She lit a cigarette, turning her phone off before she shoved it back into her purse.
"So where were we? I'm working for Gabe, my Ray gets fired again. We're already pretty hot and heavy by then. Gabe likes sex. He likes it hard and fast and he likes it a lot. There wasn't a place in that bar that we didn't do somethin' nasty. All the booths, the desk in his office, the couch, the bathrooms, that fucker even convinced me to do it in the walk in cooler. I think the best was on top of the bar. It made me laugh to think of all the fat drunks sitting on their bar stools not knowin’ what me and Gabe had done the night before right there. This was about two, three months after I started there. I'm not great with dates and I was flyin’ high most of the time."
She paused then and a scowl crossed her pretty face. "He did it on purpose. I know he did. He knew my man wasn't working because I'd been bitching about it. Why else would the fucker send a bunch of roses to my house with some fancy necklace when I'm standing right there beside him in the bar? My Ray was a good man, a patient man. He knew I slipped up now and then but that was too much for him. He handed me the shit when I walked in the door, didn't say a word. I tried to go after him but he wouldn't listen. And that cock sucker was sitting across the street watching. I saw his fancy ass car pull away when Ray got into that piece of shit car of his. I was livid. I called his house and tried to tell that cunt wife of his what we'd been up to. But she just laughed at me. She told me she knew exactly what her husband was about and she liked it. I hung up on the bitch and went in the bedroom and smoked my whole stash. I didn't bother to go into work the next day. I wasn't going to deal with that asshole anymore. I'd told him that me and Ray were it. It's not like I never thought that before, but I was gonna go back to school, get a better job. Quit smoking meth and tone shit down so people don't think I'm a hoe just by lookin’ at me. It probably sounds real dumb for me to be tellin’ the guy I'm fucking around on my man with that my man's the one, but Gabe wants inside your head. He looks at you like he knows what's goin’ on in your brain. He wants to know every little thing about you and I'm not just talking about how you like it in bed. If you don't like what he's doin’ to you in the sack, he'll twist it until he makes you like it. He's got the biggest ego of anyone I've ever met. Besides that wife of his of course. He'd walk up behind me while I was working and put his hands down my pants. There'd be customers right there at the bar and he's nonchalant because he was always smart about it. He never did it when I wasn't working alone and he never did it when the idiot I was serving drinks to had half a brain. He'd be chatting up the sack of shit on the other side of the bar and I'd be trying to pretend like I was paying attention while he's fingering me. He had this habit of bringing me right to the edge and then pulling back, pretending like he was busy all of a sudden, making sure that I knew he was rock hard when he walked away. I hated myself. I've been with a lot of men, done a hell of a lot of shit that I'm not proud of, but Gabe has this way of making you feel like he's your lifeline. He was gonna get me away from the bar, put me up somewhere else, give me some cushy job at one of his other places, pay me some ridiculous amount. And of course he was going to divorce that cunt. But he didn't get it. I didn't want to marry him. I never wanted to marry him. Ray was the closest I ever got to even thinking about marriage at that point. Gabe was never anything but a fuck. A damn good fuck, don't get me wrong, and it was nice to be able to get money off him when I needed it. But that's all it ever was. I was his whore and you can't turn a whore into a wife. It just don't work that way. He knew it. I knew it. It was a week after Ray left when I went back to that place. He must have called me a thousand times. I hardly left my apartment because I knew if I did, he'd be there waiting. I'd look out my window, and no matter what time of the day it was he'd be sitting there. I'm surprised those kids know they have a father. I called the cops but those fucks just laughed at me too. Said that it was a public street and if Gabe wanted to park there he could. Asked me if he'd ever threatened me or done anything he shouldn't have. Now you can't exactly tell the police that your boss had his hand down your pants when you were supposed to be working can you? I told him I was quitting, that I wanted him to stay the fuck away from me, that I'd rather work at the lounge or the titty bar up in South than for him. He laughed at me and threw a bunch of cash at me. It was twice what my normal check was and I'd only worked three days but I didn't care. Couple days before he was sending my flowers, telling me that he wanted me to marry him, wanted me to have his babies. Then he's laughing at me and treating me like a piece of shit. I knew why when I walked out of the office. She was behind the bar. Young, pretty and stupid. Gabe had ruined the best chance that I'd had to settle down with a man, and change my ways and he'd already moved on. I was last week's news. But don't get me wrong, Ami. The only way you're gonna get rid of Gabe is when he decides he's done with you. When he's done you go back to being another piece of trash like the rest of the girls he's tossed on the side of the road. But until then, you're his. Don't matter if you tell him no, if you try to stay away from him. He'll fuck up your life until you need him. Spread lies until you can't get a job anywhere else. Tell your man what color your panties were that day and what you sound like when you come, even if you ain't been with him in weeks. I don't know how he does it, but he knows. He always knows."
