by RB Hilliard
“You okay?” Olivia asked, interrupting my internal pity party.
“What? Oh, yeah. That’s awesome about the new album and tour. When does it start?” Somehow, I managed to keep my voice calm when what I really wanted to do was cry.
“Who knows? Mallory still has to pop out that baby and we have to get through Nash and Rowan’s wedding before any big decisions are made.”
I was mulling this over when the door swung open and Alex-Ann walked in. Following on her heels was Gretchen, who took one look at my face and knew she was up shit’s creek with no paddle.
“I’m sorry Quinn. Please don’t fire me,” she begged.
“You do this again and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”
“I meant to come back and clean, but then you invited me to hang out with the rock stars and the time got away from me.” The rock stars? Lord help me. I needed a cigarette.
“Well, what are you standin’ over there for?” I pointed to the remaining glasses and messy bar. “Get your ass over here and clean, woman.” She hustled over as fast as her short legs could carry her.
“I really am sorry,” she repeated. I had nothing good to say, so I left her there to stew in her juices.
An hour later, Chaz walked in. Not Evan. Just Chaz.
Before I could ask, he said, “Evan needs some time alone. He told me to tell you he would catch up with you later.”
A million questions popped into my head. I settled for, “Is he okay?”
“Not really, and before you ask, it’s not mine to tell, so don’t bother.”
“I should go home and check on him,” I muttered, more to myself than to anyone else.
“If he wanted to see you, he would’ve come with me, but he didn’t, so you need to just let him be,” Chaz snapped back at me.
“Chaz!” Olivia hissed.
“What? The man wants privacy, so she needs to honor that and give it to him.” Before I did something crazy, like plant my shoe in his groin, I exited the bar and headed for the back door.
“Where are you going?” Olivia called out.
“To smoke! You and Mr. Rude go ahead and grab a stool. Gretchen will be happy to pour you a drink!” I called over my shoulder.
Sam was waiting for me with a scowl on his face and the entire pack of cigarettes in his hand.
“Knock yourself out,” he grumbled.
“I plan on it,” I snarled back at him.
Right as I pulled open the door, Chris Stapleton’s “Broken Halos” started playing. Heaven help Alex-Ann and her love of sad songs. I was in no mood tonight.
“Change it!” I screamed. Three seconds later the song switched to “Flatliner.”
“That’ll work,” I thought as I stepped outside and into the muggy night. In my attempt to extract a cigarette from the pack, another slid past it and dropped to the ground at my feet.
“This just isn’t my damn night,” I grumbled, and bent over to retrieve the stray cigarette. Suddenly, the door swung open and smacked me square on the ass. “Shit!” I screeched. In my attempt not to plunge head first off the ledge, I flung my arms out, which sent the rest of the pack sailing off into the wide blue yonder.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Alex-Ann gasped.
“Does it look like I’m okay?” I shouted, somehow managing to regain my balance.
“What is up your ass tonight?” she shouted back at me.
“What do you think is up my ass? I come to work at my bar, a bar which I entrusted to my employees, and discover that it hasn’t been cleaned since Saturday night! Then, I want to smoke one cigarette and look!” I pointed to the parking lot, “They’re all contaminated with car juice!” Alex-Ann’s attempt to hold in her laughter made her eyes bug, which in turn made her face puff up like a frog. Unable to help myself, I burst into laughter.
“Car juice?” she asked through loud guffaws.
“What would you call it?”
“Not car juice.” This got us laughing all over again. Together we plopped down onto the ledge and dangled our legs over the side.
When the laughter finally subsided, she asked, “What’s really bothering you?” What isn’t bothering me should have been the question. “I know you’re mad at Gretchen and Helen, but it’s not like you to fly off the handle like that. Is it Evan?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. He promised he would be here tonight.”
“I know you care for him, honey, but I worry about you. The guy has some serious baggage.” When I didn’t respond, she continued, “I always pictured you settling down with a sexy cowboy. A man who knows how to use his hands, if you catch my drift.” She elbowed me, and I pushed her away. “But here you are, chasing after a famous guy who’s married and all...tattooey.”
“Tattooey?” I asked, trying not to laugh.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with tattoos or anything,” she amended. “They’re just not my thing. I didn’t think they were yours either.”
Evan had great hands, and even though he was all tattooey, he was so much more. He was funny and kind and too damn handsome for his own good. He made my heart hitch and my pulse race. He made me want to do something crazy, like take a blind leap into forever. Of course, I didn’t tell Alex-Ann this. Instead, I gave her a momism. “Love happens when you least expect it, Double A.”
Ignoring my age-old nickname for her, she scoffed, “Love? Is that what this is? You’ve known the man for all of a month. For Christ’s sake, Quinn, you haven’t even slept with him yet. For all you know, his penis could be the size of a Vienna Sausage.”
“I’ve known him for eight months, and trust me, it’s no Vienna Sausage.”
“Quinn!” she gasped, and I knew what she was thinking.
“No, Alex, I haven’t seen his penis, but it’s kind of hard to miss a giant cucumber when it’s pressed against your stomach.” She didn’t respond for the longest time.
