by S. J. West
Nadiye holds her hand out to Caylin again. “You are a very lucky woman, Caylin. It was nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too.”
Nadiye walks away, and I sit back down in my chair.
“She was pleasant,” Caylin says, watching Nadiye stroll away.
“Yes, she’s a good person.”
“And extremely beautiful.”
“Yes, she’s pretty.”
Caylin turns her gaze away from Nadiye and looks back at me.
“She’s not just pretty. She’s gorgeous.”
I shrug. “I might have thought so at one time, but someone I know has set the bar on beauty so high for me now that no one but her can reach it.”
Caylin smiles knowingly. “Oh really?”
I grin back. “You know you have Caylin Rayne Cole. I have never met and never will meet anyone who is as beautiful as you are.”
Caylin giggles. “I think you just earned yourself a kiss later on.”
I wink at her. “I’m counting on it.”
After dessert, we thank Ilkin for the meal, and I phase Caylin back to her apartment.
She drapes her arms over my shoulders and looks up at me a bit coquettishly. I loop my arms around her waist and wait for her to speak.
“I know you need to get back to writing,” she says in a soft voice, “but I need something from you before you go.”
“A kiss?” I ask knowingly.
“Yes, but…” Caylin looks a little shy as she begins to play with the back of my hair. “You know, we’re almost married, Aiden, and I’ve been extremely patient, like a saint really, about not pushing you to be overly intimate physically.”
“You’ve been very patient,” I agree.
“But a girl can only take so much and with the wedding so close…” Caylin falters again and lowers her eyes from my face to my chest as if she’s embarrassed to say what’s on her mind.
“What is it that you want, Caylin?” I murmur, willing to give her whatever she might ask of me.
“Could we…” she lifts her gaze to meet my eyes again. “ Would you…”
I don’t let her finish her request because I have needs of my own that need to be satisfied. I jerk her body up against mine and press my mouth to hers in a devouring kiss. Caylin lets out a small whimper of pleasure as I slip my hands underneath her sweater and glide them up her bare back. Her skin is so soft and warm against my hands it acts like a siren’s call, commanding me to touch more of it. I grip the bottom of her sweater with both my hands and lean away from her slightly to pull the sweater off her in one swift motion.
Caylin stands before me bare from the waist up except for a lacey black bra. Her labored breathing pushes her breasts up against the restraints of the bra. I grab her by the waist to bring her up against me again, but she places her hands on my chest and pushes back.
“If my shirt is off,” she says, “yours should be too.”
I watch as she begins to slip the buttons of my shirt out of their holes. My own breathing becomes labored as I anticipate her first touch against my skin. After my shirt hangs open in the front, Caylin slips it off my shoulders until it falls to the floor behind me. She glides her hands from my shoulders, down the center of my chest and along the planes of my stomach. Unable to take much more, I grab the waistband of her jeans and pull her up against me.
“I have never wanted any woman like I want you right now,” I tell her, wanting her to know just how much she affects me.
Caylin lifts her mouth to my ear and whispers, “Take my bra off, Aiden.”
In the past two years, this is as far as Caylin and I have gone. It’s as far as I’ve allowed us to go physically. I feared going further would reawaken a side of myself I wouldn’t be able to control. It was a selfish side of myself I never wanted Caylin to see. Nevertheless, as I stand there with her, I realize I’m not that person anymore and shouldn’t feel scared to show the woman I love how much I desire her.
I lift my hands and reach behind her back to the hooks and eyes holding her bra in place. Once undone, I pull the straps from her shoulders and slide the bra off, tossing it off to the side of us onto the floor.
Unhindered now by the bra, Caylin’s breasts are bare to my eyes for the very first time. I stand there, stunned into silence by her naked beauty and can’t prevent myself from imagining her completely nude and mine to have in a myriad of different ways.
“Aiden,” Caylin says, forcing me to lift my eyes from her breasts up to her eyes. “Touch me.”
“If I do,” I say, swallowing hard at the sight of her, “I might not be able to stop.”
“I trust you,” she tells me. “You’re stronger than you think, Aiden. It’s time you realized that.”
I hope Caylin’s right because I can’t prevent myself from grabbing the waistband of her jeans again and bringing her fully up against me until our chests are pressed against one another. The feel of her skin against mine is intoxicating. I kiss one side of her neck and let my hands cup her bottom in my palms, slightly lifting her until she wraps her legs around my hips. I phase us to her bed and gently lay her down while straddling her thighs. As she lies there with her hair spilling out around her face and her torso bare to my eyes, I can’t believe I’ve denied myself the pleasure of seeing her like this for so long.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell her as I lean down and begin to trail small kisses across her chest.
As I continue to kiss her, I cup each of her breasts in my hands and gently rub their nipples with the pads of my thumbs making them rise against my touch.
“Aiden,” Caylin moans, running her fingers through my hair and moving her body beneath mine.
