by S. J. West
“The chip,” she said to us, drawing a little black square dead center inside the brain, “is sitting on something called the corpus callosum. This part of the brain is composed of a flat bundle of neural fibers and connects the left and right cerebral hemispheres that facilitate communication between the two sides. It contains over two hundred million axonal projections. If we take the chip out and cause damage to the corpus callosum, it might not kill you directly, but it could leave you in a vegetative state, which is just as bad as death if you ask me.”
“But I can heal myself,” I said, desperate to find a loophole. “Maybe I can heal any damage that’s done while it’s happening and minimize the side effects.”
“The side effects bring a host of problems of their own,” Doc Riley told us, not looking at all optimistic.
“Like what?” Jace asked. “Besides the possibility of her becoming a vegetable.”
“Well, you could lose your hand-eye coordination, develop a repetitive speech pattern, have severe headaches, vision impairment, and …” Doc Riley looked at us both as if she were reluctant to say the next possibility, “seizures. The seizures could range anywhere from mild to severe. There’s simply no way of being able to predict. It will all depend on how much damage is done.”
I took hold of Jace’s hand and looked up at him by my side.
“I have to try,” I told him. “I can probably heal most of the damage, but if something happens that we can’t foresee, you’ll end up having to live with the consequences too.”
“You won’t become a vegetable,” he said with confidence. “And you’ll retain your hand-eye coordination. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to run in that field of wheat chasing after Rose and Simon. I can deal with the other possibilities as long as you can because in the end it’s you who will have to suffer through them, not me. I will always be by your side, no matter what happens.”
I squeezed his hand and felt myself on the verge of tears again as I wondered how I got so lucky to have a man like Jace fully support my decisions.
I looked back at Doc Riley.
“If this surgeon thinks he can figure out a way to take it out without killing me, I want to try.”
“There will be no trying, child,” Doc Riley said. “There is no going back once the procedure is started. It’s all or nothing.”
“When we return from rescuing Simon, I want to do it. I assume I’ll lose all of my Harvester abilities afterwards?”
“Yes, you’ll lose your super strength and agility plus the other things like sensitive hearing and eyesight. All of those advantages will be lost.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “I can live with that. But not until we have Simon back. So, talk to this surgeon and start to prepare things while we’re gone.”
“As you wish,” Doc Riley said, accepting my decision but obviously not liking it.
I could tell by the way Doc Riley was looking at me that she wanted to tell me something else.
“What is it?” I asked her. “What else do you need to say?”
“I think I may have figured out how you were able to regain your humanity.”
“How?” I asked, daring to hope Doc Riley was about to answer a question I had been asking myself since Hope’s death.
“It actually dawned on me once I learned the exact position of the chip,” she told us, drawing a little circle underneath the corpus callosum.
“What is that supposed to be?”
“It’s where the pituitary gland is situated. One of its many functions is the release of oxytocin.”
“The chemical responsible for feeling love?” I asked.
Doc Riley nodded. “From what you told me of your experience after becoming a Harvester, I believe your love for the people around you, like Zoe and Ash, started the initial production of oxytocin in your system. That’s why you helped them escape. And when Hope died and shared her love with you, it was like receiving an overdose of the chemical. Somehow that major release of oxytocin did something to the chip which helped you regain most of your humanity.”
“Can we use that?” I asked, becoming excited. “Could we simply overload Harvesters’ systems with oxytocin and give them back their humanity?”
“Unfortunately, you can’t administer oxytocin intravenously. It can’t pass through the blood-brain barrier. Even if it had a chance of working, we don’t have the infrastructure to produce large quantities of the chemical.”
“So that’s what happened to Jace’s father too?” I asked. “His love for Jace overrode the programming to love the Queen and no one else?”
“Yes,” Doc Riley said. “That’s what I would have to assume.”
So, love actually could change the world. Imagine that.
“What if I get mad?” I asked her. “Do I have to maintain a certain amount of oxytocin in my system to stay the way I am now? She tried to break me, Doc Riley. She made me torture Jace and Simon. …”
“Skye. …” Jace began.
“No,” I said to him. “I have to know. I need to know how vulnerable I am to her influence.” I turned my attention back to Doc Riley. “If she made me mad enough, hate her enough, is it possible I could turn back into a true Harvester?”
Doc Riley sighed. “I suppose it’s possible, but I can’t tell you for sure, child. I don’t have enough information to make an informed hypothesis. I don’t exactly know how the oxytocin is working to disable that part of the programming.”
“But it’s possible?” I pressed.
“Anything is possible.”
I closed my eyes and nodded my head. Just as I thought. I was still in danger of becoming a monster again.
I opened my eyes. “As soon as we come back with Simon, I want the operation. I don’t care what it does to me. I can’t live with this fear that she’ll change me back into that thing again.”
I expected the two of them to argue, but they didn’t. I got the feeling they understood my mind was made up and no amount of arguing would change it.
