When his impulsive nature took over and he chose not to save the money they had and didn’t try as hard to find a job, just picked up whatever day labor and odd jobs he could, Fuller was no longer Robyn’s dream lover. Once, he had been without a steady paycheck for three months, and they had made love exactly once in that three months. Robyn had been terribly disappointed. To her it had seemed that with Fuller’s normal sexual appetites, that making love might relieve some of the stress that he felt. But he’d turned down her advances every time and had once gotten very angry with her when she’d started to perform oral sex on him.
She’d told him over and over since they come to Brunton that she could go to work, but he’d refused and had not been thrilled that she’d continued working after she moved in with him in Staten. Fuller was old fashioned and believed that men should take care of their women and that women should stay home and keep up the house.
Robyn didn’t mind cooking and cleaning. She didn’t mind laundry or dishes, though Fuller had a bad habit of using more dishes than was necessary. He also had a bad habit of wearing his socks more than once, which she considered to be one of his most disgusting habits since his feet got very sweaty no matter what he did during the day. He was also terrible about remembering to take the trash out, even though he considered it to be a man’s job.
Robyn was craving a cigarette, but she knew that she shouldn’t have one. Her mother was a smoker and had smoked through her pregnancies with all of her children, but Robyn didn’t want to put her child at risk. She placed her hand protectively over her belly as she got up from the couch.
She stood at the window and watched for him to pull into the parking lot. He had started a new job and it was going well, but their rent was due soon and they were behind on the electricity bill and her cell phone bill. Her car had also been broken down for a while and they hadn’t been able to afford to get it out of the shop. She thought that if her car was running she might have gone looking for him at the bar. She was excited to tell him about the baby.
When the clock clicked over to midnight and there was still no sign of Fuller, Robyn sighed and retreated to the bedroom. She knew he had to work in the morning, so she hoped that he hadn’t gotten too drunk. He was an alcoholic so he didn’t usually suffer from hangovers, but sometimes he still felt less than perfect after a night of heavy drinking.
She snuggled into bed and hoped that her news would bring out the changes that she had been aching to see in Fuller for so long. Her father was an alcoholic and had lost the best job he’d ever had over it, but he still drank. Her mother still complained, though he said that she spent almost as much on cigarettes as he did on booze since she smoked a pack and a half of premium cigarettes a day and he drank a twelve pack of generic beer a day.
The marriage of her parents wasn’t something that she looked at that made her feel optimistic about marriage. She sometimes wondered if her parents hated each other they fought so much, but they had never spoken of divorce, even when the fights got really bad.
Robyn drifted off to sleep, trying to keep hope in her heart. Her marriage was going to be better, and Fuller was going to be a proud father. She just knew it she thought.
She awoke when she heard Fuller bump into something in the dark living room.
“Dammit Rob,” he called out. “I told you to leave the light on above the stove when I’m not home when you go to bed.”
Robyn sat up in bed and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after three in the morning. Since the bars closed at midnight on weekdays, and nothing in Brunton was very far away from anything else, she wondered where he had been. Probably drinking at the house of one of his friends she thought and hid a sigh.
“I’m sorry Fuller. Come here please. I need to tell you something.”
Fuller groaned and walked into the bedroom, rubbing his knee. “What in the hell is so damned important that it can’t wait until morning?”
His eyes were dark with anger and she knew that the fact that she had overlooked his request to leave the light on in the kitchen had greatly angered him. She didn’t think that he’d ever hit her, but she wouldn’t put it past him sometimes to punch a hole in a wall or break another defenseless inanimate object.
“It could I guess, but it might put you in a better mood. I’m sorry about the light.”
“I banged the shit out of my knee and I have to stand on my feet all day tomorrow like every other damned week day. Just tell me Robyn. I wanna pass the fuck out.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?”
The anger hadn’t left his eyes, and Robyn felt a stab of pain in her heart. She knew that Fuller said he wasn’t ready for children, but she’d been sure that he’d be happy.
“We’re having a baby.”
“You mean you’re having a baby. I don’t know who the father is. You’re always flirting with one guy or another. The maintenance guy around here sure seems to have the hots for you. Has he been giving it you while I’m slaving my ass off to take care of you?”
“No. I’ve never cheated on you Fuller. Even when we were hardly ever having sex.”
Fuller snorted. “If a man doesn’t want to have sex there’s a reason Robyn. And it didn’t mean that I was sticking my dick where it don’t belong like your silly ass thought when you were trying to be sly and spy on me. When I didn’t want to make love to you or go down on you or even let you go down on me, there was a damned good reason because you are a fine piece of woman and you give exceptional head. Who is the man that knocked you up? Tell me his name so I can go kick the shit out of him.”
“There is not another man Fuller. We’re getting married soon, why does it matter so much if I’m pregnant?”
“Because I ain’t ready to be stuck with a damned kid. And I sure as hell ain’t raising some other man’s child. Tell me who he is Robyn, or do you know which one of your lovers stuck you with a bastard?”
“Fuller, please calm down and listen to me. I have never even thought about cheating on you.”
