“Yes. Thank you. Do you really think I’ll be a good mother Ricky?”
“Of course. I think you’ll be a wonderful mother. I only hope that I’ll make a good father.”
“Oh, you will. You’re so kind and smart and patient. I think you’ll be a great dad.” She smiled at him, feeling tears prick her eyes again. Could this be it she thought? Could she finally have found the happiness that she’d needed in her life for so long?
He kissed her. “Thank you. I can see you’re trying not to cry. If you don’t stop you’ll get me started and we’ll be a couple of sentimental fools crying on the night before Thanksgiving.”
“I don’t want to see you cry. I think it’s sexy that you’re not embarrassed to cry, but I don’t want you to cry. I’m not sad. I’m happy. I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone like you.”
“And I never thought I’d be given the gift of having someone like you in my life. Now, let’s eat before we really do start crying.”
Molli laughed. “Okay.”
She followed him to the kitchen, where they decided to make salad and a pizza. She helped him put the toppings on the premade crust. They sat together in front of the TV while it cooked, cuddling and drinking cocoa with ice cream on top.
It was a nice, comfortable evening and Molli was sorry to see it end. But she knew that Ricky had to drive to his parents’ house after he dropped her off at her house in the morning. So she followed him into the bedroom a little after ten pm, curling up in bed against his chest with his chin resting on the top of her head, which had quickly become her favorite way to fall asleep.
Chapter 8
Molli awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee and food from the direction of the kitchen. She sat up in bed and thought that she was going to be okay for a minute, but then the nausea hit her and she made her way to Ricky’s bathroom to vomit.
She felt Ricky’s hand pull her hair back from her neck. “Are you okay Molli?”
“Yes, just morning sickness. I guess I had better get used to it.”
“Sometimes dry crackers can help. My sister-in-law swore by them when she had morning sickness. Would you like some juice? I’d offer you coffee but I don’t know if you want the caffeine. I suppose there’s probably caffeine in most cocoa too, though. I’ll try to look for some without it.”
She leaned over and flushed the toilet. He rubbed her back. She let herself enjoy the feeling for a minute. “I wish we didn’t have to leave.”
“Me too. Since your family isn’t home, I’d take you home with me. But the atmosphere is already tense enough as it is with my brother and his wife fighting so much. And my parents adore Mellenda. I don’t think they’d appreciate me bringing you home when I haven’t broken up with her.”
Molli sighed. “I like it much better when I can pretend that Jude and Eduardo and Mellenda don’t exist.”
Ricky offered her his hand. She took it and stood up.
“I know Molli. We’ll get through this together. I promise.”
“Thank you Ricky. Your promise means a lot to me. I would like some juice yes.”
“Good. Would you like eggs and toast or cereal?”
“Cereal would be fine. I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
She followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“I’ve already eaten myself, but it’s no trouble. I can make you French toast or pancakes if you’d prefer.”
“You’re so sweet. French toast would be great. With strawberries on top if you have them.”
“I do. I love them myself. They get expensive later in the year, but I don’t care. Would you like to know what my trouble was this morning Molli?”
She gave him a look of concern. “What troubled you Ricky?”
He smiled. “It was a good trouble. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I wanted to lay there and watch you sleep. You’re even more beautiful when you’re at peace with yourself.”
“I dreamed about you. I had the baby. He was so beautiful. He looked like you, except he had my eyes. You were there. You were holding my hand and you were so happy.”
“I plan on being by your side when you give birth. It’s such a beautiful experience.”
Molli made a face. “It seems much more beautiful for the father than the mother.”
“Some men claim to feel sympathy pains for their wives during labor.”
“I think they’re making it up to make their wives feel better.”
“I don’t think so. When people have a deep connection, they can sense things before they happen. They’ll know when a certain someone is calling them before the phone rings, or a wife whose husband works the night shift will awaken minutes before his key turns in the door. Love is a beautiful thing.”
“It can be. I think you could make anything sound beautiful.”
“I’d like you to see more beauty in the world. It starts with being able to see more beauty in yourself. What do you see when you look in the mirror Molli?”
“I don’t know. Just me I guess.”
“Just you? There is no just you. We’re all special. Tell me what you really see Molli. I want to know.”
“Um, well I see my hair and I don’t like it because it’s so full and curly. Sometimes I wish I had straight hair. I see my eyes and I like them. I don’t like my lips because they’re too full. I don’t like that I’m so much taller than a lot of girls in my class. I wish I was short and small sometimes.”
“And if you were to stand nude in front of a mirror what would you see then?”
Molli laughed, feeling a little embarrassed. “Um, I don’t like my boobs because they’re so small. My stomach isn’t flat enough, though I guess I can’t really do much about that now that I’m pregnant. I don’t like my butt because it’s kinda big. I do like my tattoo. My legs are okay. I don’t like my belly button piercing, that’s why I don’t wear it much anymore. I like the tattoo on my ankle, though it really hurt when Seneca gave it to me and it took forever. I like my tongue piercing but I lost the only stud that I really liked.”
