“Pretty well I expect. A lot of her friends from school have baby brothers or sisters. That little girl she always seems to meet up with at the park has a baby brother who she usually fusses over for a minute or two before going off to play, so I think she'll do okay."
"This is wonderful news Kimber.” He looked at her then, and she could feel his eyes probing hers. "Aren't you happy baby?"
"Of course I am.” And she was. Though there was a nagging doubt at the back of her mind that she wouldn't let herself think about until she heard his even breathing beside her and knew he was asleep.
She turned away from him, still trying to figure out if it was possible. Still trying to convince herself that this child couldn't belong to anyone other than Luke.
But she couldn't do it. The reality set in as she lay there looking at the ceiling thinking about Paul; that she hadn't had a period since she'd been with him.
It had been a Thursday night. She was in the back room of the store, going through a shipment of books that needed to be put out, when she heard the door chime, signifying that someone had entered the store. She’d realized that, while she'd turned the sign over to closed, she hadn't locked the door.
"We're closed," she called out, hoping that it wasn't someone coming to rob her.
She had gotten up, to try to peek around the corner and see if she could see who it was, when he appeared before her. "Oh." She’d looked up at him, into a beautiful pair of blue eyes that were no longer hidden by glasses. "Hi Paul. You got contacts."
He looked good, so different than when she'd first met him. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t shirt. His hair was wet as if he'd just taken a shower.
"I finally gave in to my wife's nagging and got them." He gave her an almost shy grin. "I wanted to stop by to tell you that Sierra and I are leaving town. So you won't have to worry about her and Luke, you know."
"It wasn't all her fault Paul.” She wasn’t sure why she felt the sudden need to defend a woman she'd never met, a woman who had been sleeping with her husband.
"Yeah, I know.” His grin faded slightly. "I really do love her. That's why I decided to go home. But I figured it would be best for all of us if we got the hell out of this town. Luckily it's been pretty easy since I got that new job. So. . ."
"So.” She’d stood there uncomfortably, staring at him.
She wasn't sure who took the first step closer; her or Paul, but he was right next to her and she could feel his breath on her neck as he leaned to kiss her.
They'd made love on the couch in the back room of her store.
No, they hadn't made love really. They'd had sex. Hot, sweaty mind blowing sex the likes of which she couldn't remember having had in a long time, though Luke was certainly no slouch in bed.
She'd felt bad afterwards, but it had felt really good too. Not only the physical act, though that had been so damn good that Kimber found herself having to suppress a shudder thinking about it. It had also felt good. In a way it felt like they were getting back at Luke and Sierra, though it was not something she ever planned to reveal to Luke, especially since finding out she was pregnant. She assumed it was something that Paul had chosen not to share with Sierra either.
She had wondered afterwards why Sierra had needed to turn to Luke at all when her husband was such a good lover, but figured that maybe it was the whole wrongness of the thing that had made it so good.
She let out a quiet sigh as she turned back towards her husband.
If this was Paul's child, didn't Luke have a right to know she thought? Didn't Paul have a right to know?
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror then. Both her hair and her eyes were similar enough in color to Paul's that if the child did happen to be his and happened to be born with light blonde hair and blue eyes, the hair and eye color could reasonably be attributed to Kimber.
She had pretty much made up her mind to keep her mouth shut, but it was cemented when she walked down the hall to her daughter's room, cracking the door open a hair more, as it was always left slightly ajar at night.
She looked at her sleeping daughter in the faint light of the night light and knew she wasn't going to tell Luke that she'd slept with Paul.
What they had was too good to let go of for one good screw. While she felt a little hypocritical, okay she admitted to herself, maybe she was being very hypocritical. She thought as she slipped quietly back into bed beside her husband that there were some things that were better left unsaid.
Better Left Unsaid
Misty Reigenborn
Copyright 2012 By Misty Reigenborn
Kimber
Kimber met her own blue eyes in the mirror. She fought tears and realized that she could no longer keep her secret from her husband. She loved Luke and didn’t want to lose him, especially when she was pregnant and she had let him come home after his affair with his ex-girlfriend, but she knew that she had to tell him.
Kimber looked at her stomach and placed her hand protectively over it. Her stomach was still relatively flat since she was only four months into her pregnancy, but she could feel the life within her. The child that may or may not belong to her beloved husband.
When she had first found out about her pregnancy, she had thought that one night of passion was not worth screwing up her marriage, especially after she had forgiven him for his affair which had not just been one night. But she could hardly look Luke in the eye anymore and she was afraid that her stress was going to carry over to the child that she carried.
Luke was out. He had been writing songs with a frenzied passion since she had let him return home and had managed to run out of the only paper that he would write them on yet again. Their daughter Alexis was staying with a neighbor overnight. Bunny went to the same school that Alexis did. Kimber had been very tempted to move her to another school when she’d found out that the woman Luke had had an affair with had been not only his ex, but their daughter’s teacher. But their daughter loved her school and her friends and Kimber hadn’t had the heart to take it away from her.
