“This is all so crazy.”
“Take everything with a grain of salt Robyn. I’m just telling you what I’ve heard. We don’t know that half of its true.”
“Yeah. But now that I think of it, the day I started at the bar there was this crazy girl that came up to me, or at least I thought she was crazy at the time, because she looked like a tweaker. She told me that I needed to stay away from Gabe, that he was crazy. That I shouldn’t believe anything he said. I didn’t believe her because he was so nice to me. Now I’m beginning to think I should have.”
“You’re probably talking about Angel. She worked there for a while after I started. She was clean by that time as far as I know, but she might have started using again. Was she skinny, with long curly hair, pretty but probably looks about ten years older than she really is?”
“Yeah.”
“Gabe charged her with trespassing because she tried to talk a few girls out of working there.”
“How many girls have worked there since you’ve been there Neal?”
“Besides you and Kasia, there was Angel, and a couple girls whose names I don’t remember because they didn’t last more than a couple days. Then there was Teresa who was there like a month and a half, Jazzy worked there for four months I think and Lynn, she was there about six months. She left right before you started. I think that’s it. No, there was Carisa. She was only there a couple weeks, though.”
“So, since you’ve been there somewhere around nine or ten girls have worked at Gabe’s Place?”
“Yeah.”
“How many men have worked there?”
“There’s a part time daytime bartender. You probably haven’t met him because he always leaves early. Then there’s Eric, who started a couple of months before you did. I think there was another guy that worked the day shift when I first started but he didn’t last long. Gabe covers the slack from when Art works and on the days when Eric works nights most of the time himself. Every once in a while his wife does it, but you don’t see that happen very often. She’s supposed to be real fond of flashing customers.”
“So twice as many women have worked there as men. His wife cheats on him. He obviously cheats on his wife, too. I can’t believe I actually believed him when he told me I was the only girl that had worked for him that he’d slept with. I’m going to ask Kasia tomorrow night if she’s sleeping with him.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Robyn. I think that the best thing you could probably do at this point is to pretend like everything’s normal with Gabe until you can find a way to let him down easy. Or break up with him because he won’t divorce Leslie.”
“I might have done that eventually anyway. Or at least I hope so. I always used to look down on women that seemed so content to be a man’s mistress. Well, I guess it’s not just women that do it. Men do it too, obviously. I can’t believe that I let myself become one of them. I’m so ashamed.”
“Don’t be. You’re human.”
“You’re human too, Neal. Have you forgiven yourself for what happened with Ashlyn?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to do that until I get her back.”
“I told Gabe that you told me. I begged him to hire an investigator to look for her. I’m sorry. I wanted to help.”
Neal sighed. “It’s okay. Maybe he will be able to find her. It seemed to me that when he offered it wasn’t about being helpful, it was about boosting his ego. I get along with Gabe okay most of the time because I try not to buy into all the shit that people say about him. But like him or not, you’ve got to admit that the guy’s got an ego the size of Texas. Then again, maybe it was my ego getting in the way when I told him that I didn’t want his help. I need a break Robyn. I feel like I need to go one night without thinking about all the crap in my life. It’s just so hard to do. It feels like I’m being disloyal to Ash if I even think about it.”
“I’m sure your daughter wouldn’t want you to be miserable Neal. Even if you love someone more than anything, sometimes it’s got to be okay to know that they can be okay without you.”
“It’s not that I don’t want her to be happy. I’m just afraid that she’s not. I didn’t want kids, but when I had her, it was like I was suddenly on another planet. A planet that revolved around everything that was Ashlyn. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that that’s a bad thing, or that it wasn’t the way it should be. I wasn’t someone that did a lot of partying or stuff that you can’t do with kids around anyway, so it wasn’t some huge transition like some people have to make when they become parents. It was like I had one plan for my life, and then this gorgeous little girl comes along and blows it all out of the water. It was okay, because my dreams changed to include my daughter. I always pictured being there when she went to kindergarten, when she had her first school play, when she learned how to ride a bike. I wasn’t a perfect parent, but I’ve never met one. I love my daughter and it feels very wrong for me not to be a part of her life. I wonder sometimes how much her being without me has changed the person she’ll become.”
Robyn reached out and squeezed his hand. “You are going to find her, and she is going to be fine. People are so strong. Sometimes they don’t know how strong they can be until they have to be, but every day is a new chance to begin again. Ashlyn is going to come home to you. It may not be tomorrow. It may not even be ten years from now, but she knows who her father is. She knows who loves her. Even if she was confused at first because I don’t think kids ever really understand being taken away from their parents, even if she’s still confused; there is going to come a point when she is going to realize that you didn’t leave her by choice. She is going to remember the times that you had together and she is going to see how much you loved her. It may not be easy. She may be angry with you, she may be so sad and hurt that you can hardly stand it, but there will come a time Neal. The time will come when you and your daughter will be together again. And the last thing she’s going to want to hear is that her father stopped living because he was without her. She’s going to want to hear about everything that you did; everything that you saw, that you experienced. You can’t let your daughter see some empty broken down shell that couldn’t take it without her, because then she’ll know that you’d already given up. It doesn’t make sense that someone is so important to you that you in essence give up hope that they could ever be a part of your life again. You’re failing both of you if you do that.”
