“What’s about to happen?” I asked, my voice coming off a little shaky.
“I am going to choose one of your little boy toys. There are adequately enough for me to choose from. It’s like you have your own personal harem, and because I like turmoil and pain in others’ eyes, the one I pick will get to kiss you. Oh, how cruel and devastating it will be for you to see the hurt in one of your lover’s eyes when this is all over. But, it will be beautiful to me.”
I coughed and swallowed down the bile threatening the back of my throat. “I’m not big on voyeurism.” Quickly, I bit my tongue, forbidding myself from elaborating any further on my intimate experiences, or lack thereof. I think I would have been mortified if I would have said that, but I didn’t have to wonder for long.
“Well, unfortunately, this is my game, and I am quite aware of your sexual prowess. I know you are a virgin.” The room went dead silent as she stopped to let that tidbit of information sink in for everyone. “Besides, child, this would not be fun at all if you weren’t as pure as you are. You would probably welcome whatever sexual endeavors were thrown at you, but I would never take things that far. I may be cruel, but I have my limits when it comes to virgins. So trust me, your virtue shall remain intact.”
I scoffed. “You’re fairy. Hell, you’re queen of the fairies. You can't possibly believe I would trust you!”
“Oh, you are correct, but it's too late now. Let’s begin! Silence in the room, please.” Queen Rendalla chirped.
I listened closely, but there was nothing to hear, nothing at all. I don’t know what I was expecting, exactly. When someone says “silence”, normally that means the room goes quiet. But subtle sounds still linger, like the breaths of those in the room. But this quiet was different. This silence was the silence of the dead.
“So what just happened?” I inquired.
“Well I called for silence, and that is what I received.”
“So you placed a spell over everyone?” I asked.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Charlie
“Mmmm, yes, and it seems that no one is having fun now. They all look like they are not enjoying this because I have freed the one I want to kiss you. If looks could kill, he would be dead. Too bad they cannot tell you who you’re about to kiss.”
I groaned. I had a feeling it was Oz. Someone I really didn’t want touching me was about to kiss me! Oh God, oh God. Please don’t let it be Oz! I wanted to object to who I just knew was going to be Oz, but I didn’t want to be mean. I blurted out, “Wait! Is it going to be someone I know? Or someone from your court?”
“I thought about making it someone from my court, but I knew it wouldn’t be as fun. Now, go to her,” Queen Rendalla commanded.
Whoever it was placed his hands on my shoulders, just pushing down a little so I could feel the pressure and heat of his palms. I felt his hands shake, and I knew that he must be as nervous as I was. The whole thing was barbaric and crazy. At least I didn’t have to see everyone’s face as he kissed me, but he had everyone’s eyes on him right now. I wasn’t fooling myself. This blindfold would come off, and I would have to see Tru and Jace’s faces. I would see the hurt I voluntarily put there.
For Nikko! I chided myself. This was for Nikko!
The guy, whoever he was, leaned in. I felt his lips graze mine, and a searing sensation spread through my body. I gasped, knowing who this person was and not believing that it was him. That she was allowing him to kiss me.
I pulled my head back as far as I could and stuttered, “W-w-w-what?”
He whispered, “Shhh, Love. It is alright. I will not let anything happen to you. You are mine, remember? You will always be mine!”
I sucked in a sharp breath. It was the Traveller! I just kissed my enemy! I just kissed Crispin! I started shaking my head back and forth in denial. He placed his hands on my face, stopping my movements. I shivered from his touch, his presence sending an intense rush of need deep inside me.
“Yes, Love, it is I, your dream come to life. But I was never really a dream…was I? Now, I am going to kiss you again, and this time, it is going to be a deeper kiss. A kiss that you will never forget, even if you try, even with the block I will set on your mind. This kiss, no other one will be able to compare to it.”
Boy, he sure was full of himself.
