by Trina Solet
Since Ant was now his number one priority, he could channel the drive and determination that had served him in his career into making him happy. Phillip might feel out of his depth, but if he put his mind to it, he could do this. He could furnish at least one room in time for Ant's visit.
Or he could run to Leon and beg for his help. Faced with the daunting task of choosing what a little boy would like among so many options, none of which could be delivered on time, Phillip got desperate. He went out to talk to Leon.
He was relieved to see that he was just finishing up the assignment Mrs. Lahari had given him. Seeing him lurking there, Leon swiveled his chair to face him.
"You will owe that woman the biggest bunch of flowers," he said.
Phillip had to agree. "I'll owe her a raise and possibly a promotion. But order the flowers as well and have them sent to her."
"She mentioned how much she loves orchids," Leon hinted.
"Have one sitting on her desk tomorrow."
"OK. I'm ordering it," Leon said as he swilled back to face his computer monitor.
Phillip made his next request less decisively. He even stammered a little. "When you're done with that, umm, could you help me with shopping for Ant?"
Leon looked over his shoulder and smiled at him. "That sounds more like fun than work."
"It does?" Phillip said, but he was distracted by how Leon's suit stretched over his broad shoulder's and his back.
"Sure. But it would be better to go to an actual store and see the stuff in person. Plus you can take most of it home right away instead of wondering if it's going to arrive on time."
"That might work, but only if you come with me."
"It would be my pleasure," Leon said and he looked genuinely happy to come along.
In his online search, Phillip had already come across Mitchell's so that's where they went. Leon stopped just inside the doors of the kid's furniture store and asked, "Where do we start?"
Phillip was just as much at a loss as when he was shopping online. "You're leading this expedition. You decide," he said to Leon helplessly.
"Still no luck channeling your inner three-year-old? OK. I'll be your navigator again," Leon said and pointed to the right.
Phillip went along with him and smiled. He was amazed that having Leon by his side made this shopping trip into a pleasure, not a chore.
"Check it out, toy chests. You have to have one of those," Leon told him.
"One?"
"Several?" Noticing that Phillip's eye was naturally drawn to traditional, wooden chests, he told him, "Don't look at those. It's not for your toys. Check this out. This one is cool." Leon pointed out a chest that looked like an old-fashioned train car.
"It doesn't seem big enough," Phillip said as Leon opened it.
"Oh, man, you're out of control. He's going to need a warehouse, not a toy chest. OK, how about the one in the shape of an alligator? It's bigger and it has wheels." As he tested it out, Leon got a bright-eyed look that told Phillip that it was the right choice.
From there, they moved on to the most important thing – the bed. While Phillip stared at the rows of colorful beds, Leon went right up to a bed shaped like a red Formula One car.
"No racecar beds," Phillip said. Leon could hear the edge in his voice and he winced. "Sorry..." Phillip said, regretting his tone.
Leon waved off his apology. "No. I'm sorry. You told me how your brother died. I should have realized."
"It's all right. Ant would probably love it, but I think it might give me nightmares," Phillip confessed. "At least that narrows down our choices."
There weren't as many themed beds here as he had seen online, just enough of them to confuse Phillip. After they had looked around, he was no closer to a decision so he turned to Leon.
"Which one?"
"Hmm," Leon said and made a face at a bed in the shape of a soccer field and the one that closed up on top like a tent. "None of them scream out, 'I'm the one.'"
"Do we go to look somewhere else?" Phillip wondered. "That bed has to be there by midday tomorrow so everything can be set up. Maybe I can get him a normal bed he can grow into, and the sheets will make it fun?"
Leon's face fell. He was obviously not happy with that idea when they were surrounded by so many cooler options. Then he spotted something in the back. "Ooh, a dinosaur bed!"
The headboard was a green, friendly looking dinosaur with a long neck, and Leon was in love with it. That was enough reason for Phillip to buy it, but he also had a feeling that Ant would like it. They got sheets with the same theme and also a set with frogs as well as a pillow shaped like a frog's head. A striped chest of drawers, a colorful desk with a built in blackboard completed the bedroom set. They also got a gooseneck lamp with a clock as its base and a fuzzy polka dot rug. Phillip arranged for everything to be delivered and set up the next morning.
"It's amazing that they can have it done so fast. I guess money talks," Leon said as they left the store loaded down with everything that could fit in Phillip's car.
"I just want to make sure Ant walks in and likes what he sees," Phillip said and opened the trunk of his car.
"He will. I guarantee it. The sleepover will be a hit," Leon predicted.
"I hope so. At least the room will be, thanks to you. Do you want to be there when Ant sees it?" Phillip asked suddenly. The invitation surprised both him and Leon.
"Really? I'd love to see his face when he gets a load of all this," Leon said looking into the trunk which now held colorful room accessories as well as some toys they picked up while the order was being written up.
"I think Ant would like to have you there as well."
Inviting Leon wasn't a smart move, but Phillip knew Ant would be happy to see him. That was reason enough to set aside his reservations, but it wasn't his whole reason. When he asked for his help on this shopping trip, he hadn't realized yet that spending time with Leon outside the office would be so addictive.