When Neal looked at her, she could see that he was fighting tears. He blinked them back, cleared his throat and said “Thank you Robyn. You are a very special woman.”
She smiled. “I wish you would have told me that three months ago.”
“Me too.”
“Do you want to watch a movie? I’m tired of being so serious. I think I’ve got some popcorn. Or better yet, I’ve got ice cream with hot fudge and hot cocoa.”
Neal smiled. “I’ll help you.”
He followed her to the kitchen and they soon returned to the living room with their treats. Robyn offered Neal the choice of the comedy movies she had on DVD and then popped it into her DVD player.
Once the dishes from their snack were in the kitchen, Neal returned to the couch. He sat down closer to her than he had been before. Robyn hid a smile.
When the movie was over, Neal stood up and stretched. “I guess I’d better get home. It’s getting late and I should probably let you go to bed.”
“Would you mind staying with me tonight?”
“Um, sure. I can sleep on the couch.”
“You don’t have to sleep on the couch. And you can kiss me if you still want to.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I still want to.” Then he turned serious. “Are you sure Robyn? I’m afraid that if I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop myself from taking it further. You’re so beautiful and I’ve had such a good time with you tonight. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you into something that you don’t want.”
“You wouldn’t be
pressuring me. Kiss me and let it lead where it takes us naturally. If we end up making love, then it will be because it was meant to be.”
Neal’s kiss was hesitant at first. But when Robyn felt him relax and let go, he almost blew her away. He was suddenly all raw emotion. She felt almost overwhelming feelings of need, hunger, lust, loneliness and something deeper just with the touch of his lips to hers.
When he pulled away, his face flushed, she said “Wow.”
He grinned, but it faded quickly. “That was a good wow right?”
She laughed. “Yes Neal.”
She rose from the couch, trying not to think about the fact that she wouldn’t be able to get up so easily much longer, and held her hand out to him. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”
“Robyn, are you sure? I don’t want you to wake up in the morning and say wow, what the hell did I do?”
“Quit thinking so much Neal. I like you, you like me. I was going to eventually have to end it with Gabe anyway. It’ll just be sooner rather than later. Now c’mon. You don’t make a pregnant woman wait.”
Neal smiled. “I should know better huh?”
Robyn laughed. “Oh yes you should.”
Once they were in the bedroom, clothes were soon on the floor. Robyn felt a little strange since Gabe had made love to her such a short time ago, but she wanted Neal. She’d wanted Neal for so long. With him naked and in her bed and looking so glorious that she could hardly stand it, she didn’t think much of anything was going to stop her from having him.
He kissed her. His kiss was no longer hesitant, but it was still full of feeling. She loved the feel and the taste of his tongue in her mouth. She put her arms around him and pressed her body to his.
When they had moved past the foreplay stage Neal said “Robyn?”
“Yes?”
She was so turned on by then that she thought she would scream if he suddenly changed his mind. His erection was rather evident, but she knew that a guy like Neal didn’t always listen to his penis.
“I am in no way trying to be rude, and I meant it when I said that you don’t look pregnant, but you are pregnant. Tress was the only pregnant woman I’ve ever been with but when she was further along, it got really uncomfortable for her to do it in the missionary position. Of course she gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant and she was huge compared to you, but I don’t want to do anything that makes you even a little uncomfortable.”
Robyn kissed him. “You are so sweet Neal. It doesn’t bug me yet.” Her face flushed, thinking that she knew that for a fact because she had just been with another man.
Neal touched her face. “I’m sorry. I stick my foot in my mouth quite frequently. I definitely don’t want you to think of Gabe when I make love to you.”
“Gabe no longer exists.”
Neal smiled. “And I thought that I’d have to blow your mind when I made love to you for that to happen.”
“You’ve already blown my mind tonight Neal.”
She closed her eyes as he gently spread her legs, but opened them once he was inside of her. It felt so incredible. She had wondered what it would feel like for so long, and now that it was actually happening, she could hardly believe it.
He paused in his slow thrusts and smiled down at her. “Oh Robyn you feel so incredible. I knew that if I ever got the chance to be with you it would be a feeling like no other, but this is indescribable.”
She linked her fingers through his. “I feel the same way. You can move a little faster though. I won’t break.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Love me Neal.”
She kissed him, but pulled back soon after so that she could look into his eyes. He looked like he was on fire with passion but full of contentment at the same time. He reached his release quickly, but remained inside of her, bringing his hand down between them and stroking her womanhood until she reached orgasm.
He withdrew from her and moved to the other side of the bed, letting out a quiet sigh. “I feel like I could make love to you all night long.”
She smiled. “Don’t tease a pregnant woman.”
