by L M Krier
'Fair play to you, bonny lass,' he said, handing a ten pound note to Jezza. 'You really had me fooled on Friday. You said I wouldn't recognise you and I certainly didn't. You're not Angela, are you?' he added with a laugh.
Jezza took the note, folded it and tucked it into her jacket pocket.
'If I brought in a cake I'd made, would you dare to eat it?' she quipped in reply.
To everyone's surprise, Steve piped up, 'Someone get a picture of that on their phone. Maurice, with his wallet open.'
It was the first time anyone had heard him make a joke.
'Right, settle down,' Ted said good naturedly, then briefly outlined the sequence of events on Saturday. He noticed Jezza squirm a little awkwardly in her seat when she heard that the boss himself had had to leave a wedding to come in to cover for her.
'I phoned the hospital first thing. The good news to start the day is that Mr McAlpine is continuing to make a good recovery. He's out of all danger and is back on the ward. I'm waiting on the tox results for the cake which was in his drawer, but this has all the hallmarks of yet another plant poisoning.
'What we don't know at this stage is why he didn't eat all the cake, although that's undoubtedly what saved his life. Or why he was targeted. First port of call needs to be the home where he usually lives,' he checked his notebook and added, 'Apple Orchard Court. Mike, I'll do that one myself.
'I also want to widen the net for people other than relatives who may visit elderly residents in care homes. I still think we're missing something obvious. Accountants, lawyers, but who else? Jezza? Any suggestions? Who have you seen coming and going at Cottage Row?'
'Hairdresser, aromatherapist, chiropodist, for starters,' she said. 'I'll get some names this afternoon when I go in, and ask who else visits.'
'Right, good. Now, the hospital told me that Mandy Griffiths was let go because of concerns over her attitude, so let's dig a little deeper into her background. Even if we can't pin any murders on her, can we at least charge her with something? I'd like a result of some sort. And what about Katya, at Snowdon Lodge? Anything further on her?' Ted asked.
'Comes up squeaky clean on all counts, boss,' Mike told him. 'Alibis for all the deaths. An impressive CV, excellent references, which appear genuine. If she is resentful of having to wipe bums instead of doing real nursing, she doesn't appear to be showing her resentment by bumping off old folk.'
'Another thing,' Ted said. 'Is there something wrong with Honest John? We haven't heard anything from him this time, even after the press coverage. Whose turn is it to check?'
There was a general groan from the older team members. Jezza just looked puzzled. Honest John was their local confessor. Almost every time there was a murder on the patch, he would phone up to confess, punctuating every sentence with, 'Honest, it was me.'
In reality, he was a desperately lonely and clinically obese depressive, who lived in a block of flats. He could never go out, because of his medical condition, so his confessions were a way of obtaining the attention he so desperately craved. Most officers would have ignored him. Ted had a caring side and liked to send someone round for ten minutes from time to time, just to check he was still alive.
'Put someone on it, Mike, please. Even if you have to draw lots. Just a five minute call. It's not like him not to have phoned us. Make sure he's all right.'
Ted's mobile phone rang. When he saw the caller identification, he said hastily, 'I have to take this. Mike, can you carry on, please?'
He accepted the call as he made his way to his office.
'Good morning, Inspector Darling, this is Douglas Campbell, Mr Armstrong's cardio-thoracic consultant. I have your number down to call to make the next appointment. I thought I'd better do it myself, rather than leave it to my secretary. Bizzie Nelson would never forgive me if I gave you anything less than first-class treatment,' he said jovially.
'Now, I have the final results I was waiting for. Would it be possible for you and Mr Armstrong to come in later today, say at about five o'clock, to go through them?'
Ted acquiesced, then asked anxiously, 'Can you give me any indication now?'
The consultant's tone was apologetically professional. 'I think that you know already that I cannot, Inspector. All I can say to you is please try not to worry. I know it's hard, but it truly never does any good.'
When he rang off, Ted phoned Trev at work and arranged to pick him up later to go with him to find out the results. He tried to sound matter-of-fact and reassuring but he could tell from Trev's voice that he was worried sick. They both were.
Mike had finished allocating tasks for the day when Ted went back into the main office. Ted suspected it was a touch of malice on his part that he had put Jezza down to call on Honest John on her way to Cottage Row.
Ted asked Jezza to join him in his office. He had deliberately moved the spare chair so she would have to stand. He was not making a point. He just preferred it when she was not slouching while he spoke to her.
'So, Jezza,' he began. 'Saturday. You didn't let anyone know you were unable to come in. You know that's a requirement.'
'Couldn't,' she said shortly. 'I was too busy talking to God on the big white phone.' Seeing his look, she corrected herself. 'Projectile vomiting.'
'Is there no one else who could have at least let Sal know what was happening?'
'No,' she said shortly, without even bothering with formality. It was borderline insolence, yet again.
'And this was definitely illness?' Ted asked.
'What, you mean because I was bladdered the first time we met, you assume it's a regular occurrence? Your boyfriend was ill, no one queries that. I was ill so it must be skiving?' she left a long enough pause for it to be insubordinate, before adding sarcastically, 'Sir.'
Ted leaned back in his chair and looked up at her.
