She nodded, looking at her fingernails, wanting to reach out and take Tony's hand for some small measure of comfort in this house of hell. But he was plastered to the other end of the couch. She wondered again if Langston had made some sort of threat when they'd been upstairs. What could it have been that made him afraid to brush against her she wondered? She could understand a warning about sex, but she might as well have a contagious disease with the way Tony was acting.
"Lindsey, where are you with those drinks?" Langston called irritably toward the kitchen. "Do you want a scotch Anthony? You look like you're of legal age son; am I right?"
"Uh yes, si. . . I mean Langston. I am twenty-one. But water is fine for me as well."
"Nonsense." He got up from his chair. "Damn it Lindsey, would you hurry up? We're getting thirsty."
She appeared a minute later and shoved a glass into his hand. "There you are dear. I'm sorry I wasn't faster. I'm not used to acting like a maid."
She dropped back down onto the couch and gulped half of her drink down, scowling at Langston.
"Where's Tory's water and Anthony's drink Lindsey?"
"Again I am not a maid." Her blue eyes were full of fire.
"I'll get them." Langston glared at Lindsey as he left the room.
"Will you two excuse me for a moment?" Tony said, getting up. "I need to make a phone call."
Lindsey waved him off. Tory gave him a pained smile, half afraid that he was going to sneak out to the car and drive away. As he went up the stairs to get his phone Langston returned, handing Tory a bottle of water and sitting Tony's drink on a coaster on the glass coffee table.
"Where did Anthony go?"
"He had to call his aunt. Let her know we got here in one piece." Tory gave Langston a tight smile.
"Ah, family obligations." He nodded.
As if he knew anything about family she thought. He was an only child, the son of two only children who had died when he was in his early twenties, leaving him with enough money to live more than comfortably for the rest of his life.
She wanted so badly for this trip to be over she thought. She wanted a cigarette so bad that she could see herself grabbing the newly lit cigarette from Lindsey's hand and taking a satisfied drag. Everything Lindsey and Langston did or said was bugging the hell out of her. She wanted to tell them both to go to hell. That she'd never be happy until she was old enough to never have to see either of them again. How she hated both of them.
Luckily Tony returned then and sat close enough to her on the couch that she could reach out and take his hand. He squeezed her hand. All she wanted to do was crawl up into his lap like she was a little girl and make him protect her from her evil mother and stepfather.
"So you're twenty-one Anthony?" Langston said. "An older man for our little girl here huh?" Tony almost dropped her hand then, but held on when Langston laughed. "It's not a problem son. I'm six years older than Lindsey, so there’s not much I can say then is there?" He winked.
Oh she wanted to scream Tory thought. Him with his stupid winking and Lindsey with her chain smoking and sullen sipping at her drink. They'd probably been sitting around all day, getting drunk on expensive liquor.
There were no decorations in the house like usual, and nothing in the house that would ever make you believe that it was Christmas. No corny songs on the radio or Christmas specials on the TV, which was on mute on the other side of the room, turned on to some news channel. Even Tony's house was more festive she thought, with his sad little fiber optic Christmas tree with the bent branches.
She fingered the locket around her neck, and wondered what it would be like to have a real Christmas again. With a real dinner, a tree, and presents and family. Why couldn't they be back with Tony's family she thought? Lorelei had made her feel more cared for in the half an hour she'd been around her than Lindsey ever had.
"Will you go check dinner dear?" Langston said, turning to Lindsey.
"The timer is set to go off when it's done. I can read Langston, remember?"
"Will you two excuse us for a moment?" Langston said, coming up out of his chair and practically dragging Lindsey with him to the kitchen.
Through the closed door, they could hear loud voices arguing. Tory couldn't make out what they were saying but she didn't care. She was so humiliated she couldn't stand it. "I'm so sorry Tony."
"Everybody's got problems. It's okay baby."
"No, it's not. I hate them both."
"Tor. Don’t say that. I'm sure things will calm down. I think they're both a little tipsy. I'm sure things will get better when they both sober up."
"It's not like either of them will stay sober long," she said under her breath as Langston led Lindsey back into the room.
"We owe you kids an apology," Langston said as he deposited a stone faced Lindsey onto the couch. "I've got a really important presentation coming up which could pretty much make or break the business. Things have been a little tense around here lately. Tory would you mind setting the table and getting the salad out of the fridge? Dinner should be ready in a few minutes."
"I'll help you Tor," Tony said, helping her to her feet.
Tory could feel Lindsey's eyes on her back as Tony took her hand and walked with her to the kitchen. And if looks could kill she thought. Did it bother her that her daughter was with someone that she cared about when there was trouble brewing between her and Langston?
She pulled plates and silverware out of the cabinet and drawer, marveling that she knew where anything was when this place had never felt like home. She turned towards Tony, not knowing what to say. He shook his head and took the dishes from her, carrying them to the dining room.
She dug around in the spotless refrigerator and finally came up with a tightly wrapped salad. She carried the bowl out to the dining room and placed it on the table. She heard the timer ding in the kitchen and returned to remove the casserole from the oven, feeling a bit like a maid herself, though it was just the house, the atmosphere; she thought.