Things were more formal between them at the office. Plus these days, he was keeping Leon and everyone else busy with extra work. But since Leon became his assistant, Phillip had noticed that he looked forward to going to work in a new way, with an unfamiliar excitement stirring deep inside him. It was like he expected something wonderful might happen there.
The highlight of his morning was that precise moment when he entered his outer office and first caught sight of Leon behind his desk. There was a jolt of something painful and sweet that Phillip tried to repress. In fact he tried to repress every feeling and impulse that concerned Leon, and then he sabotaged himself by begging for his help and spending too much time with him.
He wanted to keep him at a distance and here he was drawing him into his life and asking him to share the most important moments with the most precious person in his life. Working at cross-purposes like that, Phillip had to ask himself what was he really trying to do. Wasn't this the worst possible time to complicate his life with an infatuation with his assistant?
Chapter 11
Leaving work early the next day, Phillip took Ant to visit Lilly then brought him home with him. It was the first time Ant got to ride in his new car seat. As they drove away from the hospital, Phillip worried that Ant might be nervous about staying over, but he was excited to see the fish. Once Phillip told him Leon was going to be there, he was excited about that too.
When they arrived, Leon was waiting in front of Phillip's building with a shopping bag in his hand. He came over to the car as Phillip got out and went to unbuckle Ant from his car seat.
"You look like an astronaut strapped into that thing," Leon told Ant, who grinned up at him.
"We're going to see the fishes!" Ant told him.
"I can't wait," Leon said. "And then I'll show you what I brought." Leon held up the bag but wouldn't tell them what was in it. As soon as they got to apartment, he made a b-line for the kitchen and put the bag in the freezer.
Phillip eyed him and shook his head as he came back to the l
iving room. "You don't think that might be a dead giveaway?"
"No," Leon claimed while Ant looked like he might have a pretty good idea what was in that bag. "You don't know. It might be fish sticks."
"Fishes!" Ant said and ran over to the aquarium. Then he came back, grabbed Leon by the hand and took him over for introductions.
After telling Leon which one was the "angel bee" and which one was Ruby, it was time to show Ant his room. That's when Phillip got nervous. He was desperate for Ant to like it.
"I can't wait to see it," Leon said.
"Leon helped me pick things out," Phillip told Ant just as he opened the door to his room.
Ant let out a gasp. He stepped inside tentatively at first then more boldly as the toys and the colorful furniture drew him in.
"This is your room whenever you come over to stay with me," Phillip told him. "What do you think of your bed?"
"It's a dinosaur! Is he mine? Can I name him?" Ant asked.
"Of course you can," Phillip told him.
"What should I name him?" he asked looking from Phillip to Leon.
"How about Dino, the dinosaur?" Phillip suggested.
Ant frowned and looked at Leon for his opinion. Leon shrugged, unimpressed.
But he had an idea too. "How about Herby, the herbivore?"
"How is that better?" Phillip asked while Ant looked confused. "Herbivores like to eat plants," he explained.
"And look at this green guy. He's a herbivore all the way," Leon said pointing at the friendly dinosaur who didn't look the least bit interested in devouring a child while he slept.
"Does he like to eat ice cream?" Ant asked.
"What ice cream?" Leon said, still trying to hide his secret.
"In the freezer," Ant told him.
"Yes. He likes ice cream," Phillip said.
"Herby likes ice cream. Herby," Ant said testing out the name, then he nodded giving it his final approval.
"How is your name better than mine?" Phillip wondered.
Leon only shrugged.
From there, Leon took Ant over to the window in the living room and picked him up. He held him high so he could get a good look at the view.
"I can see everything!" Ant said.
He was kind of right. Half the city stretched out below. A handful of skyscrapers jutted up into the sky and Winslow Bridge spanned the river in the distance.
"It will be fun to look out this window when it's dark," Leon said, then turned to Phillip for confirmation. "Right?"
"We can look at it right before your bedtime," Phillip said to Ant.
"Bedtime? I don't like bedtime," Ant said with a frown.
"What kid does?" Leon said and set him down on his own feet.
Right away Ant darted off to the aquarium.
Since Ant was busy, Phillip and Leon went to the kitchen. Leon had already been there, but now he took a long hard look at Phillip's ultra modern, minimalist setup.
Being alone with him sent a shiver up and down Phillip's spine. As Phillip held his breath, Leon ran his long fingers over the cool slab of striped gray marble that was his countertop. Then he turned his eyes up to the smoky gray glass that fronted the cabinets.
"It's slick. It's equipped," Leon said as he examined the appliances. "This is a kitchen in theory only. This is an anti-kitchen. You don't cook, do you?" he said and looked at Phillip accusingly.
"I do cook, actually."
"Then why is it so clean?" Leon asked with a gotcha look in his eyes.
"Because I also clean up."
"I'll believe it when I see it," Leon said while giving Phillip a sexy, suspicious look.
"I'll be happy to cook for you any time," Phillip said then realized that he shouldn't have. And on top of that, he had put too much feeling into his words.
He was about to try to pull back a little when Ant whispered from behind him, "Macaroni and cheese."
Turning around, Phillip asked him, "Is that what you would like to eat?"