“All right, child,” Doc Riley said. “I will have things prepared to perform the surgery when you return.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I said. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, Jace and I need to talk.”
“Of course. It’s getting late. You should get some sleep for tomorrow.”
Jace and I walked out of the laboratory and found Kirk, Teegan, and Kale in the living room. Teegan was holding Rose, who seemed to be content in her arms.
“We may have found someone who can handle your daughter,” Kirk said to me, relief in his voice. “If Lux hadn’t been so adamant about holding Rose herself, we might have figured this out a lot sooner!”
“Good,” I said. “Because as soon as the scout comes back, you guys will be in charge of keeping her safe and happy. You might as well get used to being called Uncle Kirk and Aunt Teegan by them by the way. Apparently, you play an important role in their lives in the future.”
“Skye,” Kale said, “where’s Ash? I thought he would be here with you.”
I explained to Kale why Ash wasn’t with us.
“That woman is seriously screwed up,” Kale said with a shake of his head. “Completely off her damn rocker.”
“Yeah,” I said, “you’re preaching to the choir on that point.”
“So, the plan is for you to kill her?” Kirk asked.
I nodded.
“Can you do that?” he asked. “Saying you’re going to kill someone and actually doing it are two totally different things.”
“You sound like Ian,” I said. “Where are he and Lux at anyway?”
Kale snickered with a roll of his eyes. “Upstairs in one of the rooms.”
It took me a few seconds to understand what Kale was actually telling me.
“They’re having sex?” I asked in astonishment.
Kale blushed. “Well, it’s either that, or they’re jumping on the bed. Take your pick.”
I’m not sure why I was surprised by this news, but I was. They were two
consenting adults after all. I wasn’t exactly in a position to place judgment on their behavior.
“Well, I guess the rest of you are welcome to find rooms of your own in the house.” I walked over and took Rose from Teegan. “Jace and I will be at my house.”
“Your house?” Jace asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I had a house here. I would rather not stay in the same home our fathers are. Things are awkward enough around them.”
I looked back at my friends. “Help yourselves to anything you want here. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
As we drove through town, I instructed Jace on where to go. When we entered the home I used when I was Harvester, I half expected Grace, the Queen’s old nanny, to be inside. I knew that wasn’t possible since the Queen had stabbed her longtime companion with a butter knife through the heart to prove a point to me. It had been the first time I saw a soul depart from someone.
We found some food in the kitchen and made a quick meal. After I gave Rose some warm milk, Jace found a large clothes basket and made a pallet out of towels and sheets in it to act as a portable crib. While I took a shower, Jace rocked Rose to sleep in the bedroom.
When I came back into the bedroom with only a towel wrapped around my body, Jace was laying a slumbering Rose in the makeshift crib. He turned to face me, and I dropped the towel.
“I guess I’m not going to have time to take a bath,” Jace said, a knowing smile on his face as I walked up to him.
“No,” I said, smiling back at him.
“You sure do know how to make it hard on a guy.”
I couldn’t prevent a laugh as I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a hand at the back of his head but not having to do much to lower his lips next to mine.
“I certainly hope so,” I said before kissing him, leaving no doubt about what it was I wanted.
Afterward, I lay with my head resting on Jace’s chest, absently gliding a hand up and down the peaks and valleys of the well-defined muscles of his torso.
“What are you thinking about?” Jace asked, smoothing my hair away from the side of my face so he could see me better.
“I’m actually trying not to think too much,” I told him. “If I do, I might start to cry.”
Jace tightened his arms around me as if the action could take all of my worries away.
“I wish I could end this nightmare for you,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.
“I don’t think it will be too much longer before it’s over.”
Jace placed a hand underneath my chin to make me look up at him.
“What makes you say that?” he asked with that look of worry in his eyes again.
I sighed. “It’s just a feeling I have. I can’t explain it. I just know.”
“Then good,” he said. “The sooner we finish this, the better. I’m ready to start our lives. I’m ready for us to be a real family. It’s something I’ve never had, and it’s something I desperately want with you.”
His words brought back my earlier thoughts when I was with Zoe’s mother on her boat. The fact that I couldn’t provide Jace with a child of his own caused me to burst into tears.
“Skye,” Jace said, tightening his arms around me as I cried against his chest. “Why are you crying?”
I shook my head as I continued to mourn the loss of not being able to give Jace a child.
“I can’t give you a real family,” I said through my tears. “I can’t give you a baby.”
Jace rubbed one hand up and down my exposed arm.
“Please, Skye, don’t cry because of what she did to you. We have two beautiful children. I don’t need any more than that,” Jace said in a soothing voice. “I just hate that she took that experience away from you. All I need is you, Rose, and Simon to feel complete. You three have become my whole world, my reason for existing.”
I forced myself to look at Jace. He raised a hand and wiped away my tears with the tips of his fingers.
“But don’t you feel cheated?” I asked. “I know I do.”