He chuckled, “I know what you are thinking, Love, and yes, I may be full of myself, but I am also telling the truth. I have to say, your lips taste just as divine as I imagined. I have wanted to kiss you from the moment I laid eyes upon you, but sadly, I am going to make you forget you ever kissed me. You will believe you kissed another and it was nice, but soon, I will let you remember that it was I.”
“Why are you going to make me forget?” I asked incredulously.
“Because it is not the right time. Soon, Love, very soon. For right now, I want your foolish boys to see the need, the longing, and the want written on your face as my lips devour yours. Trust me, Love, you will enjoy every brush and stroke.”
Nervous, I licked my lips as Crispin moved in and started to kiss me. He ran his tongue over the top of my lip and slid it across and down so it grazed my bottom lip. Taking his mouth, he placed it over my bottom lip and sucked, pulling the skin into his mouth and biting down. I gasped, opening my mouth wider.
Crispin took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues intertwined, and my body felt like it was on fire. Crispin pulled his mouth away from mine and started trailing kisses down my neck and around to my ear. He bit down gently. For a split second, panic set in from a memory.
“No, Love. It is only you and me. You will not think of anything but the feel of my body pressed against yours,” Crispin ordered.
My breathing became faster and heavier as he brushed the lower part of his body across mine. My mind went blank, forgetting where we were and who was watching. I was only focused on the sensations bombarding my body.
Crispin chuckled; it was a sensual sound that made my back arch away from the pole I was shackled to. I sighed blissfully.
He caressed my cheek. “Yes, Love, now I’m going to remove your blindfold.”
“Okay, I’ve always wondered what you looked like.” He removed the blindfold, and I slowly opened my eyes and looked into Cris’s face. My mouth fell open. I blinked rapidly. “What the... You’re….”
“Yes, Love. I am the boy, Cris, and the man, Crispin.” He smirked. “So far, no one has been able to hear what we are saying. They have only been privy to the show. Nevertheless, that is about to change. You are about to tell everyone in this room what your heart truly desires, but Love, after you tell what your heart desires, I will remove all thought of me, the man, and leave you with only the thought that you kissed me, the boy.”
I felt sick. I never considered pulling away or fighting him. I never thought about what it was doing to the people in my life. All that I knew were the amazing sensations shooting through my entire body and how much I have wanted this. I have always, in the back of my mind, wondered what it would be like to truly touch him and see what my dream invader looked like. I was such an idiot. Why didn’t I try something?! Anything? Why?
Crispin shook his head. “Love, you couldn’t have done anything once the magical shackles were placed upon your skin.” I frowned. He rubbed the corners of my lips and said, “Ready?”
I grunted, “Yes I am ready to get this over with.” He snapped his fingers. “I…whoa…wait, what just happened? Why is Cris standing beside me? Will someone tell me what’s going on? ”
Everyone looked at me with various expressions of disbelief.
“You cannot remember what happened?” Queen Rendalla asked.
“No, I don’t remember what happened! So, what did happen?” I asked nervously.
“Why, the game, of course!” Queen Rendalla taunted.
“Of course! So, clearly, my mind didn’t need to be present for this game, I guess! So who was the one that kissed me?” I asked.
“I-I-I did. Sorry.” Cris held up one hand, looking sheepish. “It wasn’t anything really, just a little kiss, and I talked to you to try and ease your mind. I don’t know why you don’t remember.” He scratched his head self-consciously. “I guess, I’m not that memorable.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t. I’m sure it wasn’t you…” I trailed off and quickly redirected my question to the queen. “What happened next?”
“Oh, child, you told everyone what your heart truly desires.”
I was starting to get aggravated. She wasn’t volunteering any information that was for sure. I nearly rolled my eyes and groaned. “Would you care to share what my heart truly wants?”
She sighed. “Would anyone care to enlighten her?”
Asher said, “Sure. Allow me.” I looked at him, surprised by the tone in his voice. He sounded truly ticked off. “What you truly want is to be human and to have never met us!”
