"Hmm, maybe I can meet her someday, this wonderful girl.”
"Nah, I don't think you'd like her.” He led her back to the bed.
"Tony.” She reached out and smacked his bare butt.
"Kiddin' darlin’.” He gave her a cocky grin and then pressed her gently back onto the bed.
She had closed her eyes like usual, not because she was thinking about someone else but because it made her feel weird to keep her eyes open. He stopped in mid thrust a few minutes later, prodding her mouth open with his tongue, then pulled back and said "Open your eyes baby, I want you to see what you do to me."
"You just don't want me thinking about someone else," she teased, but she opened her eyes, looking up into his wide hazel eyes.
"No darlin’, I want to see in your eyes what I do to you too."
She complied, watching the change in his eyes from when he first started moving above her again; the hunger, the lust that turned into ecstasy and satisfaction when he was about to come.
He cried out "God Tory, I love you," when he came. She could see the change then too.
The hot fire of passion had dimmed but he still had a look in his eyes like she was the only woman in the world. She had come close to orgasm twice but had never quite made it there. It wasn't that it really embarrassed her to have him look at her, she figured he probably kept his eyes open a lot, watching her while her eyes were clamped shut. It was that it touched her in a different way watching him.
It inexplicably made her want to cry watching him go from the wants and bodily needs of passion to the comfort and satisfaction of being with someone you love as his movements slowed above her. It had turned her on at first, watching the fire in his eyes. That's what had almost pushed her over the edge and into the sweet, heady rush of orgasm. But when it had changed into the pleasure and satisfaction of being with HER and not just getting off, that's what had made her want to blubber like a baby.
She could see it in his eyes that he loved her. That he hadn't been lying when he told her that he'd go two months without sex to be with her. He gave her a questioning glance when she unlocked her legs from around him when he had finished. Damn, he could tell when she didn't have an orgasm and he cared she thought. It only made her want to cry more.
She shook her head at him and he moved off of her, dropping back onto his side of the bed and reaching for a cigarette. He handed her one, lighting it for her. She almost choked on her first drag, there was such a big lump in her throat. She put it out and then got up off of the bed and went to the bathroom.
She sat down on the toilet and couldn't stop the tears. She was sobbing so hard she could hardly breathe when the door burst open.
He got down on his knees in front of her. "Baby, what's wrong? Was it that bad? I didn't mean to embarrass you."
She shook her head, blowing her nose on a wad of toilet paper she'd pulled off of the roll next to her.
"Oh, I am such an idiot. I didn't hurt you did I?"
"Don't you dare think that Tony." She looked away from him. "You've never been anything but thoughtful and caring with me. Are you forgetting the times I had to tell you when we first got together to stop treating me like some delicate flower that was going to break if you moved too fast? And I didn't get it then. You never wanted to screw me, not even the first time. You've always wanted to make love to me. I could see it in your eyes. Even the dirtiest, kinkiest sex with me would never be just sex to you. That touched me Tony. How can you love me this much when my parents don't love me?"
He lifted her to her feet and into his arms. "I'm so sorry baby. I wish there was something I could say or do that would convince you different, but it's obvious I can't. All I can do is never let you forget that I love you."
"Oh Tony, I don't deserve you."
"You're forgetting who you're talking to sweetheart. I'm just a drug dealer that was too stupid to realize that his mother was probably worse off because of the drugs they were giving her than she would have been without them."
"Oh Tony, it's really bothering you isn't it? I’m being so stupid and selfish going on about how my dad didn't tell me he'd been married. You're making me feel worse." But she laughed, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair.
"Don't bother yourself about it baby. I'm gonna make it better. How is my mom even going to handle being out and still being in town though? I'm not sure how long I want to stick around that place anymore. And I don't think that even if my mom is doing better that she'll want to be reminded of what happened to my dad there. You have a husband, a son, a house that's yours. Then it's all gone. Your husband's dead, your son is grown and your house is gone because you messed up and blew a bunch of money. I don't want to put my mom through that. I still drive by our old place sometimes. A young family bought the place. There are always kids out playing out in the yard. They kept the tree house up that my dad built for me when I was a kid. You can still see it from the street when you drive by, on the side of the house. My mom bitched at my dad when he built it. He wasn't the greatest at building. She always said that with the tree being so close to the house it was going to collapse and fall on the house. But it's still standing now.”
"So you move with me when I go to school, take some classes. We’ll live off campus, find a place that’s big enough for all of us."
"Maybe. I've still got to get my shit together before my mom can live with me. I don't want her to hear that I've been dealing for three years. You know how good people are about keeping their mouths shut around town. But I don't want to delay her getting out because I don't have my life together either."
"I'm sure it's going to take a while, Tony. It's probably better that way. You don't want her thrown back out into the world when she's been there for three years. Even if she's a thousand percent better with her new medication. I'm sure you'll have time to get it all together before they let her out."
"The messed up thing is, I'm gonna have to bust my ass selling for the first little while at least to have any kind of money to fall back on when I do go legit."
