by W L Knightly
He walked to his car, looking over his shoulder and hoping there wasn’t any kind of note left for him. His phone rang, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.
“Hannah? Is everything okay?” His sister didn’t call this late very often, and he always worried that it would be horrible news.
“Yeah, sorry. Are you still at work?”
Tad unlocked his door and got inside to start the car. “No, I’m on my way home. Did you need me to stop and get something for you?”
“No, I’m still at work, actually. I went home for a bit earlier, but I came back to fill in for my friend Nikki. Her boyfriend has been away in the military, and he came home early to surprise her. Call me a romantic, but I couldn’t let her miss that reunion.”
“You’re a good friend, sis. To me and everyone.” He always wished he had her ability to charm others, but he’d never used his looks for that. It was like they were some kind of people repellant. Or maybe it was just his personality. People seemed to love him in pictures, though. They always had.
“Thanks, sweetie. Anyway, I didn’t want you to worry about me, so I thought I’d let you know. Don’t wait up. I’ll be home after the sun.”
“Have a good one, then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He remembered he had that big shoot with Dos. “If you don’t catch me, remember I’ll be at Dos tomorrow.”
“Oh yeah, I’m so proud of you. You knock them dead, little bro.”
“Will do.” He ended the call with a farewell and then pulled out of the lot at Bakes and headed toward home.
On the way, he decided he’d clean up and call Estelle to see if she was in the mood for a little company. He could think of no better way to spend the night than to lay back and let Estelle get her kicks. He loved the way the woman used his body, explored it, enjoyed it, and it was always so relaxing and peaceful. It was practically a vacation.
He pulled up to his house and made sure once again to look over his shoulder. Whoever had left him that note knew where he lived, and while he didn’t want to live in fear, he wasn’t taking any chances.
After cleaning the smells from Bakes off his body, he splashed on some cologne and then heard a knock at the door. He froze, his body not only going still, but all the heat left him. Who could be coming over at this time of night? He didn’t ever entertain at his sister’s, and he wasn’t expecting any visitors.
He walked to the door. “Who is it?” he called out, but no one responded. He slowly put his hand on the knob, and he took a deep breath as he turned it and opened the door.
There was no one there. He looked back and forth and tried to see if anyone had possibly run away from the house. As he was about to dismiss it as kids being silly and close the door, he looked down and saw a brightly-colored package about the size of a hat box.
Every horror movie and TV reference regarding awful things in boxes, like bloody hearts and severed heads, came rushing back to him. He’d just spoken to Hannah, so she was okay. She had to be. He stepped forward and considered leaving the box where it was. He was afraid someone else might find it, though, and God only knew what kind of things were inside it.
He walked out wearing nothing but his towel, his bare feet hitting the cold, rough concrete. He stepped up to the box, and as a car came down the street, he hurried to snatch it up and take it inside.
He put it on the table and then opened it up to find a DVD. He took it to the nearest player, which was in the living room hooked up to the big-screen TV. He wondered what on earth it could be about and hoped it was not related to the killings in any way. It would be horrible to see the murders on film.
He hit play and held his breath.
The screen turned blue, and then a note came up telling him to watch it until the end. He would make that decision himself once he knew what it was a film of.
The screen changed, and suddenly, he was watching a younger version of himself posing for the camera. He had been twelve at the time and had learned to perform much better than he had when he only had to shoot still frames. He could see the reflection of his uncle in the glass vase on the table in the frame, although only someone who knew where to find him would see him there.
Someone knew about Tad’s past, and they were trying to use it against him, but he wasn’t sure how that could be. He’d been careful about who he told, and the only person who knew his darkest secret was the Secret Keeper, Bay Collins.
He balled his fists as he continued to watch his younger self as he walked over to the couch and stretched out on it. But even Tad couldn’t watch what he’d done to himself next. He closed his eyes and thought back to the day he’d told Bay Collins his deepest secret.
“Okay, Tad, there’s just one thing I have to ask you before you go through with your marking ceremony.” The two were standing out by the water. The night air was warm, and the moon hung low in the sky, shining so brightly they could barely make out the stars around it. “I am the Secret Keeper, and once you take that mark, you’ll be my brother for all eternity. Our secrets shall be each other’s burden, and we’ll always look out for one another.”
Tad had thought the boy was a god, a living, breathing deity who was going to save him and make him part of something that he could have only dreamed of in his other life.
Bay took his hand. “If you have any secrets to confess, you must confess them now.”
Tad looked down to Bay’s hand locked with his. “I’m afraid no one will be my friend if they know.”
“I will never share your secret, Tad, or judge you for it, no matter what it is. But I need to know you trust me with your darkest secrets.”
It had taken Tad a minute to find the words. “My uncle, he used to take pictures of me.” He looked up to see if Bay understood. He expected the boy to be smiling, but he was surprised to see Bay giving him a look of understanding like he’d been through the same thing himself.
“Did he abuse you?” Bay’s eyes were such that Tad knew what he meant. He didn’t mean the type of verbal or physical abuse he’d gotten from his father or the neglect he’d received from his mother.