I interjected, “Why? Why would I say that?” I tried my hardest to understand why I would say that. I searched deep inside me, but there was nothing. I didn’t understand. I looked over at my parents, and it felt like my world had tilted on its side. They looked devastatingly crushed. I knew that they only wanted for me what I wanted, but if what Asher was saying was at all true, that would mean that I didn’t want them as my parents because they couldn’t be my parents if I was human. I felt like I was going to throw up. My heart seemed to stop and everything inside of me closed in on itself. Then, there was nothing but darkness.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Charlie
I came to, lying on a couch. For some reason, this struck me as odd that a couch would be in the fairy world. I rose up and looked around, steadying myself and giving my eyes time to adjust. I then noticed what I had on. It was a white dress, a very familiar white dress, the same exact dress that was torn off my body in a nightmare. A cold sweat broke out on my skin . Was my nightmare about to come to fruition? If not, then how do I have the same exact dress on?
I searched my mind, trying to remember if I said anything about my nightmare and the dress; however, something was blocking my memories. I felt the strain of the memories in my head pushing to enter the forefront of my mind, but they were bottlenecked by some unknown force. Only certain things were permitted to enter my consciousness. I kissed Cris. I don’t even remember Cris kissing me, but I know it happened. I spilled my greatest desire, and I have no idea where it came from. Stunned and confused, I focused on a small spot on the wall, squinting and trying to understand.
How could I wish I was normal? How could I wish I had never met any of the supernatural people that have impacted my life so far? How could I want to be normal and never know my mother and father?
I didn’t feel like any of that was true! Maybe a part of me wished I was back to being normal—a normal girl with a normal life. But to be normal and never know the people that I know now? I would never want or wish for that. How could I? I shoved the dreadful thoughts out of my head and pushed myself up off the couch. I looked around the dark room, wondering where the guards were. The room was massive, and the only light came from a blue chandelier.
As my eyes adjusted to the light, I became fixated on the palette of color, the various shades of blue. I never knew there could be that many shades of one color.
I sighed and heard the door creak open. It startled me, and I nearly jumped over the couch, but I held my composure. I knew I was in the fairy world, and jumping over this couch would show weakness.
I didn’t want them to think I was a frightened, little child. I held my ground, even though I was nervous. I exhaled when I saw who was coming through the door. I walked over and gave him a big hug. Pulling back, I asked, “Tru, where is everyone?”
Tru smiled tentatively, “Yeah, they’ll be in here soon to get us. I asked your mom if she would hold everyone off until I had a chance to talk to you. I think she might like me now. You know, I may have worked my way into her heart just a little.” He winked.
I nodded. I knew my mom liked Tru, but she was furious that he hurt me. She also knows it was a spell and you can’t fault anyone for something that they didn’t have any control over. “Yeah, it’s kinda hard for you to not work your way into people’s hearts, Tru. You’re just that amazing.” His face turned slightly red. I shook my head. “So, what was it you needed to talk about?”
“Isn’t it obvious…us? Well, our conversations lately are always about us.” Tru shrugged his shoulders. His midnight black hair swayed with his movements. He thrust his hands deep into his pockets. I watched his forearms flex with the movement.
The amber and emerald in his eyes mingled, catching the light and gleaming. I wanted to wrap myself in his arms like I used to. I wanted to be the girl he first met, the one that made him happy, not the one that caused him pain. I have felt this kind of pain before, the pain of losing someone you care deeply for. Maybe if it was another time. If I was another girl, this would have all been easier. Because, as much as I went back and forth with my feelings for Tru, I knew it was over. Looking deep into his sweet, caring, eyes, I knew it was time to let Tru go so he could be happy. My heart, even though I thought it was Tru’s, it wasn’t. It wasn’t even mine to be giving away in the first place. My heart had always been with another.
Fudge! This was such a bad time to have an epiphany, but my timing always sucked. I felt like my heart was splintering into tiny fragments. I knew when I told him, he would be crushed. I hated that I was going to hurt him yet again. Why does my life have to be so difficult?!
