by Karen Kay
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
The rehearsal for the show had ended hours ago. At present, Suzette and Irena were at their leisure, seated within what amounted to Irena’s best attempt at a parlor. The murky white tent’s flaps were closed, and the music box sounded in the background, giving the two women a feeling of privacy. Indeed, it was as perfect an atmosphere as any, were a person of the mind to admit the secrets of her heart. However, Suzette was not so inclined.
She said, “Tell you about what?”
“Come now, Suzie. This is me you are talking to.”
Suzette scowled at her grandmother. “I have no idea what it is you are asking of me.”
“Today. You. Black Lion. You threw your hat to him.”
“Only because he greeted me.”
“Yes, but why did he greet you?”
Suzette paused.
“Yes?” Irena encouraged.
“Well, we do know each other. We met in England, actually.”
“In England?”
“Yes, he ran over me. He hadn’t meant to, of course, but…”
“He did what?”
Suzette didn’t answer. She tried to change the subject instead. “Irena, have you told Mr. Cody your true age?”
“Of course I have, dear. I signed a contract,” said Irena matter-of-factly. “But let’s return the subject to Black Lion…”
Suzette twisted in her chair, and though the chair was more than comfortable, she was not.
“Well?” prompted Irena. “Are you going to tell me about it?”
“About what? There’s nothing to say, really. On that day in England, I was trying to find you. But I ran into the man, he pushed me in the mud, I got angry at him, and he proposed.”
Irena’s head came up. “He proposed?”
“Well, he meant it as a jest, I would venture to say. He said that because we had spent so much time in one another’s company, that to save my reputation, he would have to marry me.”
Irena was perched at the end of her seat. “That does sound like something he would say. And what did you say back to him?”
“I laughed at him.”
Irena bobbed her head. “Yes, I can see that you might have done that. And then?”
“That’s all there was to it really. We had a moment’s conversation, and then I went my way and he went his.”
“Hmmmm… And yet, there must have been something unusual about it for you both, for him to have bestowed the honor of his attention on you…and, might I add, for you to throw your hat to him.”
Suzette remained silent.
“Unless you have seen him in between that time and now.”
Suzette frowned. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean is this: A man does not shower attention on a person when he is performing, unless that person…means something to him. Come, Suzie dear. Tell me everything.”
Suzette shut her eyes, opened them and looked Irena directly in the eye. “I suppose I will have to tell you the truth.”
“That sounds like an excellent idea.”
“After all, you will probably hound me about it until you learn every little detail.”
“I should think so.”
“Then, I guess I am forced to tell you that we are married.”
An uncomfortable, deep and protracted silence followed the announcement. “Did you say married?” Irena said finally.
“I did.”
Irena, who had been practically ready to pop out of her chair, did the opposite and flopped back into it. “Married?”
“Don’t tell me that you, too, are prejudiced against him or our marriage because he is Indian. To do so would be the height of hypocrisy, since I know that you are here for no other reason than to find an Indian man whom you profess to love.”
“It’s not that I am prejudiced. Rather, I am…shocked.”
“Well, as long as you are shocked, I might as well tell you something else. Are you prepared for this next?”
Irena sat up stiffly. “No, but tell me anyway.”
“Very well. If you must know, I am pregnant.”
“By Black—”
“Oh, no! No, no, no. By William, of course.”
“Oh,” said Irena. “And William knows of this?”
“Yes.”
“And…”
Suzette sucked in her breath. “I imagine I should tell you the entire thing, shouldn’t I?”
“That would be best, yes. I did hear of your broken engagement… Your dear mother wrote to me about it. And I learned also that Lady Blair tried in every way she could to damage your reputation…because of me joining the Wild West Show, your mother tells me.”
“Yes. Lady Blair did try to blacken my character, but she was not as successful as she might have thought. Indeed, on my last evening in England, I sang to a full house, and were it not for this small problem, I would be there now, attending to my reputation without any needed help, I might add.”
“The problem that you speak of is your pregnancy?”
“Yes. When I discovered my condition, I made William swear to tell no one about it, not even his mother.”
“And I suppose he agreed readily?”
“Yes. I do believe he was frightened he might be forced to marry me and stand up to his mother. I must say, she is rather formidable.”
“But she is his mother, not his jailer, and he should have done right by you.”
“I do think so as well, particularly since I was under the impression we were to be married within a matter of days when the deed happened. I know it was wrong of me to relax my guard with him, but it seemed a harmless thing at the time since we were to be married soon. I never suspected that Lady Blair might call the whole thing off.”
Irena pulled her mouth into a grimace. “I should go home. I don’t have to be here. As a matter of fact, I shall go home. For when I do so, you can be married in an honorable way.”
“I am already married in an honorable way.”
