by Brenda Novak
“And my cookie. He’ll want to eat that.”
“And your cookie.”
The smile that had claimed his lips quickly faded. “It’s already kind of dark,” he said, sounding worried.
“It won’t be completely dark for another half hour or so. Your father’s probably just playing it safe. I’d say we can expect him sometime after nine o’clock.”
“What if he doesn’t come?” Landon said. “Are you going to take me back to the Boyers’?”
Gabrielle extricated herself from Allie and feigned interest in cleaning up the mess they’d made. “Would you like to go back to the Boyers if you can’t be with your father?” she asked, hoping she sounded as though that wasn’t really a possibility.
He chewed his lip. Gabrielle ducked her head to get a better look at the expression in his eyes, which were shaded by his bangs. “Maybe I could stay here with you,” he said somberly. “You know, to help with Allie. I could watch her when you take her swimming and stuff.”
Gabrielle felt a tug at her heart. “That would be wonderful,” she said, but she fought the warm feeling that made her want to pull him to her. She didn’t want to love this child, to love yet another part of Tucker. Because of the situation and Tucker’s own resistance, she couldn’t expect the four of them ever to become a family.
The telephone rang, and Landon looked up at her expectantly. “Maybe that’s my dad,” he said. “Maybe he’s calling to say he’s on his way.”
“Maybe.” She wiped her hands on a dish towel and picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Finally you answer,” David said. “What’s going on with you? I’ve been trying to reach you since last night.”
Gabrielle glanced at Landon, feeling guilty and anxious. What she was doing for him and his father felt right when she was by herself, but the minute she heard David’s voice, she began to question the wisdom of her actions. She shook her head to let Landon know it wasn’t Tucker, watched with a frown as his discouragement edged a little closer, then turned her attention back to David because she had to handle her conversation with him first. “Is there some sort of emergency?” she asked.
“No emergency. I just…I just felt bad about our conversation last night and wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”
“It’s fine.”
“Really? When I couldn’t raise anyone at the trailer for so long, I finally phoned the prison. They said you’d called in sick. I was so worried I was just getting ready to drive down there.”
“Oh, there’s no reason to do that,” she said. Had she given away how desperately she didn’t want him to come by speaking too fast? She took a deep breath, trying to rein in her galloping pulse. “I felt a little nauseous this morning, and thought I might be getting the flu. But it went away after a few hours.”
“And then you left the house?”
“Yeah, I took Allie swimming.”
“Where’d you go swimming?”
“In Chandler.”
“Chandler! You drove halfway here and didn’t come to see me?”
Damn. She’d been so thrown by David calling the prison, she’d said the first thing that came into her head. Why couldn’t she have told him she went grocery shopping or something? “You’re so behind with your work, I thought we’d better not interrupt,” she said lamely.
A pause. “I put in a lot of hours this weekend. I’m actually doing better.”
“That’s good.”
“I thought maybe you were with your mother.”
“I’m going over there tomorrow to meet Lindy.”
“You want me to come down and go with you? I’d like to meet everyone.”
Gabrielle’s eyes strayed to Landon. She had no idea how long Tucker planned to leave him with her, but now was not a good time for David to visit. She opened her mouth to say something to discourage him, but then she heard the back door open and Landon went charging down the hall, crying, “Dad!”
“Is someone there?” David asked.
Gabrielle bit her lip. She had the same impulse as Landon, to throw herself in Tucker’s arms, but she waved them both to silence the moment they appeared in the kitchen. “It’s just the television,” she said, feeling lower than dirt for lying to him again. They’d always been honest with each other, supportive. No wonder he thought something was up. She was breaking every rule they’d ever established between them. But she couldn’t think of any other way to handle the situation.
“Oh.” Another pause. “So you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great.”
“Good. Listen, I’m sorry we’ve been having such a rough time lately. Whatever happened in the desert, at that egg ranch, it doesn’t matter now. It’s in the past. I know what you went through was pretty hard, and no one would be thinking straight after something like that.”
He was letting her off so easy. His kindness turned Gabrielle’s guilt into a physical cramp. “Thanks for understanding,” she said.
“Do you want me to come down tomorrow?”
“I don’t think so. It’s going to be awkward enough. I’ll introduce you next time.”
She hated the pause that met her rejection. “Okay,” he said at last.
“Thanks for calling.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Gabrielle closed her eyes as she hung up the phone. What was wrong with her? She was rejecting the father of her child in favor of an escaped convict with a chip on his shoulder the size of Montana, an escaped convict who probably felt very little for her in return.
I just called to tell you I’m thinking of you….
It doesn’t mean anything, she told herself.
“Who was that?” Tucker asked.
“David.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like that guy.”
Gabrielle sank onto the couch and pulled Allie into her lap. “He’s not too thrilled with you, either.”
She expected him to pursue the subject, but he only shrugged. “Did you and Landon do okay together?” he asked. His eyes drifted down her body, then climbed back up, and the resulting hot flash made her wonder if the swamp cooler had broken down. Tucker was different tonight. Instead of scowling all the time and avoiding her gaze, he was watching her as if…as if he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She thought of his earlier phone call. I just called to tell you I’m thinking of you….