Angela sighed and sat back in the chair, bringing her knees up and resting her chin on them. She suddenly looked very young and Ami wondered how old she really was. She smiled then, sitting back up and reaching for a cigarette. "Have I scared the crap out of you yet?"
She certainly had Ami thought. Gabe sounded much worse than she'd ever thought possible. Nick looked tense, like he was ready to spring up from the couch and go out and hunt Gabe down. She wanted to reach out and touch him because she knew it would bring them both comfort, but she didn't.
"You did."
She reached for a cigarette. Nick's hand brushed hers as he put his cigarette out.
The room was thick with smoke and she was glad the window was still open even if it was getting a little chilly.
"Don't get me wrong, honey. That's not what I meant to do." She shook her head. "Wait, I take that back. That's exactly what you need to be. You need to be scared because when you're scared, you're careful. And you need to be careful around Gabe. Let me give you some advice girl. You can take it or leave it. It probably don't mean much from a woman that looks like a stripper. Okay, I'll admit it. Right now Angel is a stripper. That's why your neighbor looks familiar Nicky. I think he's been at the club a couple times. They still got your name at the door by the way. You can get in any night without paying their ridiculous cover charge."
Nick wouldn't meet her eyes. She went on. "Anyway. My advice to you girl and take it with a grain of salt if you want since you're hearing it from a twenty-five year old stripper who looks thirty-five, but take it all the same. I'm begging you girl."
"Did you ever tell anyone about what Gabe did to you?"
Angela laughed. "I tried at first. I talked that twink's ear off that he replaced me with but she didn't wanna hear it. Tried a few more times because ain't no woman, slut or not, deserve the shit that that man can put you through-but they don't wanna listen. When you're as down as these chicks are and a man like Gabe looks like the only light at the end of whatever tunnel you're trapped in, you just ain't gonna listen."
Angela squinted her eyes at Ami, and she had the feeling the woman was trying to figure her out again. "You look too clean cut for him. I'm willing to bet you ain't smoked nothing worse than a joint and you ain't a shooter. No matter how well you hide it, I can tell a shooter by looking at you. The thought never crossed your mind. Either his tastes are changing or you got something else that he wants."
"I smoked weed once in high school, but it didn't do anything for me." Angela laughed but then her face got serious again when Ami said "What else could he possibly want from me?"
Angela shook her head, exchanging a look with Nick. "Honey, I don't kn
ow. Which is why you need to be even more careful. Maybe he has finally decided that he wants to trade his wife in for a younger model. I don't know. Don't wanna know what the fuck goes on in that man's mind. But the last thing you want to be is Gabe's wife. Do not listen to any thing that man tells you. Lies roll off of his tongue like facts to everyone else. I think he's actually got himself convinced that his kids aren't his."
