He turns his back to me and tells the nurse to start cleaning Zanders' shoulder, but Zander won’t let the nurse close to him. He refuses to leave my side.
Catherine goes to walk out, but I shout, “Stay, please!” She turns around, looks at me, smiling, then looks at my mom for her approval. Mom nods to her, Catherine returns to her position by mom and they hold hands, waiting. I start screaming; it feels like the babies are trying to rip me apart.
I grab Zander’s shirt, cursing him. “I hate you right now! You are never touching me again!”
Our moms start laughing, and Zander says, “The hell I’m not. I plan on having you knocked up every year.”
I scream out in another contraction, I want to kill him, but I grab his hand and squeeze. The contractions start coming faster and harder. Dr. Martin says he wants to check me again. When he does, Zander looks over eager to see what’s happening.
“Well, Murphy, it’s time. You are fully dilated, I need you to start pushing.”
“I’m not ready, no, no! I don’t want to do this!”
My mom comes to the other side, squeezing my hand, telling me I can. “Chéri, listen to me. Calm down, you can do this. You can do anything; those babies need you to push them out, so damn it, push!”
Zander kisses me and pushes my leg into my chest while pulling me up. “Come on, baby, push!”
I start pushing until I can’t go anymore. Zander starts wiping my face off with a cloth. “Come on, Red, you can do this, you are one of the strongest women I know, our boys need you to push them out.”
Dr. Martin interrupts and says, “How can you be so sure they’re boys, Zander?”
Zander rolls his eyes at him and dismisses his question. I start pushing again.
Finally, after what feels like forever I push our firstborn out. I hear a cry as I fall back onto the bed. Dr. Martin hands our baby off to the nurse and starts looking back down at me.
Zander asks, “Is he fine, Doc, is he fine?”
“Yes, Zander, the baby’s fine. Look, I don’t have time for you now. Murphy, I need you to push again, it looks like the other one doesn’t want to wait any longer, come on, push.”
Before I know what’s going on, Zander has me in position again, trying to egg me on to push. “I’m so tired.”
“I know, baby, one more, baby, and you’re done.”
I start pushing, giving it all I have. It doesn’t take long. About two more pushes and our second baby is born screaming. The doctor starts laughing.
Zander eyes him and says, “What the hell, man, what’s so funny?”
Dr. Martin turns our baby around to show us and says, “Zander, I would like to inform you that you are the proud father of two beautiful baby girls.”
“Girls! What do you mean girls?”
The nurse comes over, bringing me baby number one and then baby number two. The nurse opens one of our daughter’s legs and says, “Girls.”
Zander looks down, baffled, he starts to sway and then the big oaf passes out on the floor. Catherine and my mom run to him in laughter. All I can do is look back at my girls and smile. I tell them, “You just gave Daddy the biggest surprise of his life. Make sure you two keep doing that, keep his big ass on his toes.”
67
Zander
I was actually scared for the first time in my life. Knowing my wife and family were inside with whoever this guy was. My body moved fast from adrenaline pumping through my veins. I took out whomever I had to in order to get in the house as fast as I could.
But it was not the same fear I had when Murphy held that gun high and shot Dicky over and over. I feared for her, knowing this will change her. You can’t kill someone and be the same. I watch her close, seeing she’s in shock. I watch as she looks all around the room at everyone and everything going on, praying she will snap out of this to be whole again. Then her water breaks and her attention is snapped back to reality. And I’m thankful; the less time she has to drown in guilt, the better.
I try as hard as I can to be there for her, but they won’t let me because of the gunshot wound in my shoulder. Don’t they understand I don’t care what happens to me? All I care about is Murphy and my babies. Finally, we start moving to get Murphy to the hospital. I make Vin carry Murphy because there is no way in hell I’m allowing Gabriel to play her knight in shining armor.
When we get to the hospital, we don’t have to wait long before Murphy is ready to push. She’s in so much pain and I feel like an ass for not being able to take it from her. But this is something she has to do, so I do the only thing I can. I help to push her on.