“Is it hot in here to you?” she asked.
He grinned, but then Landon stole his attention with the presentation of his cookie. “See what we have for you? It’s cool, isn’t it, Dad?”
“It looks great.”
Landon beamed at Gabrielle. “We made it together. We got pizza, too.”
Tucker squeezed his son’s shoulder and ate some of the cookie, making a big deal over how good it was. But his gaze eventually returned to Gabrielle. “Sounds like you two did pretty well today.”
If he only knew how badly they’d started off, Gabrielle thought, but she nodded as though it had been easy.
“You were talking on the phone about something being awkward,” he went on. “What?”
“Awkward? Oh, I’m going to meet my sister for the first time tomorrow.”
He hooked a thumb in one pocket. “What’s that all about?”
She told him about her mother, the day-care center where she was abandoned and the family who’d raised her. She also mentioned her plans to have dinner with her mother, sister and brother tomorrow night.
“I wondered what your childhood was like,” Tucker said. “You once mentioned something about the family you grew up with as though you didn’t quite belong to them.”
He remembered? He certainly hadn’t acted as though he was paying any particular attention when they were marching through the desert.
“What does it mean to be abandoned?” Landon asked apprehensively.
Gabrielle knew that with what he’d experienced, he could identify with her pain more than most children and spoke quickly to spare him any concern. “Yo
u’ve been through something very much like what happened to me, but it’s over and you don’t have to worry about it anymore,” Gabrielle said. “It won’t happen again.”
“Because I can always stay here, right?” he said.
Hearing this, Tucker raised an eyebrow at her, but Gabrielle didn’t have it in her to deny Landon. “You can always stay here,” she repeated, and she meant every word.
For the first time since she’d met him, Tucker dropped the prickly facade that hid the man he really was. A vulnerable expression flitted across his face. He masked it immediately, but she’d seen enough to make her want to hold him close. Although he tried to hide it, he had a soft heart beneath his tough exterior. The way he treated Landon proved it; the way he was staring at her right now seemed to prove it, too. He wanted something. If she was reading him correctly, he wanted her.
“Do we get to go with you and meet your sister?” Landon asked, oblivious to the emotion of the moment.
“Are you still going to be here?” she asked. She held her breath as she looked to Tucker for the answer.
He crossed one leg over the other and leaned against the counter. “Do you want us to stay, Gabby?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer. She wanted him to stay for the rest of his life. But she didn’t want him caught and dragged back to prison, and she knew her trailer wasn’t the best place to hide. She had both Hansen and David to consider. Even if they weren’t such a serious concern, there were too many corrections officers living in her trailer park; she couldn’t expect Tucker’s presence to go unnoticed for long. “I don’t want anything to happen to you,” she said.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she gave Allie her Tickle Me Elmo doll and got up to warm Tucker’s pizza. She had to pass him to get to the food in the refrigerator, and then the plates in the cupboard and finally the microwave, but he stayed right where he was, leaning against the cupboard with his hands in his pockets. She could feel the heat radiating from his body as she reached around him, could smell the subtle scent of soap that clung to his skin and remembered curling up with him in the cave that first night and feeling safe in spite of everything….
Clearing her throat, she tried to distract herself. “We ordered pepperoni and mushroom. Landon said you’d like that kind. We can add a few onions or green peppers, if you want. We weren’t really sure how hungry you’d be. We thought maybe you’d eat somewhere else before coming home. I mean coming here,” she amended.
“I’m hungry,” he said simply.
“Great.” She piled four slices on a plate and put them in the microwave as Allie crawled into the kitchen. Rocking back, her daughter plopped on her diapered behind and considered the three people in her kitchen. Gabrielle fully expected her to crawl over and demand to be held, or to insist on more of Landon’s attention—she already worshiped him—but she surprised Gabrielle by reaching for Tucker.
The pizza was already in the microwave, so Gabrielle moved to pick her up, assuming Tucker wouldn’t want to be bothered with a baby. But he gently pushed her aside and lifted Allie into his arms.
“What did you do today?” Gabrielle asked him as Allie kicked her feet and patted his face in obvious pleasure.
He playfully bit the chubby fingers she kept trying to stick in his mouth, and she laughed and repeated the game. He had to pull her hands away to be able to speak. “I tried to get hold of my brother, but he wouldn’t accept my call.”
“Why not?”
“Long story.”
“And?”
“And I visited an old—” he hesitated and shot a glance at Landon “—neighbor.”
“Who?” Landon asked.
“Do you remember the Marshalls?”
“Yeah.”
“I saw Sean today.”
Landon’s expression turned into a glower. “Mrs. Marshall brought the girls to visit me at the Boyers’ once.”
“Really?” Tucker sat at the table with Allie as Gabrielle took his plate from the microwave. “Wasn’t it good to see the girls again?”
“No.” He scuffed one toe against the other.
“Why not?” Tucker asked.
“Because Mrs. Marshall kept saying things about Mom that I didn’t want to hear.”
