by Audra Hart
She sleeps contentedly until dawn starts to break. He is debating whether or not he should go make coffee for her when she starts searching for him in the bed. Her searching hand finds his abdomen, she sighs happily and moves closer to him. She still hasn’t opened her eyes, but he knows she’s awake. She edges closer to him and lies her cheek on his chest, sighing happily. This is home, for both of them.
She stays that way for several minutes before she scoots her body over and on top of his supine form. He is caressing her back and shoulders, and kissing the top of her head. She straddles his hips and he knows she wants to slide onto his erection, so he holds her body close and rolls her over on to her back and starts kissing and caressing her. His hand is already tracing lazy circles around her public mound, across her hip to her buttock.
“Luca?” he hesitates then continues his ministrations. “Luca,” she says again. He pulls back and looks at her face. He knows what is coming and he wants to avoid getting into a confrontation with her.
“What’s wrong Luca?” she asks softy. “Why are you holding back? When do you plan to let me give you some pleasure?”
He resumes caressing her body and raining kisses on her breasts, and replies, “You are giving me pleasure.”
“You know what I mean Luca.”
“I don’t think we should do that,” he says flatly.
“Why?”
He sighs and raises his head and meets her gaze. “Because I do not want to risk injuring you. You know my control is tenuous.”
“You have more self-control than any creature that ever lived. You’ve never really hurt me before,” she starts.
“No?” he roars. “Don’t you remember Wyoming? The fractured pelvis! What about the broken collarbone in Maine? How about the broken wrist in Paris? I know you remember those. And all the various and sundry bruises I have left on your bodies over the years. No! I won’t risk it again!”
“Okay, okay Luca,” she soothes. “None of those things you mentioned were severe, all easily healed with the simplest of healing spells. The pleasure and joy we find in each other’s bodies certainly outweighs those minor concerns. We are meant to be joined as man and wife join. I can’t even get pregnant, so that’s certainly not a concern, even if it were possible. Why are you so worried about this?”
He sharply draws in his breath when she mentions the word pregnant. His features twist into a mask of sorrow. “Morna… “He suddenly sits up beside her, and gathers her in his arms, cradling her next to his body. He holds her like that for several minutes as he softly repeats her name in the lowest of whispers, and kisses the top of her head, brings her hands to his mouth and kisses each fingertip, then the palms of both hands.
Finally, after several minutes of this she says, “Luca please let me sit up.” When she’s facing him, she puts her hands on either side of his perfect face and looks him in the eyes. “Tell me.”
He sits up erect and meets her gaze head on. “It is not right to risk harming you ever again just for my selfish satisfaction.” He reaches out and touches her temple to trace the scar that spans down across her cheek, then traces the scars on her arm and leg. He gently places his hands on the scar on her chest above her breast, and the scar the doctors made to insert the chest tube.
“I saw your body broken and battered, I watched them perform several invasive, dangerous surgeries on your body. I saw you lie, helpless and unaware, in a coma. I died a little each time I saw you like that. After the coma, I saw you cry when you tried to use the bathroom, shower or even dress yourself. I saw you struggle to learn to walk again and bathe yourself. I saw you weep because your body was in agony. I saw you contemplate killing yourself because the pain was more than you could bear. I cannot risk doing any more harm to you, ever! I cannot be the one to cause you any more pain. You have had too much of it in this life time. I cannot do that to you, baby!” He hisses in a fierce whisper, “I cannot!”
Morna kisses his lips gently, and lies back onto the bed. She reaches up and wraps her hands around his shoulders and draws him down to her breast. She holds him there and strokes his hair, and kisses the top of his head. They remain like that for hours, each lost in their own thoughts. She finally dozes lightly, wondering if she will ever be able to find a way to soften his resolve. She knows he can be incredibly stubborn and fears he may not relent. This knowledge fills her heart with sadness, and guilt that she has caused him so much pain. Her rest is troubled by feelings of immense and deep sadness. Thoughts of the long years ahead of them, with him holding himself back, forever.
