by Trina Solet
Phillip's bedroom was decorated in gray and darker gray. The furniture was modern and a little stark, the lighting dim. It might look somber, the bed impeccably made, but it must have seen more action than Leon's bedroom ever did. That worried him.
"Are we fucking?" Leon asked too bluntly. He tried to hide his anxiety as his eyes glanced from the perfectly made bed to Phillip.
"Not tonight. We don't need to rush," he said, his voice low, his gaze hooded as it roamed Leon's body.
Phillip's answer was both a relief and a disappointment. Leon wanted him. For now he would settle for whatever Phillip had in mind – hopefully stripping him naked and sucking him off for all he was worth. Whatever happened between them tonight, Leon had to make sure not to lose it.
This was what he started by the elevator, when he dared Phillip to kiss him, but this was no sudden, hurried kiss. It was more real and more frightening. His crazy, impossible fantasy of Phillip was coming true. He was desperate for Phillip but not sure if he could handle what was about to happen.
Being alone with a man always felt like he was standing on a ledge. Here he was anyway, in Phillip's bedroom and in his arms, rushing ahead blindly, recklessly, trying to leave his fear in the dust. With the thickness of Phillip's cock so hard and real against his own erection, he was too turned on to think or to slow down. Hands shaking, fingers clumsy, he was only able to undress Phillip with a lot of his help.
He couldn't keep his hands from groping him everywhere. Before his clothes were off all the way, Leon was taking every opportunity to feel him. His shirt unbuttoned, pants open, Phillip was too beautiful, every muscle perfect under Leon's hands.
Pulling his shirt down his arms roughly, Leon nuzzled Phillip. He kissed his neck and his powerful shoulders. Phillip cupped his face. Leon closed his eyes and felt his earlobe between Phillip's lips then between his teeth. That drew a gasp from Leon. As Phillip licked the same spot, a soft moan escaped from him. Phillip clutched him closer then loosened his hold as he started to unbutton Leon's shirt.
His touch was light but sure, his fingers deft as he undressed Leon. The whole time Leon looked into his eyes, telling himself, "It's OK, it's Phillip." His caresses soothed Leon even as he was laid bare in front of him.
After a thorough kiss, Phillip looked him over with lust in his eyes. "Lie down," he ordered Leon.
Leon dropped back on the bed, grateful to have something to support him because his legs just wouldn't. Taking a deep breath, he watched in nervous excitement as Phillip kneeled on the bed and leaned over him. He only kissed Leon once on the mouth then ran his hands down his body to his ankles.
As Leon shuddered, Phillip kissed his way from his instep over his calf to his inner thigh. There he reversed direction and worked his way down Leon's other leg. Once he made his way back up to his hip, Phillip took a moment to tell him, "You're beautiful."
"Too skinny," Leon disagreed, panting.
"Perfect," Phillip said before stroking Leon's cock with his hand and giving the head a quick lick.
Leon writhed, his hips rising for more.
"Not yet," Phillip told him and he let go.
Leon groaned pitifully then gasped as Phillip took his right nipple between his teeth. While Phillip licked and nibbled, Leon ran his fingers through his hair and moaned his name. Every time Phillip's cock brushed against him or pressed into him hard as steel, Leon shivered with need and begged shamelessly.
After Phillip's mouth had been everywhere else and his tongue had licked every inch of his overheated skin, Leon finally got what he wanted. Phillip took him into his mouth with a long deep moan that reverberated through Leon's whole body. Phillip's mouth was hot and wet, so tight around his cock then pulling hard, making Leon choke back screams of pleasure that wanted to tear out of him.
Phillip's mouth was driving him out of his mind. He didn't know how he stayed quiet. It was bliss. His thighs in a hard grip, his cock in heaven, Leon rode wave after wave of incredible pleasure, always flying higher until it was too much. He couldn't hold back. He moaned Phillip's name and spilled down his throat.
Panting and dazed, he watched Phillip rise on his hands and knees and come to hover over him. His serious, gray eyes looked down at Leon spent and overjoyed under him. Leon grinned up at him like a fool and relished the intensity in his eyes.