Kimber took a deep breath and let it out as she heard the front door open and close. Luke called up to her “Babe are you home?”
Kimber bit her lip. Luke had convinced her to hire someone to run the bookstore she owned while she was pregnant. She missed it sometimes but she trusted the women that were working there and she felt like she had already missed so much of seeing Alexis grow. She cleared her throat.
“Yes Luke, I’m home.”
She heard his footsteps on the stairs. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She feared that she was on the verge of a panic attack and took several deep breaths and let them out slowly before he had reached her.
Luke took one look at her and took her into his arms. Luke had such strong arms. She had always felt so safe and protected when she was in their circle. She liked that he was tall and muscular, because Kimber herself was 5’9 and wasn’t super skinny when she wasn’t pregnant and had grown tired of feeling so big next to the men that she dated.
Luke pulled back slightly and she made herself look into his hazel eyes.
“Babe is everything okay? Is something wrong with the baby? I thought you didn’t have another appointment with the doctor until next week.” Luke placed his hand on her stomach.
Kimber put her hand over his. He was such a wonderful father. He had been so happy when she’d told him she was pregnant, and now she was going to take all of that away from him. “I need to tell you something Luke.”
His face was still full of concern as he took her hand and led her to their bed. “Sit down honey. You look like you’re going to be sick.”
She sat down with him and let him rub her back. His hands felt so good. She wondered how he would react to her news. And he wasn’t the only one she had to tell either. She put her head to his chest for a minute and breathed in his scent. Luke had always smelled just the way she thought a man should smell. She loved him so much sometimes she felt
like she could hardly breathe when she was around him.
It had broken her heart when she had found out he was cheating, especially since he wasn’t the one that had told her. But the man that had told her was a big part of her problem. She had had sex with the husband of the woman that Luke had cheated with. Sex without protection. And now, she didn’t know whether she carried the child of her husband or her one night lover.
Tears started to fall down her face. Luke took her face in his hand and tipped it to make her look at him. “Sweetheart what is wrong? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”
Kimber shook her head. Her voice sounded to her like she had eaten a handful of broken glass when she said “Not this Luke.”
A look of caution crossed over her husband’s handsome face. “Kimber, what are you talking about?”
She knew she had to just let it out or she was never going to make it through telling him. “I had sex with Paul.”
Confusion entered his eyes. “Sierra’s Paul?”
Kimber almost made a face at the woman’s name, but she managed to keep her face a careful blank. Her tears had stopped, but she still felt like she had a lump so big in her throat that she would never be able to swallow past it.
“Yes, Sierra’s Paul.”
“I guess I don’t really have a lot to say since I slept with Sierra. But why are you telling me this now babe? You don’t need to worry about something like this when you’re pregnant. It was only one time wasn’t it?”
Kimber wondered how he could take the whole thing so casually. Sierra and Paul had left town. Luke claimed that he was the one that had broken it off with her, but Kimber sometimes wondered if he still thought of her, if she would always be the one that he would rather be with. It felt like some kind of punishment to think that her husband had asked another woman to marry him before her and had carried a torch for her for years since their relationship had been left feeling unfinished.
“Luke, it kinda bugs me that you’re taking this so casually. I certainly didn’t feel one bit casual when I found out you were sleeping with her. It felt like someone tore my heart out and spit on it. To know that I was always your second choice, to think that if she would have said yes to you when you proposed I would never have met you and we wouldn’t have Alexis, gives me these feelings I can’t describe.”
Luke kissed her, slowly and gently. “How could the most beautiful woman in the world ever be my second choice? I screwed up babe and it kills me to think of how much I hurt you. But you were never my second choice. Sierra and I walked away from what we had. We were fools to think we had any right to try to bring something back alive that had died long before.”
“But it obviously hadn’t died Luke. You made love to her when she was pregnant with her husband’s child.”
Luke brushed her hair back from her face. “I made love to you right up until you had Alexis. Our love making was what sent you into labor remember?”
She knew that he was trying to tease her back into a good mood, but it was still bugging her that he seemed to want to sweep the whole thing under the rug. Not that she hadn’t wanted to do the same thing herself, and not that she obviously hadn’t for weeks now. But she doubted that he would feel the same way when she told him it could be Paul’s child she was carrying.
“This isn’t a joke Luke. I had sex with Paul. Without a condom.”
Luke sighed. “I don’t want to stir shit up, but I had sex with Sierra without a condom too. Not that it mattered because she was already pregnant.” He looked at her and awareness dawned on his face. “Kimber you’re telling me this because the child you’re carrying might not be mine aren’t you?”
Kimber couldn’t look at him anymore. The tears started to flow again. “Yes.”
“And you’ve waited this long to tell me? Were you going to bother telling me at all?”
Kimber turned back to him. There was anger in his voice, but she was starting to feel it too. He wasn’t exactly innocent either she thought. “Would you ever have bothered to tell me that you had slept with Sierra if she hadn’t told Paul and he hadn’t told me? From what Paul told me, it didn’t sound like she would have told him unless he had walked in on her trying on the engagement ring that you bought her.”