When she awakens almost an hour later, she is lying on her side turned away from him. He is spooned in behind her with the quilt between them. “Did I get cold?” she asks softly
“You were shivering,” comes his quiet response.
She turns around to face him. She loops her arms around his neck, “I love you, Man of light!” She drops a kiss on his on nose, then says, “The human needs the necessary.” She rolls out of bed, but turns to grab his big toe and shake it. “Hey love, where are my clothes I wore over here Monday morning? I will need to go out later, I want to go see Mike.”
“Morna, you have clothes in the wardrobe.”
She bends down to kiss his lips. “I should have known.”
She goes to the wardrobe, finds a pair of jeans, blue cotton pull over top, new undergarments and pair of sneakers. She chuckles as she eyes the selection, “You are better at buying my clothes than I ever have been.”
Morna sails into the bathroom, uses the necessary and takes a quick shower. She is disappointed when she comes out of the shower stall and he’s not there. She dries off, dries out the shower stall and tosses the damp towel into the hamper. The scent of Vee assaults her nose. “I must remember to ask about that little situation,” she reminds herself.
She finds the lotion in the cabinet, it’s a special blend that she prefers of lavender and peppermint, and she smiles at his thoroughness, and moisturizes her skin. She dons the bra and panties. This time they are little zebra stripe numbers. She thinks they look super, and turns to admire them in the mirror. A blush heats her cheeks when she hears Luca chuckle from the hallway door. “They are adorable Luca!”
He comes over and takes her into his arms, “No, you are adorable. Are you finished hiding in the bathroom yet?”
She kisses him lingeringly and molds her body to his and shivers with a wicked grin on her face before saying, “I am not hiding, just being human, love.” She turns and picks up the toothpaste and toothbrush as if to prove her point and brushes her teeth while he watches from behind her. Once, she meets his gaze in the mirror, she thinks he looks too serious, so she wags her butt at him. An action that earns her a gentle swat and her favorite lopsided grin. After she rinses her mouth and dries her lips on the hand towel. She picks up the hair brush and blow dryer. She sees that he is turning to leave. “Luca, you don’t have to go if you don’t want. Honestly.”
“It’s fine baby,” he says. “I am going to make you something to eat.”
She frowns at his retreating back, “I must nip that in the bud,” she muses to herself. “This arrangement will never do! It will drive us both crazy.” She quickly dries her hair and hastily runs a brush through it to smooth it down. She dons the jeans and top and carries the sneakers and socks into the kitchen.
He is sitting at the table, staring out the window when she enters the kitchen. There’s a BLT and sliced cantaloupe waiting on the table for her. She sets the shoes and socks on the floor by the table, then grabs a coke out of the fridge, and turns to watch him. She sits down and eats in silence for a few minutes, worry is gnawing at her gut though as she watches his withdrawn mood.
When she can no longer take the silence, she jumps up and runs around the table and straddles his lap. She takes his face in her hands, and looks him in the eyes. “What are you thinking Lucian Michaels?” she demands.
“About what I can’t give you,” he admits.
She
snorts in response. “You give me everything, but apparently one thing, that you choose to hold back. And since I see you are resolved to this course of action I won’t argue with you, but don’t you dare withdraw from me like you are doing right now. Remember what you told me… No Walls Between US!”
“I let you down, again.” he says quietly.
“You have never let me down in over seven hundred years!” she insists.
“Yes, I have. In two of your life times I missed you all together, you died before I found your scent. In this life time your life was destroyed and body mangled by that witch Kyera before could I make it to you. My God Morna. You are 49 years old. I lost you for 49 years. 62 years if you count the time you were lost in limbo. I fail you all the time!”
“It’s the curse, not you at fault here. Or me, because I didn’t figure out how to deflect or rebuff the curse, but it’s not your fault Luca!”