Phillip leaned down to kiss him and Leon grabbed his chance to get on top. He flipped them over then kissed his way down Phillip's throat then over his chest. Leaving his hands over his nipples to pinch and torture them, Leon trailed his mouth lower and lower.
"I won't last," Phillip warned him. After he said that, he didn't come for an eternity of sucking that drove Leon wild.
Fear and ugly memories hovered in the background, but he pushed them back. Leon had Phillip's beautiful cock between his lips and the rest in the sliding grip of his right hand. He had never loved a cock so much or worshiped it as admiringly.
His own cock was in his other fist, harder than it had ever been as Leon lost himself to the act of pleasing his lover. Phillip was everything to him. Then ecstasy tightened their bodies and they were coming together with Phillip gasping his name and tangling his fingers in Leon's hair.
For a while they rested against each other, wordless and spent. Then Leon remembered what Phillip said, and he raised his head from his chest to question him.
"You call that not lasting?" Leon said while giving Phillip a wry look and enjoying the sight of his naked body under him.
"I usually last longer than that," Phillip said evenly.
"You'll have to show me sometime," Leon challenged him and felt Phillip's hands move over his back down to his ass.
"That was with other guys. With you, I don't know if I can. I have no self-control where you are concerned," Phillip told him, his voice hushed and deep in Leon's ear.
"You're not going to start kicking yourself for what we did," Leon said while giving him a look that warned him that he better not.
Phillip smiled at him and pulled him closer. "No. I've made peace with the fact that I'm a terrible boss."
"You're good at other stuff, so don't worry about it." Leon gave him a teasing look, but Phillip didn't react so he made himself clear. "I meant sucking cock."
"I got that," he said and gave Leon a teasing smile of his own.
Leon could watch him smile forever, but he still swooped in and kissed Phillip long and hard.
Too soon after that, they were both dressed and slowly making their way to the bedroom door.
"I wish you could stay," Phillip said, echoing what Leon was feeling. He knew it was too soon for that.
As they nuzzled and kissed their way to the front door of the apartment, Phillip stopped. He held Leon's hand and said, "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over again one of these days."
"Mind?"
"It's for a specific reason. I have some old videos of Tony. I wanted to show them to Ant before, but I wasn't sure I could watch them and not fall apart. That's why I need you. With you here, I think I can hold it together."
Leon agreed easily. "Sure I'll be here."
"Thank you. I feel bad keeping the videos from Ant. That's like keeping the son and the father apart. I want him to know Tony."
"I can bring snacks," Leon offered. "Unless you want this to be a more solemn occasion."
"They are videos of Tony, so it's definitely not a solemn occasion," Phillip said with a smile. "By all means bring snacks. I want this to be a happy memory for Ant and not one of me bawling my eyes out."
"If it looks like you're going to lose it, I'll make sure to distract Ant," Leon promised.
"Thank you."
"Or maybe I'll distract you," Leon said and he kissed him. Letting his tongue explore his mouth, he was already dreaming of the next time they would be alone.
Chapter 27
Phillip had never wanted anyone to stay like he did tonight. Watching Leon leave was agony. His eyes were like sunlight in the morning. Hi
s voice was full of warmth and humor. As he lay in bed, Phillip wished he could hear it right now. He reached for the phone then stopped himself.
Leon was probably in bed by now. He couldn't call him in the middle of the night and wake him. He had work tomorrow. Phillip sighed. Things with Leon were so confusing right now. He didn't know where the boundary lay. Leon was in his life, but he was still his assistant.
He was also the man who was stretched out on Phillip's bed a little while ago, the dark gray covers a contrast to his skin. His long limbs and slim body were all Phillip's and he took full advantage, touching him everywhere, swallowing him down.
Haunted by Leon's sweet and salty kisses and the heat of his body, Phillip tossed and turned, sweated through his sheets and called out Leon's name into the endless night.
Tired but elated, Phillip was looking forward to seeing Leon as he headed to work. That's why he steeled himself for coming face to face with him again. If he didn't, he might just drag him from behind his desk so he could do unspeakable things to him.