“Paul is a damned idiot. He has a beautiful wife and he made her feel unattractive while she was pregnant with his child. I know how self-conscious you were about your body when you were pregnant with Alexis. But you were always beautiful to me and there was no way I would have ever let you think that I didn’t think you were sexy because you had a child inside of you. My child. Why would you have wanted to sleep with someone like that? From what Sierra said, it doesn’t sound like Paul likes sex.”
“You didn’t answer my question Luke. Would you have told me about her?”
“Eventually.”
Kimber snorted. “Eventually? When? When Alexis was eighteen and it no longer matter if I kicked you out of the house? I was pissed off when I found out you were fucking her, but you are a wonderful, devoted father Luke. There is no way that I would have kept you away from our daughter.”
“How in the hell was I supposed to know that Kimber? You think you know a woman and then she turns around and says or does something so off the wall that you wonder if you’re living in the same realm of reality as her. I love you. I cherish every moment I’ve had with you, good and bad. Our daughter is a gift from above, this perfect child that came from two people who are obviously nowhere near perfect. But to think that you were going to pass off another man’s child as mine, the feeling is absolutely indescribable.”
“So you would have let me think you were faithful just to make sure that you could be a father? That’s disgusting.”
Luke gave her a look that was full of pain and anger and betrayal. “What do you call it when you plan to pass another man’s child off as your husband’s? You know, you’re nowhere near the first woman that has done that though. And how many women have gotten away with it? If you fuck some guy that is similar in coloring and looks to you, or to your husband-damn you’re golden. Doesn’t matter who’s the real father of your baby. Let your husband think that the kid’s his. YOU’RE disgusting Kimber. I have to go.”
He took his wedding ring off and tossed it onto the night stand. “I don’t know if I’ll be back. If I’m gone too long, I’ll call you and we’ll talk about setting something up so that I can see Alexis.”
He turned to walk away.
“Luke, wait. I had sex with Paul once. The chances are still better that the baby belongs to you. I told you because I couldn’t stand the guilt anymore.”
Luke turned back to her. All expression was now gone from his face. “I realize that I probably don’t have a right to feel the way that I’m feeling right now because I started this whole thing. I admit that. I called Sierra. She may have been the one that made the first move when we made love, but I could have stopped it. Seeing her stirred up all these old feelings and she was so lost. I couldn’t let her think that she wasn’t beautiful because her husband’s a damned moron.”
“So that’s your excuse? You made love to her because you couldn’t let a pregnant woman think that she wasn’t beautiful?”
“Kimber that is such a stupid question. You make it sound like I go out and look for pregnant women that have idiots for husbands and boyfriends and have sex with them to make them feel better about themselves. That was hardly the case. Sierra was my first love. I never loved a woman the way that I loved her until I met you. When I met you, I knew that there was a reason that Sierra had turned me down when I proposed. And that reason was you. I knew that you were the woman that I was meant to be with. And now you stab me in the heart and stir up a bunch of shit that we were just really starting to get past. Don’t think that I didn’t notice you watching me for weeks after I came home to see if I was checking other women out. I don’t need another woman. You are my heart, my soul. You are beautiful and smart and kind and you are the world’
s best mother. How could I want to be with another woman when I have you?”
“You sure as hell wanted to be with Sierra. You didn’t say that you had sex with her. You said that you made love to her. You still love her.”
“So what if I do? It doesn’t mean that I would have ever been such an idiot that I would have gone to find her. I wouldn’t have broken up her family. She loves Paul. She just couldn’t stand the fact that he doesn’t like sex. It’s one thing when you’re a man and your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you. Married guys get comfortable. Sometimes they get fat and don’t think that they need to worry about pleasing their woman in the ways that they did before they got married. Men are idiots. If you choose to spend your life with a woman, you need to treat her right and make sure that she always knows she’s loved and cherished, especially in the bedroom. Sex should get better after marriage, because you’re supposed to be making a promise to spend the rest of your life with someone. But marriage doesn’t seem to mean ‘til death do us part anymore. It seems to mean ‘til divorce does us part. When you’re a woman, and your man doesn’t want to have sex with you, you think that you’re not good enough or that you’re not attractive. If your own husband doesn’t want you, why should you think that any man wants you? It’s different for women.”
“You’re making excuses for what you did. I had sex with Paul. That’s all it was.”
“I hope your sex was good enough that it was worth ruining two marriages over.”
Luke turned and walked out of the room. Kimber threw his pillow at the door. “Fuck you Luke. If you hadn’t been so hot to screw your ex-girlfriend in the first place, this would never have happened. I never thought about cheating on you before that.”
“If you had used a condom, or hadn’t ended up pregnant Kimber, it wouldn’t bug me so much. I know I fucked up. You saw how I took the news when you told me you had sex with him. It hurts, but I can’t say shit. This is different. You are pregnant and the child you’re carrying may not belong to me. This isn’t just our problem either. If this kid is Paul’s don’t you think he has a right to know too? I think you have a phone call to make.”
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 15