“No, he didn’t touch me, but I know he got off on the pictures when I wasn’t around. I caught him once, but I never let him know about it.” Tad had walked into the basement one night and spied his uncle looking at the camera; his hand moving quickly beneath the blanket in his lap. He had turned and ran away, but not before seeing the images on the camera were of him.
Bay put out his hand. “This shall be our secret to seal our sacred bond as brothers. You can now prepare to take your marks and be one of us.”
One of us. One of something. One who mattered. One with family. One with brothers. He felt his life was changing for the better, and for that summer and the next, life couldn’t get any better.
The screen changed and brought his attention back to the TV in time to read the words, white letters on black, that read: Kill the past to save the future.
The screen changed again, and there was more of him violating himself. The image sped up until it was almost in fast forward, and then another screen appeared, this one flashing the words: Do it or things will only get worse.
The screen changed again to show more of his shameful past. Faster they changed, but all he saw was his uncle’s face in his mind. The last screen that flashed read: Shh! Do not tell a soul.
Then it faded to black, and loud static sounded.
He ran to the bathroom and barely made it in time. He fell to his knees in front of the bowl and heaved. His stomach was nearly empty, and thankfully, he’d eaten a light lunch. His shoot was the next day, and he didn’t even want to think about how he’d have to get through another day of life grinning and bearing the shit he’d been dealt.
But deep down, he knew this was his fault. He’d helped to kill that girl, and now someone was making him pay his penance.
When he couldn’t get anything else out, he crawled over to lean against the tub. The cool porcelain felt nice on his skin and
helped center him. He got to his feet and brushed his teeth, gargling extra mouthwash before spitting it into the toilet and flushing.
He broke out in chills and headed to his room to get dressed. The person who sent the film hadn’t given him a timeline, but he knew the task. He had to kill his uncle.
He hadn’t hated the man. On the contrary, he actually had loved him more than anyone in the world at one time, including Hannah. His uncle had accepted him, taught him things, trusted him with secrets, and more importantly, he’d been the father Tad never had.
The photo shoots had only been a small part of life with him, and things hadn’t gone south until he’d gotten older and learned his uncle had all but cleaned out his secret stash of money, claiming someone had robbed the house. A week later, the video camera had shown up, and his uncle had become more demanding, offering him more money, wanting him to do more things. He realized that if he didn’t get away, it would never stop, and if he weren’t careful, someone would find out about him. He let it continue long enough to save a little cash, and then he started saying no.
His mother meeting Curtis was his only way out. The man had offered to help him pay for camp and wanted him to get a job. Tad had lied and said he’d been mowing lawns, but that last little bit of dirty money paid his way into Camp Victory.
If he hadn’t gone through that hell, he wouldn’t have ever met the guys at camp, and if he hadn’t done that, then he wouldn’t have had to live a life full of secrets and shame. It was as if his life was one big fuck up after another, a vicious circle he couldn’t escape, and now, he was expected to do yet another thing he could never take back.
10
Tad
Tad woke up ready to get the day over with, and sitting in traffic wasn’t his idea of fun, either. He still had plenty of time to make it to the shoot, so he didn’t worry about that. He had plenty of other things to worry about, though. Not only was someone threatening him, but they’d made it unclear as to when he was supposed to carry out this task. He had a gun which he’d gotten from a friend a few years back, an even trade for a watch which Tad had no use for since he’d gotten his phone. He kept the gun hidden under his seat since the threats started, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to pull it out and use it.
He got to the location of the shoot with plenty of time to spare, and after being directed to his parking area, he was excited to see everyone busy making things come together. There was a small travel trailer and some canopies to shade the sun next to it.
Colorful leaves scattered the ground around where he’d be seated on a park bench, and lucky for him, no one would have to see his mark.
Spencer was taking some practice shots of a young girl who didn’t look too comfortable in front of a camera. His smile widened when he saw Tad walk up.
“Ah, Tad Halston, everyone.” The guy said his name like he was some kind of celebrity, and Tad thought he was much too kind. “I’m glad you’re here a little early. I want you to make a stop to hair and makeup, and be ready for your turn. I think you’re last?” He turned and looked at the woman whose picture he’d been taking, and she nodded.
“That’s right; his solos are last. We’ll do the two girls, then the group, some couples, and then the male solos.”
He was glad to hear a game plan and noticed that Spencer had his own way of working and his own atmosphere.
The girl walked over and put out her hand. “I’m Cora. I’ll come and get you when we’re ready, and I’ll try to make sure that hair and makeup don’t keep you too long. Those girls get a little chatty, especially with the male models.” She turned her attention over his shoulder and waved. Tad turned to see two women waving back. One was ready with her makeup brush, waving it like a wand, and the other was pointing her blow dryer like a gun.
Tad spent the next half hour getting his skin moisturized and receiving the smallest amount of makeup to hide the bags under his eyes that his stalker had given him.
Then it was time to get him into his clothes. He went to wardrobe which was set up in the trailer and was relieved that he only had one attendant. The man was smiling, and his eyes twinkled a little as Tad entered the room. “Well, you’re going to be a fun one to dress.” He held up a few outfits, and Tad let the man make his decision. “This one, don’t you think? Name’s Marvin, by the way.”