“I should have protected you from the curse. Instead you were so weak from avenging me against that ancient vampire, and trying to prevent me from changing into a blood thirsty monster that you were an easy target for that witch,” he whispered.
“Luca, I didn’t take revenge on the ancient vamp for turning you, or exhaust myself trying to prevent the change. All of my actions in the glen during that terrible time had one goal, and only one goal. To keep us alive. He wasn’t trying to change you, he had nearly drained all of the blood from your body. He would have drained me and finished you if I had not destroyed him. And the three days of spell weaving, the sharing of my blood with you was to keep you alive, Luca. I wasn’t trying to stop the change. Baby, he had drained too much blood and there was too much venom in your body, there was no way to stop the change. I didn‘t even try.”
“You shared your blood with me?” he asks in an awed voice.
“Yes, I don’t think you had enough of your own blood left in your body to survive the change, so I fed you mine over the course of the three days. I would have done anything to keep you alive. I would do the same exact thing tomorrow, even if I knew it would achieve the same exact outcome. You are my mate, my husband, my man of light, you are my everything! You have to live!”
“You didn’t fear or hate the monster I was becoming?” he demands skeptically.
“No,” she states evenly. “You could never and have never become a monster. Look at all that has happened to you that has been out of your control, yet you have never harmed anyone because of it. You have never killed a human being, immortal or vampire without just cause. So what if you cracked a couple of my bones in bed. It wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t such a savage little wanton with you, and would use the iron-lion spell. Luca we both know I have always been wild when we love. You know I speak the truth.”
Luca is silent for several minutes, taking in her words, recognizing the truth in them. He’s surprised that she remembers what the iron-lion spell is. He just wishes she remembered how to weave it on her body. It makes a Spell Weaver’s body as hard as iron and as fast as a lion. It’s very useful during battle and would be useful when they make love.
“Bite me, expose me to venom, then I can be like you,” she says in a quiet voice.
“What?” he demands. “No! I won’t do this to you.” He is shaking his head and looks horrified at the very thought.
“Look at this logically my love,” she entreats. “Think about what this hellish dance through time has done to both of us. You have to search for me endlessly across the world. Once you finally track me down, we often have to live with the knowledge that other men have done with me, what only you should ever do…”
“Enough Morna!” he growls harshly. After a very long, tense moment he sighs. “Baby, I don’t hold you to blame for that. You have no way of knowing that even I exist, that I am searching for you.”
“True, you never blame me, but we both know what it does to you, that knowledge. Luca, I see the pain in your eyes right now, just thinking about it. Have you ever thought that it burns me too, it fills me with shame, reveals me for the vile, carnal creature that I am. What about the guilt and pain you feel when you find me dead, or hurt like this time. We can avoid all that… don’t you see it is the only logical solution.” she begs him to understand.
“No I won’t infect you with what I am!” he insists.
Morna stares at him angrily for several long minutes. But she realizes that he will not change his mind in this. Not right now, maybe not ever. “Okay, okay. You are probably right. I am sure I would not be able to control myself like you do anyway. As strange as this sounds, you make being a vampire look like a good thing.” He starts to speak and she puts her fingers over his lips, “I know, I know. Sorry.”
Morna pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing; “Listen, we have to come up with a solution. I only see three possible options though. Option one, we break the curse and we both know that‘s not bloody likely, Option two, you change me or Option three, you stop searching for me after I die this time and find someone else to love. Because I won’t torture you for all of eternity. I love you too much to put you through this anymore. Don’t you see, my love?”
“Fine, we will concentrate on breaking the curse,” he decrees.