“Would you like to know what I see when I look you?”
She looked into his eyes. She had to swallow before she could speak because she saw so much emotion in them. “Yes.”
“I see a beautiful girl who is so self-conscious about who she is that it almost killed her. I see a girl who thinks she is stupid and not good enough. I want to take you into my arms and whisper sweet words into your ear until you believe in yourself again. I want to love you so much that you learn to love yourself again.” Ricky’s eyes glistened with tears.
Molli got up from the table and kissed him until they were both breathless. “I thought we weren’t going to get sentimental and cry.”
“I want you to realize that you are so much more than you believe yourself to be. Everyone is perfect to someone, and you are perfect to me. And you’ll be perfect to our child too.”
“No more. If I start crying, you’ll say something else that’s really sweet and I won’t be able to stop.”
“Tears can be cleansing but I’ll shut my mouth and make your breakfast. I’ll be thinking beautiful thoughts of you in my head though.”
Molli laughed. “I must have met the only guy on the planet who thinks pretty thoughts about girls before he thinks of dirty ones.”
Ricky laughed. “Oh, I have plenty of those too. I’d like to help you pick out another stud for your tongue and I very much like your tattoos, too. Your ass is perfect and your breasts are spectacular. Your legs are more than okay. When I look at your lips, I can’t think of anything but kissing them for hours on end.”
“Yeah, I think you’d better cook me breakfast before I get started on all of the things I like about your body.”
Ricky smiled and then turned back towards the refrigerator. He got out eggs, milk, and a bottle of orange juice. He poured her a glass of juice and then sat it in front of her.
“I’d love to hear about the things you like abo
ut my body when we have more time.” He winked at her and then set about making her breakfast.
She thought it was the best French toast she had ever eaten, though neither her mother nor father had ever been much of a cook. The moment got a little too intimate when she fed Ricky a bite and couldn’t stop herself from licking the syrup off of his lips. They were close to making love on his kitchen table when he pulled back from her embrace and looked at his watch.
“I’m sorry Molli. We should get ready to go. As much as I would love to make love to you again and again until you have to go back to school, I think my parents would disown me if I missed Thanksgiving dinner.”
Molli made a face. “It must be nice to have parents that care about stuff like that.”
“It is. By this time next year, we’ll have a little one and will be making holiday memories of our own.”
Molli smiled. “I like the way you think Ricky. I’ll go get dressed and get ready to go.”
She couldn’t resist kissing him one more time before she headed to the bedroom.
She pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, socks, panties and a clean bra. She was dressed and was standing in front of the mirror and trying to see what Ricky saw when he came into the bedroom several minutes later.
He stood behind her. She looked into his eyes in the mirror, enjoying the way they looked together, the contrast between her lighter hair, eyes and skin, and his darker skin, hair and eyes.
“If I could loan you my eyes and my heart and you could look upon yourself and see what I see when I look at you, I don’t think you’d ever feel self-conscious again Molli.”
He rubbed his hands lightly over her arms and then kissed the top of her head.
“I’m trying to see it, but it’s so hard sometimes.”
“It is hard to change the way you think of yourself. You have to do it a step at a time. One more positive thought a day, one less bit of negative self-talk in your head, and before you know it, it won’t be so hard to see you the way I see you.”
Molli laughed. “You want me to end up with a big ego don’t you?”
“No, I just want you to have healthy self-esteem. I want you to respect yourself and your body and not to feel as if you’re obligated to give it to a man when you don’t want to.”
“I’ve never given you my body when I didn’t want to Ricky.”
“I don’t like to think that I would have let you, no matter how much I wanted you. But I believe there have been times in your life that you have given yourself to a man or a boy to regain some feeling of self-worth. I don’t want you to find your self-worth within me. I want you to find it within you. I will do everything I can to help you every step of the way though.”
“Thank you.” She turned and kissed him. “I guess we’d better get going now huh?”
“Yes, I’m afraid you’re right.”
He picked up his overnight bag and hers and took them to the living room while he made one last check of the apartment, making sure that everything was turned off and locked. A few minutes later, he helped her into her coat and then let her precede him out of the apartment.
He locked the door and they headed out to his car. They didn’t talk much during the drive to her house. She was afraid that she was going to cry and beg him to stay with her. She already missed him and he wasn’t gone yet. She felt like she lost a little bit more of him every time he left her, that no matter what, he’d never truly be hers. She was deathly afraid that she was going to lose him.
When he pulled up in front of her house, she was almost glad to see that her parents weren’t home. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with their trying too hard to sound interested conversations. She also didn’t want them to hear her puking her guts out in the morning.
She unlocked the door while Ricky stood behind her with her bag. He followed her into the house and took her into his arms. “I’ll be thinking of you. Will you think of me?”
“Of course I will Ricky.”
“I’ll try to bring you a plate if I can manage to get away, even if it’s at midnight.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Goodbye Molli. I’ll call you later too, if I can.”
“Why don’t you just text me?”