I keep telling her that our sons need her to be strong and push them out. The doc asks the stupidest question about how I can be so sure they’re boys, I roll my eyes and ignore him. The man should know.
But it’s when Dr. Martin tells me that I have two beautiful daughters that I feel the worst fear in my life. No fear, not even everything that happened today comes close to the fear I feel right now. I start to feel light-headed and dizzy and then nothing.
I wake up in a hospital bed. The nurse tells me to calm down as I struggle to get out of the damn bed. She informs me that Murphy gave them permission to operate on me. She says they got all the fragments out of my shoulder and closed me up the right way. I guess the doc did as good of a job as he could under the circumstances. Mom comes in the room when I imagine she hears me yelling. She tries to get me to calm down too and tells me not to worry, she gave them a simple explanation for my injury and the doctor backed her up.
“Where’s Murphy?”
“She’s in her room, she’s sleeping right now, son. She’s fine.”
“Where are my babies?”
“Your daughters are in the nursery. They have just a touch of low blood sugar and jaundice so they will be staying for a couple of days.”
I go to sit up, but Mom stops me. “Zander, they’re fine. They are perfectly healthy, this is normal for most babies. Just rest, and when you and Murphy are ready, you can see them. They’re beautiful, Zander.”
“Where are my brothers and Theo?”
“The boys are all upstairs, watching over Murphy. Theo is outside the door right there, waiting.”
“I want up!”
“No, son, you can’t, just wait…”
Fuck this. I start yelling, “Theo! Theo!”
Theo barges into the room, freaking out like I’m dying. He runs over to me. “What is it?”
“I need you to help me get up, I want to see my girls.”
“Son, wait, no. I’ll go to them right now. Don’t worry, I won’t leave them alone, I promise.”
“No, I want to be there, I need to be there. Are you going to help me or not?”
Theo looks at my mom and then looks back at me.
“Dad, I need to be there for them, help me.”
That’s all it took, after hearing me call him dad, he doesn’t care what Mom says, he starts helping me. He yells at the nurses to fix my IVs because he was moving me with or without their help. He even helps me put my pants on. Mom has been carrying all my clothing in a bag they gave her. Once I’m ready to leave, he wheels me out of the room and upstairs to the nursery.
We get to the window of the nursery, and he points to where they are.
“They’re beautiful, son, the most beautiful girls I have ever seen.”
“I know that’s what scares me.”
He laughs and knocks on the window. The nurse comes around and opens the door after checking my bracelet. She puts me in a room and brings in my girls. She tells me I can hold them. So, I sit in a rocking chair. She tells me to remove my gown, she claims they like feeling skin, it keeps them warm and content. She claims it also helps them to bond with me. She then helps me with all the ties on my gown and hangs it over my arm that has the IV in it. She then proceeds to bring one baby at a time showing me how to hold them. She even helps to adjust one so that they’re not lying on my shoulder.
Once she knows
I have them, she leaves. I look down at my baby girls, they’re so tiny, but they are the most precious and beautiful beings I have ever seen. I can’t help but shed a tear or two at how much joy I feel.
I keep watching and staring at every little movement they make. Amazed that Murphy and I made them. They look so much like her, they both have patches of red hair.
About a half an hour later, the nurse comes back, wanting to take them from me, but I refuse. Nobody will take them from me ever. I will let them go when Murphy’s ready for them and not a minute sooner.
An hour later the nurse comes back in and tells me it’s time to go see their mother. I agree, but I insist on holding them so she helps me back into my chair, then gives me my girls back. She wheels us out to a waiting Theo. He beams down at me, and without a word we start rolling towards Murphy’s room. When I see everyone inside, I can’t help but show how proud of a father I am.
My brothers start to tease me. Gabriel says, “Girls, huh Zander? Couldn’t happen to a better man.”