I trail kisses around each breast before allowing myself to further tease her nipples. I gently bite one making her moan again before taking it into my mouth. Caylin’s sharp intake of breath tells me she finds the sensation extremely pleasurable. In that instant, I find myself more concerned about meeting her needs than my own. It makes me realize how much I’ve changed from the way I used to be.
I lavish attention on Caylin’s breasts for a long time before directing my attention to her lips again. As I hover over her, I feel her hands find the front of my pants and undo the button on the waistband.
I immediately break our kiss and look down at her.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I want you, Aiden,” she says, lowering the zipper. She glides her hand against the hard length of me over my underwear. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
I consider throwing caution to the wind and satisfying both our needs in that moment. However, a voice deep down inside my soul begins to mock me. It tells me that it knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to wait. That it knew I would fail and give into my carnal needs before Caylin and I were married. It urges me to give in and satisfy my physical desire to make her mine. It’s what we both want. Why wait?
I pull back from Caylin, forcing her hands to leave me. I sit on the edge of the bed trembling slightly from my need to have her. I close my eyes and take in a few deep breaths, trying to make the mocking voice inside my head stop laughing.
I still have my eyes shut when I feel Caylin’s weight leave the bed. A minute later, she drapes my shirt onto my back and across my shoulders. She takes one of my hands with hers.
“Aiden, look at me,” she says as she kneels down in front of me. “Please.”
I open my eyes and see that she’s put her sweater back on.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, concern for me in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”
“Six days,” I say like the countdown is some sort of mantra meant to appease my baser needs. “That’s all we have left, Caylin.”
“I know. And I know how important it is to you.”
“Six days,” I repeat. “After that, I’ll know I can be the man you deserve.”
“Oh, Aiden,” she says, on the verge of tears. “You’re the man I deserve right n
ow. I don’t know why you can’t see that.”
“I hope you still feel that way after you read my journal,” I reply, knowing what it is I have to write next.
“I will,” she says like a promise.
I lean over and kiss her on the lips.
“I need to leave,” I whisper.
“I know,” she whispers back. “I love you, Aiden.”
“And I love you, beautiful.”
I phase back to my apartment and take a long cold shower to clear my head. Luckily, I left a few clothes in the apartment and dress in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. When I go back into my study to start writing again, I skim through what I’ve written so far and realize something important.
I grab my phone and call Malcolm.
“Hello, Aiden,” he answers.
“Hey, could you come over to my apartment in Istanbul?”
“Be there shortly,” Malcolm says as I hear Lilly say something in the background of our conversation. “Uh, hold on a minute. You’re future mother-in-law wants to speak with you.”
I hear the shuffling of the phone before Lilly says, “Aiden?”
“Hi, Lilly.”
“I just wanted to see how you are,” she says, worry for me in the inflection of her voice. “Tara and I saw Caylin this morning, and she told us what you’re doing.” Lilly pauses for a few seconds before continuing. “My daughter loves you, you know. There’s nothing you can tell her about yourself that will ever change that.”
I don’t reply right away, but it does prompt me to ask her, “Did Malcolm ever tell you about his past?”
“Some of it,” Lilly tells me. “Not all of it.”
“And what he did tell you…did it make you feel any differently about him?”
Lilly sighs. “Yes. But not in a bad way. It helped me better understand how far he’s come. He’s not the man he used to be and neither are you. No one goes through life not changing at all. Some people change for the better and some people change for the worse. I think you know which category you fit into, or I never would have allowed you and Caylin to be together. I love her more than life itself. If I thought you were a danger to her, I would have found a way to keep you apart. I just want to let you know you have my full support. I know the type of man you are, Aiden. I guess you just need to finally realize it for yourself too.”
“Thanks, Lilly.”
The line goes dead, and I hear Malcolm call out my name from the living room of my apartment. I walk out to meet him.
“So, how’s the journal coming?” He asks me.
“Did Caylin tell all of you about it?”
“There’s not much she doesn’t tell us,” Malcolm replies. “How far have you gotten?”
“I wrote about my time in Heaven which is why I called you over here. I just wrote about how Andel died and I realized something. I think the Guardians were the ones who were in charge of safeguarding the seven seals. I think that’s what the princes went there to get.”
Malcolm’s eyes narrow as he thinks about my suggestion.
“It’s possible,” he agrees.
“It was obvious from what Levi said to Andel that they went there to get something in particular from them.”
“Yes, but when we talked to the Guardians who were left alive, none of them knew what the princes came there to get.”
“Maybe the Guardians chosen to keep the seals safe weren’t allowed to tell the others about them.”
“Like I said, it’s possible.” Malcolm tilts his head as he looks at me. “Is that the only reason you asked me to come here? To tell me your theory?”
“No,” I admit. “I’m about to write about our fall from grace and the years after. I’m trying to be as honest in the journal as I can be, but in order to do that for this next part, I’m going to have to mention some of the things you and I did back then. I didn’t think it right not to ask for your permission first. I’m sure Caylin told you that I plan to have her read it before we get married.”
