Chapter Twenty-Six
EDWARD HAD JUST told her to stay strong for the baby and had kissed her forehead when Mark appeared beside them.
“What’s going on?” he asked—half growled really. Laura hadn’t seen him approach, and she jumped, a little startled, and of course pulled away from Edward, feeling off balance. Had Mark heard the word baby? Did he know what they were talking about? She had to wonder. It made her fidget and feel guilty.
“We were just talking,” Edward said, wary.
“It didn’t look like talking.” Mark’s dark eyes flashed with anger. He was furious. But why was he so mad?
“Mark, what’s wrong?”
“He’s what’s wrong.” Mark nodded at Edward. “Elle just gave birth to your baby and you’re hitting on my girlfriend.”
“Mark, he wasn’t hitting on me,” Laura tried to explain.
“Really? Why did he kiss you?”
“On the forehead,” Laura said. Like a brother.
“What were you two talking about?”
Now that was a tough question to answer. Laura glanced at Edward, worried, but that split second was enough for Mark to jump to all the wrong conclusions. “Right.” Mark turned to leave, and Laura popped up, grabbing his elbow. He whirled.
“Leave me alone,” he growled.
“There’s no flirting,” Edward said. “We were just talking. I swear.”
“Don’t swear to me. You were always a liar.” Mark put his hands on his head and spun around, as if the enormity of the situation was just too much for him to speak. “I never should’ve let you back in my life. Never.”
“Man, calm down,” Edward said. “You really have no idea what you’re talking about here—”
“I know what I saw.” Mark turned to Laura. “Is this why you didn’t want to come sail around the world with me? Because it would take you too far from him?”
“No,” Laura sputtered. How could he think that? “Of course not.”
“How long has this been going on?” Mark demanded, and now Laura realized there was no talking to him. He’d gone to an irrational place. A place of deep hurt and betrayal.
“There’s nothing going on,” she said, trying to be calm.
“Really? So he just decided to help rebuild the Timothy just because?”
“Yes, actually,” Edward said, staring at his brother evenly. But there was no convincing Mark of that.
“Mark, just sit down, and we can talk,” Laura began.
Mark shook his head.
“Mark—”
“I thought you were different, Laura. You’re just like Elle.”
“How can you say that to me?” Laura couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could Mark be so ready to give up on her, on them?
“You’re making a mistake,” Edward told him.
That was enough to drive him out of the hospital. Laura watched as he stalked out the sliding doors and into the parking lot. In that instant, her whole world changed.
She and her baby deserved someone who didn’t spook so easily, someone who didn’t automatically believe the worst about her.
That was the worst truth to bear.
“Are you going to go after him?” Edward asked.
Laura shook her head.
“If he’d walk out on me just like that, then I don’t want him staying around just for a baby.” Her voice sounded cold and hard even in her own ears. But she had a baby to think about now. If Mark wasn’t ready or capable of rising to the occasion, then she’d have to do this alone.
* * *
MARK SPENT THE night on the Timothy, beneath decks. The gentle list of the boat should’ve been calming, but instead, he lay awake on his bunk, staring at the ceiling, the very ceiling that Laura and he had painted just weeks ago. And now here he was alone. He couldn’t help but think about how crazy it was that in such a short time he’d fallen head over heels in love with her enough that she could hurt him this badly.
Why didn’t she fight him off? That’s what he wanted to know. Why didn’t she fight harder? Why did she give up on him so easily? Why did she allow Edward so close to her? Especially when she knew how he’d hurt Mark in the past. She knew his history and yet, she still did this.
That’s what really hurt. He’d finally opened himself up to someone after over a year of heartbreak and grief, and this is how he was repaid. Maybe being vulnerable in the first place had been a mistake. Why had he seen fit to trust a perfect stranger?
Because she was kind and loving and she cared.
At least, that’s what he’d thought. Now, he wasn’t so sure. He knew when a woman tried to hide something, and Laura was hiding something all right. Her affection for Edward.
He was going to focus on his plan. Get on his boat, sail around the world. None of that had changed. Yet the idea of doing it without Laura made him feel hollow inside. This wasn’t grief—it was something even more devastating. His heart was broken.
The irony was he didn’t think after Elle and Timothy that his heart could ever be broken again. Yet here he was, feeling like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.
In his mind, he just kept coming back to the guilty look on Laura’s face. He could read her like a book, and she had been lying to him.
That was the part that he couldn’t stand.
How much of it had been a lie? He could run himself in circles wondering. He’d never know. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, but tomorrow, he had a change of clothes on the boat, and he’d figure out something. Maybe he’d hide out for a day or two and then go back to get stuff from his condo? Maybe Laura would come here and they’d talk.
As soon as the thought popped into his head he crushed it. Why would she come here? He’d been awful to her, and she didn’t love him anyway. No one who really loved him could’ve been hanging on to his brother like that, letting him hold her hands. And...Edward. Mark had been the fool to ever trust him. Why had he let Laura talk him into letting Edward back into his life? He knew better.
Tomorrow, he’d get the things he needed from his condo and set sail.