Ant nodded.
"You can't possibly have a box of mac and cheese sitting in this kitchen," Leon said in complete disbelief.
Phillip didn't bother to deny it. He simply opened a cabinet and showed him three different boxes lined up right in front. "Pick one," he said to Ant.
Phillip made the macaroni and cheese under Leon and Ant's watchful eyes. Leon was holding up Ant so he could see. There were no complaints so far.
"It looks like your uncle knows what he's doing," Leon said.
Ant nodded and smiled at Phillip with approval though all he did was mix a processed cheese product with some boiled pasta.
Leon didn't stay long after they ate the ice cream he had brought for dessert. It was clear he wanted to give Phillip some time alone with Ant before his bedtime.
"That was an interesting dinner," Leon said as Phillip walked him to the door.
"I thought I should feed him something familiar. I wanted to make Ant feel at home," Phillip explained.
"You certainly did that," Leon said with a smile.
"I was worried. When Ken first saw this place all decorated, he yelled at me. 'You have this great apartment and you do this to it. You're worse than a murderer.'"
"Wow. Harsh. I wouldn't say it's that bad. That fish tank and Ant's room are pretty great."
"Ant does seem to like his room, doesn't he?" Phillip said.
"Without a doubt."
Phillip turned to see Ant in the living room. He was explaining what he was watching on TV to Bee and Ruby.
"Thanks for inviting me," Leon said.
"Thank you for being here and bringing dessert. I have to admit, I'm not sure I'll know what to do now that I have Ant all to myself."
"You should trust yourself more. You're doing fine."
"Thank you," Phillip said as Leon went out to call the elevator. He didn't know why his approval meant so much to him, but it did.
As he went back in, Phillip didn't have to think hard about the next order of business. The tablet he had sent to the hospital was delivered and an orderly was standing by to help Lilly. With his help, she got to speak to Ant and see his new room. She also got to meet the fish. Phillip knew that seeing Ant happy and excited would help put her mind at ease. He arranged to have them Skype again in the morning.
"You'll be able to see that I'm feeding Ant a good breakfast," he told Lilly.
She then thanked him for taking care of Ant, but that didn't seem right to Phillip. He didn't deserve any thanks. He was so happy to have Ant there.
Once they were finished Skyping, Phillip was at a loss. Then he remembered that he had a lifetime of catching up to do with Ant.
"Do you want to see some pictures of your dad?" Phillip asked.
Ant got so excited, he couldn't say a word. As his eyes went wide, he only nodded. Phillip got his laptop and tried to prepare himself.
Since Tony died, he hadn't looked at any pictures of Tony except the ones in the file from the lawyer. Now he braced himself as he turned on the laptop and had Ant sit next to him on the sofa. He watched as Ant pulled his feet up and hugged his knees like he was trying to contain his excitement. That tiny child simply broke his heart.
The pictures he showed Ant were often blurry as Phillip's vision clouded with the tears he was holding back. Leaning forward eagerly, Ant was most interested in the pictures of Tony as a kid. Seeing Phillip as a kid puzzled him though. He would look from the picture back to the grown-up Phillip sitting next to him and frown like what he was seeing just didn't add up.
Phillip would have given anything to have Tony sitting right there with Ant, showing him those same pictures, joking around and telling him about all the crazy things he did. Phillip was a poor substitute, hardly trusting himself to speak. He did manage to tell Ant one story. He did it as he put him to bed.
It was about how Tony had discovered a small anthill in their back yard. He was seven and he decided to feed the ants candy. Their parents were not happy to see what he was doing.
"He liked ants," Ant said, delighted to hear it.
"He did. And he would have loved you so much," Phillip told him and kissed the top of his curly head before he tucked him in for the night.
After watching Ant fall asleep, Phillip retreated to his office to do some work. Darkness thickened around him, but he didn't go to bed. He knew it would be useless. He might as well catch up on the work he had neglected these past few days.
Hours later, he heard the sound of little feet on hardwood and then the squeak of the leather on his office couch. He turned to find Ant curled up on it.
Getting up and going over to him, Phillip said, "You could have at least brought your blanket."
He went to get it. Going into Ant's colorful bedroom, Phillip saw the blanket halfway off the bed. He sighed as he picked it up. He thought after making the guest room more kid friendly that Ant would sleep there more willingly.
He went back to his office with the blanket and a pillow. Ant was still on the couch but sitting up now. Phillip had him lie down.
"I thought you liked your room," he said as he put the pillow under Ant's blond head and tucked the blanket around him.
"I like it," Ant said. "But I like it with you too."
As he made Ant more comfortable, Phillip looked down at him with amazement. He was such a little thing, but he was all that mattered to Phillip. He let him stay there for a little while until he got sleepy again. Then he took the little sleepyhead back to his bed and stayed with him until he was sound asleep.
Chapter 12
After he left Phillip's place, Leon texted with Pavel for a while. He was at a club, sending Leon incomprehensible updates. Finally Leon called him.
He could hear "Mr. Saxobeat" in the background as Pavel answered. He raised his voice to be heard over the noise. "I'm pretty sure you're drunk-texting me. You want me to come pick you up?"
