by BobA. Troutt
*****
Giggle Book Three
The Crooked Man Who Walked a Crooked Mile
In the land that lay between the valley and the mountains lived a crooked man who was slightly bent. He carried a grass sack with a jar of lightning bugs in it and a June bug with a string tied to one leg. His name was Sadatsage Subadole Szczypien, but everyone around Stonebrook called him Horsefly. Now, the road that ran through Stonebrook was called Two Valley Road. It was as crooked as a snake. It winded this way and that with sharp high curves and very, very low places.
It happened one summer day when Horsefly got up early one morning and decided to take a walk. He thought that if he took a walk he might straighten up. It is such a beautiful day, he said to himself as he walked to the edge of the road. Aah he went after he took a deep breath and exhaled. Carefully, he looked to his right down the crooked road. Then he looked to his left up the crooked road. As far as his eyes could see, there were crooked hills, crooked hollows, curved ditch lines and no straightness in sight. He thought which way should I choose? He placed his weathered hand upon his crooked hip. He scratched his head with the crooked finger on his other hand and sighed softly. He looked up and down the crooked road again. He quietly listened as the wind whipped its way around and about the crooked road. The sun gracefully dotted its path with slender beams of light filtering through the dense forest on each side of the road. If it gets dark before I make it back home the lightning bugs will help guide my path, he thought to himself. The June bug shall follow the wind and lead the way I should go. Twiddle dee, twiddle dumb, he quietly laughed to himself.
With a slight turn and a humble swing, he swung the grass sack upon his bent and crooked back and the June bug tugged on the string. He pondered which way he should go. He giggled; turned his bent body in the direction he chose and started walking the crooked road. As he journeyed the road, he curiously looked about; he saw this and he saw that.
“Oh, such a beautiful day it is,” he whispered into the wind.
In a step or two he heard an echo, “Oh, such a beautiful day it is.”
He laughed and the echo laughed back. Suddenly, he came upon a little boy sucking his thumb.
“Mister Horsefly,” said the little boy.
“Just call me Horsefly,” he replied.
“Horsefly, why are you laughing with the echo?” the little boy asked. “What seems to be so funny?”
The crooked man looked at the child sucking his thumb. He reached into his grass sack and pulled out a big red sucker.
“Why, here my lad,” he said. “Try this red sucker instead. This candy is surely better than your thumb.”
“Why, thanks! Thanks, Horsefly!” the little boy shouted as he placed the big red sucker into his mouth. “Mmmm, good,” the little boy said with a big smile.
Slowly, Horsefly turned and stepped back upon the crooked road. Uh, kids! he thought. They have so much yet to learn and so far to go. I remember when I was a child and my childless ways.
“Hey, Horsefly,” came a wee voice.
“Why, where are you?” he replied as he stopped and looked in every direction.
“Over here,” said the little girl sitting on a blanket under the trees.
He turned about and quickly eyed the little girl. She was sitting on the blanket playing with her doll and pretending to sip some tea.
“Hello, my child,” he said with a grin.
“Hello, to you,” she replied as she handed him a cup of tea. “Care for a sip!”
“Why, yes. Yes indeed. This old crooked road is dusty and dry. Yes, yes, I believe I’ll sip some tea with you for a while,” he said.
The two sat and talked; they had so much fun. She introduced her doll, Miss Bessie, to him. As they sipped on the make-believe tea, he thought back on how much he enjoyed the things he did when he was growing up.
“Ah, to be a child again,” he exclaimed.
“Here, Horsefly, let me refill your cup,” insisted the child.
Eventually, they said their goodbyes and he went on his way.
“Say goodbye to Miss Bessie for me when she wakes up,” Horsefly yelled back.
Once again the crooked man stepped upon the crooked road. He shook the dust from his feet and journeyed on with his slightly crooked legs and back.
“Oh, what a beautiful day it is,” he proclaimed.
He smelled the flowers along the way, listened to the birds sing and warmed his weather-beaten face in the light of the day.
“It’s great to be alive!” he shouted.
Up the way, heavy shadows from the trees lurked about the forked curve in the road. It was dark! He backed up from where he had come and then moved forward to that ahead. He pondered for a moment which choice to choose.
“Having a little trouble?” asked a little boy holding a slingshot.
I don’t know which choice to choose. Do you?” he asked.
“Those shadows sure are scary, aren’t they?” replied the little boy.
“Uh, I really don’t know for sure,” cried Horsefly.
“Who really does?” answered the little boy.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Horsefly quipped.
As Horsefly stood at the forks in the road, the little boy shot tin cans beside the road.
“Which way would you choose?” asked Horsefly.
“Well, I don’t know,” replied the little boy. “I guess it would depend on what I want and what I am looking for.”
“Very good, child,” he replied. “So, which would be your choice?”
“I guess I would take the easy way. The one with less trouble,” proclaimed the little boy.
“You are a bright little boy,” Horsefly said.
“Well, you see, Horsefly, I’ve had to grow up quickly. I didn’t have anyone to show me; I had to learn by experience,” replied the little boy.
