As she opened the door, her heart started beating fast. Shiloh was standing on her doorstep, holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. She blinked at him, thinking that he might be a mirage, though they didn’t live in the desert.
He gave her a grin, showing dimples and straight white teeth. “Hi.”
Forever couldn’t speak for a moment. She just stared at him. Then she cleared her throat, and decided that he felt sorry for her. She couldn’t believe that he didn’t have a date on Valentine’s Day though.
“Hi.”
His grin faded. “I’m sorry to bother you. I’ll leave.” He shoved the flowers at her. “I wanted you to have these.”
As the flowers and heart shaped box of chocolates were in her hands, she paused. She got the feeling that she had offended him. “Shiloh wait.”
He turned back to her. “I know that I shouldn’t have shown up on your doorstep on Valentine’s Day. I got the crazy idea into my head that you might want to be my Valentine since you said you didn’t have one.”
Forever swallowed hard. “You can come in.”
“Thank you.”
He followed her into the house and then shut the door behind them. Mittens jumped up off of the couch and disappeared. Shiloh sat down on the couch. She cleared her throat again. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was still pounding. She couldn’t believe Shiloh was in her living room, especially when she was wearing a ratty pair of pajamas.
“I’ll be right back. Would you like something to drink?”
“Water would be great. Thank you. Tap is fine with me.”
“I have bottled.”
Shiloh nodded. He was starting to look very uncomfortable.
Forever put the vase of flowers and the chocolates on the counter and then grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. She wanted to stay in the kitchen for a minute or two, maybe all night, but she took a deep breath, let it out and then went back to the living room. She handled him the bottle of water. She had no idea what to say to him.
He took his coat off and draped it over the back of the couch. She wanted to tell him to put it back on. She could see his muscular arms. His t-shirt was tight and it clung to his chest. She looked away from him, feeling her face get hot.
“Forever?”
She licked lips that had gone dry and turned back to him. “Yes?”
“Was I wrong to come here? Well, I admit that I was probably wrong to come here. I had to bribe Treya to give me your address. I shouldn’t have done that. But I always thought that you kinda liked me. I could be wrong. I’m wrong a lot.”
Forever closed her eyes. When she opened them, he was still sitting there and he was giving her a concerned look. “You weren’t wrong.”
“So, I like you and you like me. I didn’t really want to ask you out at work. There aren’t any real rules against it, but it’s still a little weird you know, even though the bosses are married.”
“Yeah.” She paused, because what he’d said had just hit her. “Wait, what do you mean you like me too?”
Shiloh laughed, though it sounded more than a little uncomfortable to Forever. “I thought you would have figured that out by now. I wanted to ask you out the first time I really talked to you. You’re so pretty and so smart. And you’re always so calm. Some days, I want to take up smoking because the job drives me crazy. You have these really talented writers. Well, they’re not all talented, but I’m not the one who decides on what gets published so. . . Anyway, you have these talented writers and you know they self-edit probably a bunch of times before we get handed their material, but sometimes it’s still riddled with stupid errors. I get it, but it still drives me out my head some days. You don’t seem to get like that though.”
“I do-believe me. Why would a guy like you want to go out with a girl like me?”
He gave her a strange look. “What do you mean a girl like you?”
“I’m fat in case you haven’t noticed.” Forever looked away from him. She knew that her face was really on fire now.
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”
Forever turned back to him and shook her head. “Why would you want to go out with a fat girl when you could go out with a skinny girl that looks like a model? You’re gorgeous.”
“Forever, I don’t choose my dates anymore based on the size of their waists or the size of their breasts or the size of their pocket books. In high school, I went to bed with a lot of girls for stupid reasons. In college, I did the same thing. Hell, I was still screwing around with a bunch of girls two years ago just because I knew I could. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself where it was getting me. And the answer was simple. It was getting me nowhere. Or it would have eventually led to a worse place. I would have gotten some random piece of ass pregnant and had to pay child support. It’s not that I don’t want children. But I want children with a woman that I love, that loves me back. When I met you, I got this stupid idea into my head that you were the woman that would love me for who I am instead of the fact that she thinks I’m hot.”
“You are hot.”
Shiloh sighed. “I get it. I’m gonna go now.”
He stood.
“Wait. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re smart and you’re kind and you’re really good at your job. I don’t like you just because I think you’re hot.”
He sat back down, giving her a grin that was almost shy. “So will you go out with me then?”
“I can’t.”
He gave her a look that was full of confusion. “Why not? I like you, you like me.”
“In the last year and a half of being completely without a date, I’ve come to some decisions about my love life.”
“Okay.” The confusion was still on his face.
“I decided that the men that I’ve been with fall into a few distinct categories. Not that I’ve been with a lot of men, but anyway. Some want maids, some think I’m going to be their mother, some are way too clingy and make me feel like I can’t breathe. Others lie and cheat. They usually look like you. Or are really good looking like you. I decided that I wanted a man that’s a real man. I’m not a maid as you can probably see by the state of my house. I don’t know how to be a mother. I don’t want a man that’s always up my ass. I’ve lived by myself for almost twelve years now and I need room to breathe. I’m not going to let a guy lie to me and cheat on me just because I’m not so hot that I can just crook my finger and have another man in my bed. I also decided that the man I want does not exist.”