"I'll sell my car if I have to."
"No you won't. Langston would never speak to either of us again if I let you do that. Especially if he found out why you did it."
"So we don't tell him. It's not like he's going to be a big fixture in my life when him and my mom get a divorce."
"First you don't want to take the car and then you want to get rid of it and not tell him. If you let him, Langston would be more than happy to still be a part of your life."
"Then get him to give you a loan. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He likes you well enough now that he's decided he's not going to cut off your penis."
"Ha, ha Tory. Just because he likes me doesn't mean that I need to take advantage of it."
"And what am I doing by letting him give me a car and pay for college when my mother's leaving him by the side of the road?"
"That was his choice-not yours. You tried to convince him to take it back remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just think about it Tony. You let him play grandpa to the million kids that you seem to want to have and he'd probably be more than happy to give you a loan."
"So you're gonna have my babies?" He kissed the side of her neck.
"Ah hell, I had to bring that up again didn't I? Yes Tony, I'll have your babies. When I'm damned good and ready. And don't plan on that being anytime soon. You can get that look off of your face, picturing me pregnant and fat."
"You'd be beautiful."
She shook her head. "Even if you are one of those crazy men that think pregnant women are hot, what about when the luster fades and all the stretch marks come out? The saggy boobs and the mommy butt."
"Mommy butt? Plenty of women have kids and still look good."
"What about the sex? What woman could possibly want to have sex again after she's given birth?"
"That's what the drugs are for Tor."
"They give you weed in the hospital after you've given birth?"
&n
bsp; He rolled his eyes at her. "A lot of women probably wish they did. Marijuana isn't a drug. It's a plant with medicinal purposes. Ask Carl. He'll tell you with a fist in the face if you talk shit about his mom for smoking it. I'm talking about the epidural you dingbat."
"Duh Tony. I think it'd be cute to see Carl sticking up for his mom. Why would I want someone to stick a needle in my back? That shit's gotta hurt almost as much as giving birth without the drugs."
"They numb you up first I'm sure."
"Of course they do, with a shot from a big needle. No thank you. And aren't you concerned about your kid coming out high?"
"My mom had a natural birth. She was in agony for a long time afterwards. My dad said it killed him to watch her. That's why he made my mom convince Aunt Lori to go with the drugs when she had Carl. She had a hard enough time having him as it was. She wouldn't have made it through without them."
"So it's okay for your kid to come out looking high for a couple minutes after being born?"
"I'm sure it's not like that. Women obviously wouldn't do it if it hurt the baby. It's up to you Tor, whether you want drugs or not. You just don't need to go through pain unnecessarily."
"We need to get off of this subject, or I really will want to never have children."
"Yeah, we need to wash the sex off and get back to the house. Langston's probably wondering what's taking us so long."
"He's probably still hanging out with his friends, trying to forget about what a huge bitch my mom is. I sure wish I could forget sometimes. She just makes it so damned hard."
"Come on baby, no more bad thoughts. It's Christmas."
"If I'd have known all this shit was going to happen, I'd have told my mother to go screw herself and we'd have spent the holidays with your family."
"Then you wouldn't have your car. And Langston wouldn't have been around to help me realize that my mother's improvement was so dramatic that I realized that the drugs they had her on were hurting her more than helping her. You can't say that nothing good has come out of this trip."
"I guess you're right. If it means your mom is going to get her life back it was worth putting up with Lindsey for a couple days. Let's just hope that she doesn't make another appearance before we leave. I really don't want to deal with her anymore."
"I thought you wanted to talk to her about your dad?" He reached over and turned on the shower.
"I think I'd rather hear it from him. She'd just say a bunch of shit to make him look bad like she always does. She's always telling me how he practically raped her when she got pregnant with me. I get a little tired of it."
"I can see that.” He took her hand and pulled her into the shower with him. "No more bad thoughts baby. We're gonna get clean. Then we're gonna go back and have a nice peaceful night with Langston. If you're nice maybe I'll finish what you wouldn't let me finish earlier when we were in bed while we're in the shower." He gave her a sly smile.
"I don't think you'd have time before the hot water runs out."
"I've got talents you haven't tapped into yet darlin'."
"Oh really? I guess you'd better show me."
It was interesting to do it in the shower Tory thought. Not exactly comfortable, especially for Tony she figured, but interesting all the same. The hot water did run out on them, which she teased him about after she'd already gotten out and he was standing under the showerhead shivering as the cold water poured down on him.
"That's what you get for being a gentleman."
"Shit. Langston's gonna know we did it when we get back to the house because your hair's still gonna be wet. Don't you have a hair dryer?"
"If I had one; which I don't, it would still be at Langston's silly and what good would that do me?"
"Well, if you did you might be able to use it before he got home." He shrugged.
"My mother probably has one. Not that I'd want to go into her room to look for it. Who knows what she's got in there? It'll be fine. I'll put my hair up in a bun and he'll never notice it's wet."
"Right.”
"Why are you freaking out? You could tell by the look on his face when we left that he knew we were gonna go somewhere and have sex. I kinda think he understood that I needed it."