“C? You okay? The face you’re making… it’s worrying me a little.” Tru shook his head and closed his eyes. “Did you know, the love and pain a guy feels when he’s found the one he’s supposed to be with when she doesn’t want to be with him, is felt so much more-deeper with me?” I shook my head. Tru frowned. “I feel it deeper because I also have a wolf inside me. My wolf feels what I am feeling. It’s a blessing and a curse. To feel joy, love, and pleasure twice as much as a normal person, is amazing. But to feel hurt, rage, and pain twice over is almost unbearable. I know I hurt you. I was there. I could see it playing out before me, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was imprisoned inside my own body. I was having all kinds of mixed emotions. One second, I wanted to touch you, and the next, I wanted to rip your flesh from your body. I hated you, and I didn’t know why! I’ve never been the kind of person that wanted to kill someone for just breathing around me, and now, I’m back to being me once again.” Tru grabbed something around his neck, a wave of caution easing over him.
I looked closely and saw it was a necklace, but not just any necklace. This one had the stone I found in his mother’s store, the stone that could kill and control me.
“So when did you start wearing that?” I asked, pointing at it.
“When you told me what you were, I thought I needed to start wearing it. But I know you’re not anything like the Traveller or Kate. C, you are amazing. If you could have seen what you looked like through my eyes. How the magic flowed out of your body. Beautiful is the only word that comes to mind. But we are going to have to work on your self-preservation.”
“Maybe.”
“Um… so, I’m guessing whatever spell I was under finally wore off. Do you think Kate was the one that put the spell on me?” he inquired.
“Who else could it have been? I guess Tammin, but I don’t know. I do know they’ve messed with the wrong girl. No more Miss Nice Charlie. I am going to get Nikko and destroy Kate. I’ll even take down Tammin if I have to,” I declared.
Tru pulled me into his arms, holding me tight, and kissed the top of my head. “You know I love you, right?”
I breathed out a ragged breath. “Yes, I know.”
“C.” Tru raised up my chin so I could look at him. “When you find the right person, you have to do everything in your power to keep them, even if it means bringing out the inner wolf. If they don’t try, then did they really care? I just know I’ll sure as hell
do anything to keep you as mine.” A single tear fail from his eyes.
“Tru?” I whispered. “Please don’t hate me.”
He smiled. It was a sad smile, one that I would remember forever. “C, I could never hate you. From the very moment I laid eyes on you, I was lost. You have stolen the breath from my lungs and the heart from my chest. C, you are the air that I breathe and the beat of my heart.” He placed my right hand on his chest. “Do you feel the rhythm? That beautiful melody it plays only for you?” He moved my hand to his lips and breathed in and out slowly. “Do you feel the air I breathe? It’s all yours now. I will live and die for you.”
I closed my eyes and silently cried. I didn’t want him to see how much this was hurting me. I didn’t have the right to be hurt. I didn’t have the right to feel the pain I was feeling.
“Tru, please stop. You are saying such sweet things. Things that any girl would be lucky to hear coming from an amazing guy like you, but the thing is, I can’t really be with anyone right now. First, I have to figure out if what you are feeling for me is the result of The Seven or, in fact, genuine. Tru, I was all for us. I was yours! I made up my mind that you were the one I wanted to be with, but then a spell was cast over you and I learned about the Seven. Plus, then we come to the fairy lands, and you have to watch me and Jace. I know how that feels, Tru! What I’m saying is, first I have to fix Nikko and me. I have to stop the Traveller and basically save the supernatural world before I can even think about being with anyone. I hope you understand.”
Guilt seemed to flood my body. I was being selfish because I wasn’t telling him everything. I wasn’t telling him that, in my heart, I believed we could never be together as we once were. How could we, after everything? Yeah, I was such a wonderful catch. The fact was, Tru deserved someone so much better than me, and I wanted him to be happy more than anything. I resolved that I would tell him once we were back home.
A Ghost of Magic: Chosen Saga Book 3 Page 17