Tucker froze, his first bite of pizza halfway to his mouth. “Like what?”
“Like she’s sorry for me and all that, but some people get exactly what they deserve.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
EXACTLY WHAT they deserve. Sydney’s words cycled through Tucker’s mind as he sat on the couch, the television droning in the background. Landon was sleeping in the spare room. Gabrielle was putting her daughter to bed. And he was trying to imagine why Sydney would’ve said what she did. He kept telling himself it meant nothing, that he shouldn’t get his hopes up, but he couldn’t imagine anyone with any compassion saying such a thing to a kid who’d just lost his mother. Sydney had always treated Landon like family. What had she been thinking?
Tucker had tried calling Sean, but he wasn’t home. If he had to live in that depressing house, in the echo of a past marriage, he wouldn’t stick around much, either, Tucker reflected. But he hoped Sean would return home soon. He wanted to ask exactly where Sydney was and how he could get hold of her. Maybe she knew something Sean didn’t. Or maybe she knew the same thing he knew and would be more willing to talk.
Gabrielle came in, looking beautiful but tired with wisps of hair falling out of her ponytail. She was wearing a simple white top that contrasted nicely with her lightly tanned skin, and a pair of loose-fitting Abercrombie shorts that, when she bent over to pick up a toy Allie had tossed on the ground, allowed him a glimpse of her bikini underwear. The pink color matched the fingernail polish on her fingers and toes, but she wasn’t wearing any other makeup, or none that Tucker could see. She looked sexy as hell—very natural and earthy, as she had when they were in the desert eating rabbit from their makeshift spit. He imagined her beneath him, wrapping her legs around his waist as she pulled him inside her….
He was staring at her and could hardly swallow, let alone tear his gaze away. He wanted her. He wanted her right now.
She gave him a self-conscious smile that told him she sensed his interest. “Well, I guess the kids are down for the night.” She toyed with a pair of glass poodles on a side table as though she didn’t know what to say next, and came up with, “Can I get you a glass of wine or something?”
“No.”
“Would you like to watch a movie before bed?”
“No.”
She clasped her hands together. “Are you ready for me to make up your bed on the couch, then?”
“No.”
Her brows arched in surprise. “That doesn’t leave many options—”
“Except one,” he broke in. “Come here.”
Her eyes widened slightly and her chest expanded as she took a deep breath. He had the impression that she wasn’t sure whether to trust the change in him, and he couldn’t blame her. He knew he was probably making a mistake. He had no way of predicting his future, but their chances of being together were terrible. Loving her would only give him something else to lose, something else to crave when he had to move on. But he already craved her. She was in his blood. He might escape the police, but he’d never escape her.
“What are you suggesting?” She inched toward him.
Standing, he reached out with one hand. “Let’s go to bed.”
She hesitated for only a moment before stepping into the circle of his arms. Then she pressed her body fully against him and lifted her face to his, watching him from beneath her thick lashes. “Are you sure?” she breathed.
“Only of this,” he said, and groaned as he let go of everything that had held him back. Crushing her to him, he lowered his mouth to hers.
GABRIELLE CLOSED her eyes as Tucker’s lips moved over hers, tasting her, savoring her, exciting her. She opened her mouth to his tongue and felt a thrill
go through her as he slid it into her mouth. Letting her hands delve into his hair, she weaved her fingers through the short, silky locks, reveling in the wonderful feeling of being completely caught up in the man she loved. She was holding Tucker, kissing him with absolute abandon, and it felt…perfect. She moaned to let him know she liked what he was doing.
His good hand traveled slowly up her spine, strong and sure as his fingers massaged her tired muscles. Her breasts tingled, wanting his attention.
“I’ve never craved a woman like I crave you,” he murmured into her mouth. Then his lips moved along her jaw, beneath her earlobe, and down her neck. She shivered against him as his fingers slipped beneath her shirt and began to caress the sensitive skin of her midriff.
“I’m in love with you, Tucker,” she said. Her guard was completely down. She couldn’t have held those words back for anything.
He grew still, except for his heart, which was beating so rapidly she could feel it, too. “You can’t love me, Gabrielle,” he said. “I have nothing to give you. After tonight, you have to find someone else, someone who can be everything you deserve.”
Gabrielle didn’t know what to say. There would never be anyone else. She knew that. But she knew how important it was for him to believe he wasn’t doing anything that would irreparably change her life. He had to feel as though he could walk away and never look back, as though his leaving wasn’t going to hurt her. So she said nothing. Taking his hand, she guided it to her breasts, feeling her whole body tighten when his fingers lightly grazed her nipple.
“You feel so good,” he muttered, his voice throaty, his eyes half-lidded.
“Are you still having second thoughts?” she asked, sliding her hands beneath his T-shirt to feel the smooth skin of his stomach and chest.
He sighed and pressed his forehead to hers, allowing her to touch him while his fingers continued to tease her. “No. I’m not that unselfish.”
She laughed. “At your age, two years is a long time to go without sex.”
“After this, the last two years aren’t going to be half as difficult as the next two,” he said. “But I’m going to love you anyway.”