“Yes, but…”
“Surely you do not think Black Lion is anything but honorable?”
“Of course he is. But it is, after all, because of me that you are in this predicament. Therefore, I will settle it.”
“No,” said Suzette. “I forbid you to do so. The situation has changed. I no longer love William, and I no longer wish him to be my husband. Not only did he fail to defend me against his mother, he also proved himself to be a cad. If anything, Irena, what you did saved me from a terrible mistake.”
“It is kind of you to say these things to exonerate me. But never did I envision my actions would ruin your engagement. And now that I know the details of it, I would make it right. If you are with his child, then you should be married to him.”
“No, I should not be,” said Suzette. “And I am not going back to England at this time. I am married to Black Lion, and I intend to remain married to him.”
Silence greeted this statement. “I see,” said Irena at last. “Tell me, have you had your wedding night with him yet?”
Suzette raised her chin. “If you mean has the marriage been consummated, I will have to say that this is between myself and…my husband.”
“Of course. You are right.” She smiled. “But have you?”
“Irena! I refuse to answer that question. Clearly, I can see that if I say no, then you might try to urge me to annul the marriage. If I say yes, the marriage is consummated, what will you do then? Confront him?”
“I will confront him with this sooner or later regardless of your answer.”
“No, you will not,” said Suzette.
“But I—”
“The man does me a favor. If you must know, I have married Black Lion because I will not marry William, and I will not have my child born out of wed
lock. Black Lion understands that all I require from him is his name, nothing more. And pray, do not speak to him of our marriage, either for it or against it.”
Irena remained silent.
“You must not,” said Suzette. “I will have your word on it.”
“And why should I give it?”
“Because if you do not, I will not detail to you the rest of the adventure.”
“There is more?”
“Oh, yes, indeed. There are my plans for the future to tell, and also I have not yet disclosed to you what happened between myself, William and Lady Blair.”
Irena drew her brows together, frowning at her granddaughter. “That’s blackmail.”
Suzette pressed her lips together and crossed her arms in front of her.
“Had I known Lady Blair would take such a stand with you,” said Irena, “I would never have agreed to this engagement with the Wild West Show.”
“I know that. Do you give me your word?”
“I cannot. I have become close to that young man, and a thing such as this can fester between people if they do not have it out. However, I will promise you that I will speak to him intelligently, gently, and I will not accuse him.”
Suzette weighed the possibilities, for she knew she would receive no better promise than this. “I guess that will have to do.”
“Yes. And now, tell me about William and Lady Blair. Besides being a mother’s boy and breaking your engagement, what has set you so against him?”
Suzette hesitated for a moment. “It could be no more than a trifling that has set me against him, perhaps.”
“A trifling?”
“Well, maybe more. He did, only a few days after our engagement was broken, set his attentions upon my understudy, Miss Abernathy. It was whispered about the opera that he had promised to accelerate Miss Abernathy’s career in the opera.”
“And, of course, there is no worse crime than that.”
“Do not jest—as you well know, it is a point of contention with me that he could so easily dally with another woman, and one whom I not only knew, but one who aspires to become a prima donna.”
“But sponsoring a diva is not the same as—”
“I first saw the two of them together after a performance,” Suzette interrupted. “He came backstage. I was there, and yet, although he did acknowledge me slightly, he went directly to her. I saw them leave together. I saw him kiss her.”
“Ah,” said Irena. “I begin to understand. This being the case, naturally you cannot marry him.”
“Indeed not.”
“And so you decided to follow me? That you might marry Black Lion?”
“No. I followed you because I was angry with you, and because I needed to leave England, William, his mother and those memories behind me.”
“Of course. And are you still angry with me?”
“No.” Suzette grinned. “Performance is in our blood. It would be stranger to me if, presented with what you were, you remained behind to see me safely married.”
“Thank you for that.” Irena fixed Suzette with a look. “But did it not occur to you on the trip here that you might find Black Lion and use him as a means of handling your situation?”
“No, it did not. It is true, however, that his unusual proposal did enter my mind on occasion, but I understood that he had meant it as a jest. Yet, when I saw him here, in your tent—”
“You met him here?”
“That first day, he had come here to see you. I was melancholy, as you can well understand. But, there was Black Lion, and there was I, and he seemed to understand me somehow and I… It just came out.”
Irena nodded.
“It wasn’t until after I said it that I realized it would be perfect, if he would do it. Marry him, have my child and return to England a married woman. And yet, it is not as perfect as it could have been. For it was never my intention to use Black Lion completely. If he were already married, it could have been done with little inconvenience to him.”
“Ah,” said Irena, “yes. But he is not married, I know that. Or perhaps I should say he was not married. Now tell me, did he object to the rather harsh living arrangements that will be necessary between the two of you? If you are to live apart?”