She never would have felt like a maid when she was helping out with dinner at her grandparent's house, had always liked helping her grandmother in the kitchen. But this spotless kitchen with its state of the art appliances was miles away from the cozy kitchen of her grandmother.
Sighing as she carried the dish into the dining room, protected by pot holders, she placed it in the middle of the table. Even the dining room table was too big she thought, as if ten people lived in the house instead of two.
"Dinner's ready," she called.
Not that she was in the mood to eat. Her stomach was still tied in knots from the stress of being in the same house as her mother and stepfather. She'd really much rather crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head. Even her bedroom offended her, though. Lindsey had had it decorated in what she thought was a perfect feminine style, with lots of pink and lavender.
Tory hated the whole damn thing, from the frilly curtains on the windows to the stupid bed skirt that she was always managing to trip over.
Lindsey and Langston walked in, having both stopped to refill their drinks on the way by.
There was silence at the table at first, but after Tory had finished her small plate of salad, and was staring disdainfully at the casserole, of which she still had entirely no appetite for, Langston returned to the table, having refilled his drink yet again and said "I'm afraid Lindsey and I have a prior engagement this evening. We would have tried to get out of it, but it's a rather important meeting with a prospective client. I hope you two don't mind."
Did she mind she thought? She was ecstatic to not have to spend the evening with those two.
Feeling Langston's eyes on her, she looked up. "No, of course not. I think we can find something to do."
"I'm sure you will." He gave her a tight smile. "You'll remember what we spoke about earlier Anthony?"
"Oh yes, of course sir."
"If you'll excuse us, we must get ready to go out. You don't mind clearing the table do you Tory?"
; Right now she'd clean the house from top to bottom if they'd just get the hell out of her sight she thought.
Once her mother and stepfather were out of earshot, Tory turned to Tony. "If we're really lucky they'll have something to do for the next couple nights, too."
"On Christmas?"
"Look at this place. Do you see a Christmas tree? Do you see a stack of presents or anything at all that would lead you to believe that anyone in this house gives a flying fuck about something as petty as Christmas? I don't know when the last time was that my mother bothered to pretend that it mattered. She didn't bother when I was a kid, so why in the hell would she bother now? I would not give a shit if her and her husband of the moment were gone. I would prefer it if I had the peace and quiet that only exists in this house of horrors when Lindsey and Langston aren't here."
Tony sighed. "I can understand by being here for this long that this certainly isn't your typical household, but was your childhood really that bad?"
"Tony." She heard the front door open and close. They hadn't bothered to say 'goodbye' she thought. "I know that it might be a little hard to understand even with the way things are with your parents now, your Dad being dead and your mom being in a mental hospital. I'm certainly not saying that I had the worst childhood ever, but. . . “
She let out a sigh as she put the last of the leftovers into the fridge and placed the dishes next to the sink, so she could rinse them before she put them in the dishwasher.
"I don't know how to explain this to you. When you were growing up you had your dad there, taking you fishing and taking you to look at Christmas lights. You probably had birthday parties and went trick or treating. If your parents weren't around to do something with you, you had your aunt and uncle. I never had that. My mother has been married four times. I can't remember my first stepfather's name he was such a huge influence on my life. My mother forgot my birthday I don't know how many times when I was growing up. She always pawned me off on someone else when it came to trick or treating. The only childhood I really had was the time that I spent with my grandparents. And those times were way too few and far between. When I was there, when my dad was around; those were the glimpses I had of an actual childhood. And messed up as it may seem my dad made me feel loved and wanted more when he was around than my mother ever has. That's a pretty messed up feeling, thinking that the parent that gives a shit about you is too much of a coward to fight for you. He's always full of excuses about why he never bothered to try for custody and now it's too damn late to matter. So yeah, I would be a lot happier if my mother and stepfather would do whatever the hell it is that rich people without kids do on Christmas and leave me the hell alone."
"Ah sweetie.” He started to take her into his arms but then pulled back.
"What?"
"C'mon, let's go outside and have a cigarette."
"Have you not seen my mother the chimney? It would hardly matter if we had a cigarette in the house. Though Lindsey, the hypocrite she is would probably have a shit fit if she caught me."
"So let's go outside then. Do you have a backyard?"
"There's a pool out back. I suppose we can go out there."
She led him to the back door which led outside. Once they were outside he handed her a cigarette, lighting it for her, and then lit one of his own.
"Are you gonna tell me now why you're afraid to touch me all of a sudden?"
"Ah, that. I guess it's sort of a respect thing."
She took a deep drag of the cigarette. "I would believe you except I think you're taking it a little far. You were so far away from me on the couch that I could have sworn that Langston told you that I have the plague. So I don't buy it Tony. What did Langston say to you when you two were upstairs?"
He sighed. "I'd really rather not tell you what he said."
"Whatever that rich asshole said to you doesn't matter Tony. It's not like you're ever going to see him again after this torture is over."
"Would it hurt to have a little respect for your mom and stepdad while we're here?"