“That’s great darling, I am all for that. But we need a backup plan. Hear me out.” She holds up her hand to stop him from interrupting. “Our original wedding anniversary is coming up soon, March 22nd. If we have not broken the curse by our anniversary of next year we will move on to option two, you will change me and then wrap me in a binding spell until I learn to control my thirst, as I did to you. If you still refuse to do that then I must insist on Option three; you stop looking for me, because I will not continue to drag your heart through time. It’s cruel and hateful and I just won’t do it anymore! Do I make myself clear?” By now her words are coming in ragged sobs and the tears are streaming unchecked down her face.
“No, no never! Morna, I will not live without you! I will not live without you, do you hear me? I will change you first, before I would give you up. I will do it. I am that selfish!” he roars in frustration and pain at the thought of forever being separated from his mate. He struggles to calm himself and says, “Baby, I will do this to you before I lose you. Just please Morna, please, give it longer than a year, maybe in five or ten years we can find a solution.” His voice is coaxing at the last, trying to get her to agree.
“No darling. We must exist as equals. And you are already twenty years younger than me. Biologically speaking, I am old enough to be your mother right now. You didn’t think I remembered that little detail, that you were only 29 when you ascended, did you? Well I do. I am vain enough that I will not look old enough to be your grandmother, do you understand that, darling? I couldn’t saddle you with a fifty nine year old wife. Please tell me you do.”
“Your age means nothing to me,” he vows sincerely.
“Well it does to me. I want to always burn with passion for you and always be able to make you burn for me. It is part of who we are. Neither of us were created to live a mortal existence, with the normal patterns of birth, aging and dying. We were created for magic, love, healing, teaching, and battle when necessary. We were created for love, to love each other, in every way possible. That is our destiny.” This impassioned declaration leaves her feeling spent and she wraps her arms weakly around him, she just doesn‘t have the energy to fight with him anymore about any of this. Luca picks her up and carries her to their bedroom to love her completely because he knows her words were true. They were indeed created to love each other.
Luca sets her on her feet by their bed. He slips behind her and wraps his arms around her as he kisses her neck. Morna leans into his icy, marble like body and sighs contentedly. He brings his hands up to cup her full breasts beneath her shirt and bra. “These breasts are certainly larger than mine were seven hundred years ago.” Morna laughs and then says, “Everything about me is larger than it was seven hundred years ago.”
“Morna,
I have found you beautiful in every incarnation. I am just grateful to have you back, my love.” Luca whispers as he continues to knead her breasts through her clothes. She relaxes into him and thoroughly enjoys his ministrations. The fire in her blood is already raging and her breathing is quickened as she leans her head back against his left shoulder. He groans as he sees the pulse racing at the base of her throat. He kisses the precious evidence of her life. Then reaches down to the hem of her shirt and pulls it fluidly up and off her body.
Morna quickly turns her around to face him. Luca kisses her eyelids, her nose, her lips, her throat and the valley between her breasts. He brings his hands up to cup her breasts through the bra as he nuzzles them gently. Morna entwines her fingers in his hair and then lifts his face up to meet hers again. She gazes at the beloved and familiar face. She strokes his strong jaw enjoys the soft bristly feel of it. She giggles a bit and he looks at her questioningly. “Monday morning, when I first got here and you were leading me up the stairs, I was wondering if your whiskers would tickle if I were ever brave enough to kiss you.”
Luca smiles indulgently at her and she strokes his face with eager hands. She lovingly traces the perfect contours of his lips with her fingertips, and then stretches up to kiss them gently. She murmurs against their ice cold perfection, “I’ve been dreaming of kissing you ever since I first saw you at the hospital. And when I watched you walk into The Shack with Seth and we sat chatting at the bar it was all I could do not to try to get you come home with me. I have wanted you so very badly, my darling. I have had many a very vivid fantasy about what I wanted to do with you, but I just couldn’t make myself act on my desires. You just seemed too young, too perfect, too beautiful for the likes of me.” She admits shyly as she continues to stroke his beloved face. “Why couldn’t I remember you sooner? I have wasted so much time.” She chokes up as she speaks. “Oh Luca, I love you so very, very much. Thank you for bringing me back.”