"It's one thing to admit to yourself that your kid's having sex. It's completely another to think about them liking it. And who in the hell wants to think about them NEEDING it?"
"I needed the comfort."
"I could have held you for comfort. I told you we didn't have to have sex."
"Damn Tony, it's not like we didn't do it already. It was your idea to do it twice and don't try to tell me you didn't like it because I know you did."
"Of course I liked it. I always like it. The second time I wanted to make sure you were taken care of."
She laughed. "Thank you for caring Tony. Don't get guilty on me now. It's not like was a virgin before we got here. I'm seventeen, it's not like I'm fourteen. Then I could see why it might bother him."
"I'll bet you were just as pretty when you were fourteen but I sure as hell wouldn't be with you if you were fourteen."
"Good thing I'm not then." She gave him a kiss.
"I would have been pretty disappointed if I'd found out you were that underage. I figured that you were eighteen at first. I didn't really like it that you weren't but I was in too deep by that time."
She laughed, pausing to light a cigarette when she was dressed. "If I remember correctly you didn't confirm my age until we'd already had sex and I woke up in your bed with a hangover the next morning."
"You remember correctly. I was too wasted myself to think to ask before we did it. I was so drunk I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to perform."
"You did just fine." She reached over and patted him on the top of the head as he bent over to tie his shoes.
"I know I did you smug bitch. I kept you coming back for more didn't I?"
"Yes, Tony's ego. No one ever said you weren't good in bed."
"There was a girl that did once." He grabbed her car keys from off of the night stand.
"Oh really." She raised an eyebrow. "Was it your first time?"
"Nah. Even she said I did good. Of course it was Bertha and I think it was her first time too, so what would she know?"
"Bertha the fat girl?"
"Yeah. She's not fat anymore. She lost a shitload of weight right before we graduated and hooked up with the captain of the football team. She wouldn't take a second look at me after she dumped me. I think I broke her heart when I told her I didn't want to get married."
"So you weren't always a romantic?"
"Hell no. I was a horny teenager. Pretty ironic that you walked in and turned me from a jaded drug dealer into a pile of mush at your feet when you finally gave me a chance."
"Funny that I feel the same way about you. Except I always kinda felt like I was a puddle of hormones. Who was she that dare doubt your sexual prowess?"
"I don't remember her name."
"Yeah right. When some chick tells you you're no good in bed you remember her name. You probably have a picture of her hidden in your house that you throw darts at when no one's around."
"It's not like it bugged me that much. She was a one night stand. Some chick I picked up at the bar a couple weeks after I turned twenty-one."
She followed him out of the motel room, locking the door behind them. They got into the Mustang.
"Who was she Tony? You brought it up, now spill it. Was she a hardcore lesbian who'd never been with a man? Although I doubt even a lesbian would think you were bad in bed."
"She was just some drunk chick, Tor. No one you'd know."
"So then tell me her name. What's it gonna hurt if I don't know who she is?"
"Why are you making me tell you this? It's embarrassing."
"Why? It's not like every guy thinks every girl they're with is good in bed. Though it's different for guys isn't it? Guys can still get off when a chick just lays there right?"
"It certainly ca
n make it harder though. What would you know Tor? You sure as hell never just lay there. Not even the first time we were together."
"I was drunk and stoned so my inhibitions were down. And there was no way in hell I was just gonna lay there. I wanted to like it. I knew that would piss off Jude even more if he knew."
"Yeah, yeah." He took out a cigarette but didn’t light it.
"So tell her name Tony."
He stuck the cigarette back in the pack and sighed. "It was Aretha. She was older, in her late twenties I think. You could tell that she was desperate by looking at her. But I was pretty desperate at the time myself so I thought what the hell. We went back to my place, had sex and she told me I was the worst she'd ever had. Then she got up and left. So now you know. Can we talk about something else, please?"
"I'll bet she was kidding Tony. She didn't want you to know what you really did to her. It can be kind of embarrassing."
"No, she really didn't like it. I could tell. That of course made it harder for me to finish so all in all it was not a good experience."
"Maybe she was used to a wham bam thank you ma'am and you weren't giving it to her. You may not have been quite as gentle with every woman as you are with me, but I can't picture you as being into rough sex. You respect women too much to want it rough."
He snorted. "Tor, you're thinking that I'm this knight in shining armor. I'm not. I've been with a lot of women, and I was known to give a discount for a blow job before I met you. I wasn't always a nice guy. Not always in high school, especially with poor Bertha and sure as hell not after."
"I still don't think you'd ever have done anything to a woman that she didn't want you to."
"Of course I wouldn't. Maybe you're right about that chick. She did look like the type who was used to being handcuffed to the bed."
"There's a type? Doesn't it turn you on to think of me as defenseless in your bed?"
"You'd still have your mouth free and we know how much you like to bite, so I hardly think you'd be defenseless."
"Maybe you'd have to get one of those sets with the fuzzy covers like they have at the sex stores. What are those places like?"
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 127