* * *
LAURA CRIED INTO Mark’s pillow that night, not sure why the tears wouldn’t stop. She ought to be angry with Mark, angry for him thinking so little of her, for him throwing a fit when he should’ve been understanding.
You could fix this in a single sentence. Just tell him what you and Edward were really talking about. Then he’d know.
Maybe she should. She’d been putting this off for too long, and for what? So Mark could make up stories about why she was whispering to his brother? Then again, did Mark deserve to know? He’d acted so irrationally, and he’d assumed the worst of her when she’d done nothing but help him since she first arrived on the island.
Laura sat up in bed and swiped the tears from her eyes. When was she ever going to find someone as loyal to her as she was to them?
She half expected Mark to come home sometime, but the later the hour got, the more she realized he wasn’t coming in. Where was he? It was nearly two in the morning now, and he wasn’t answering his texts, which was even more infuriating, and she’d called twice, but her call had gone straight to voice mail.
Even if I wanted to tell him I was pregnant, how could I if he’s not answering his phone? Text message? Hi, honey, I’m not cheating. I’m pregnant. And that makes you an asshole.
She was almost tempted. She should. It would serve him right.
Laura sniffed and then sat up in bed. She needed another trip to the bathroom. Was pregnancy bladder starting already? She hurried to the bathroom. It was only when she pulled down her pajama bottoms that she saw it.
Blood.
No. God, no. It was happening. Right here.
Suddenly, she was sucked back into her last pregnancy. She’d had spotting at fir
st. The doctor said it could be normal—as long as it stopped and no cramps began. But it didn’t stop, and then the cramps started, and then the blood just came and came. Eventually, she had to go to the hospital.
Laura remembered that horrible day like it happened yesterday. The cramps were intense, and when she went to the hospital, doctors diagnosed her with a rare condition, which led to trouble stopping the bleeding. She had immediate surgery, but she nearly lost her ability to have children at all.
She remembered the shock of it all—the doctor telling her she needed surgery, the definite loss of her baby and her hope. The orderlies rolling her down the hospital with the glaring flourescent lights sweeping by as she stared up at them wondering whether she was going to live or die.
Then she woke up to her sister by her bedside, her sister, full of so many questions. When were you going to tell me you were pregnant? I didn’t even know you were dating anyone. Laura, what’s going on?
And then, on the worst day of her life, she had to admit to her sister everything: the affair, the accidental pregnancy, the miscarriage.
That same day, the surgeon informed her she might never be able to bear children again. That she probably had less than a 50 percent chance.
Laura laughed to herself. Less than 50 percent, and here she was, carrying Mark’s baby. At least, she hoped she was.
Dear Lord, please look after this baby.
Yet, as she glanced at the quarter-sized drop of blood, she felt dizzy.
She felt like hyperventilating. Then she remembered—the fall on the boat. It had to be the fall. She was losing the baby. All her worst fears were coming true. She felt the bitter truth of that hit her like a rock slide. I’m never going to be a mother. I’m never going to hold my baby in my arms.
She swiped a tear from her cheek. Laura still had the on-call number for her ob-gyn. She glanced at her watch and realized with the time change, it wouldn’t be that late there. She dialed Dr. Pamela Goodwin’s answering service quickly, wondering if her or her partner would be “on call” for off hours. In just twenty minutes, her doctor had called her back.
“Laura? What’s wrong?”
In a blubber of tears, Laura explained about the spotting. She could barely get the words out.
“Okay, deep breaths,” Dr. Goodwin said on the line. “Do you have any cramping?”
“No,” Laura admitted, inwardly trying to feel out what was happening in her body. No cramps, no tightness, nothing. In fact, she wouldn’t have even known about the blood if she hadn’t needed to use the bathroom.
“Okay, that’s good. It might be nothing.” Her doctor sounded hopeful.
“Or it might be something.” Laura’s mind instantly went to all the worst-case scenarios. She was doomed. Her pregnancy was over. The surgeon had been right to warn her she might never have a baby.
“I know this seems bad,” Dr. Goodwin said. “I can’t do anything for you while you’re in St. Anthony’s. Is there a doctor you can see there? Someone at the emergency room?”
Laura remembered Elle’s ob-gyn. “Maybe.”
“Why don’t you see if you can get in? Just given your history, we don’t want to take any chances.”
Laura remembered being rushed into surgery.
“No, we don’t.” She hung up and called a cab. She hesitated, wondering if she ought to call Mark as well. This was not the way she wanted to tell him the news. She called his phone and got voice mail instantly. His battery was dead or his phone was turned off. Either way, she wasn’t getting through.
Annoyance burned in her. He was off nursing hurt feelings while she had to deal with this. It hardly seemed fair. Just one more reason I’ve got to go it alone, she thought.
* * *
SHE SAT IN the small island emergency room, and since there was only her and a tourist who cut his foot on a shell at the beach that day, she got in to see a doctor fairly quickly. The doctor, a young woman with dark hair, placed a heart rate Doppler device on her belly and the room filled with the sound of the baby’s heart.