She made a face. "It's not true. His wife may take a man other than him to bed every once in a while, but she's not stupid. What's scary is he's almost delusional about it. He'll tell you he loves his kids, he's got their names on his back and the most beautiful picture of them from when they were smaller on the back of his leg, but it's no truer than anything else. I'd been working at the bar about two weeks when his wife and kids went to visit her parents. So he invites me over to their house. They've got a beautiful house, huge. Pool in the backyard, tree house, all kinds of playground equipment. He wants to do it in their bed. I was kind of iffy about it because yeah, I'm doin’ the chick's husband but I don't usually stoop so low as to do it in her bed ya know. But Gabe was insistent. He said that they've got some kind of weird kinky thing goin’ on where if they screw around at home they gotta do it in their bed. Maybe they do-hell if I know. They're both looped. So anyway, I'm naked on the bed, high as a kite, waiting for Gabe. I notice these papers on the chair by the bed. I'm not trying to be snoopy but there's this big red slash across the page. He's still in the shower so I figure what the fuck. I pick them up and the writing, it looked like lipstick, said 'told you so motherfucker'. At first I thought they'd had some kind of stupid bet or something but I look closer and I see that they're DNA tests. On both of his kids. Proof right there that both of those babies are his, but he'll still claim that they're not. It's downright sick. He'll come off and tell you that they're not his and that he loves them anyway when I've seen with my own eyes that they are. I felt bad for those kids, I still do sitting up there in that big house with those twisted fucks for parents. Thought about callin’ CPS on them but I didn't have nothing to tell really and they wouldn't listen to some bitch that works in a bar, telling on her boss when she's fucking him. They don't play with rich fucks anyway. Besides, those kids are probably better off with those two than in a foster home. Been there myself and they yanked my baby boy from me right out of the hospital, never laid eyes on his sweet face again. Course I was high when I had him. It kills me Nicky. Thinking of my baby boy. He's almost four now, got a birthday coming up. I was so good the whole time. I quit as soon as I found out but I was cravin’ it bad. My piece of shit boyfriend didn't help doin’ it right in front of me all the time. How the fuck was I supposed to know I was going to go into labor two hours after I fucked up? I tried to go it alone because I knew they were gonna know, that they were gonna take him from. But my old man wasn't home and I hurt so bad. The contractions felt like they were ripping me apart. The chick next door heard me crying and called an ambulance. Course she thought Randy was beatin’ me, but he didn't lay his hands on me when I was pregnant. Before, yeah. After yeah."
Angela sighed.
She looked broken. Then she brightened and Ami thought that she looked more like the twenty-five years old that she was. "I'm gonna play it straight Nicky. My new man has a two year old daughter and I gotta make it better for her."
"That's great Angel." Nick said.
"Her mama ain't around so I gotta be the best I can be. She looks up at me with those big brown eyes of hers and I wanna give her the whole world. I can't make it up to my boy but I can damned sure make it up to Sissy. That's kind of a funny name, huh? Sissy."
She shrugged then and her eyes were back on Ami. "Just a couple more pieces of advice Ami. You look tired. You should take her to bed Nick." She winked at him and he blushed. "If you ain't got a man, you get one." She looked meaningfully at Nick and he looked away, the color not having completely left his cheeks. "A man with balls. Not some sissy mother fucker that will walk away when the going gets rough. Not some fuck like Tandra's old man that took a beating and walked away. You remember Tandra don't you Nick?" He nodded and Angela smiled. "Hell, I think every man in town remembers old Tandy panties. Then again you were always too much of a man to take sloppy seconds, huh Nick? She works with me now, been there ‘bout a month. She's got her shit halfway together though. Got a good man, though he's old enough to be her Daddy. Least he takes care of her. Anyway, Gabe will give you more space if you've got a man. He won't back off completely when he still wants what's between your legs, but he'll give you a little bit of breathing space. If you ain't got a man, he won't let up. He'll worm his way in until you ain't got no friends and no other man wants you. He'll spread rumors about you himself if it gets him what he wants. Sweet talk in your ear when your legs are spread or when you got your hand on his dick. But when your back is turned he'll be telling everyone who will listen that you've got AIDS. Or that your Daddy molested you, or you're a dyke. You don't give him what he wants and you'll hear things around town about yourself that you wouldn't believe. Shit, you give him too much of what he wants and it's almost worse. If he thinks you're needy or that you're pressuring him too much, he'll go off on you. Tell you what a piece of shit you are, how no one else could ever want you. He'll make you believe it too. Tread very carefully around Gabe. That fucker is crazy. And Ami.”