“Honestly?” Jace said. “No, I don’t feel cheated. I feel like the luckiest man in the world. I have a beautiful, smart, brave woman who loves me. I have two gorgeous and gifted children. Why would I need anything else? What more could I possibly want? I have everything.”
I leaned up and kissed Jace on the lips. The kiss was salty from my tears, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to know just how much I loved him, how much he meant to me.
“I love you,” I breathed against his lips. “I will always love you.”
I looked into his eyes and didn’t see worry this time, only true happiness.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The next morning I awoke to find myself alone in bed. I quickly sat up and used my enhanced hearing to listen to the noises within the house. I heard the rattle of pans and clang of utensils come from the first floor mixed with the happy gurgles of Rose.
“We’re going to make mommy breakfast in bed. Aren’t we, Rosey?”
Rose giggled like she was all for the idea.
I lay back down, hugging my pillow to my chest and couldn’t prevent a contented smile from spreading my lips.
Only Jace would think to make me breakfast in bed. A small way to spoil me, I supposed. Something, I suddenly realized, I had never had anyone do for me before now. I didn’t want to ruin Jace’s surprise, so I closed my eyes and listened as he moved around in the kitchen below me.
While he cooked, he told Rose all about her future.
“When the big bad queen is dead,” he said in a singsong voice, like he was telling Rose a fairy tale, “you, Simon, me, and mommy will all live in a little house together and have breakfast with one another every morning. And at bedtime, mommy and I will tuck you and your brother in your beds all safe and sound and kiss you both good night so you have sweet dreams while you sleep. I’m going to make sure wherever we live has a large field of wheat beside it so your mommy can chase you through it. You’ll have plenty to eat, and we’ll always love you. But there will come a day when you need to leave us, and I’ll try to not be sad about it because I know what you have to do is important. I will give you the best life I can before that day comes though, Rosey. I promise.”
I wiped tears from the corners of my eyes as I fully realized Jace was right. We would lose Rose and Simon one day in the future. I would be the person who sends them back to particular time points to help us. They would choose to sacrifice their lives as they knew them in order to give the world a chance at a fresh start. I made my own private promise to Rose that I would become the woman she brought to me when I was in this very same room only a few months before. I would be someone she instantly called her mother.
I heard a car pull up into the driveway and park in front of the house. With a sigh of disappointment, I knew there would be no time for breakfast in bed. We had work to do.
While I was getting dressed, I eavesdropped when Jace answered the door.
“Good morning, Paul,” Jace said.
“Morning. The scout’s returned from the Queen’s compound,” I heard Paul tell Jace. “Your fathers sent me over to ask that you both come over to discuss the intel she brought back.”
“Okay, we’ll be right over,” Jace replied, a note of disappointment in his voice.
I smiled slightly because I knew why he sounded that way. His surprise of serving me breakfast in bed was ruined now, and there was no telling when he would have the opportunity to do it again. I hoped it would be someday soon. I desperately wanted the normal life Jace had promised Rose we would have. To be afforded the opportunity to live like a real family was both of our dreams, not just his. A normal life was all I had ever wanted.
I was slipping on my tennis shoes when Jace walked up the stairs and into the bedroom with Rose against his hip and in the crook of his arm. They both smiled at me when they came in, making my heart soar but even that happiness wasn’t complete.
A small voice inside my head questioned whether or not I w
ould always be able to feel this close to them. What if the Queen did something which made me lose my ability to love? I forced the thought back into the recesses of my mind. I wouldn’t let it happen. I needed Jace and the kids like I needed air to breathe. Without being able to love them, I felt sure I would find a way to just end my life because what would be the point of living anymore? But I had hope it wouldn’t come to that. According to everything I’d been allowed to see of the future, I would end up earning the happy life we all wanted. The one we all deserved to have.
“I take it you heard what Paul said?” Jace asked, coming to stand by me while I sat on the bed tying my last lace.
“Yes,” I said, sitting up and holding my arms out to take Rose so Jace could change out of his sweatpants and t-shirt.
Rose gurgled her happiness as I sat her on my lap. I looked into her bluer than blue eyes and saw faint traces of Zoe in her smile. I leaned down and kissed one of her chubby little cheeks, breathing in her clean sweet baby scent.
“Why do you smell so good?” I asked her, gaining a smile and small laugh in return. I tickled her under her chin making her giggle. “I could eat you up you smell so good.”
Okay, maybe not the best choice of words, I realized, considering what the Queen did to the “meat” left over from the humans she harvested organs from. Why did it seem like nothing associated with the Queen ever led to good thoughts? Everything connected to her was tainted with evil, even me. I was no saint even before being made into a Harvester. I was obstinate, argumentative, and occasionally hot headed. But I knew right from wrong, and I had to believe that was due to my mother’s and father’s influence on my life when I was younger. Hopefully, the age-old argument between nature and nurture leaned more toward the nurture side when it came to me.
After Jace got dressed, we went straight to the mansion where the others were staying. We found them in the kitchen sitting around the table in the room eating breakfast.
