Two weeks later, she came back through the alley on her evening walk with Mitty. She let them in through the back gate and unlocked the side door to her house. Mitty had already gone inside. She was halfway inside when a voice stopped her. Connor’s voice.
“Carlie, can I talk to you for a minute? Please.”
Carlie wanted to pretend that she hadn’t heard him. She paused with her hand on the doorknob and let out a quiet sigh. She took a deep breath and then let it out, and turned to face him.
“I think I owe you an apology.”
“Oh.”
Connor let out a sigh of his own. “Do you want to come over for a cup of decaf, or tea or something? I’d rather do this inside than out. You can bring Mitty if you want.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Connor.”
“Please Carlie. I feel like I need to explain myself. I mean you no harm. Bring your dog. You know he won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Mitty was a very protective dog, Carlie had to admit that. She called out his name. He came running. She clipped his leash back to his collar and shut and locked the door. Her heart was pounding as she walked to the front gate. Connor met her on his front porch. He held the door for her. Once she and Mitty were inside, he shut the door behind them.
His living room was very neat. There was no TV, only an elaborate stereo system in one corner and a big desk with both a desktop and a laptop computer. He gestured for her to sit down. “You can let him off of the leash. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Though I think I’m out of tea bags so it would have to be iced.”
“Tea is fine, with a little sugar please.”
“It’s already sweetened. Do you want a slice of coffee cake? I’m sure it’s not as good as anything you make at the shop, but I thought it was good.”
“No thank you.”
Connor shrugged and went towards the kitchen. Mitty followed him. She saw him pat the dog’s head. He was back a few minutes later with two glasses of tea. She took a sip and then placed the glass on a coaster on his coffee table. It was perfectly sweetened.
Connor settled into the armchair across from her. Mitty curled up at his feet. She shot her dog a dirty look and Connor chuckled. They were both silent for several minutes. Then he cleared his throat. “I feel like such an idiot Carlie. I’m so sorry about that night. What I did was wrong. I noticed you watching me a few times and I enjoyed it. It made me feel good. It’s hard to explain, but it made me feel as if life was worth living again, knowing that you were watching me.”
Carlie picked up the tea just for something to do. She took a sip and then replaced the glass. “What do you mean Connor?”
“My wife died almost five years ago. We have a daughter. She’ll turn five this spring. My mother has custody right now. I couldn’t stand to raise her by myself. She looks just like Bessie. I never agreed with her choice. She had cancer. When she found out she was pregnant, she chose to discontinue any kind of treatment. We’d been using birth control, but things happen. Bessie thought it was a sign from above and she made up her mind. She thought that I’d be able to carry on without her if I had a piece of her with me, but I couldn’t do it. I’m a terrible father and a terrible man.”
“You’re not. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy choice for your wife to make.”
Connor sighed. “Sometimes I think it was. Sometimes I think that she was tired and would have been ready to go even if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. But that’s not why I asked you in. That night, I let my feelings towards you overtake my sensibility. I think of you quite frequently when I do that in private. I thought that for some reason if you saw you’d realize that I knew you were watching and wanted you in the same way that you seem to want me. Or seemed to want me. I was thrilled when I saw that you were touching yourself as well, but then you opened your eyes and you saw me. The look on your face was terrible. I shouldn’t have smiled at you. I never should have done it in the first place. I apologize. I promise you that I’ll never do it again. You can go back to watching me if you’d like.”
Carlie couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “No Connor. I should never have watched you in the first place. I was wrong too. I’m going to go now. Come on Mitty.”
Mitty raised his head, but didn’t move.
“Carlie. I’ve wanted to approach since the first time I saw you, but I never had the courage. You’re so beautiful. I’ve seen some of the cakes you’ve made. They’re wonderful. It’s almost like an art form.”
Carlie laughed. “It’s a cake Connor. The shop was Tanisha’s idea. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life. She always seemed so sure. I’m just kinda along for the ride. I’ve felt that way my whole life. The shy, kinda cute girl that always hung out with the pretty girl who was never afraid to speak her mind.”
“Do you not know that you’re beautiful? Don’t you own a mirror?”
Carlie shook her head. “I’ve gained almost forty pounds since my divorce. I wasn’t that great to look at beforehand, now it’s just kinda sad. I’m okay with what happened that night. We were both wrong. I’m thinking of selling my house.”
Her last statement had slipped out. It hadn’t been true until she’d said it. But now that she thought about it, moving away from this neighborhood was starting to sound better and better.
“I see. Can I take you out to dinner sometime? Or make you dinner. I seem to have developed more than a bit of agoraphobia since my wife’s death.”
“I’m sorry Connor. I wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
“I understand. But I want you to know that I do think you’re beautiful no matter what you weigh. Will you say goodbye if you do sell your house?”
Carlie nodded, feeling tears prick her eyes. “I have to go. Mitty. Come.”
Mitty finally responded. She clipped his leash back on and made her escape. When she was home, she let the tears flow. Her feelings were so conflicted that she didn’t come close to understanding them. She understood that it had to have been hard for Connor to say the things to her that he had. There was a part of her that wanted to run back to his house and tell him that she’d love to have dinner with him, but there was a part of her that was still much too humiliated to face him again.