Liam and Vin start to tell me they hope and pray that they look just like Murphy when they grow up. Liam says, “I even want them to have every curve their mother has so it can keep you up at night thinking of all the boys dreaming of your girls.”
They continue to cut up, laughing until I decide I can shut at least one of them up. “Hey Gabriel, you think it’s so funny that I have girls, you know who I feel sorry for?”
Hey chuckles out, “No, who?”
“Gavin. Can you imagine all the fights he’s going to get into protecting them?”
Well, that shut him up, he knows I’m right. Gavin will be the one watching over them at school and home.
Mom shouts, “That’s enough, boys.” She walks over to me and passes her finger all over my daughters’ little faces. “Gavin will kill to protect them.” I look at her because it wasn’t the right thing to say, but then I look back at my girls and know she’s right. He will do what is expected to keep them safe.
She then straightens and tells them all that they have to leave so that Murphy can feed the babies. They all start coming to me to say their goodbyes to the girls and then leave. The nurse stays to show Murphy how to get the girls attached. She takes one of my daughters out of my arms reluctantly. Then she takes the next.
Once Murphy has them latched on, cradling them, the nurse leaves. I stand to look over at them filling their bellies. I look at my wife and say in a low voice, not wanting to disturb my girls, “Hey baby, you did good.”
I bend to kiss her and she starts crying. “Don’t cry, Red. What’s wrong tell me?”
She whispers, “I’m scared, Zander, it’s so wrong to be so happy after I killed a man.”
“You listen to me, Red, I know you’re feeling guilty, but don’t. Look, you see our girls? He was going to kill me and everyone in that room, even our daughters. He would have done that if you didn’t stop him. You protected us, you protected them. You did what you had to do.”
I pause and look back at my girls as they suckle on their mother’s breasts. “You understand, Murphy? You did what you had to do. Never feel guilty about protecting us. I love you more now than ever because you did that for us.”
“What if I go to prison, Zander? I can’t leave them.”
“Baby, you are not going to prison; no one will ever know what you did. No one will tell not even the good doctor, I promise. Now, I want you to forget and relax, the girls need you to stay calm.”
I kiss her again and try to change the subject. “We need to name them. Have any ideas?”
She giggles. “I have been trying for months to get you to pick out girl names with me, but you refused, and to think you call me stubborn. Now all we have are boy names.”
“I know, I know, let’s think.”
We finally decide on using the boy names, I mean, why not? Murphy has a boy name. So we decide to call them Logan and Ryan Stern.
Two days later we bring our babies home. Everyone takes their turns holding them, later on, we tell everyone goodnight and retire to our room. Mom, Cherry, Fallon and Avery have their nursery set up. It’s pink, girly and perfect, but I’m not ready to separate from them yet so I carry them to our room. Murphy tries to tell me that I should put them in their room, but I don’t care, they are staying with us for a little longer. I don’t want them across the hall yet.
“Zander, you’re going to spoil them.”
“You’re damn right I am. I want them so spoiled, just like their mother.”
She rolls her eyes and lies down from exhaustion. I lay the girls down beside her and start taking pictures.
“Zander, what are you doing?”
“I need more pictures on my phone.”
She laughs and snuggles them to her side. I sit in a chair and just watch as the most precious people in my life sleep.
68
Murphy
I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I heard something on the girls’ monitor. I throw a robe on and walk across the hall. When I open the door, I see Zander sleeping in the rocking chair, holding our daughters to his bare chest. It’s been months since we brought them home and he still dotes on them like it was the day they were born. He doesn’t even let them cry. The minute he hears a peep from them he jumps. I swear they have him so wrapped, it’s crazy.
It makes it even worse that he is the one home most of the time. I went back to work, but because Zander is not needed every day, he stays home with them. He even started cooking so he can puree their baby food. He is slowly becoming a giant stay-at-home dad and he is loving every second of it. What I wouldn’t have given to have a dad like him.