When she did, it was to ask, “How giant?” I showed her with my hands. “Damn,” she whispered.
“He makes me feel things,” I admitted on a sigh.
“So did Casey, and you saw where that got you.” She might as well have slapped me in the face.
Glaring at her, I said, “Evan Walker and Casey Wilson are nothing alike.”
Casey Wilson was my one and only love. I was nineteen and he was twenty-three. He was my first real kiss, my first sexual experience, the first to steal my heart, and the first to break it. He was also married. Only, I didn’t know it at the time. When my daddy found out, he hunted Casey down and gave him quite the beating. I’d had lovers since, but until Evan, I’d managed to keep my heart out of it.
“Casey was married,” she stated as if this made them equals.
“Casey was a liar who led me to believe that he was in love with me. Evan has never lied to me about anything. And for your information, he refuses to cross that line. You wanna know why? Because he’s married.”
She sighed. “I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“That’s not for you to decide, and while we’re on the subject of lying, I’ve been thinking a lot about it and have decided to tell him about Amanda.”
She shifted her gaze from the parking lot to my face and narrowed it on me. “Stop feeling guilty. You didn’t know who she was, Quinn.”
“Well, now I do and I’m going to tell him.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“I am.” A minute or two passed before she tossed her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a side hug.
“Fine. You know where to come when it backfires on you.” I didn’t bother to respond. The muffled sound of Lady Antebellum’s “Bartender” drifted from beneath the door and we swung our legs in time with the beat.
Finally, not able to help herself, she asked, “Is it really that big?” I gave her a suggestive brow waggle and we both laughed.
A few hours later, Chaz and Olivia took off for home. Evan was still a no show and I was torn between Chaz’s words and
my feelings. If Chaz was right and Evan didn’t want to be bothered, then I was simply going to have to deal. Suck it up, Quinn, I repeatedly told myself for the remainder of my shift.
The moment the clock struck one, I tossed my rag on the bar and told Alex-Ann and Gretchen to shut it down. Then I grabbed my purse from the back and walked out the door.
On the drive home, all I could think about was getting to Evan. What happened with the boxes? It had to be something big for Chaz to react so protectively...so negatively. Shit. I was scared. On top of that, I needed to come clean about the Amanda-Baxter thing.
I found everyone in the house asleep, except for Evan, who wasn’t even in the house. I thought about texting him, just to see if he was okay, but the stupid Chaz on my shoulder made me reconsider. Forget the devil. I had Chaz. Yep, I was losing my marbles. Too wired for bed, I settled on a beer.
I’d just popped the top when it dawned on me. Maybe he’s in the music room. Snagging a second beer from the fridge, I headed out the door and down the path. Halfway there, I heard the piano.
“Thank you, Jesus,” I whispered to the sky, and all but skipped the rest of the way to the pool house.
Not wanting to interrupt, I slowly opened the slider and stepped inside. As I moved to close it behind me the music stopped. I turned to offer him a beer, but the look on his face froze me in my tracks. Something was definitely wrong. I wanted to ask, but intuition told me to keep my silence. I held my breath as the Chaz on my shoulder reared its devilish head once more. If he wants me to know, he’ll tell me. Please tell me.
In a flat, toneless voice, he said, “My mom fell today and hit her head. If my sister hadn’t found her, she would have died.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, but he wasn’t through.
“And it turns out that my marriage—all nine years of it—was nothing but a lie.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Somebody Told Me”
Evan
“Is your mom okay? And what do you mean your marriage was a lie?” Quinn questioned, her voice laced with anger. Here she was, ready to defend my honor, and she didn’t even know why. I slowly took a sip of my beer and thought about where to begin.
“Have I ever told you about my grandfather?” She shook her head. “He graduated from law school at the top of his class and was immediately snatched up by a big New York firm. After six years, they made him partner. By then, he was tired of the big city life. He figured he’d learned enough and was done with kissing ass. With the help of his parents, he moved back to Houston to start his own firm. That’s where he met and married my grandmother. Six years later, he had a thriving law firm and a wife and three kids to come home to.” I let the words sink in before giving her the rest. “He was also on his third affair...”
Her expression shifted from concern to outrage. “He told you this?”
“When I was fifteen and on the verge of what my grandfather considered ‘being a man,’ he sat me down and explained what was expected of me. I was going to go to law school, take over the firm when my father retired, and marry a proper lady who would give me children. Love didn’t enter into the equation. It was all about duty and carrying on the Walker name. He said it didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun on the side. It was about two months later that I caught my father cheating on my mom.” I laughed at her shocked expression, and added, “Yeah, talk about a defining moment in a young boy’s life.”
“What did you do?”
“I got mad. Then I decided I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I wanted to be a musician.” A contemptuous snort flew from her lips, making me laugh again. “Anyway, I had an interesting conversation with my sister tonight.” I proceeded to tell her what happened at the hospital with Ehren and Elaine, including the part about how healthy and happy my dad looked.
“You’re afraid to trust it,” she commented when I was done.
“Wouldn’t you be?”
“Hell yes, I would.”