“I shoulda known better than to think that I could turn a damned barmaid into a wife. A woman that looks like you do and works at some place trashy like a bar is not wife material. Tell me who in the fuck you’re having a kid with Robyn. Give me his phone number and his address ‘cause I’m gonna pay Daddy a little visit.”
“Fuller the baby is yours. I swear.”
“I am not an idiot. If you won’t tell me who he is, I’ll just take care of this problem for you.” He shoved his cell phone at her. “Call your parents, explain to them that you’re a slut and ask them to wire you the money to pay for an abortion.”
Robyn’s heart felt like a dead weight in her chest. “I will not abort our child. I want this baby, even if you don’t.”
“I hope your damned baby is worth losing the only decent man you’ll ever find over. Men like me don’t come around twice in a lifetime Robyn. I believe that a woman should be taken care of by her man. Where do you think that you’re going to find another man that will take care of you the way I have? You ain’t gonna find one. If you’re lucky maybe you’ll find yourself a fat slob that has money and will let you take care of your whiny little retard, but do you think you’re going to enjoy poking around the fat rolls to find his dick so that you can suck it? With the men I’ve seen you come on to, that kid is going to be a bona fide ‘special’ kid. Good luck you dumb slut.”
Fuller turned to walk out of the room. Robyn put a hand on his arm. He turned back to her and gave her a look that could kill. “Unless you’ve come to your senses and are going to tell me who baby daddy is so that I can beat the fuck out of him, and then call your parents to further rectify your little oops, you can take your hand the hell off of my arm.”
Robyn removed her hand and moved further back onto the bed. The look in his eyes made her wonder if he would hit her. “I’m so sorry Fuller. I love you, but I can’t abort this baby. That’s like murder.”
Fuller snor
ted. “Dumb bitch. Abortion is a cleanup process for sluts like you who don’t know how to keep their legs closed and can’t get enough dick. You wanna know why I didn’t touch you intimately once that whole three months?”
“Um.”
“I’m gonna tell you anyway. It was because you’re so damned nasty that you didn’t even bother to clean yourself after you were with another man. I shoulda kicked your ass to the curb then, but I am so stupid that I thought you’d change your ways if I taught you a little lesson.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do I have to spell this out for you Robyn? I’d tasted another man on my tongue. Why do you think I quit kissing you between your legs? I always make you come when I go down on you. Why do a job half assed? I know that when I want a blow job, I want a full on blow job. I want to shoot down your throat. Oral sex with you has always been good. You swallow and you know how to keep yourself clean down there-not like some nasty bitches. But that day, you didn’t clean up after another man left a deposit.”
“Fuller that is absolutely ridiculous. I have never been with another man since I was with you. I don’t even remember the day that you’re talking about.”
“I sure as hell do. I’m outta here. I’m tired of your lying and your slutty ways.”
“But the rent is due soon. You can’t leave when I’m pregnant with your child. I can’t get the rent money in time even if I do get a job. And the landlord won’t let me pay it late because we’ve been late so many times already.”
“You should have thought about that before you spread your legs for every Tom, Dick and Harry around. Get your boyfriends to help you out. You should have enough of them to collect the rent money.”
“Fuller, how can you say those things to me? I love you and I’ve never cheated on you. I thought you’d be happy that we were having a baby.”
“You were wrong. I told you over and over that I wasn’t ready to be stuck with a damned kid. You’re supposed to be on birth control.”
“I am on birth control. Nothing is 100% effective.”
“More lies. You probably haven’t been taking it. Have a nice life bitch. I hope you’re happy with the mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“It’s not a mess. I’ll raise our baby without you.”
Fuller had slapped her across the face before she’d had time to blink. She put her hand to her face and gave him a look that she hoped showed him how hurt and betrayed she was. Not that he looked like he cared she thought.
Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room
When she had heard the front door of the apartment open and shut, Robyn let her tears flow. She had no idea what in the hell she was going to do. She had no idea how she could have been so dumb as to end up with a man like her father. Her father had been accusing her mother of messing around for as long as Robyn could remember, though she was pretty sure that her mother never had. Not that she knew for sure of course, but she sincerely doubted that either her mother or her father had ever cheated.
They were both overweight and unkempt. She’d always thought that her mother might have been beautiful if she’d ever bothered to completely brush out her hair or maybe even smile every once in a while, or wear something besides the loose house dresses that she always wore when she wasn’t at work. Her father had been bald since she was a child and had bad teeth and wore stained and dirty clothes even though her mother always kept up with the wash.
Fuller was certainly more attractive than her father, but everything else seemed to fit. An angry alcoholic who was always convinced that his woman was messing around-even if the idea was ridiculous.
Robyn pulled the covers back over her and racked her brain for what she was going to do. She knew that she was going to go to the free clinic tomorrow that served the low income and the few homeless people that resided in Brunton. There was a shelter and she understood that it was well funded and a lot nicer than some shelters were, but she dreaded to think that she’d end up there.
She fell asleep shortly after she closed her eyes. She awoke early the next morning and sat up in bed. She thought she heard a noise in the living room and moved to the edge of the bedroom doorway, thinking that Fuller had come home and chosen to sleep on the couch. But the apartment was empty of anyone save her.