Shiloh chuckled. “You did huh?”
“I did. Romance movies make me sick, even romantic comedies do.”
Shiloh brushed her hair out of her face. “If you’ll give me a chance I can be that man for you. I’m not perfect. I probably need a maid since I’m not the greatest at housekeeping myself, but I wouldn’t expect you to clean my house for me because you were my woman. I don’t need a mother. Mine did just fine and she’s still there when I need her. I can be a little clingy sometimes but if I get clingy tell me to back off. I have cheated, I have lied but I’m trying to be a better man. I’m not some guy out of a romance movie. It took me a long time to pick out those flowers. I think the salesgirl finally decided I was hopeless and she picked them out for me. I want to be your man Forever.” He chuckled. “Your name kind of gives it a double meaning.”
Forever smiled. “I guess it does.” Her smiled faded. “Are you sure you don’t have a secret wife or family?”
“I do not. I promise you.” He stuck out his left hand. “See-no white band from where I took my wedding ring off.”
“Maybe you just don’t wear one.” He gave her a look. “I’m kidding Shiloh.”
“Can I kiss you?”
Forever bit her lip. “I don’t know if that would be a good idea.”
“Are you weird about the whole working together thing? I’ll quit. I have a job offer at another publisher. The pay isn’t quite as good since they’re new, but I’ll
take it if it makes you feel better. I really like you. I haven’t been out on a date in nine months. I was holding out the hope that you’d decide you wanted to go out with me.”
Forever laughed. “You never asked me before.”
“I was hoping you’d ask me. I was pretty sure that you liked me, but I didn’t want to make a fool of myself if you didn’t. Some girls flirt when they think a guy is safe, I guess so their flirting skills don’t get rusty or something. Then I decided that I might as well make a fool of myself by showing up on your doorstep and asking you to be my Valentine like we’re in second grade.”
Forever smiled. “I will be your Valentine. You don’t have to quit your job. I love seeing you around the office. Everybody else that works there seems so old and stuffy. I would love for you to kiss me, but you’ve made me feel very vulnerable. I’m afraid that a kiss would lead to something more. I don’t want to be your one night stand.”
“I couldn’t make love to you and walk away. I think I’m half in love with you already. We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. I admit that I haven’t had sex in a while and I have thought about what it would be like to make love to you on many a lonely night, but I don’t want to pressure you. I want this to be right.”
“You sound too good to be true.”
Shiloh laughed. “I’m not, believe me. I snore, I’m terrible about taking the trash out, I spend too much money on stuff that I don’t need. I steal the covers, and I think that it’s sexy to watch a woman’s panties spinning around in the dryer with my boxers.”
Forever laughed. “I always knew you were a little weird. You can kiss me. But forgive me if I attack you and drag you to my bedroom. I had a few glasses of wine earlier so my inhibitions are down and my hormones are already screaming at me.”
Shiloh smiled. “I think I’ll survive if you do. My hormones are pretty much on overdrive too.” He winked at her.
Forever closed her eyes when she felt his lips touch hers. It was an incredible feeling. She felt like she was floating. He was so passionate. There was still a part of her that found it hard to believe that she’d made him feel that way. But as he pressed her gently back onto the couch several minutes later, his erection was very evident.
She let out a quiet moan and brought her hand to the crotch of his jeans. He groaned.
“Mmm. Forever, were you serious about taking me to your bedroom? I feel like I’m going to explode.”
She licked her lips. “Oh yes.”
She took his hand and led her to her bedroom. Mittens shot her a feline dirty look and ran out of the room. Shiloh shook his head. “I don’t think your cat likes me.”
“I don’t think he likes anybody, to tell you the truth.”
He chuckled. When they had both undressed, Forever moved immediately to turn off the light. Shiloh put his hand over hers.
“I want to look at you.”
Forever gave him a half smile as she looked down at her less than perfect body. “If you insist.”
“You’re beautiful. Every part of you is beautiful. If you’ll give me a second time around tonight, I’ll prove to you how beautiful I think you are. But the first time, you’ll have to forgive me. I have a feeling it’s going to be quick.”
“It’s okay.”
He took her hand and led her to the bed. He’d already put a condom, on but it still felt like too long to Forever before he was inside of her. She closed her eyes as he moved above her. She’d never been able to keep her eyes open for long during sex. She’d seen some very strange looks cross the faces of men she’d been with and she had to wonder what her own expressions looked like.
A moment later, Shiloh paused. “Forever?”
She opened her eyes. “Yes?”
“Look at me.”
“I am looking at you.”
“Keep your eyes open for just a little while please. I don’t care if you make weird faces. I want to know that it’s me you’re thinking of.”
Forever touched his face. “Why would I need to think of someone else?”
He smiled. “Thank you.”