I was torn. I wanted to help take care of my mom but wanted nothing to do with my dad. I could practically see the wheels turning in Quinn’s brain.
“This is why you’re so against cheating, isn’t it?” she finally asked. Leave it to Quinn to connect the dots.
“In my view, cheating is just another form of lying, and I fucking despise liars. Even if I loved Mandy with all my heart and soul, I would never be able to forgive her for lying to me.”
“About that—” she started to say.
“But it goes beyond that,” I continued, “What she’s done is so much worse than a simple lie.” Realizing that I’d rudely cut her off, I motioned for her to continue with what she was saying.
She shook her head. “No. Go ahead. What did she do now?” I told her what we found in the box. When I was done, she asked about Bobby and Tut’s visit to the cousin.
“It was a dead end. Bobby said the poor guy didn’t have a clue. He claims he left the certificate with the clerk the Monday after the wedding and that she was supposed to file it. They showed him the second certificate and said he looked genuinely shocked. He told them he had no knowledge of another wedding and thought we were still married and going strong.”
The bottle had barely touched her lips, when she jerked it back. “Wait, but didn’t he sign it?”
“He said the signature looked similar, but definitely wasn’t his. He denied ever having seen the document before tonight and apparently kept calling her a troubled child, but when they asked what he meant by this, he gave them some mumbo jumbo about her parents giving her the world and how nothing was ever enough...all shit I already knew.”
“God, Evan, this is the kind of crazy you read about in the tabloids.”
Sighing heavily, I gave her the truth. “You know, I don’t even care anymore. I’m so damn tired and just want it to be over.”
On that note, she stood and held out her hand. “I know you are. Come on. Let’s get you up to bed.”
“Oooh, now there’s an idea.” I gave her a wink and let her pull me from the bench.
“Oh, behave,” she replied in a damn good Austin Powers imitation. Even though we both laughed, I could tell something was bothering her.
After setting the alarm, we headed back to the house. We made it all the way to the kitchen door when she suddenly released my hand.
At my questioning look, she said, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
“What? Hold hands?” I half-teased, when what I really wanted to do was pull her to me and kiss the doubt from her lips.
“You’re married,” she whispered. The emotion behind those two words made me hesitate, but only because I couldn’t tell if it was anger or hurt. “I’ve had one serious relationship in my whole life and it ended with me getting my heart broken.” Shit. I wasn’t sure what bothered me more, that she’d been in a serious relationship or that he’d broken her heart.
Not able to stand the distance any longer, I reached my hand out and cupped the back of her neck. Slowly, I pulled her to me and pressed my lips to the side of her head. Damn, she smelled good. My cock rubbed painfully against the metal teeth of my zipper, a constant reminder of what I couldn’t have.
“Evan.” She whispered my name on a sigh, and I fought the urge to give her what we both so desperately wanted.
“How did the fucker hurt you, Quinn?”
“He was married.” She now had my full attention.
“What?” I growled, pulling back so I could see her face. Why was I just hearing about this now?
“I didn’t know he was married, but that’s just it. I was so blinded by my feelings that I made really poor decisions. This—” she made a back and forth motion between us— “hasn’t even gone anywhere yet, but it’s eons more than I ever felt for him.”
“And the problem is?” I asked, thinking it was a good thing.
Her eyes flashed with emotion, making them look more silver than gray. “The problem is, you’ve been with someone for nine years. Do you really want
to jump back into another relationship? Because that’s what it would be, a relationship. I can’t do casual, not with you. And then, if we do pursue this and it goes bad, what then? Plus, it’s not like you’ll even be around. I’m not exactly needy, but I’m not sure I can handle months on end without you.” When she realized I had no clue what she was talking about, she elaborated. “Olivia spilled the beans tonight about Meltdown going back on tour.” Shit! With all the crazy happening, I’d completely forgotten about that.
“I meant to tell you.”
“Well, you didn’t.”
“Look, I get it. You’re scared, but you’re letting your insecurities rule you a—”
She cut me off with a growl. “My insecurities? Seriously? Let’s get one thing straight. I’m not in the least bit insecure. I’m cautious and concerned. I know you want me.” She lowered her hand to my junk and latched on. I let out a grunt of surprise and her brow shot up in an I-told-you-so look. “It’s kind of hard not to miss this when it’s pressed against you. I’m not insecure, Rock Star, I’m smart. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should, and right now, I’m thinking we shouldn’t.” With a huff of anger, she released my dick and stormed inside the house. Clearly insecure wasn’t the right word to use.
“Good job, dumb ass,” I muttered. I knew if I went after her, it would lead to a fight...or sex. I wanted to avoid the first and drown in the last. I was well and truly screwed.
An hour later, I was sitting on the living room floor, a bottle of Jack in one hand and a third manila envelope in the other. An envelope I’d discovered while searching through the box we’d set aside. I found it at the very bottom, hidden underneath all of the pictures. I thought about waking Bobby and Tut before opening it, but as it was already late, I decided against it. My gut twisted with angst as I stared at the ticking time bomb in my hand. Whatever was in this envelope was going to change everything. I wasn’t sure how I knew this...I just did.