Phillip could just see the two of them rolling around on the office rug, their clothes flying every which way. That couldn't happen. Nothing could happen between them while they were at work.
Working with Leon was going to be very different now, definitely more challenging. Whatever the challenges, Phillip was determined to overcome them and keep himself firmly under control. At work, Phillip's eyes would not be undressing Leon. He would not be imagining him bent over his desk, moaning as Phillip plowed into him.
Aside from that kind of inexcusable lechery, he also didn't want Leon to feel pressured into a serious relationship too quickly. Phillip was monopolizing a lot of his time already, and Leon was so young. Phillip couldn't imagine that he would want to commit too soon. No matter how much he looked forward to being with him again, he wanted to respect Leon's boundaries and not be intrusive or, God forbid, clingy.
On the night Phillip picked for watching the home movies, Leon arrived after dinner. He was loaded down with goodies and dressed casually in a checkered shirt over a t-shirt and jeans. He looked incredibly young and fresh as Phillip greeted him with a kiss. Ant was right there so the kiss was quick and not too deep.
Preoccupied with what Leon brought, Ant wasn't paying any attention to them though. The red bucket Leon was carrying had him curious.
"This is our popcorn bucket," Leon told him.
Seeing that it was empty, Ant wasn't too impressed. He looked up from the empty, red bucket to Leon.
"It's empty now but it will be full later," Leon promised him then he went to the kitchen to unpack the salty and sweet snacks he got.
Ant's eyes were big as he craned his neck to see everything while Leon told him what was on the menu.
"We have caramel popcorn with peanuts, popcorn balls, and of course chocolate covered popcorn." Holding up a bag, he said, "We'll pop this batch fresh and put butter on it."
Ant looked kind of overwhelmed. "I love popcorn!" he said suddenly.
"Good to know since we're buried in it," Phillip said.
They took the snacks to the living room where Phillip had the videos set up and ready to play. He told Leon and Ant about them. "These are some videos of Tony doing magic. When he was in elementary school, Tony fell in love with learning magic tricks. It held his attention for most of a year. Our parents were his captive audience. I was his unwilling assistant." Phillip remembered being roped into participating with threats and bribes, and finally with the only thing that worked – a guilt trip.
"Did he cut you in half?" Leon asked.
"He tried." As Phillip said this, Ant looked at him to make sure he was in one piece.
They all sat down together on the sofa. Ant was between them, but Leon reached over and squeezed Phillip's shoulder. Turning to him, Phillip saw his beautiful, understanding eyes and reassuring smile. Keeping Leon's steadying presence firmly in his mind, Phillip prepared himself for a dive into the past. It would be OK as long as Leon was there to keep him from drowning.
*
Leon came over to Phillip's ready and glad to be of help. On the face of it, it was a fun time. The coffee table was loaded down with every kind of popcorn Leon could get his hands on. Ant was kicking his feet excitedly as they dangled over the edge of the sofa, and Phillip seemed only a little shaky as he started the video.
Still, Leon planned to be watchful in case Phillip needed rescuing. For now he turned his eyes to the TV. On the screen, a curly haired boy, only a few years older than Ant, introduced himself as "Tony, the Master of Magic, Morton!" He introduced the preteen Phillip as his lowly assistant. The thinner, younger version of Phillip wore a put-upon look on his face. Seeing him so innocent and unprepared, Leon hated to think of all the suffering that was in store for him, for both of those boys.
After Phillip was forced to take a bow, there was a round of applause then Tony performed some magic. He made various things disappear mostly by throwing them behind his back or dropping them then kicking them under the couch. He also made Phillip disappear. That involved Phillip ducking and hiding behind the couch while Tony practiced some misdirection, and their mother yelled to mind the lamp when it almost got knocked over.
Ant was on the edge of his seat, watching intently. Leon wasn't sure if he knew what was supposed to happen. He did join in and clapped along with Phillip's parents after each trick.
"That's your grandma and grandpa," Phillip told him.
