cut such a fine figure on the horse, a rifle slung across his back on a strap.
The closer he got, the more she realized that he wasn’t happy to see her. She kept a smile on her face and affection warming her features, but he looked worn to the bone, with dark circles under his eyes and a permanent frown on his lips.
He pulled his horse to a stop below her balcony, his gaze roving her body before settling on her face.
“Hi,” she called, letting her hair cascade around her like she was some princess in a tower, greeting the knight who’d come to rescue her. “Long night?”
He shook his head and looked away. His lips parted, then closed again, as though he couldn’t find the words to reply. “You shouldn’t be out here.”
She ignored his sour mood, clinging to her princess fantasy out of sheer stubbornness.
His horse sidestepped restlessly. He shifted the reins and made a clicking sound with his lips, bringing the horse back to standing still. “Your horse isn’t nearly as tired as you are.”
The next time he looked at Hannah, he wore a slight smile, his gaze still tired, but warmer. “This is
Outlaw. And he’s definitely as tired as I am. He’s ready to get back to the stable, get cleaned up and go to sleep. A lot like me.”
“Then go ahead and get Outlaw tucked in bed,” she said. “I just wanted to say hello.”
“You shouldn’t be outside this late,” he repeated.
She crossed her arms and swung a hip out in mock defiance. “Who’s going to get to me all the way up here?”
She hadn’t meant to say that as a challenge, but the moment the words fell from her lips, she got the craziest vision of him swinging off his horse and scaling the wall to reach her.
Frustration flashed across his face. “I don’t know and that’s what I’m afraid of.”
His words and his concern were a reminder of why he and the others patrolled the property every night, and it wasn’t because they enjoyed the sleepless nights. She wrapped her robe more tightly around her. He looked so beat down, and was working so darn hard to make sure everyone in his care was safe. It should be her climbing down the wall to reach him and be a balm for his troubles.
Her concern must have shown on her face because his expression softened. “Go on inside, Hannah. Get some rest. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
He was right that she was worried, but more about him than anything else at the moment. This huge house, these thick walls, and the aura of family and love made her feel safer than she ever had before. Yes, Abra had been attacked in that same house only a month earlier, but whoever had done so had to be long gone.
He didn’t wait for her reply before nudging his horse into motion again. Defying his command, she watched his proud, strong back move in the saddle until he reached the stable.
It only took her a moment of deliberation for her to decide what her next move was. She stopped by the bathroom in her suite, brushed her teeth and her hair, then stole from her room on quiet feet.
She really wasn’t a fan of the dark house. It was eerie as all get-out, probably because she didn’t yet feel 100 percent at home there. She didn’t know the sounds or what every shadow meant. But she blocked the creepiness from her mind, flipped lights on as she moved from room to room, until she got to the kitchen.
Colton's Cowboy Code Page 16