So she did nothing. She took a shower and then she went to bed. Two days later, she put her house on the market. Six weeks later it sold. She and Mitty moved into a much smaller house that still had a big backyard. It was reasonably priced. She was able to get more for her old house than she’d thought she would. She did not say goodbye to Connor.
A month after her move, Tanisha convinced her to go out with Evan. There was no chemistry between them. Carlie thought that he was good looking and funny, but knew that she’d never think of him as more than just a friend. He did give her a confidence boost though. He told her she was beautiful and actually made her believe it. She lost fifteen pounds since she’d started taking Mitty on longer walks and walking to work since her new house was much closer to the bake shop.
Three months after her move, she was in the back of the shop putting the finishing touches on a cake when Tanisha came into the room and said “Your boyfriend’s here.”
“Evan and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. I thought you knew that. He was never really my boyfriend anyway. We just went out a few times.”
Tanisha grinned. “I’m talking about the gorgeous neighbor that you ran away from. He’s got an adorable little girl with him. She looks about Leela’s age. I should invite her over for a play date.”
“Connor is here? You take care of him. I’m staying right here.”
Tanisha shook her head. “Nope. It’s my break time. I think I’ll go see if the hot one’s daughter wants a cookie.”
“Nish please.”
“Honey you are thirty six years old, not thirteen. You haven’t faced him in almost six months. It’s time to face him. I’ve never met a woman in my life that didn’t totally take advantage of it when a guy that fine had a thing for her.”
“Ha ha. Nish, I’ll do anything. I’ll watch your kids for the next month. You and Garth can go out every night.”
“You and my kids would all go crazy if I let you do that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pretty little girl to bribe away from her daddy.”
Tanisha turned and walked out of the kitchen. Carlie groaned. She straightened her apron and then looked at her reflection in the door of the microwave. She sighed. Her cheeks were already flushed. She hoped that no one else was in the shop. She took a deep breath and then let it out.
Carlie walked out to the main area of the bake shop and put a smile on her face. Tanisha had already managed to wrangle Connor’s daughter away from him and was sitting with her at a table. Tanisha winked at her and then turned back to the pretty little girl.
Connor gave her a smile. “Carlie. You look wonderful. We miss you in the neighborhood. The family that moved into your house has two very rebellious teenagers. I almost want to move myself.”
Carlie laughed. “Your daughter is beautiful. Is she just visiting?”
Connor nodded. “Thank you. For now she is just visiting. I still have to figure out whether I want to stay here or go back to my hometown. Isabella is quite attached to her school and her friends.”
“I see. It’s good to see you out and about.”
Connor chuckled. “It still feels rather strange sometimes. But I couldn’t expect a five year old girl to stay cooped up inside the house for a week. She just had a birthday. Tanisha is trying to talk me into letting her take Isabella for the night. She has a daughter about her age.”
“Leela. She’s a bundle of energy. I’m sure they’d have a great time together.”
Connor smiled. “I’m sure they would. Carlie, would you have dinner with me tonight? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
Tanisha raised an eyebrow at her. Carlie had forgotten that her best friend had such good hearing. She bit her lip. Tanisha frowned at her and then returned her attention to Isabella.
Connor sighed. “It’s okay Carlie. I understand if you don’t feel the same way.”
Carlie shook her head and then decided to lay it all out. “It’s not that Connor. I’ve always been very attracted to you. I’m afraid. Afraid of my feelings, afraid of hurting you. Afraid of getting attached to you and then having you leave. Your responsibility is to that beautiful little girl.”
“We can’t let our fears stop us from living Carlie. I did that for way too long. I let my fears steal a big part of my daughter’s childhood from me. I watched Isabella grow up in pictures and videos because I couldn’t stand to look at her and see her mother. It’s dinner. One date. Then we let nature take its course. If you decide you never want to see me again, I’ll understand and I’ll leave you alone. No pressure.”
Tanisha was grinning widely. Carlie shot her a dirty look and then turned back to Connor. He gave her an amused smile. “Please Carlie. It doesn’t have to be tonight if you don’t want it to be. You name the time and the place. Just don’t try to make me go dancing please.”
Carlie laughed. “You’re in luck there. I don’t dance either. Dinner would be great. Thank you.”
“Great. What time should I pick you up? Or do you want to meet there? ”
“Seven is good for me if that’s not too late. You can pick me up. I need to make sure Mitty gets his evening walk. Sometimes I feel like I have a child myself.”
“I could see that. You live at the corner of 12th and Pine is that right?”
“I do.”
“I’m not stalking you, I swear. Tanisha told me.”
“That does not surprise me. I’ll see you at seven. It’s the off white house with brown shutters if Tanisha didn’t tell you that.”
“She didn’t. I’ll see you tonight. I suppose I should go retrieve my daughter. Would you like to meet her?”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.” Connor smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
Tanisha rose from the table. She gave Isabella a bright smile. “I’ll see you tonight sweetie. Leela has a ton of dolls and games. We have a big backyard. Leela’s bed even pulls out and turns into two beds. You’ll have a great time.”