She sighed as she went back to the bathroom. There was still no nausea, but she didn’t think she’d miss morning sickness it if didn’t plague her. She used the toilet, washed her hands and her face and took a quick shower.
She dressed and headed towards the clinic, wishing that her car were running, but then she realized she wouldn’t have had gas money even if she had had her car. The walk was short and she signed in, and sat in the waiting room with the other walk in patients.
She was at the clinic most of the day, but they confirmed her pregnancy and gave her the names of several local doctors and the information to file for Medicaid. They advised her that she should be fast tracked and approved right away since she had no income, but Robyn was still worried about both herself and the child that she carried as she walked home with a heavy heart.
Fuller didn’t return home that night. She thought about calling him, but decided to let him cool off. She was sure that he would or at least she hoped so.
The next morning, her cell phone rang. Her heart beat fast, because it meant that Fuller had paid the bill.
She picked it up and said a breathless “Hello.”
“You got your rent money yet bitch?”
Robyn swallowed hard. “No.”
“Less than a week. You better start sucking dick soon. I felt sorry for you and turned your phone back on this month, but it’s on you next month.”
“Fuller can we please talk about this? Even if you don’t want to be with me, don’t you want to see the baby, be a father?”
“Hell no. Even if that thing that you carry does happen to be mine, I don’t want a damned thing to do with it. I know guys that have sidestepped child support and gotten away with it, so don’t expect another dime from me. I hope one of your other boyfriends will support you while you get all fat and nasty. It’s a sad thing to see a pregnant woman busting her fat ass for minimum wage. Pathetic really.”
“Our child is not a thing. If you don’t want to pay child support, I’ll do it all myself. But you can always see the child. I’m not the kind of woman that would keep you away from your child even if you’re not paying child support. I’m sure you’ll change your mind once the baby’s born.”
Fuller snorted. “Yeah right. And don’t you think that welfare and all that other crap you’re gonna have to get to raise that brat by yourself is gonna come looking for me?”
“I’ll only take the help if there’s no other way.”
“Uh huh. Have a nice life being tied down to a kid that’s probably gonna grow up to hate you like you hate your parents.”
“I don’t hate my parents.”
“You do. And I can see why. They’re disgusting fat slobs that don’t understand the importance of personal hygiene or housekeeping. I shoulda known better all around. Damn. But I looked into your pretty eyes and drank in the sight of your fantastic body and I was gone. Men should stop thinking with their cocks. It gets them into way too much trouble. It’s gonna suck trying to find a bitch that knows when to shut her mouth, gives head like you do, and keeps herself fresh and clean where it matters the most. Goodbye Robyn.”
Fuller hung up on her. Robyn shut her phone and sighed. She knew she had to start looking for a job. She got out of bed, and her first bout of morning sickness hit her. It hit hard. She lay on the cool tiles of the bathroom for fifteen minutes after she’d finished throwing up.
She washed her face and then took a long, hot shower. She returned to the bedroom and dressed carefully, wondering how easy it would be to get a job in such a small town. She’d heard that there were usually jobs as maids or at restaurants both fast food and sit down, but she’d had both jobs and didn�
�t much like either.
She walked downtown and applied at every place she could think of, but nothing looked too promising. Most either weren’t hiring at all or wanted someone only part time. She couldn’t pay the bills on a part time minimum wage job, let alone try to start buying things for the baby or to make payments to get her car out of the shop.
The waitress at one diner laughed when Robyn asked if they were hiring and said it was a family owned business. She’d ran it with her husband, her sister and her husband until earlier that year when her sister had gotten divorced and moved to Indiana with a much younger man. They were running it themselves now, but the waitress said that they very rarely hired any outside help.
She did feed Robyn for free and send her towards a local bar though. Robyn thanked the waitress, but didn’t plan on applying at the bar. She’d heard less than favorable things about both the owner and his wife, though she wasn’t sure she could point out either of them if she saw them.
But after another two days of looking for work with no real luck, Robyn was desperate and decided to give the bar a chance. She figured she could always keep looking for work and take another job down the line if it was necessary.
Chapter 2
Robyn stood looking at the neon lights of the sign above the entrance to the bar and wondered if she could really bring herself to go inside. She wouldn’t be here if Fuller hadn’t walked out on her she thought. She was there now not only because the waitress had mentioned it, but her neighbor had told her that not only was Gabe’s Place always hiring, they hired female bartenders more often than males and paid them more on top of it. Normally, the very thought would turn her off so much that she wouldn’t even think about getting a job there, but today she was desperate. She had to come up with the rent money quick or she’d be out on the streets.
She took a deep breath and opened the door to the bar, breathing in the scents of stale beer and popcorn. There was a good looking guy behind the bar, who turned and flashed her a smile. Her thought was that his smile had probably caused many a woman to fall right into bed with him. Hell, Robyn thought, she probably would have fallen into bed with him herself a couple years ago. Right now, she didn’t want anything to do with any man, thanks to Fuller, and certainly not one who hardly bothered to raise his eyes from her chest.
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 57