“He did not seem to. Although it would have eased my conscience considerably if he could take a wife besides me. But alas, it does no good to think of such things. It appears that the old ways of the American Indian are not well tolerated on the new reservations.”
“Indeed not. I do, however, think it strange that Black Lion should so willingly agree to the arrangement. He is a robust man. One would think he would aspire to the marital state, in all its bliss.”
Suzette, despite herself, could feel herself blush. “He did tell me that he has never intended to marry, and so it mattered little to him if he were able to take another wife or not.”
“Did he?” Irena arched a brow. “I wonder why.”
Suzette shrugged.
“Well, be that as it may,” said Irena, “your mother did write to me that Lady Blair continued to give you problems.”
“That is true.” Suzette pulled a face. “I must say that Lady Blair can be quite cruel in her whisperings.”
“Her kind is often cruel.”
“Perhaps, but I had liked her very much at one time.”
“Your mother did tell me you had done something that had her quite put out. What exactly did you do?”
“Well, it happened after a performance. I saw William and Miss Abernathy together, and I… If you must know, I took off my glove, I slapped William’s face and I called him a cad.”
“He is a cad.”
“Very true. Yet it was put about that I did much more than this, that I begged him to come back to me, offering myself to him.”
“Considering your position, it would not have been a great crime, my dear, even if you had done so.”
“But I did not do it.” Suzette’s head came up. “If I am to be punished, let it be for something I did, not a thing I did not and never would do. It was also said I misrepresented myself to him as being a woman of honor, and when he had discovered that I was not, due to…circumstances, he had no choice but to break the engagement.” Even now, Suzette could feel herself blush with the remembrance. Never had she been so humiliated, nor so angry.
“What terrible gossip.” Irena’s face was red as she spoke. “Terrible, ugly and so much a lie. Who was it, do you think, who fueled the gossip? William or his mother?”
“I am not clear on that fact. It could have been William, although, as I further considered that, I do think he is too inept to have invented such a lie. Then there was my understudy, Miss Abernathy, as well, for you and I know well the jealousy that abounds in our profession. Or mayhap it truly was Lady Blair who set the gossip into motion. But regardless of my feelings in the matter, whoever first started the rumor is not important. Not anymore. I am over it. The only thing critical to me now is my child, and making a good home for him or her.” Absentmindedly, she rubbed her stomach.
“And so that should be your first thought.” She paused. “Tell me, does Black Lion know of your condition?”
“Yes. It was one of the first things he asked me.”
“And he is willing to be your husband in all the ways, except perhaps one, yet let you raise the child alone?”
Suzette made a face. “No. He was quite adamant about his rights concerning the child. While he will not take him or her away from me, he would like to come to know the child.”
“Yes, I would imagine he would. The American Indians take seriously their duty as a mother or father. Though he will not do anything with the child that would upset you, he will want to figure largely in the child’s life.”
“And he may…while I am here. But perhaps you should be alert to the fact I plan
to return to England, and when I do, I will devote my life to my child and to my career.”
Irena nodded. “It is a worthy endeavor. And now, I have one further question. Are you hungry?”
“Indeed I am. Especially after a talk such as this.” Suzette smiled.
“Then pray, let us ring for the servant and attend to our dinner.”
“Yes,” said Suzette, “that would be most fine indeed.”
Chapter Eleven
It was too cold for the clouds to be making thunder. Yet thunder loomed above him, its grumbling so vigorous that were it not the dead of winter, one might have been fooled into thinking it was the prelude to a summer shower. Above him, black and gray clouds raced across the midday sky, as though they were chased by some unforeseen element of nature. However, there was little if any wind this day to cause their speed.
Small hailstones spit around Black Lion from those clouds, some hitting him full in the face. Ofttimes they hurt, for Black Lion had come before the Great Spirit as naked as a young babe.
He was cold. He was discouraged, but Black Lion would not be swayed from his task. He had come to this place, high in the mountains, to pray and to seek counsel with his spirit protector. He would have that counsel.
With smoldering sage in hand, he sang out:
“Mountain lioness, spirit protector
Hear my plea.
I have been gone from here, my country, it is true,
But I am home now, and I need seek your advice.
I did as you asked, and I sought the song
Across the seas.
I did not find it.
I did as you asked again,
I searched for it while traveling here and there.
I did not find it. I still have not found it.
But, spirit protector, something new has happened.
I have married, and the voice that sings the sacred
Song to me each night is she who is my wife.
Is she the one who has it?
May I sing it to her? Or if I sing it,
And she does not know it,
Will I forever have failed the Clan?
Mountain lioness, spirit protector, hear me.
I have not forgotten my people;