I grab one of my daughters and put her in her bed then I go back to get the other one. Zander wakes up contesting, but I manage to get my way. Once I have them tucked in, I bend down and slowly kiss my husband. He stands and picks me up, carrying me to our room. Once the door closes he throws me on the bed. My robe opens, and once Zander sees nothing but thongs underneath he turns savage. He doesn’t tell me anything as he pushes his pants down his legs. The only sound I hear is a growl when he reaches for me and rips my thong off. He pulls me to meet him at the end of the bed. He thrusts so hard inside me, I see stars. He stills and yanks my hair to pull me to his mouth. He starts kissing me long and hard, then I hear, “I’m going to fuck you so good, baby. You have no idea what the fuck I have planned for you.”
I look at him and say, “Then do it.”
That’s all it takes, he starts moving. Thrusting in and out, hard and fast, while kissing down my neck and chest. He then pulls out and flips me over. He slaps my ass and thrusts inside, with both hands wrapped around my hips as he pounds into me like a madman. “I love your fucking ass.” I feel another slap, and then he stops. He starts to round his hips into me, slowly making me moan out loud, begging for more. He grabs my hair and pulls me up, sucking on my neck.
I hear him whisper, “You like that? You like me fucking you like this?” He pushes in harder.
“Yes, God, yes! Fuck me, Zander.” He again stops, slowing me down from reaching my orgasm, damn him. I start moving on my own, taking what I need. His hand reaches around to find my clit. He starts manipulating it until I scream his name. “Zander, shit, oh God, yes!”
He pulls out again and flips me back over. This time he enters me slow, drawing it out so I feel every inch of his cock. He starts making love to me tenderly, then he looks into my eyes. “I love you, Murphy, I want another baby.”
I start to cum again. From the position he’s in, he just keeps hitting the perfect spot over and over. As soon as I come down, I try to wiggle out from under him. “No, Zander, not now.” He grabs me and fucks me so hard, I cum again, then he grunts out his own orgasm.
He lands on me and whispers, “One day you’re going to say yes.”
“Why do you keep doing this? Every time we have sex, you ask for another baby.”
“Because I’m going to wear you down. You’ll give me anoth
er baby soon enough.”
He looks down and licks my breasts, they leak all the time. “They’re so big, I can’t handle them.”
“I love them.” He keeps on lapping up the excess milk.
He starts inching up to my neck then stops and stares at me. Looking deep and long before I hear him whisper, “I have another question.”
I look at him questioning what he’s up to then he surprises me by asking, “Will you marry me?”
“You’re asking?”
“Yes. I want you to decide to be with me for the rest of your life.”
I grab his face and tell him my choice, my decision. “I love you with all my heart. Yes, Zander, yes I will marry you!”
Epilogue - Part 1
Murphy
I come downstairs, waiting for Mom and Forest to arrive for lunch. Yes, Forrest and my mother are dating now. She claims he is a very surprising man. They meet us here every Sunday for family day. She sold the club to Joe, so she is living here now and I couldn’t be happier. I walk into the living room looking for Zander and my identical twins. I see him on the floor playing with them and Gavin. My girls are now sitting and Gavin is running all over the living room. The sun is hitting my girls’ red hair perfectly. Then they look up with their big blue eyes and their bright smiles showing off the two teeth they each have and I melt into a puddle right there on the floor. I never knew my life could be like this. It’s so full and happy.
The doorbell rings, announcing Mom and Forrest are here. We all start settling into the dining room. With the table full and the high chairs around, it looks like something out of a book. Zander feeds one of our girls while Catherine starts to feed the other. Fallon was right about Catherine, she loves my girls so much. I then look as Gavin who tries to feed himself like a big boy but has more food on his shirt than in his mouth.
I decide to announce that Zander and I have decided to have a proper wedding and everyone is overjoyed. By the time lunch is through, we have the date planned and the wedding planner on retainer. I can’t believe how happy I am to get married or how I’m so in love with my husband.
Art of War Page 35