“Who said I was teasing darlin’?”
He brushed her hair back from her neck. He kissed her neck, trailing kisses down it and then following his kisses with the delicious flow of his tongue. It made her tingle, and made her believe that she wouldn’t mind spending whole days making love to Neal.
They showered together and then made love again. When Robyn fell asleep that night in Neal’s arm she felt a contentment that she hadn’t ever felt when she was in Gabe’s arms. Neal would be her man alone, and she would never mind sharing him with his daughter, because she hoped very much that Ashlyn would soon be where she belonged and that was with Neal.
Chapter 10
Robyn’s good feelings didn’t fade the next morning because when she woke up, Neal was still beside her. On the few nights that Gabe had been able to stay with her, he had always been gone by the time she woke up.
She got out of bed quietly and used the bathroom, washed her hands and face and brushed her teeth. When she looked at herself in the mirror she looked happy, and it was a happiness that was not burdened with the knowledge that it was a married man that was making her feel that way.
Neal smiled at her when she entered the bedroom. “Good morning beautiful. You are so beautiful Robyn. But you’re so nice too. After I was with Tress, I was afraid that all pretty girls were heartless bitches.”
Robyn laughed. “You know, Gabe told me something similar. But I guess that I should have listened to what Angel tried to tell me and taken everything that he ever said to me with a grain of salt.”
“I know that it hurts to think that you were fooled so easily, but what they say about love being blind is true. Love causes people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and that will never bring them the happiness that they deserve.”
“I think I always knew that Fuller never planned to marry me. I’m the only one of my siblings that is of age that isn’t married. Even my eighteen year old brother is married. He’s really happy. Some people might think it’s weird because she wasn’t pregnant and he’s good looking and was always popular in school, and his wife is a big girl and her parents were considered trash where we grew up. But he loves her because she’s smart and she’s kind and she really is beautiful on the outside if you look past the fact that she’s carrying some extra weight. If you met her before you met her parents you’d never believe that she was their child. I think that part of the reason that I wanted marriage and a family so badly is because I look at my older sister and my brothers and even my parents and see that they’re all married. My sister and my brothers all have good marriages. My parents fight a lot and sometimes I wonder if they’ve resigned themselves to the lives that they settled for and to being with each other forever, but I don’t think they’d really know what to do if they were apart. I always dreamed about growing up and getting married when I was little like I think a lot of little girls do, but I think I wanted it so much more because it was something that all of my siblings besides my little sister who is only sixteen had.”
“I can see that. I was an only child. I didn’t much enjoy it. I never wanted Ashlyn to be an only child, but as time when on, I also knew that I could never have another child with Tress and be able to live with myself.” Neal squeezed her hand. “I want to kiss you, but since it is morning, I have morning breath. I hope you have some mouthwash I can use.”
Robyn smiled. “I do. Our night together was so wonderful. And I feel like I can be happy about it without this weight pressing down on me, telling me that it’s wrong to want to be with the man that I want to be with.”
“I have a feeling that we could have something really special together Robyn. I was a fool for not telling you how I felt before.”
He squeezed her hand briefly and then headed to the bathroom. Once he was back in the bedroom, he kissed her. Robyn let herself get lost in the heady
sensation. She thought that being with Neal felt so right.
Robyn was aroused by the end of passionate joining of their mouths, but Neal gave her an apologetic look when she noticed the evidence of his erection. “I’m sorry Robyn. You probably think I have an endless sex drive. It’s just been so long for me that it’s going to be hard to control my hormones for a while.”
Robyn smiled. “What they say about pregnant women being easily aroused is true Neal, or at least it is in my case. I want us to have a real relationship, but I won’t mind if it involves a lot of love making.”
Neal grinned. “I think I can handle that too.” Then his smile faded. “With the way Gabe acts, I think that we should probably keep our relationship quiet. Not that anything in Brunton seems to stay quiet for long, but it should be at least a little easier since we live in the same apartment building.”
“I’m not sure how I’m going to break it off with Gabe. Do you think I should keep quiet with Kasia, or should I say something to her? I don’t want to bring up the stuff about the abortion since it might not be true, but maybe she knows how to get rid of Gabe without ruining their employer employee relationship. She’s said some things to me that lead me to believe that she knows that I’ve been sleeping with him anyway. Eric has too, but I’ve always known well enough to take everything HE says with a grain of salt.”
“I never would have thought that you were sleeping with Gabe until last night, but sometimes I think that I don’t see the things that everyone else seems to. If you want to bring it up to her, bring it up to her. But I’d be careful. Kasia is a good mother, and she’s not really the trashy slut that some people think she is, but I wonder sometimes how stable she is emotionally. She takes money from the father of her oldest son, and from what people say still sleeps with him. She claims to love the father of her daughter, but he treats her like crap and she sleeps with other men all the time when he’s not around. Her being with Gabe is not something that would be surprising. But with Gabe, a relationship is at the very least unique.”
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 67