He started to move again. She kept her eyes locked on his as long as she could. So much crossed his face. The passion was still there, but then it changed to a dreamy sort of satisfaction. It made her believe that there was no else he’d rather be with.
She had to close her eyes then, because it made her want to cry. He came soon after. He let out a contended sigh and moved off of her.
“I feel so much better now. Now I feel like I could take all night to please you. And I can do it if you want me to since we don’t have to work tomorrow.”
She looked away from him.
“Are you okay? You don’t regret it already do you? I know it was quick but I really wasn’t that bad was I?”
Forever shook her head. “You were wonderful. I just. . .”
“Just what babe?”
“The way you looked, it made me want to cry.”
“Why would it make you cry?”
“I’m not used to men looking at me like that. Their eyes are usually closed too, I guess because they’d rather be with someone else.”
Shiloh squeezed her hand. “I wouldn’t. I haven’t been with a lot of big women, but I never understood why a woman would think that she wasn’t beautiful just because she had some extra meat on her bones. Curves are beautiful. Yours are spectacular. I’m surprised you haven’t caught me checking out your butt. I looked down your shirt one day too.”
Forever laughed. “Thanks. I think.”
“Sorry. Your breasts are gorgeous.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“So what do you say I get started convincing you you’re beautiful?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Shiloh did a very good job of convincing her he thought she was beautiful. He pleased her over and over again with his hands, and his mouth. When he made love to her the second time, it was the best sex of her life. She’d never realized sex could feel that good. She’d had a boyfriend that had loved her, and treated her well, but he had never made her feel the way that Shiloh made her feel.
After they had showered together, Shiloh looked at her and gave her another smile that approached shyness. “Forever?”
“Hmm?” She was exhausted. Very content and so happy that she almost couldn’t believe it, but exhausted all the same.
“Would you mind some company tonight?”
She smiled. “I don’t think I’d mind your company every night to tell you the truth.”
He squeezed her hand and pulled her to him for a kiss that was still as passionate as the first time he’d kissed her. “Be careful darlin’. I might just hold you to that.”
“I’ll remember that.”
She shooed Mittens off of her bed and they lay down together. Waking up in Shiloh’s arms the next morning was an incredible feeling for Forever. It made her feel things that she had been beginning to wonder if she’d ever really feel. He made her feel safe, protected, and special. The way he looked at her made her feel as if he could love her. She marveled over that fact for a long time.
They spent much time together after that. Mittens grew to accept Shiloh. Forever secretly thought that her cat had grown to like her boyfriend more than he’d ever liked her. Six months later, Shiloh proposed. It wasn’t the most romantic proposal in the world. He’d asked her to help him pick out her engagement ring since he’d confessed that he was even worse at picking out jewelry than he was at picking out flowers, but it was more than good enough for Forever. She lost some weight, since he’d convinced her to start working out with him, but he had her convinced that he’d always love her no matter what she weighed, and he’d told her that he didn’t want her to lose all of her fantastic curves.
Special Bonus Story:
Watching you, Watching Me
Carlie’s breath caught in her throat as she stood at her bedroom window. Her neighbor was standing in front of his bedroom w
indow again. He was undressing. He was gorgeous. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t run into him even once since he’d moved in next door almost three months ago. She had looked forward to this time of night for weeks now, since she had first caught a glimpse of him undressing. The first time it had been an accident, but it certainly hadn’t been since then.
Carlie sighed as he walked away. She didn’t know his name. He seemed to leave the house rarely and was always getting deliveries. She’d noticed packages sitting on his front porch several times when she’d returned home from work. She wondered if he had everything delivered.
Her neighbor on the other side was a notorious gossip and claimed that the good looking man who looked to be in his thirties was some sort of drug dealer or ex con. Carlie had pretended that what Nat had said made sense and then laughed about it when she’d gone back home. The only people she’d ever seen leave his house had been delivering something.
There was no car in his driveway. She hadn’t seen a moving truck when he’d moved in either, though Nat claimed to have seen one late at night. Nat thought that his name was Trey, but Karen, the woman across the street, had supposedly talked with him one day and claimed that his name was Connor. Carlie was rather confused, since the names sounded nothing alike, but she wouldn’t have had the courage to ask him even if she had ran into him.
Carlie had been divorced for three years. She was very self-conscious about the weight she had gained since then. She thought that it was a little ironic that her ex had once threatened to leave her if she ever got fat, and she’d waited to get what she certainly considered to be fat until after he’d already left her. Her marriage with Brandt hadn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, but she still missed him sometimes. Then she’d think about what he had done and she’d realize that she was actually quite glad that they hadn’t been able to have children together. She didn’t think she could stand to have to see him on a regular basis.
Carlie glanced at the romantic suspense novel on her night stand and wondered if she was awake enough to read for a while, or if she should just go to bed. It was after eleven. She had to be up and at the bake shop that she ran with her childhood best friend by 5 a.m., but Mr. Mysterious as she had been calling him in her head lately, always got undressed in front of his window a few minutes before eleven. It wasn’t something that she wanted to miss.
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 207