“It takes me forever to do it. My parents will look at me strangely if I’m constantly messing with my cell phone.”
She pouted. “Okay. Goodbye Ricky.”
She put her arms around him and got in one last kiss before she let him leave.
He smiled at her. “Goodbye Molli.”
She spent most of the day playing around online with her laptop. She ordered Chinese for dinner and fell asleep on the couch; sure that Ricky wouldn’t break his promise to her, though he hadn’t called her.
She awoke to a knock at her front door at two a.m. She brightened and tried to tame her wild curls a bit with her fingers before she got up and answered the door. The smile immediately left her face when she opened the door, though. It wasn’t Ricky standing on her parents’ doorstep but Eduardo.
“What in the hell are you doing here?”
“I missed you baby. I couldn’t let my favorite girl spend the holiday all alone.”
“I’m not your favorite girl anymore and you’re certainly not my favorite man. Why don’t you just go away?”
“C’mon Mol, let me in. I know your parents aren’t home.”
“You’re lucky that they’re not because they’d probably be calling the cops right about now. You’re drunk aren’t you?” She sighed and stepped back to let him into the house, shutting the door.
“Yeah, so what?”
“So, you drove here from Brentwood didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“You could have killed someone Eduardo. You know better than to drive drunk. I thought they already took your license away for that once.”
Eduardo shrugged and sat down on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. He started to light a cigarette. She grabbed the lighter from his hand.
“Don’t you dare light that in here. My parents would kill me.”
“You’re such a bore lately Mol now that you’re playing around with your college boy. He break up with his other girlfriend? Nah, I bet he hasn’t. You seem to like men that are taken. You got yourself one that was finally all yours and then you turned around and went after another one that was already taken.”
Molli gave him a dirty look and shoved his feet off of the coffee table. “Screw you Eduardo. Isn’t Peggy still married? And you sure as hell were last time I checked.”
“Peggy ain’t seen her old man in years, they just ain’t never filed for divorce. And why should I let Crisha go? She’s a fine piece of ass when she actually gives it up.”
“I can’t blame her for not wanting to have sex with you. She’s probably afraid that you’ll give her AIDS or something since you’re sleeping with Peggy.”
“Peggy doesn’t have AIDS. You used to like to fuck me even after I took up with her.”
“You are disgusting Eduardo. Will you please leave? I’ll give you the money to get a motel room so you can sleep off your drunk.”
“Why would I want to go to a motel when I could stay right here with you?”
“Because I don’t want you here, that’s why. Ricky’s going to be here any time.”
Eduardo laughed. “Yeah right. I’ll bet you he’s sticking it to his fine ass girlfriend right now in his parents’ house.”
“She’s not with him. She’s with her family.”
“That’s not the way I heard it. I heard that he spent half the day with her family and then took her back to his parents’ big ol fancy house. Oh Molli, did I break your heart? Has your pretty boy with his greasy hair been lying to you?”
“Ricky doesn’t need to lie to me. He’s good to me. Better than you or Jude could ever be.”
“You’re gonna think so when he’s putting an engagement ring on Mellenda’s pretty finger.”
“Fuck you. He wants to be with me. I’m pregnant and we’re going to be together, raise the baby together.”
“If you had any sense you’d abort that kid the first chance you get.”
Molli wanted to slap him. “Get the hell out of my house.”
Eduardo laughed. “Don’t you think it could be my kid or Jude’s? Oh no, you’ve got your heart set on it being Ricky’s because you’ve convinced yourself that he’s going to save you from yourself. Grow the fuck up Molli. His pretty words ain’t gonna mean a damn thing when you’re standing in the welfare line.”
“The baby is Ricky’s. He’s the only one I’ve ever done it with without protection. He doesn’t screw around like you and Jude do. And he’d never let something like that happen to me.”
“You’re gonna fall hard when you take off those rose colored glasses girl. At least I’m honest about where I stick my dick. You knew when you set your sights on Jude that he liked to screw around. Do you really think that your precious Enrique isn’t sticking it to a couple more high school girls in Upton or up where his parents live?”
“I don’t care where you stick your dick anymore, as long as it’s not anywhere near me. I didn’t set my sights on Jude; he came to me when I was in Brentwood over the summer hanging out with Seneca. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend at first because everyone said he had broken up with Tory. And no, I don’t think that Ricky is sticking it to a couple more high school girls anywhere. He’s very busy with school and work.”
Eduardo snorted. “Uh huh. You let yourself believe that until you’re pregnant for the third time with his kid and he’s married to someone else and sleeping with ten other stupid bitches. You’re pretty dumb sometimes Molli, but don’t tell me that you believed that Jude had broken up with Tory for a second. He wasn’t going to let that fine ass of hers go until he had to. I wouldn’t have let her go either until I had gotten down her pants. I guess Wilson’s been giving it to her good though. She’s so damn hot in bed that he gave up his bitches on the side. That’s something for a drug dealer. Any junkie will sleep with her dealer, especially when they’re someone all the chicks drool over like Tony.”
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 158