“Yes, she told me,” Malcolm says. “As long as you write the truth, I don’t have a problem with her knowing what I used to be. She and I have talked about it before. You have my permission to mention me in your story.”
“Thank you.”
Malcolm stands there for a moment as if he’s waiting for me to say something else.
“Is that all you needed from me?” He asks.
I nod. “Yes.”
“Then I’ll get back to Lilly and Tara. They have us all making a gazillion fabric hearts for some garland Tara has in mind for the reception decorations. I don’t know why we couldn’t just hire a wedding planner to do all this for us.”
“Then you would spoil the girls’ fun,” I say.
Malcolm sighs on resignation. “Fun for the two of them. A nightmare for the rest of us.”
I chuckle at Malcolm’s dismay and silently hope that none of his efforts are being made in vain.
My reasons for coming to Earth weren’t the purest, and my time living here has been rocky at best. It was only after Lilly entered my life that I found my way out of my own personal hell, but Caylin deserved to know the long road I had to walk down to finally find myself again.
It was a story I wasn’t eager to relive, but one I knew I had to in order for Caylin to truly understand who I had been.
THE FALL
CHAPTER NINE
After the war in Heaven was over, none of us felt like winners. We all felt an immense sense of loss. I suppose, in a way, I was one of the lucky ones. I had only lost one person who meant something to me during the war. Desmond tried to bring me comfort after Andel’s death, as did Chayyliel. Nevertheless, neither of them was successful. My soul demanded that I avenge his murder, and I knew what I had to do next.
When I sought God out to tell Him of my decision, I found Him alone in the Hall of Angels sitting on His throne. He looked sad and weary, like a broken man. I almost left, but He saw me before I could.
“Come, Aiden,” He said to me. “I would like your company, my son.”
I walked over to Him and sat at His feet.
“Are you all right?” I asked Him, even though I could see the answer for myself clearly enough.
“No,” God replied, closing His eyes and leaning back in His chair like He was exhausted. “I am most definitely not.”
“The war is finally over. I thought you would be happy about that.”
“Yes, it’s over, but at a tremendous cost.”
“They didn’t deserve to stay here,” I said, unable to keep the vehemence out of my voice. “You did the right thing by banishing them. They didn’t give you any other choice.”
“We all have choices, Aiden. And I have a feeling you have made a choice of your own that you want to tell me about.”
“Yes. I’ve decided to accept your offer to become a Watcher.”
God opened His eyes and looked straight at me before saying, “I see.”
His words seemed to have a double meaning, or perhaps it was just my own guilt that made me think He saw through my scheme to be sent to Earth. If I was going to have any chance of avenging Andel’s death, I needed to be where Lucifer was. I planned to do the work God wanted us to accomplish there in helping the human race advance, but I also planned to bide my time until I found a way to make Lucifer pay for what he did. I knew I couldn’t kill him, but surely, there was another way to make him suffer.
“I will ask Desmond to take you with him on his next visit to Earth,” God told me. “You will need to decide where it is you want to go when the time comes. All the ones I have chosen to be Watchers are currently observing humanity and choosing where it is they would like to settle. You will need to pick your own home down there.”
“Will any of us be staying in the same location?”
“No. All of you will tell me, and only me, where it is you want to go. If any of you choose the same place, I will ask one of you to choose somewhere else. Only I will know where each of you is locate
d.”
“Why do you want us separated?”
“There is no need for two or more of you to be in the same location. If you are spread out, you will be more effective.”
“When will we be sent down?”
“At a time of my choosing,” God said, not sounding like He was willing to say much more on the subject.
Desmond suddenly appears before us.
“You called, father?” Desmond said, looking between God and me.
“I would like for you to take Aiden to Earth with you the next time you go down. He has decided to join the Watchers, and I would like for you to guide him for a while until he picks a place to settle.”
“It would be my pleasure,” Desmond said, bowing to God before looking back at me. “When would you like to go?”
“Are you busy now?” I asked.
“No,” Desmond said with a smile. “In fact, I was planning to go down soon anyway. Now seems as good a time as any.”
I stood and walked over to Desmond.
“Please remember,” God said to us. “You are only to observe for now. Do not interfere with anything that you see.”
“Yes, father,” Desmond said with a nod. “We won’t interfere until it’s time.”
Desmond placed one hand on my shoulder and phased us down to Earth.
I found myself in a medium sized village composed of small round houses made of wood with conical thatched roofs. There was a large gathering of people near the center of it, and Desmond and I made our way through the assemblage to see what was happening. In the middle of the village, we found a man and a woman facing one another while another man wrapped a cord around both their outstretched wrists.
“What are they doing?” I asked Desmond.
“It’s a marriage ceremony,” he told me. “Though, from what I can tell, these particular humans don’t always stay married to one another.”
“Why not?”
“They seem to think it’s better to have trial marriages that only last a year and a day in their time. If, for whatever reason, they decide they’re not meant to be together, they can dissolve the marriage without any repercussions.”
“Do all humans marry in such a way?”