“There are many crossroads in life,” stated Horsefly, “that we’ll have to make decisions on. Many of them we will not know for sure what to do. All we can do is our best. For instance, early this morning I was faced with choosing a way. I chose that which I chose. Do I have any regrets? Maybe a few and I may have some problems. Would you mind if I shot your slingshot?” asked Horsefly.
“Sure, go ahead,” replied the little boy.
Carefully, Horsefly placed the stone in the pocket. He slowly pulled the stone back and carefully aimed but he didn’t let it go.
“I remember, when I was a child,” he said. “Those were some interesting years.”
He slowly eased the slingshot back down and handed it to the little boy.
“Ain’t you going to shoot?” asked the little boy.
“Not this time,” replied Horsefly. “Not this time.”
He gathered his grass sack, his lightning bugs and his June bug. Once again, he bravely stood bold, faced his way and pressed forward.
“Fiddle dee, fiddle dumb, look out world here I come,” he yelled.
As he disappeared out of sight, the little boy raised his slingshot, pulled back the stone and aimed. However, he slowly eased it down to his side. Uh, maybe Horsefly was right, the little boy said to himself. He placed the slingshot in his pocket and headed the other way. Maybe it wasn’t the little boy’s time either.
After a while, Horsefly became tired and weary. But, just up the road a bit and around the bend, he noticed a little boy sitting on a rock. As Horsefly approached the child, he spoke to him. But, the little boy didn’t answer. He spoke again; the little boy still didn’t say anything. He sat down beside the boy to rest a bit. He noticed the little boy was not speaking because he was mad. So, he decided to sit with him and not speak either. Time passed and neither had spoken a word. Horsefly began to think of the things in life that have to be let go. He reached into his grass sack and pulled out two tin cans with a long string attached to each end. He placed one can down beside the child and held the other in his
hand. With the can up to his ear, Horsefly imitated the sound of a ringing phone. But, the child did not answer. He did it again. There was still no answer.
Horsefly mumbled to himself, “I guess no one is at home.”
He waited a bit, stood and stretched his legs. He yawned and stretched his arms. The boy just sat still and quiet. Horsefly gathered his things, threw the grass sack across his back and started off down the road. That’s when he heard the sound of a ringing phone. He placed the tin can to his ear and the little boy’s voice came across the line.
“Thanks, Horsefly,” he hollered.
Horsefly replied, “Why, you’re welcome, my child. Goodbye and have a great day. Oh, it’s such a lovely day,” he said as he moved on down the crooked road. “It won’t be long,” he said, “until night falls. I want to be home by then because I’m afraid of the dark. Oh, please don’t tell anyone. But wait, wait, what is this I see?”
Quickly, he looked about. He turned his crooked body this way and that. Suddenly, he saw it. Why, it was a little girl crying. She looked so sad and disappointed. Well, well, he said to himself. Let me see if I may be of some help. He placed his foot upon the foot log that lay across the creek and started across. He rushed a little too quickly at first; his feet slipped.
“Oh, oh, me!” he yelled as he fell into the creek.
Splash, he went into the water. When he fell, the little girl laughed.
“Hey, Horsefly, are you hurt?” she jumped up and asked.
He slowly got up and climbed back upon the foot log.
“Why, I’m okay,” he replied as he continued across the creek.
As he talked to the little girl, he remembered life’s disappointments as a child.
“Life won’t always be fair,” he said. “It’s sort of like the foot log. Sometimes you’ll slip and fall and sometimes the way will be narrow. But, what matters is when you get back up again and move on. The achievements that lie ahead are far greater than the failures that are left behind.”
He reached into this grass sack and pulled out a big red hankie, reached over and wiped her eyes.
“Thanks, Horsefly,” she said. “I feel much better now.”
“That’s good my child. Just take life as it comes,” he replied. “Cross the bridges of life and burn them behind you.
“Uh, oh!” he exclaimed as he suddenly jumped up, grabbed his things and rushed across the foot log.
Splash, his feet slipped and he fell into the water again. When he got up, he noticed the little girl giggling.
“Sometimes, we don’t always learn the first time,” he said as he slowly eased up out of the creek. “Bye,” he said as he waved to the little girl.
“Bye,” she replied.
The day neared its end; the crooked man found that the crooked road had led him back home. As he neared his house, just up the way, he saw a boy standing beside the road near the curve. The closer he got, he could tell the boy had dropped his ice cream from his cone. The boy looked so frustrated and sad. Horsefly remembered there are things in life we all must overcome. We must pick up and move on. Sometimes we have to get a new start, look back and remember the things we learned.
“Here you go, my child. Here’s some money,” he said as he reached into his pocket. “Buy yourself a new cone with only one dip instead of three.”
The day slowly slipped away; the valley between the mountains became dark once more.
“I’ll see you, my friend!” he yelled to the boy. “I’ve got to go. I must get in.”
As the crooked man walked the last of the crooked road with the lightning bugs leading the way, he hurriedly rushed home before it got darker. As night fell, he said to himself, if the Lord be with me and I’m still here tomorrow, I may choose to go the other way. That is, if I’m still here tomorrow.