“I’m Tad. It’s nice to meet you.” He shook Marvin’s hand, and the guy went back to working the buttons on the clothes he’d have to put on.
“Is that short for Thaddeus?” He opened the last button on the shirt and then undid the cuffs. “Try this one.”
“Nope, it’s not short for anything. My mom just liked the name, I guess.” Tad had asked her once, and she’d said there was no need in naming him something that people were just going to shorten anyway, but little did she know that when you had a name a short as Tad, people would eventually try to add something on it. Thaddeus, Theodore, Tadrick; he’d heard them all. He slipped his gray V-neck over his head, and he caught Marvin’s impressed expression.
“Well, I like it. The name, I mean. Not that all the rest of you isn’t nice, too.” He gave a chuckle.
“Thanks,” Tad said as he shrugged on the button-down.
Marvin walked over to help him with his buttons. It was not uncommon in any way, and Tad didn’t feel strange that Marvin was obviously attracted to him. This wasn’t his first rodeo, as Uncle Roddy used to say.
The thought of him put a knot in Tad’s stomach, and he looked up to see Marvin staring right at his mark, which he’d forgotten to cover.
“Honey, what happened to you? You look like you’ve been branded like cattle.” Marvin’s long fingers traced the scar, and Tad held his breath, hoping the man wouldn’t recognize it. “That looks like it hurt.”
“It did. It’s from my stupid youth. Fraternities and keggers, you know?” He had never even been to college, but Marvin didn’t need to know that. He hoped the guy wouldn’t mention it or hear about how it was connected to a crime. Tad had been watching the news, and he’d yet to see them mention it.
“We all do some stupid shit. I got the bright idea to pierce my nipples. You should have heard me scream. I think my voice hit a high note I haven’t ever reached again.” He stepped back and gave Tad the onceover. “That is your color. I think Spencer will like this one best with the girls. I’ll save the other for the solos.” He handed him a vest and a blazer, and then they tried a few scarves.
Cora stuck her head in the door. “We’re ready for you, Tad.” She hurried out, and Marvin smiled.
“Give me a spin.” Tad spun around, and Marvin removed the pocket square from his blazer. Then Marvin spun around. “This too.” He tugged the vest. Tad removed the coat and quickly slipped off the vest. Once he was in the coat and scarf, Marvin opened the door. “Now, you’re ready.”
Tad had never argued with a stylist. He had learned to let the others do their job, and if he didn’t look on point, the photographer would get on the staff, not him. He walked out, and Spencer and Cora placed him with the others. He fell back into it naturally, like the camera was an old friend and not a dirty secret.
If any of his pictures were ever discovered, it would be the end of his career. No company would want an ex-porn-star working for them, much less one who had been underage.
After he had posed and done his bit, going from both couples to solo shots, he had a moment to rest up in the trailer before the shots were reviewed.
He looked around and noticed that not one person was crowded into a corner snorting coke, nor was one person obviously high. He’d seen it all. Shoots where the models were snorting in between sittings and laughing about white-powdered noses and nosebleeds. He was glad that this time it was different.
Spencer called him out and shared the photos he’d taken with each model. A couple of the girls squealed with delight when they showed Tad’s, and Marvin let out a giggle.
“I’m glad you could fill in; your look was perfect, and it
seems that everyone was pleased with your presence. That’s a successful day if I’ve ever had one.” Spencer clapped him on the back and then turned to the others, who stood around waiting for his final word. “That’s a wrap, friends.”
Knowing there weren’t any reshoots and the job was done, Tad went back into the trailer to change clothes. He had just gotten his pants on when Spencer came in and sat down on the couch across the room.
“Great job today. I’m really impressed with your look.”
“Thanks, I appreciate the opportunity.”
“I have a feeling there will be lots of opportunities if you’re interested. I’m thinking first call.”
Tad liked the sound of that. First call would mean he’d have first dibs for jobs and steady work, too. “Yes, I’d like that very much. Thank you.”
“There’s a job in two days. It’s with one of my larger contracts, so I’ll need you to show. I’ll text you the details. If all goes well, first call is yours. So, do me a favor, and be on your toes. Look your best. Plenty of sleep, plenty of water.”
“You got it.” The two shook hands, and Tad was beaming when his phone made a sound. One glance and he knew that he needed to step away and read it. “I’ll be there.”
“Awesome, I’ll let you get ready, and I’ll be in touch.” He got up and headed out of the trailer while Tad pulled his shirt over his head and found his shoes.
Once dressed, he didn’t wait to get out to his car to peek at his phone. Instead, he walked out to the front, and while the rest of the crew was leaving and packing up equipment, he read the two-word message: Tick tock.
He was running out of time apparently, but the messenger still hadn’t given him a timeframe. He trembled, trying hard not to let anyone around him see that he was terrified.
A hand clapped his back, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. “Whoa, sorry,” Marvin said. “I just wanted to tell you it was nice working with you, and I hope to see you around.” He eyed Tad up and down, but it wasn’t the same I want to sop you up like honey on a biscuit look that he’d given him before. This time, he was concerned. “Are you okay? You look like you saw the dead.”