Isabella gave Tanisha a shy smile. “Thank you. Daddy is it okay?”
Connor smiled. “Of course it is sweetheart. I know you miss your friends. Come meet Daddy’s other friend.”
Carlie smiled at Isabella. The child gave her an inquiring look. “Are you my dad’s girlfriend?”
Carlie wasn’t sure how to answer. Connor hid a smile. “Isabella, this is Carlie. Right now Carlie is just an extra special friend of Dad’s. We are going out to dinner tonight though. Would you like to come?”
Isabella shook her head. “Tanisha said that they’re having homemade pizza and that I can help make it. I like it when Grandma lets me help her make dinner. Dad can we still go to the park?”
“Yes honey. I’ll see you later Carlie. It was nice to see you again Tanisha. Thank you so much for the invitation for Isabella.”
“No problem Connor. Garth will pick her up at five thirty if that’s okay. He has to pick Leela up from her ballet class.”
“Sounds great.”
Tanisha smiled. “Good. Can I borrow Isabella for another minute? I want to send her home with some cookies if that’s okay with you. She says that Daddy isn’t a very good baker.”
Connor laughed. “She’s right. That’s fine.”
Tanisha reached out her hand. Isabella took it and they headed back to the kitchen. Since there was no one else in the shop, Carlie was suddenly alone with Connor. She was painfully aware of the fact. He looked at her. She tried to look away, but his eyes drew her in. They were full of so much sincerity. She backed against the counter because she wanted very badly to reach for him.
She could hear Tanisha and Isabella chatting in the kitchen, but for Carlie it felt as if they were in a world of their own. Connor tentatively reached out a hand and brushed it across her cheek. Carlie closed her eyes when she felt his lips touch hers. She put her arms around his neck and let herself get lost until a few minutes later when Tanisha loudly cleared her throat.
“I hate to interrupt Carlie, but do you know where the last of the s’mores bars are? I can’t seem to find them.”
Carlie pulled away from Connor and gave her friend an embarrassed smile. “I’ll get them. I’m sorry Nish.”
Tanisha grinned. “As my oldest and dearest friend, you can imagine what dirty deeds I’ve done in this building after closing time. The kiddo didn’t see. There’s no one around. It’s all good.”
“Too much information Nish. We’ll be right back Connor.”
Connor chuckled. “Take your time.”
Carlie followed Tanisha to the kitchen. Isabella was sitting on the footstool they kept there, patiently waiting. When Carlie saw the huge bag of cookies that Tanisha had already put aside, she had to laugh. “Nish, you’re going to put her into a sugar coma. There’s no way Connor is going to let her take that many cookies home.”
“Hey, Isabella is taking some home with her to Grandma’s house. She told me that Grandma isn’t much of a baker either.”
“I see. Let me get you those s’mores bars.” Carlie dug around in the freezer until she found what she was looking for. Since there were only six inside, she handed the whole thing to Tanisha. “There you go.”
Tanisha put the smaller plastic bag into the larger one. “There you go sweetie. We’ll go take this to Daddy.”
Isabella nodded. “Thank you.”
As they turned to leave Carlie said “It was nice to meet you Isabella. I hope to see you again sometime soon.”
“You too. Thank you.”
As Isabella walked out of the kitchen Tanisha said quietly “You’ll see plenty of her. Future stepmother.”
“Tanisha.”
Tanisha shook her head. “You’re already gone girl. I can see it in your eyes. You’re gonna walk in here Monday with a hug
e grin on your face. You’re getting laid tonight. I can feel it.”
“Is that why you asked to take Isabella for the night?”
Tanisha grinned. “You’re welcome.”
Carlie shook her head as she followed her friend out of the kitchen. Connor thanked them for the cookies and then he and Isabella said goodbye. Tanisha teased her endlessly about sex the rest of the day. She wanted to pull her hair out by closing time. But she was worried too. With the way she had felt when Connor kissed her, she was afraid that he wouldn’t have to try very hard to talk her into bed with him.
When she got home, she took Mitty for his walk. After they were home she took a shower and then agonized over what to wear. She had no idea where Connor was taking her and wished she’d thought to ask. Finally she decided that semi casual would be best. She pulled out a new pair of dark slacks and a violet sweater set. She had to run the lint brush over her clothes three times by the time the doorbell rang. Mitty suddenly decided he wanted to be even more affectionate than usual.
Her heart beat fast as she opened the door. Connor smiled at her. “You look great. I probably should have told you where we were going.”
Carlie laughed. “I thought about that too. I figured that jeans and a t-shirt were probably the wrong way to go unless you were taking me to a drive through.”
“Not on the first date. Maybe the second date.” He winked at her. “You ready to go?”
“Yes. Let me put Mitty out.”
She let Mitty out into the backyard. He whined at her for a minute, but quieted as she shut the door. “He’s a little spoiled.”
“I can see that. I hope you like Italian.”
“I do.”
“Good.” Connor smiled as he held her front door open for her. She shut and locked it and followed him out to a dark blue sedan.
Connor held the car door for her. She got in and shut the door. When he was behind the wheel she said “Nice wheels. When did you get this?”
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 209