"Sure Tony." She stomped out the cigarette underneath her foot and held out her hand for another. He handed her another cigarette without comment; waiting for her to go on. "Like Lindsey respects me. She always gave me crap about the things I liked when I was a kid. She forbid me to read books outside of school at one point. She couldn't stand the fact that I was nothing like her so she decided to take away the only thing that gave me pleasure. And look at Langston. We're here five minutes and he says something to you that makes you not want to touch me. Then he thinks that just because we’re under his roof he can call you Anthony because he thinks it sounds better. I know you hate being called Anthony."
"It doesn't really bother me that much Tor. I give my aunt crap when she calls me Anthony because it reminds me of when I was a kid and the only time anybody called me Anthony was when I was in trouble."
"Just because someone is at your house doesn't mean that you can say and do whatever you want to them. Quit dancing around the subject and tell me what the hell it was that he said to you."
"I'm sure he didn't mean it. I think it was one of those macho Dad kind of things that guys say when their daughter brings home a guy."
"Langston is not my father. I told my dad that I was with you and that you were twenty-one and he was fine with it. I'm four months away from being eighteen. I sure as shit don't plan on coming back here between now and then. I hardly believe that whatever it was that Langston said to you had a damn thing to do with fatherly concern. I can't believe I said that word when it was associated with Langston."
"I could sort of see myself saying something like that if I had a daughter. He doesn't even know I'm a drug dealer."
"Just because you're a drug dealer doesn't mean you're a bad person. And you did it again. Just tell me what he said."
He sighed, and then looking embarrassed, which was something she thought she'd never see him look, said "He told me that he'd chop my penis off if he caught me with so much as my tongue in your mouth."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Unfortunately not."
"Who the hell does he think he is? I don't give a shit if he's fitting the bill for a school that I never wanted to go to. I don't give a shit if he's married to my mother. He had absolutely no right to say something like that to you. That man had never said a kind word to me, has never given me a hug or told me he loved me or even acknowledged the fact that I existed. You know what we're gonna do Tony? We're gonna go upstairs and we're gonna screw on their bed."
"No Tory. We're not."
"Damn it Tony. You don't need to take that shit from him. He has no right to treat you like that. Let's go stay at a motel. They'll never notice we're gone."
"We can't Tor. That would be messed up."
"And you don't think what he's doing is messed up? Are you going to take this shit from that asshole? You don't take shit from anyone."
"He's your stepdad. Don't you think that I should respect his wishes while we're under his roof?"
“I bet the only reason he told you that is because he's not getting laid."
"C'mon Tor. We just had sex. It's not like it's going to kill either of us if we go without it for three days."
"That's not the point. Just because you don't think it's cool to have sex under his roof doesn't mean that you have to be afraid to touch me. That pisses me off. Everything was going so well. We finally got everything worked out so that we can be together; be happy without all the bullshit. We get here and the first thing that Langston does is create more bullshit. I'm not going to take this. I'm not twelve years old. If I want to hold your hand; if I want to kiss you, then I'm going to. What's the worst they can do Tony? Kick us out? Right now there's nothing that would make me happier."
"Will you please play nice Tor?"
"Play nice? Are you kidding me? I've kept my mouth shut for seventeen years. I got into it with my dad. The messed up thing about that is it's all because of her. It's all
because of Lindsey that I had a miserable childhood. It's like I was some kind of doll that she didn't want but couldn't stand the thought of someone else having."
"I'm sure your mom loves you.”
"You can tell how happy she was to see me. Your aunt showed more interest in me in five minutes than she has in seventeen years."
"Aunt Lori's special. She makes everyone feel that way. Some people have a harder time showing their feelings. I'm sure that's the problem with your mom."
"Sure Tony. First I had to listen to my father making excuses for her, defending her, now I have to listen to you. Fuck."
"I don't want to fight Tor." He pulled her into his arms. "Let's go inside. It's cold out here."
"And do what Tony? Fuck fuck fuck." She was suddenly so angry she wanted to scream. "I just want to go to bed Tony. Will you hold me until I fall asleep?"
"Tor, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Damn it. I'm not asking you to screw me. I'm asking you to put your arms around me in my bed, fully clothed. I'm so upset right now I doubt it'll take me long to fall asleep. They call it a defense mechanism Tony. I'm very familiar with the concept. When I was a kid, if I wasn't reading, I was sleeping, shutting out reality. Those two probably won't be back for hours. They'll come crawling in after midnight, drunk as hell and pass out. So you'll be safe. You can slink safely back to your assigned room long before Lindsey and Langston get home."
"I love you Tory." He took her hand. "I hate to see you so miserable."
She sighed. "And you wonder why I was so excited to come back here."
"It's just a few days baby. Keep thinking about good things. Think about what we're gonna do when we get back home." He tried to give her his usual cocky grin but didn’t fully pull it off.
He looked pale. Tory put a hand on his forehead, giving him a concerned look. "Are you okay Tony? Don't tell me you're getting sick. Then I'll be stuck hanging out with Lindsey and Langston all by myself for three days. Ugh."
"It just hit me that I really wanna get high. I'll get over it baby."
"Are you sure? Do you wanna go to the hospital? I don't know what they'd do for you, but at least we wouldn't be here."
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 117