Ant watched them with wonder. He raised his hand halfway like he wanted to wave at them. "Can we go visit them like we visit Gran-gran and Bernie?"
"No. Grandma and Grandpa are gone just like your mom and dad," Phillip told him in a tight voice.
"Oh, no," Ant said and looked at Phillip sadly.
Phillip hugged him then drew his attention to the TV screen. It was time for Tony to juggle some apples.
"He's throwing apples," Ant said as the apples flew into the air.
"He's juggling apples," Phillip corrected him just as Tony dropped one. Then another one slipped from his hand and hit his lowly assistant. "OK, now he's throwing them."
"He messed up! He messed up!" And said excitedly and laughed. Then he turned to Phillip and said, "It's funny when he messes up."
"Sure it is."
"That's my dad. He's funny," Ant said to Leon.
Leon hugged him then told him, "Go on and give your Uncle Phillip another hug."
Phillip hugged Ant and kissed his hair.
"He would have loved you," Phillip said and smiled at Ant sadly.
Leon looked at the TV. Phillip's brother was still goofing around with the apples. His mom was laughing. His dad was telling Phillip to duck. His whole family was there, and all of them were gone now.
Watching the images of Phillip's smiling parents and his little brother, Leon tried to imagine growing up like that, surrounded by love. Then he thought about how terrible it must be to lose a family like that.
He looked over at Phillip and their eyes met. Phillip blinked back tears but he held the pain in check. Leon could see the effort it took, but Phillip did it for Ant's sake. He would do anything to keep Ant happy and to give him the kind of life he once had, in the heart of a close and loving family.
"Let's get apples," Ant said, inspired by the mayhem he saw on the screen.
"I'm betting he doesn't mean for eating," Leon guessed. Seeing that the video was over and that Phillip wasn't up to seeing any more, Leon grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Now let's do a magic trick and make this popcorn disappear."
Chapter 28
After Ant was in bed, Leon helped Phillip hunt down all the stray popcorn. Somehow Phillip even ended up with a piece of popcorn in his shirt collar. After fishing it out, Leon threw it in the air and caught it in his mouth.
"That's probably how it ended up there in the first place," Phillip said.
Ant had tried that trick, and also juggling popcorn, but he was better at catching it in his curly hair and Leon's too.
Now he and Phillip were left to clean up.
Leon wasn't sure how late he was supposed to stay so he watched for a hint from Phillip. He didn't seem in a rush to show him the door. Occasionally, he caught a look from Phillip that had a hint of come hither. Or maybe that was just in Leon's imagination. Then he noticed a different expression wash over Phillip's face as he stared off at nothing.
"It kills me that Ant will never know Tony, how crazy he was, how much fun. And he won't get to know his grandparents either." Philip barely got the words out. He sat down on the sofa heavily, and Leon sat down next to him and took hold of his hand. Phillip's fingers entwined with his. "That hits me over and over again. And it always will, I think. As Ant grows up, every milestone will bring back the same pain."
"He has you. And you are a good uncle and a good brother. At the very least, Ant will get to know his dad through you and his grandparents too," Leon told him.
"I'll do my best," Phillip said and squeezed his hand. They shared a close, quiet moment until Phillip suddenly pulled Leon into a tight embrace. "Thank you," he said with an impassioned whisper in his ear.
Leon didn't say anything, he just sighed against Phillip's shoulder. Slowly, Leon turned his face to Phillip, inviting a kiss if he was up for that. Taking the invitation, Phillip gripped him harder and kissed him so deeply and for so long that Leon didn't think he would ever recover.
The kiss tore through him as his heart thundered. He could stay in this moment forever with that kiss stealing every breath and every thought from him. He had never met a man who turned him on like this or who made him want to spend forever in his arms.
As Leon's hands clawed Phillip's body, wanting to rip through his clothes, he forgot to hang on. They overbalanced and fell to the floor. That didn't even slow them down. Leon landed on top of Phillip but didn't stay there for long. Phillip rolled them over and pressed Leon into the floor with a hard kiss. He pinned Leon's hands over his head and kissed his neck.