'DC Vine, you are treading very close to the line,' he said quietly. 'There is a procedure to follow in the event of absence and you didn't follow it. That's potentially a disciplinary matter. And for the record, Trevor is my partner, not my boyfriend. Please remember that in future.'
He held her gaze. To her credit, she neither flinched nor looked away. Although it was more of an aggressive glare in her case.
'I sent a text as soon I was able to. I don't know what else I could have done,' she replied defiantly. Another long pause, then another, 'Sir.'
Ted considered her for a moment longer, then sighed.
'Very well. There will be no further action this time. Just please try, next time, to make contact somehow, rather than leave a team member in the lurch. Right, go and get on with whatever DS Hallam has assigned you to.'
This time he did add, 'And don't slam the door.'
Not that it did any good.
Ted guessed from her file that countless senior officers before him had tried storming after her, shouting the odds. It had clearly not worked. He decided to save himself the effort. For now.
He wondered, as he had several times since her arrival, if Jezza was some sort of punishment by the Ice Queen for a misdemeanour he could not remember committing. Despite her attitude, he still felt there was something about Jezza which made her worth persevering with. She had certainly fooled all of them in the pub on Friday. She clearly had the makings of a brilliant undercover officer.
Ted was in need of something to occupy his mind, to stop him worrying about the forthcoming meeting with the consultant. He knew he should go and mention his early departure to the Ice Queen, as a courtesy, but he didn't feel much like seeing her yet. He still had nothing tangible to offer her by way of progress.
He decided to try making contact with the hospital, to follow up on patient complaints after relatives' deaths. The team had not yet had the time to fully pursue that angle. That, and having Jezza in one of the homes, remained the best, though still slim, chance of finding Angela, if she existed. Or it might throw up someone else with a grudge.
After being passed from pillar to post on the phone, h
e managed to get through to an administration manager, who met him with the usual blanket refusal on the grounds of confidentiality. Even Ted's patience was wearing thin by now.
'Look, I could get a warrant but it really would be so much more helpful if I could just come along later today and talk to someone who might be able to help,' he said. 'After all, one of the deaths I'm investigating happened in your hospital, and there was an apparent attempt on another patient at the weekend.'
Grudgingly, the woman agreed to talk to the CEO and gave Ted an appointment for later that day. At least Ted could now go to see the Ice Queen with a faint glimmer of a lead to hold in front of him like body armour. He also mentioned the appointment and his need to leave early that afternoon to go with Trev.
'So your new relationship with the local paper is paying off?' she asked. 'You said the reporter had pointed you in a helpful direction regarding time-scales?'
Ted shook his head. 'I wouldn't say that exactly, ma'am. But at least there may be the chance of a lead or two to follow up from today's meeting with the hospital administrator.'
'Keep me up to speed at all times. The Chief Constable is still phoning me frequently for news. It would be good to have something, no matter how insignificant, to tell him,' she said.
'He must surely realise how difficult it is to catch a random killer?'
'I'm sure he does. By the same token, we mustn't forget he is under considerable pressure himself for results,' she said, and added, 'I do hope all goes well for your partner this afternoon. You must be worried. I would appreciate knowing the outcome of that meeting, too.'
That was an understatement, but Ted tried to stay professionally detached when he went to meet the hospital administrator.
She was frostily efficient and made it clear that she was going against her better judgement in giving him any information at all. She did give him details of any deaths where a formal complaint had been made. But, apart from confirming that there had been other incidents with nothing more than a verbal complaint, she refused to give him anything further on those.
She also told him that there was an official enquiry under way to find out how a patient had apparently again been poisoned on one of the hospital wards, with no one knowing anything about how it had happened. She promised to keep him informed of the results of that enquiry. In response to his question, she told him that there was no CCTV on the ward.
It was a start, and it would have to do for now. He thanked her politely for her help and took his leave.
He was in plenty of time to pick Trev up and take him for his appointment. Once again, Trev was fidgeting and prowling the corridor outside the consultant's office, especially as he was running slightly late.
Eventually, he opened his door and showed someone out, pausing to shake their hand. Then he turned his attention to Trev. With his detective's training, Ted was doing his best to read the body language, dreading the prospect of bad news, hoping he would be strong enough to support Trev if it was.
'I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Armstrong, Inspector Darling,' he said. 'Do please come in and take a seat.'
It seemed to take him an eternity to walk past them to his own chair and sit down. He had Trev's medical file in front of him. He opened it and scanned it, clearly familiarising himself with the details.
Trev reached across wordlessly and took hold of Ted's hand, gripping it so tightly that Ted was sure he could feel the circulation being cut off. His own mouth was so dry he could barely swallow. Whatever the news was, he just wanted to know it, as soon as possible.
The consultant looked directly at Trev. Only then did he smile.
'Mr Armstrong, I'm so pleased to be able to tell you that your results have come back clear. All of your results,' he said. 'There is no reason at all why you should not live a long and healthy life, based on the condition of your heart. Especially if you continue to take such good care of yourself, as you clearly do.
'I am truly delighted for you, and heartily relieved for myself. I think I may well have become your next murder victim, Inspector Darling, if I had not been able to give good news to someone Bizzie clearly holds in such affection and high esteem.'