Ami looked up at her, afraid of what the other woman was going to say. Nick took her hand and didn't drop it even when Angela gave him a knowing smile. "Yes?"
"Do not sleep with him again. Do not let him lay a hand on you. I don't care if you're a straight arrow, don't touch drugs; don't drink. He will use what he can to get to you. He will find something to hold over your head. If sex is the only thing he can find, he'll take it. You may think you're disgusted at the very thought of sleeping with him, but he will make you want him. That's why you need a good man beside you."
She looked at Nick again, and he squeezed her hand and dropped it. "If Nick here won't step up to bat, then you find someone that will. And quick." Nick made a face but didn't take her hand again. "Shouldn't be too hard for you. Hey Nicky, what about Carson? Is he single? I'm sure he'd be more than willing to take this one off of your hands."
Nick gave her a tight smile. "Carson is getting married on Sunday."
"Damn. I didn't think I'd see that one until hell froze over, all the trouble he had with Jenny."
"She's a very nice girl. Have you met Alicia? She's tall, blonde, gray eyes, very pretty. Six months pregnant."
"May have seen her around town a time or two. When did he have time to get a girl pregnant? Last I knew he was still chasing after what the hell is her name?"
"Ironically enough, her name was Jenny too. Alicia's baby isn't Carson's. Until he adopts her at least. Carson and Ali are kind of a long story. Just like Ami and I."
"Nicky, there ain't no story too long that it will keep Gabe away. I can see that you care about the girl. I can see that she is fighting not to touch you right now. So what the fuck's the problem Nick? Someone's got to protect her."
"I am protecting her. That's why you're here."
"Nobody asked you to put a ring on her finger. Damn it Nick." She looked very upset and then her face suddenly cleared. She lit another cigarette. "Ah, what the hell do I know about relationships besides fucking them up?"
She took a deep drag and then looked at Nick again, her eyes completely serious. “You handle your relationship with this girl how you want to darlin' but you gotta be man enough to step aside if another man does choose to step up. I know you Nicky. I know what's going on in your head. You are fighting your need to be a gentleman, to take it slow until she’s ready to give you exactly what you want. I can tell a romantic two seconds after I look at him and when you looked at this one here, you saw stars. You imagined her in bed; then about thirty seconds later, you imagined her with your ring on her finger, another thirty seconds after that you imagined her with her belly all big and your baby inside."
"I'm not going to discuss this with you Angel," Nick said.
Angela sighed. "Okay. Angel will shut the fuck up and take her leave then. I gotta be getting home anyway. Sissy likes me to read her her story before bed. She calls me Miss Angie. Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever heard?"
Nick smiled. "Pretty close. Good luck Angel. Let me walk you to your car."
Angela smiled. Ami thought that the smile that lit up her face made her look like a different person. "I don't need luck this time Nicky. Manny's the real one. I can feel it. Is it wrong to want his baby to call me Mom?"
"I guess it depends on a lot of things. I'll be right back Ami. Please wait for me."
She nodded and Angela turned back to her. "You make sure Nick gives you my number honey. I'd give it to you myself but I can never remember the damn thing. Take care of yourself girl. Promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise," Ami said.
She watched them walk out the door and then sat back on the couch. Why was Nick so stubborn about being with her she wondered? You didn't go into every relationship thinking that the person was the one you were going to be with the rest of your life. Well, maybe some people did but she had a feeling that if Nick gave in, that if they slept together to release some of the tension that was almost alive between them, that things would take their natural course. Like Angel had said, she might not be ready to follow him to the altar in six months, but she didn't think she'd be ready to run away from him either.
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 84