“Your baby’s alive,” the doctor declared, and Laura felt a huge relief.
“Oh, thank God,” she murmured, sending up another prayer. She felt like crying. Her baby was alive—for now.
“But, did you know about your cervix? It’s—”
“Incompetent,” she said. “I know.” One of many ways her body had failed her during the last pregnancy.
The doctor read her chart and frowned. “And given the fact that the placenta detached during the last pregnancy, I’d say you’re better off heading home to the States for further treatment.”
“Do you think my baby can survive?” she asked, feeling hope brim in her chest. Say yes. Please, say yes.
The woman glanced at her, brow furrowed. “I really don’t know. There’s a chance, of course, but this isn’t my specialty. I think you’re probably better off back in San Francisco, where they have equipment they can use to monitor you. You need a specialist’s care. Here on the island—” she glanced around the simple exam room and shrugged “—we’re limited with what we can do.”
In the cab ride on the way back to the condo, Laura pulled up the airline website on her smartphone and managed to get tickets booked on the first morning flight off the island. She had an hour to go home, pack and get to the airport. She tried Mark’s cell one last time, but got voice mail again.
With the chances high she might miscarry, she wasn’t going to tell him about the baby. And given his behavior in the last twenty-four hours, she wasn’t sure he really was the man for her. He’d given up on her so easily, assumed the worst of her without letting her explain. She was angry and hurt, but now she needed to focus all her energy on the baby inside her.
She texted him a quick message.
Going back to San Francisco. It’s for the best.
There. She’d said it. She’d given him an out, too, though part of her hoped he’d call her bluff. This is what you get for falling in love with unavailable men.
Laura waited, watching her phone for any sign of a response. She got none. She put away her phone. No sense in waiting for Mark. Since the hour was so early, she sent a message to Edward.
Have to fly home. See a doctor.
To her surprise, he texted her back.
Everything okay?
She typed:
What are you doing awake?
I’ve got a newborn! Not much sleeping happening here.
She laughed a little, then she felt a pang of sadness. What if she never knew what that sleeplessness was like?
Edward texted:
You okay?
No. Might miscarry. But I have to go to see my doctor in San Francisco.
Anything I can do?
She wished he could help. She wanted to ask him to knock some sense into his brother. Or maybe just get him to turn on his blasted phone. Then again, why tell Mark? On the very off chance he would’ve been excited about the possibility of a baby, why tell him he never had a shot at having one? It just seemed cruel.
Besides, Laura thought, he’d made his feelings pretty clear about her. He didn’t trust her. Thought she was a cheater just because she talked to Edward. If he thought so little of her, why would she want to be with him?
Because you love him, a tiny voice in her head said.
She shook it off. She had to focus. Laura glanced at the phone in front of her. She needed to answer Edward, and there was something he could do for her, she realized.
Just please don’t say anything about this to Mark. If I miscarry, there’s no need for him to ever know about this.
And that was the truth of it. If she miscarried, she’d never tell Mark. She’d simply fly out of his life forever.
Laura doubted he’d come looking for her. He’d abandoned her at the first sign of trouble, so she knew he wa
sn’t in it for the long haul. She wanted someone who was in the fight with her, every day, who wouldn’t run out on her.
And if Mark couldn’t be that person, then she’d just find a way to do it alone.
In the meantime, Laura had to get back home, where the doctors could save her baby.
She sent up a silent prayer that she could make it in time. Please, God. Let this time be different. Laura covered her still-a flat belly with the palm of her hand. “Hold on, little one,” she murmured to her belly. “Hold on.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
MARK ARRIVED AT the condo the next morning around noon. He paused at his own front door. What was he going to say to her? He slid his key in the lock and swung open the front door.
“Laura?” he called, but no one answered.
Odd. Where was she?
Granted, it was almost noon. She could be anywhere. Grabbing a sandwich, even, though he hated to imagine her casually eating lunch when he’d spent the whole evening tossing and turning. It was one of the reasons he’d arrived so late. He’d lain awake most of the night, falling asleep only close to dawn.
As he’d tossed and turned, he realized he’d flown off the handle. He knew he’d been in the wrong, but he’d needed some time to calm down and see reason. He’d never given Laura a chance to explain, and he owed her that much.
He also realized that the hurt on her face, the look of surprise, had been real. If there was flirting happening, it was all on his brother’s side. The more he thought about it, the truer that seemed. He owed Laura an apology. He hoped she would understand. Mark had thought he’d worked through all the feelings he had about Elle and Edward, but clearly he hadn’t. And he’d taken that out on Laura.
She didn’t deserve that.
Sunlight blazed on a gorgeous clear ocean outside, if he could be bothered to look, which he couldn’t. He had too much on his mind.
He glanced at the bed and noticed it had been slept in. So she had stayed here overnight. Mark poked around the kitchen and found a single coffee mug in the sink. He walked into the bedroom to get his phone charger, when he realized that something was missing. Laura’s suitcase. It had been tucked into the corner of the room since she’d moved into his place, and now he could see it was gone.
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