Trev was still gripping onto Ted's hand as if his life depended on it. Ted could see that his eyes were sparkling with tears of relief. He was clearly so emotional that he couldn't speak.
'Thank you so much,' Ted said, finally finding his own voice. 'It's a huge weight off both our minds.'
'You're very welcome,' the consultant said, standing up to usher them to the door. 'It makes such a pleasant change for me to be able to deliver good news.'
Trev finally let go of Ted's hand as they both stood up to leave. The consultant held out his hand, which Ted shook warmly. Trev started to do the same then, to the man's surprise, engulfed him in one of his famous hugs.
'Sorry,' he said. 'I know not everyone's into man hugs, but it's such bloody marvellous news.'
The consultant looked a little taken aback, but not too nonplussed. In fact, he smiled indulgently and said, 'Well, I think that is probably the most effusive thanks I have ever received.'
Trev was practically bouncing like Tigger on the way back to the car. Ted found he could not stop grinning with delight.
'Let's go out for a meal tonight, to celebrate,' he suggested. 'If your stomach's feeling up to it?'
'Love to!' Trev beamed. 'I am so hungry I could suddenly eat a scabby donkey. I'm going to ask Bizzie out at the weekend, if you don't mind, to thank her properly. She's always wanted to go to the Lake District and has never been. I said I'd take her on the bike one day. Why don't you take your mother out somewhere nice, too?'
'She might be working,' Ted said evasively.
'And she might not,' Trev replied. 'Carpe diem, Ted. That's my new motto. Go for it!'
Trev went bounding upstairs for a shower when they got in, singing tunelessly at the top of his voice. It may have been a Queen number but it was unrecognisable with what he did to it. Ted marvelled, as he always did, that someone with such a good ear for languages could be so totally tone deaf.
Ted went out of the kitchen door into the back garden, where he would not be overheard. He got out his mobile and took a card from his wallet, dialling the number on it. It was answered on the second ring.
'Lady Armstrong? This is Ted Darling, Trev's partner.'
'Yes?' the cold voice asked.
'I wanted to tell you that all the results have come back clear. Trev has not inherited any heart disease.'
'Thank you for informing me. Was there anything else?'
Ted waited until he was sure he had control of his voice before he replied formally, 'No, ma'am. There is absolutely nothing else to say.'
Chapter Thirty-three
The following morning, Ted decided to visit Apple Orchard Court, home of John McAlpine, and to take Jezza with him. It would give him a chance to perhaps get to know her a bit better, and also to see her at work, if he let her lead the questioning.
The elderly resident from the home was doing remarkably well in hospital, having made a strong recovery from a suspected poisoning. They were still waiting for tox results but it certainly seemed the likely cause, especially with the cake in his drawer, which had not come from the hospital.
As Ted and Jezza got to his trusty old Renault in the car park, she said ironically, 'Nice wheels, boss. Retro shabby chic is all the rage at the moment.'
Ted could not help smiling. She certainly had some bottle and did not appear to be in the least bit intimidated by him. Nor, judging by her track record, by any of the other senior officers she had served under, some of them very briefly.
'I'd like you to do most of the questioning,' he told her. 'I'll just chip in if I think you may have overlooked something. We're looking for anything and everything which may link Mr McAlpine to any of the other victims, homes, carers or visitors.'
She looked as if she was about to say something, then she clearly thought better of
it. Ted would have put money on it being something like, 'No shit, Sherlock.' It was progress, to a degree, that she had resisted the temptation.
'How did you get on with Honest John?' Ted asked, by way of conversation.
Jezza rolled her eyes expressively. Ted noticed that she still had dark circles under them and looked as if a good night's sleep would not do her any harm.
'Is that the office initiation test, for the newest team member?' she asked. 'You know, like sending someone out for a left-handed screwdriver, or a skirting board ladder? I mean, why do we even bother with him? He's clearly just a time-waster.'
'He's a lonely human being, with nothing else in his life but confessing to crimes he didn't commit,' Ted told her mildly. 'I know we're busy, but if someone just takes ten minutes once in a while to go and see him, he's as happy as Larry for months. It's a small kindness. Good PR, showing the caring side of coppers.
'How was he, anyway? Strange he's not been in touch.'
'His phone's out of order,' she told him.
'I'll get on to his social worker when I get back to the office. Can't have him all alone with no means of contacting the outside world.'
Apple Orchard Court turned out to be similar in appearance to Snowdon Lodge, with its functional modern lines and total lack of character. The sign at the gate showed that it was, in fact, owned by the same group, Carlington Healthcare Ltd.
'Hope I never finish up in a place like this,' Jezza said, getting out of the Renault and looking around. 'Factory farming for the elderly. I'd sooner put my head in the oven, if I could afford the gas.'
She was struggling to close the passenger door, which had a mind of its own. Ted came round and shut it for her.
'There's a knack to it,' he said.
'How quaint.'
'What do you drive?' he asked.
She shrugged dismissively. 'A Golf.'
Ted nodded his comprehension.
'This can't compete with German engineering. But the seats are comfortable.'
